Strollerderby : disgusting

Bag of Feces Sent Home in Kid's Backpack

JeanneSager — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:05:00 GMT

As Madeline pointed out yesterday, the word "panties," is shudder-tastic. I've found three worse words - at least used in succession, and when referring to the contents of a little kid's backpack.

Bag of feces.

Yup, a kindergartner came home from school this week with a big ol' bag of dung in his backpack.

Inside, his dad says, was a note from the teacher that read "This little turd was on the floor in my room."

What??? This child is five and apparently had an accident in the classroom. I repeat, this child is five. Accidents happen (come on parents, sing the Elmo's Potty Time song). For a teacher to make an issue of it to begin with shows she does not belong in a kindergarten classroom (or, perhaps, any classroom). Kids need to realize there's no shame in accidents and taught that they can always ask the teacher to use the bathroom. If this was a habit, the teacher might even be wise to talk to the school psychologist about the incidents, as elementary age kids whose potty training regresses are often displaying signs of stress, illness or even abuse.

Bagging it up and sending it home is particularly heinous because, let's face it, this is POOP we're talking about. Human waste. Excrement. Should I continue? The school says they're "looking into it," but I'd say they need to look at flushing this teacher out of their system.

What do you say, Babble readers?

Image: PoopReport

Everyone Poops: The Movie?

JeanneSager — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:29:00 GMT

I know I'm not the only parent out there who salivated over the pictures and trailers for Where the Wild Things Are. But is Spike Jonze already at work on a new children's book to movie adaptation?

A potty training classic no less: Taro Gomi's Everyone Poops. Is America ready for elephants making big poops and mice making tiny poops on-screen?

Blessedly, no. Not even our "the grosser the better" culture will be doling out $10 a ticket for a two-hour look at Everyone Poops. But the picture book that has convinced a generation of toddlers that they need to get the poop out gets a hilarious send-up in a new spoof of the Where the Wild Things trailer.

Not since Trainspotting have I taken a look at a toilet in such detail.

Don't tell me that whining mom at the beginning doesn't ring some bells. Aren't you glad this is a fake?

Image: Amazon

Does Your Family Follow the Five Second Rule?

JeanneSager — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:22:00 GMT

I am not that parent. The one who starts shrieking when her daughter picks a piece of banana off the floor and shoves it in her mouth.

We are firmly in the five second rule camp, helped along by Amy's recent reassurance that a little dirt never hurt anyone.

Oh hush. While you're screwing up your nose in disgust, I've got news for you - I'm not alone. A survey performed by Kelton Research for Oreck (folks I'm not embarrassed to admit I'm not too familiar with) showed sixty percent of Americans eat right off the floor, following the three-second rule. I would have put that number a lot higher myself.

Maybe it was their terminology - really, have you ever heard of the three-second rule? Me neither. A 2003 survey by a University of Illinois grad student granted an extra two seconds of leeway, and rustled up ten percent more grubby Americans for a whopping seventy percent of us eating off the floor. Yum!

Of course Oreck threw this little thing together to sell more vacuums; the way they see it, if we're going to eat off the floor anyway, it might as well be clean. And did they mention their handy dandy new germ-killing product? This isn't a review - I haven't tested the thing (see above), so I can't tell you how clean it makes your floors.

I can tell you their scary numbers don't really change anything. Bacteria schmacteria. I'm hard-pressed to see how letting my daughter pick her cereal up off the floor and eat it is any worse than her drinking her own bath water (ewww, I know, we're working on that one). I find it even harder to believe that any parent out there is able to watch their kids SO carefully that they NEVER eat anything off of the floor. So go check out their ick factor if you're interested. Or would you prefer to stay in my camp for the next five seconds or so?

Image: OnNetworks

Strollerderby : disgusting

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Everyone Poops: The Movie?

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