Strollerderby : daddy

Not Every Kid With a Mother Has a "Mommy"

Miriam Axel-Lute — Fri, 08 May 2009 19:00:00 GMT

A few weeks ago I was at Music Together with my daughter. We were singing a song where a typical verse went like this:

"Who's that tapping at the window? /Who's that knocking at the door?
Mommy's tapping at the window?/Daddy's knocking at the door."

(Makes you think of the toddlers who lock their parents out, doesn't it?)

After it was over, my daughter turned to me and said "That's song's silly."

"Why?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew what was coming.

"It doesn't have a Mama in it."

And indeed it didn't. Though most of the world thinks of "Mommy" and "Mama" as interchangable, for children like her who have both, they're not exactly. She's been told, and basically understands, that they are just "parent names" and that all mothers and fathers get to choose a specific ones like "mommy" or "mama," and that doesn't mean they have different roles as parents. Nonetheless, she likes them to be in balance—from early on she would assign various unnamed mothers in her books, human and animal, one or the other and stick to her designations firmly, and she's quite concerned to know which one the various parents-to-be in her life are going to pick.

Now clearly it's no revelation that kids from anything other than a one mother-one father family don't see their family structures reflected in stories, songs, school exercises, etc. very often, and they feel it.

But what struck me about this exchange was that the parent names angle provides a fairly easy way to be a lot more inclusive without interrupting things with extended awkward clauses like "except some kids instead have two moms or two dads . . ." Not that kids shouldn't be explicitly presented with the idea of family structure variety—they should—but in passing cases like this music class, it can get a little silly. In those cases, perhaps just adding more parent names to our patter could go a long way. Nothing PC and obsessive. Just mixing it up a little.

In fact, it has the extra benefit of being a little more comfy to those from a het two-parent family who have a mama or papa. I've heard from one grown woman who had a papa who says that she was fairly annoyed by the "daddy" hegemony. Meanwhile, for the kids for whom they are interchangable, it likely won't even register.

I mentioned the idea to the music teacher, who acknowledged that she'd had concerns about those mommy/daddy songs too. This session, she's been singing a different song that mentions parents by name, and she's given it four verses—Mommy, Mama, Daddy, and Papa. It doesn't cover everyone, certainly, but I think those are far and away the top choices, so they should cover a lot of ground. It was simple and non disruptive and my daughter doesn't think that song is "silly."

What do you think? Would your kids notice? Would they care?

Photo CC license, YatesLaberge, via Flickr.

More by this author:

Are You Mom, Mommy or Mother?

Madeline Holler — Tue, 05 May 2009 13:28:00 GMT

Long story, but I was reading an email from Ann Coulter the other day. In it, she was mourning the death of her mom, whom she referred to as "Mother." She also brought up her dad, or as she put it, "Father." Of course I thought, "Sure, that sounds about right." This hate-mongering, sexist xenophobe with obvious attachment issues had to have been raised in an emotionally cold home, one in which the parents were referred to in the distancing and overly formal monikers: Mother and Father.

Ahhh, but my colleagues here corrected me. More than one of us at Strollerderby calls the parentals "Mother" or "Father." There's also a prevalent Mother and Daddy combo, which, we all figured, comes from somewhere in the South.

So now I'm wondering what other people call their moms and dads. And what our kids call us.

In my white-bread Midwestern upbringing, most friends used "Mom" and "Dad," except those who spoke a language besides English at home -- and even some of them went with Mom and Dad anyway.

My own kids call me "Mom" or "Mommy" (or when they're getting all snuggly/manipulative "Mama") and their father "Daddy" (though lately the 8-year-old has been employing the oh, so mature version "Dad.")

What do you call your parents? What do your kids call you? Did you tell them what to call you or did it just happen? There's nothing sadder than a mother trying to get her kids to call their father "Papa," but they'll only use "Dad." Has it happened to you?

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Photo: theodoresworld.com

Jamie Foxx: Just a Normal Dad?

JeanneSager — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Aww, poor Jamie Foxx. His daughter's a hottie, and they've run out of chastity belts in Hollywood.

Somebody tell me, why is it news that a father has told his teenage daughter she can't "date until she's married?" So the father's Jamie Foxx, and anything an actor or actress does makes news, but I actually heard some women talking the other day about how far over-the-top Foxx is acting with all of this.

Excuse me, ladies, but do you have a daughter?

I considered sending them to chat up my husband. He's laid down the law. No dating until her eggs have shriveled up and we don't have to worry about out-of-wedlock babies.

OK, maybe he's overreacting. Maybe just until she's 37 or so, right?

I have yet to meet the guy who comes out of the nursery with his daughter wrapped in his arms and starts talking about the day she'll take her spot on the pole at the local strip club. He's an actor people, but he's still a father. And fathers don't take kindly to their little girls (of any age) being sexed up. And if they do, we'd suggest someone rescue those girls, stat.

Image: Sify

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Brett Singer — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 02:00:00 GMT

Sometimes they make it too easy.

This product pitch came in via email with the subject line, "Now this is one way to break the news!!" Let's lapse into cheeseball marketing mode for a moment:

Hey gals! Are you looking for a creative way to tell your hubby that you've got a bun in the oven? Well have we got a product for you!

Moody Mamas has introduced a product that's certain to take the edge off of the news that he's no longer the most important person in the house! He likes ice cream, right? Well, our Strawberry Storkcake and Feelin' Illa Vanilla may LOOK like ice cream cartons – but they're not! They're empty! Except for a pair of super-sexy panties! That's right – PANTIES! Because nothing says "We're having a boy" like the words "It's a boy" emblazoned on your nether region!

OK, I’m back now. Sorry about that.

Here's a more straightforward description: a fake ice cream container. You get your choice of Strawberry Storkcake or Feelin' Illa Vanilla (get it? Because you'll be feeling ill soon). When your husband opens it up, he doesn’t see ice cream – he sees panties. Panties that say, "It's a boy" or "It's a girl." On the front and on the back. You know, in case he misses the subtlety of it all.

Come to think of it, the straightforward description isn't any better.

The pitch we received promises that "it will take him a minute to figure it out!" which is probably true if he is (a) really really dumb or (b) not that dumb but doesn't understand what the hell you're doing. They also suggest that moms-to-be could "get right to the point and model a pair for him..trust me- he'll be surprised!" I imagine he would be. Just not in a good way.

The packaging is about as funny as an "I'm not as think as you drunk I am" t-shirt. Here are the ingredients of the Feelin' Illa Vanilla: "Big Belly Bombshell, 25%; Hungry Hottie, 25%; Queen of Quease, 25%; Growing Goddess, 25%." Here's an image of the label:

I take it back. The t-shirt is funnier.

I imagine that a woman could even be a little offended by this. "Queen of quease"? (For a female perspective, check out Jeanne's post.) I have no problem with off-color or inappropriate humor, but this isn't funny. As for the sexy factor, it doesn't do it for me. I'm all for spicing up a marriage. But what's wrong with just, you know, telling your spouse? I suppose this is more "creative". Kinda.

If you want to order one of these products, click here. However, the Moody Mama web site doesn't seem to agree with the PR message we received. You can buy the It's A Boy Undie ("Low rise (under belly) modal maternity undie with soft lace trim, bow accents; diamond appliqué; sold unpackaged,") here. The Stork-Cake faux-ice cream container is here, but seems to include only a generic "mama undie." I tried to figure it out for you but my head started to hurt. Who came up with this idea?

But hey -- maybe I'm missing something. Is it "hot" to combine news of a birth with tacky undergarments? Am I missing the hilarity and genius of the entire endeavor?

Here are a few images to help you decide. I highly recommend enlarging them to full-size. Provided you can stand to look at them. The butt shots are particularly funny/scary/disturbing/tell me what word you would use.

Images: MoodyMamas

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A Girl's Take: Announce Your New Edition With Panties

JeanneSager — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 23:46:00 GMT

So you already peed on the stick and waved the plastic piece soaked in urine under his nose. How do you top that kind of production when it comes time to tell him he's going to have a bouncing baby boy, or daddy's little girl for that matter?

How about a carton of It's a Boy Ice Cream? Cause you know the way to a man's heart is by handing him a fake carton of ice cream. That's right - a cardboard tub of nothing for him. Except a pair of granny panties (these are for pregnant women after all) that say "it's a girl" or "it's a boy."

Whatever happened to circling the little pee-pee on the sonogram?

According to an e-mail sent our way this week, that's just what moms will soon be able to do via online shopping at Moody Mamas and Nordstrom. "Inside each of these ice cream cartons is a pair of adorable panties," the release reads. "Trust me, it will take him a minute to figure it out!" To figure out what? That he's not getting any ice cream?

The undies don't seem to be available just yet - right now you can only buy Strawberry Stork-Cake and Feelin' Illa Vanilla with panties sporting "sexy mama" because, after all, nothing says sexy like an ass that's spreading to accomodate his new little muffin. The gender-specific undies come unpackaged at the moment. I know, I'm disappointed too.

Am I the only Mom out there who thinks this is not only ridiculous but a waste of a good pint container? When I was pregnant, I wanted my Phish Food - hold the pickles, but give it to me NOW! Besides, we weren't really the cutesy wootsy types - there was much jumping and "woohooing" when I found out I was pregnant, but no code words, no guessing games, no little pee stick wrapped in small box wrapped in slightly bigger box wrapped in . . . you get the picture. As a woman, I just can't see myself - or anyone I know - buying these.

Then again, maybe if the underwear were edible. . .

(For a male perspective on this product, click here.)

Image: MoodyMamas

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Clay Aiken ain't no fruit

Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Far be it from me to imply that Clay Aiken is anything less than muy macho. But, you know, there have been those nasty rumors, which led to threats of a lawsuit from his devoted fan base, who are known as the Claymates. (Really. They call themselves Claymates, and one of them tried to sue Clay over rumors that he was homosexual. Don't you feel normal now?) So perhaps -- and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, you know -- Clay's recent actions are fueled by a desire to "butch it up, Mary" as the saying goes.

First: he impregnates a woman. This is a clear sign of masculinity. I mean, try doing that if you're... you know, not manly. Well, it was artificial insemination, which means there was no actual physical contact. But hey, there's nothing wrong with that either. (Even if Aiken isn't the father, he could have been. Hey! Stop laughing!)

Second: when a ~~vulture~~ cameraperson from ~~the fiery pits of Hell~~ TMZ confronted him on the street, he pulled a Sean Penn and whacked the camera. In a very aggressive, manly way. Again, nothing wrong with that. (Video of the incident is below, or click here.)

One thing that I've always found interesting is what constitutes "manliness." Impregnating a woman means that your sperm is, you know, spermy. Strong swimmers, etc. But so what?

And punching someone, even if that someone is ~~being a dick~~ just doing their jobs, is more out of control than it is "macho." To be fair, Clay just kinda pushed the guy; more specifically, he pushed the camera. If he had ripped the dude's arms off and beaten him within an inch of his life, that would have been much more manly. (Not that we advocate such behavior. But it would definitely have been big news.)

So maybe it's possible that all of this "news" just happens to be coming out (no pun intended) around the time that Mr. Aiken has a new album out. Just a thought.

In closing, let me request that the phrase "Claby" (Clay + Baby) never, ever catch on. It's just... there is something wrong with that.

(TMZ.com screenshot)

other image: offoffBway.com

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Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Could the whole "Clay Aiken can impregnate a woman without even touching her" news be a big fat stinkin' lie? The Calgary Herald is reporting that "several people close to" babymama Jaymes Foster are denying claims (clayms? Nope, not going there) that Aiken is the daddy.

~~One Of The Signs Of The Apocalypse~~ TMZ first reported that Aiken had artificially inseminated Foster, the sister of record producer David Foster, going on to say that, "Clay is a lot more than sperm -- we're told he will have an active role in raising the child." The story was picked up by roughly 12 million media outlets. BUT one of the so-called sources is denying that he ever said Clay was the daddy-to-be, even asking People.com to retract their story. And B.J. Cook, David Foster's ex-wife and Jaymes Foster's ex-sister-in-law said, "Jaymes is definitely pregnant, that much is true...I can guarantee that it's not Clay Aiken's baby." (emphasis added.)

Of course, no one directly involved is talking to the press, including Clay, who is very busy punching cameras.

It must be pointed out that we have no knowledge of this incident, or alleged incident. Maybe Clay is on his way to fatherhood. Maybe not. Who the hell knows? Clearly this is the most important story of the decade. Well, other than the Sex and the City movie. (Election? What election?)

Aside #1: Foster went from "in her late 40's" to "50" in a matter of days -- I guess it is stressful being in the public eye. Here's a photo of the happy non-couple.

Aside #2: Even if this whole thing turns out to be bull, at least we'll always have the phrase "Clay is a lot more than sperm." Thank you ~~Satan~~ TMZ.

images: thehollywoodgossip.com, offoffBway.com

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Because Every Day Should Be Father's Day

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 14:54:00 GMT

If I had known Father's Day had actual, real-life winners, I would have done a better job as a dad. Because nothing inspires me to be a good dad like free stuff -- especially when the stuff involves books. By my favorite authors.

But, alas, this year, I'm a loser. (To which my wife responds, "This year?")

The author of the hilarious book of parenting essays "Daddy Needs a Drink" awarded three signed copies to readers who best showed what it means to be, or have, a dad. And because Robert Wilder hasn't gotten enough Babble love recently, I thought I'd share the winning stories -- because the first two are true gems. The third ... well you can read for yourself.

Congrats to the winners! And thanks to Wilder for giving us one more crack at Father's Day.

True Dad Confessions: I Want a Hooker

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 20:55:00 GMT

Sometimes I just want a hooker. I love when my wife does that thing with her little finger. My son gave me a card and I cried. Work is kind of like my vacation.

Holy sweet lord, man -- I am loving True Dad Confessions! Brought to you by the same people behind True Mom Confessions, the web site lets a dad anonymously post confessions -- and I'm digging what appears to be a glorious consummation of catharsis and rubber necking.

Some gems include:

I wish my wife would just leave. But the kids are staying.

I wish the kids would go to bed so my wife ad I can have round two of great uniterupted sex! YEE HAW!

My own kids annoy me! Why did I not put that condom on? I was so stupid for my 15 mins of "fame"!

These are among the more sanitized comments. Seriously, you should check it out. There are some messed up dads out there, and it's quite possible you're married to one of them.

Though I have to admit that after reading a few score comments, I began to feel something along the lines of shame or pity or maybe just sadness. There is all sorts of wife-hating -- serious, scary wife hating -- going on, so I was pleased to remember that moms have a confession outlet, too.

Or maybe that's just the genius of the site? If a dad actually gets it off his chest, he doesn't need to puff his own at home? I hope that's the case.

Of course, it's not all scary. Far from it. A lot of the confessions are downright hilarious. And insightful. From all the comments, I've learned that dads seem to enjoy the blow job. Huh.

(True Dad Confession: I wrote half of those last ones. But thank god for anonymity, right? ... oh.)

What Every Dad Needs: iPod Boxers

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 19:15:00 GMT

I've been banging my head against the wall with this Father's Day gifts article, trying to figure out why any dad needs an iPod pocket for his boxer shorts. Phone, I understand -- because at least a phone will vibrate. But an iPod? Can you imagine adjusting the volume or changing the song in public?

"Don't mind me," says man with hands down pants, "I'm just bringing on the noise." Ummmm, OK?

Of course, I'm sure there are a lot of guys who spend a fair amount of time in little more than their Underoos, so the thought of finally having a place to store an iPod is like a gift from god. I don't know who those guys are, but I will not be asking for song recommendations.

[Photo courtesy of Mike Adamick Self Portraiture and Other Dreams Co.]

Pregnancy Parting Gifts: The Push Prize for New Dads

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:54:00 GMT

Articles about being a "good dad" always seem to trigger my gag reflex. I'm under the impression that any dad actually reading an advice article is involved already and doesn't need to hear sage advice like, "Be involved!" If he didn't care, he wouldn't be searching out information.

So he needs real advice -- not the same tired cliches he's read a million different times in a million different places. Be an active participant. Plan ahead. Think about money. Gee, ya think? Does anyone really need to be reminded of these things?

Thankfully, I've wandered upon a new and wonderful piece of advice for dads leaving the hospital with their newborns: Don't forget to ask for your parting gift.

Your wife will be tired, so it's up to you to ask the nurses for your very own 2007 NESTLE GOOD START Limited Edition Backpack -- just what every new family needs.

It seems the author of some popular daddy book has teamed up with formula maker Nestle to create a new web site called Very Best Baby -- and also to remind dads that they could received door prizes that go beyond stolen hospital blankets. (Come on, who doesn't swipe those things?)

The Nestle backpack includes formula, feeding information, a changing pad and an instructional DVD to walk parents through their baby's first few days -- as if any parent in the world could operate light machinery like a DVD player in a baby's first few days.

Still, I'll give Nestle credit. This isn't the same ol' dad advice. It is, somehow, creepier.

Dadergency Beats Mom"ergency" Any Day

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:01:00 GMT

The concept behind the "Momergency Kit" is simple: If you're out and about, and the kids are freaking out, here's dice! Dice? Anything that can be cured with dice is not an emergency. (Unless you're in Vegas and that "sure thing" you were banking on ... never mind.)

Rachael just added a few of her favorite things to the kit for her own emergencies -- a flask, lube and a stuffed giraffe -- and despite the awesomeness of the images floating around my head, I don't think she went far enough.

So here's what's in the Dadergency Kit -- everthing Rachael mentioned (except the stuffed giraffe, because that's just weird. Even for me.), along with a stun gun, a six pack, a nanny, babysitter, a recliner and a 64-inch high definition TV.

Because really, if the kids are freaking out and you're at your wits end, are you really going to reach for dice? Please. With the Dadergency Kit, you just need to open the nanny pocket and then enjoy your favorite show.

Daddy Author Offers Father's Day Book Contest -- Drinking Required

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 22 May 2007 20:56:00 GMT

One of my all-time favorite daddy writers -- Robert Wilder -- is ~~shamelessly promoting his book~~ holding a great contest about Father's Day stories. The winner receives a signed copy of "Daddy Needs a Drink" -- one of the most touching and hilarious paeans to parenthood I've read in a long, long time. I've already read it, and yet I'm thinking about joining this contest anyway.

All you have to do is submit a 500-word essay about your "favorite Father's Day story" by June 1, and you could find a copy of the book in the mail just in time for the Big Day.

As Wilder says, Estimated value of prize: $12.00. Estimated emotional value: priceless.

And it's true. I read the book last summer and found myself laughing out loud and tearing up. His tales of raising young Poppy and London, combined with recollections of his own childhood, offer some of the freshest, finest fatherhood writing out there.

(Full disclosure: We share an agent, but if anything that only makes me more unbiased, because I know Wilder is a shameless glory hog who takes up all the agent's time. What? You can't leave him time in the day to return one phone call? Selfish.) (Fuller disclosure: Yes, I'm kidding. This is a contest you must enter. Your favorite dad will not be disappointed with this gift.)

[UPDATE: Ooh, I just found out that Wilder will be a host on Kristen Chase's fabulous Blog Radio program on May 30. Check it out!]

Finally! Real Advice for Good Dads, Bad Dads

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Wed, 09 May 2007 20:27:00 GMT

I can't even begin to tell you what a loser I felt like for not finishing the first page of "The Expectant Father" -- the supposed bible for new dads. I must have received five copies of the damn thing, and four of them wound up as drink coasters. For the life of me I can't find the fifth, but I imagine it has long since found a new home among discarded diapers or wherever it is I left the baby.

So it's always good to run across a new dad book that offers more than the goody-goody, "don't drop the baby or, gasp, curse! in front of her" advice. Enter David George, author of "Good Dad, Bad Dad, Do's and Don'ts from the Trenches" -- an irreverant and practical guide for new dads.

Here's the money quote: "You may be a dad, but you're still a guy," George told the Arizona Republic. "Minivan equals mini-man."

George lost his own father when he was a baby, so he didn't have a strong role model when he became a father. He hopes the book will provide some real-life examples for others, as well as a little humor -- which any new dad will definitely need.

While I disagree with some of his answers in this interview -- food on the floor is still food, buddy, and really? No college savings? -- his philosophy on dads and daughters is spot on, and his love for baseball as a first pro-sport activity is just so goshdarn, I don't know, endearing. And it's refreshing to find someone saying, "Chill out, don't try to be perfect. Just be there." Or something along those lines. I'd buy that.