They Say: Moms Get In the Way

Madeline Holler — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 13:29:00 GMT

Moms, is your baby's daddy as involved in the day-to-day care of your kid as much as you think he should be? As much as you had expected? If the answer is "no," then it's a bit of a problem, huh?

A new study from Ohio State University and the University of Illinois may have found the reason for this domestic problem: you!

A study of 97 couples concluded a mother's attitude toward the father's early acts in care-giving set the stage for dividing up the kidwork 50-50 (or 10-90 ... depending).

From Reuters:

"Mothers can be very encouraging to fathers and open the gate to their involvement in child care, or be very critical and close the gate," said Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, a professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University and a co-author of the study.

The researchers found that fathers were more involved in caring for their babies on a day-to-day basis when they received active encouragement from their wife or partner.

My first thought when I read this was, "who died and left me the 'expert'?" The first infant I had ever held was the one I had just given birth to. My husband knew all about those rubber necks, the diapers, how to do more than stare at the thing. Two kids in I still can't swaddle a kid for shit. But the old man? Like a burrito!

Still, I get it, I get it. Women are the default caregivers in our (all?) societies and most of our minds. No matter how enlightened and experienced the baby's daddy is, I suppose if Mom says he's doing it wrong, well, then he's doing it wrong.

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Photo: Reuters

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They Say: Moms Get In the Way