Strollerderby : dogs and babies

Woman Tapes Dogs' Mouths, Gives Birth

Amy Kuras — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:24:00 GMT

I am on record as not especially loving our family dog, especially post-baby: she smells, she vomits if she drinks water too fast or eats people food, which she steals from the table or the counter if we’re not looking, and she barks piteously when we leave the house.

And after a particularly hair-raising escaping incident that had our deeply kind friends out at midnight and again at 5 am searching for her, finding friends to dog-sit is a little bit, um, challenging.

But I’ve never considered resorting to this: a woman in Johnston, RI taped her two pit bull’s mouths shut while she checked into the hospital for two days to give birth to her son.

Animal control finally found the dogs after neighbors reported no one entering or leaving her apartment (that’s right, she had two pit bulls, which are not small dogs, in an apartment) for two days and the sound of whimpering dogs. The dogs were emaciated when they were taken away by animal control.

Let’s just think about the wisdom of this woman: not one, but two, pit bulls in an apartment soon to contain a baby. Yes, I know pit bulls can be wonderful dogs when treated well, but somehow I am guessing these dogs were more likely not. Owner thinks this is an appropriate way to treat dogs – what happens when she needs to step out on the baby? And this is a 20-year-old with so little common sense, cash, or social support that she couldn’t find someone to care for her dogs while she was gone.

She’s been charged with two counts of animal cruelty. Let’s hope she’s convicted and her sentence includes some parenting classes lest her kid gets a similar level of care, huh?

Babble Talk: When Baby Makes You Hate Your Pets

Jen Chaney — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:26:00 GMT

Melissa Anderson Sweazy, as she writes in this essay, has two cats, a dog and a daughter. Ever since the baby was born, she has entertained the notion of giving away all three of her pets.

I know how she feels. After having my son, my beloved beagle-mix has often gotten in the way. He jumps up and licks my face when I'm trying to play with the baby. He sometimes pees in the house to get mine and my husband's attention. On a few occasions, he's even gotten territorial with our boy. No biting, of course. But enough doggie bitterness to add to my frustration with him and make me wonder if (and it breaks my heart to say it) we might have to get rid of our canine baby someday.

It's part of the reason why Rachael recently wrote this post on why dogs and kids don't mix, something for which the commenters gave her TONS of flack. The main issues, in my mind, are the time spent managing both child and dog, and the potential for unexpected aggression. I am really hoping we can manage that second one -- clearly the more important of the two -- by finding a trainer to help us.

Of course, every time I get freaked and start thinking the beagle has to go, I think about some of the things Hannah discussed in her post on why dogs and kids do mix. I think about the fact that our dog really does clean up all that food drops from my son's perch in his booster seat. I think about the love and licks he gives to our son. And I think about what a steady, special presence he is in our lives.

People who say you should just ditch a pet if he/she is causing you grief probably don't understand the bond that develops between dog and owner. We've only had our dog for two and a half years, and it is unthinkable to not have him in our lives. Which is why, just like Melissa, I talk myself out of getting rid of him on a daily basis. Yeah, sometimes I hate his slobbery tongue lapping my face when I'm trying to read a book or do a puzzle with my son. But I think I'd hate our pup not being there -- and hate myself for not showing him the patience and love he deserves -- even more.

Strollerderby Swells With Gratitude

Kelly Mills — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 17:02:00 GMT

Because this is the holiday of thankfulness and all that good stuff, I thought I'd find out what the other folks here are grateful for. "Okay guys," I said, "I know we usually go snarky and rude and funny, but I want each and every one of you to open your hearts and tell me what you are really, truly thankful for. The tender way your child puts her hand on your cheek and says 'Mama'? The squeals of 'Daddy, Daddy' that greet you when you wake up in the morning? That your family is healthy, happy, and cared for?"

Let's see, Rachel said she's grateful that the men in her dreams are so well-hung.

Should've known the bitches would let me down. But a couple did actually eke out something sweet. Here's the Derby gratitude list...

Jessica says she's "thankful for a three-year old who entertains, disgusts, appalls me with surprisingly accurate assessments of what objects and which people his poop resembles (as in, "Look mommy! I pooped a violin!"). Nothing says holiday bliss like an instrument-shaped potty break." Um, very true indeed.

Karen is really grateful the school buses that have saved from being three-school carpool mom. And for the e-mails we send to each other here, which are often entertaining. And for my ass. Can't say that I blame her for that.

Mike, the sentimental one, says, "I'm thankful for the sweet, beautiful children who reside within us all ... and for the wonderful promise that is humankind." (He so copied that from his Playgirl profile.) "Also, pie and egg nog. I'm thankful for pie and egg nog. And by eggnog I mean bourbon. And sometimes heroin, depending on how the nap goes." Daddy's little helper, I suppose.

Bill takes a more pragmatic approach. "I'm thankful for my precious flask at 3 hour holiday parades at night in late November in the northeast. I'm thankful for my neighbor's unsecured wireless networks. Last night I was thankful that projectile baby vomit does not have the same biological properties as Alien blood (That's it man, game over man, game over! What the f*ck are we gonna do now?)" Isn't that beautiful?

And Matt closed it out with gratitude that his dog likes the taste of projectile baby vomit. Awwww.

Me? I'm grateful for my kid, whats-her-name, and that I'll be able to eat unlimited dessert on Thanksgiving (long story). I'm grateful I can still eat after thinking of Matt's dog eating baby vomit. And for asses. And for the bitches here, who make me laugh.

Dog Eats Baby!

Karen Murphy — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:08:00 GMT

Not really. Made you look, didn't I?

Actually, it's "Dog Hugs Baby". Awww. I'm reminded of Carl the Dog somewhat here. You know Carl, don't you? He's the silent dog who is tasked with minding a baby, over and over, and brings that baby into improbable situations with everything ending up right in the end in every story. Kind of like this one by Sweet Juniper's Dutch. Or, er, maybe not.

Anyway, this dog and this baby look to have something of a symbiotic relationship going here. Definitely a good thing for Dog, don't you think? He clearly wasn't demoted too far when Baby arrived.

Have you any Dog and Baby stories to share? I've got cats and a three-year old and I'll tell you, the two don't mix; there's wary distrust on both sides. But dogs and babies can form lifelong unions, so how about you tell about yours?

Dog Meet Baby: CD Helps Dogs "Cope" with New Addition

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 15:02:00 GMT

Dog-owning parents, are you concerned about how your pup will accept a new baby in your home? Forget shoving baby blankets or baby clothes in the dog's face or having Buster smell the baby gear. What you need to do is start playing the Dog Meet Baby CD of baby sounds.

From cries to squeals, the CD offers a plethora of baby noises to help your dog relinquish his or her alpha dog status. Play the Dog Meet Baby CD for your dog before the arrival of your little one to prepare it for what lies ahead. Creators recommend supplementing this ~~torture~~ exercise with his favorite treat so your newborn's eardrum-destroying screams will be associated with happy thoughts for your dog. (Happy thoughts for your dog mean it won't snarl at your kid.)

As a bonus, if you can tolerate the entire CD of crying, whimpering, screaming, and tired whining, you're pretty much ready to be a parent.