Strollerderby : domestic violence

Chris Brown As Charlie Brown

Brett Singer — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Mad Magazine isn't nearly as funny as it used to be. Part of that is because I'm much older than I once was, but I really do think that the quality has definitely fallen off in the last (gulp) couple of decades.

But this time they nailed it.

In three strips, with spot on artwork, Mad published "You're a Bad Man, Chris Brown." See Chris visit Lucy for psychiatric help! See Chris tell Linus how he wants to punch the Little Red-Haired Girl! And see Snoopy, the World Famous Criminal Attorney, throw up his hands in defeat because his client can't keep his mouth shut.

OK, it's not fall out of your chair hilarious. And it's never good to make light of situations like what happened with Chris Brown and Rihanna. But being able to make any comedy out of something like that is tough, so I like to give credit where it's due.

You're a Bad Man, Chris Brown (Mad Magazine)

Why Teens Are Quick to Blame Rihanna

Half of Kids Surveyed Think Rihanna Had it Coming

Homebirthing Advocate's Baby Dies During Homebirth

There Oughta Be A Law (Really?)

Kate Tuttle — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:30:00 GMT

The state of Oklahoma is set to pass a law that would protect pregnant women against murder charges if they kill to protect their unborn child(ren). Legislators pushing for the bill (which passed the state's house this week and soon will hit the senate, where it is expected to pass) cite a case in which a Michigan woman, pregnant with quadruplets, killed her boyfriend after he punched her in the belly. The woman was charged with manslaughter; she lost the pregnancy as well.

Now, I don't know about you but I would have no problem using maximum force if someone threatened me while pregnant, or if they threatened one of my children. That said, I'm not sure a new law is needed -- I would use force to defend myself or my kids whether I was currently pregnant or not. The only purpose such a law could serve would be to make the Oklahoma legislature appear to care deeply about women facing domestic abuse while pregnant (which is a real problem), and to create a back-door justification for future legislation targeting women who do anything while pregnant that could be perceived as harmful to a fetus. So if you're comfortable with the idea of fining or jailing women for failing to take their prenatals, then you should support this law. Otherwise, it's really just a waste of lawmakers' time at best, a cynical and sneaky anti-choice move at worst.

Sadly, many women are beaten when pregnant (though it's not always or even often because they "refuse to abort their child," as argued by Representative Mike Thompson). I'm all in favor of toughening laws and procedures to help protect women from domestic violence. As for mistreatment that happens specifically to pregnant women, heck, let's see if we can rectify some of the worst abuses they face now, like expensive or nonexistent medical care, the inability to find a private health insurer who will cover them, or the lack of a federallly mandated paid maternity leave? Advocacy for those goals would help moms and babies more than this silly bill ever could.

So yeah, I'd probably kill to protect my unborn baby. But I'd fight any law -- like this one -- whose actual goal isn't to help pregnant women, but to hurt them.

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Half of Kids Surveyed Think Rihanna Had it Coming

JeanneSager — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 12:21:00 GMT

I've read some awful survey results over the years. But this?

Almost half of the kids surveyed by the Boston Public Health Commission said they thought singer Rihanna was "responsible" for the beat-down she received from boyfriend Chris Brown.

Forty-six percent the domestic violence case was Rihanna's fault, and fifty-two percent said it was both Rihanna and Brown's fault. Fifty-one percent blamed Brown. The numbers are particularly shocking after reading the good news about teen responses to the issue reported by my colleague Shannon last week. Kids in Chicago are speaking out in a "Beyond Chris and Rhianna" project there that clearly needs to be transplanted to Boston.

Forget "violence is not the answer." That's obviously lost on these kids. What about the simple lesson that no one can CAUSE someone else to hurt them? That it's always the choice of the person doing the beating?

The survey of kids twelve through nineteen in the Boston does not distinguish what kinds of homes the respondents come out of - so there's no way to determine what sort of homes these kids are coming from. What do you want to bet a fair share of those blaming Rihanna in some way aren't the nicest of homes? Because where does violence start? You got it. Different studies put the number of kids who get their first taste of domestic violence by watching their parents around three million annually.

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, "Constant exposure to violence in the home and abusive role models teaches these children that violence is a normal way of life and places them at risk of becoming society's next generation of victims and abusers."

It also makes them more likely to place blame on the abused rather than the abuser, and for kids to become abusers or be abused. Which means the Boston Public Health Commission may well be seeing half its survey subjects in a social services setting.

Chilling, isn't it?

Image: People

Teaching Teens to Recognize Abusive Relationships

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:49:00 GMT

A recent study in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine found that a full third of college students were involved in an abusive relationship at some point before they started college. And a survey of 1,000 children found that 25 percent of kids aged 11 to 14 had been harassed and verbally degraded by their boyfriend or girlfriend through phone calls or text messages, often late at night when their parents were sleeping.

One of the main reasons for these alarmingly high numbers is that teenage romance is bound to be sticky and confusing, so youth are often blind to behaviors that could be a harbinger of violence. High school boys are often so shy or wary of commitment that a boy who calls all the time or is possessive can be seen as confident and romantic, not dangerous. “Few adolescents understand what a healthy relationship looks like,” according to Dr. Elizabeth Miller, who has been studying teen dating violence for a decade.

Fortunately, many states are implementing programs to help teach teens about healthy dating, and to help parents, educators, and police officers recognize the signs of dating violence or verbal abuse. Texas has started requiring schools to include prohibitions against dating violence in school safety codes, and Rhode Island requires schools to teach grades 7 through 12 about dating violence and abuse. Indianapolis has started training police officers in public schools to recognize the early signs of abusive dating.

Deborah Norris (pictured), the mother of a teenager killed by her boyfriend, has started heathersvoice.net in an effort to teach teen girls about healthy romantic relationships. Loveisrespect.org is another widely utilized resource for teens seeking a way out of an abusive relationship.

These programs are a great start, but I would argue that we shouldn't focus only on teaching teen girls (who are overwhelmingly the victimes, not the perpetrators, of violence) to recognize an abusive relationship; we should also be teaching teenage boys how to be in a respectful, healthy relationship. As Harvard psychologist William S. Pollack puts it, "Usually when adolescent boys get involved with girls, they fall into the societal model which we call ‘macho,’ where they need to show they are the ones in control." It's way past time we offered these boys a different model.

Photo: New York Times

Teaching Healthy Relationship Skills in Health Class

Shannon LC Cate — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Here's some good news on the sex education front. "A new law in Rhode Island called the Lindsay Ann Burke Act requires all public middle and high schools to teach students about dating violence in their health classes." Named for a young girl killed by her abusive boyfriend, the law mandates teaching the warning signs of an abusive relationship in the public high schools. But more than just signs of abuse, the classes also teach skills for building good romantic relationships as well as healthy friendships.

The National Association of Attorneys General has passed a resolution that the classes be offered at schools everywhere in the United States, and Liz Claiborne Inc. is helping to promote the idea across the country.

Having taught young adults in high school and college, I have seen many young girls confuse controlling behavior for love. It's not surprising, given the popular culture's tendancy to portray relationships that verge on the pathological as the heights of true love. (Just think of the "bad boy" archetype.) Though it's never easy to make someone see abuse for what it is when she's under the spell of romance (or fear, as the case so often is), maybe teaching kids the difference between healthy passion and dangerous obsession will help.

Image: Georgia Family Law Blog

Fugitive Mom Comes Back To Face the Court

Amy Kuras — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 23:01:00 GMT

Reading the story of Holly-Ann Collins this week, I was struck by the old cliché that there are three sides to every story: yours, mine, and the truth.

This much is not in dispute: That Collins and her three children fled the country in 1994, and have lived in the Netherlands since. There was a warrant out for her arrest because she unlawfully left the country with her kids, defying the custody order that placed the children with their father.

Collins’ daughter backs up her account: that the children’s father was abusive, and battered her and their children. Collins claims the court was hoodwinked by her ex husband into believeing that she had turned the children against them – the same “parental alienation” defense Alec Baldwin is currently using to justify his bad behavior.

According to her, the children were ordered by the authorities to not show their mother the bruises inflicted by their father, and they would leave her secret notes inside books asking her “Help us.”

Meanwhile, the father accused her of having Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy, in which a parent fabricates diseases in their children.

Then, inspired by another case, Collins tried to get her children (the youngest of whom was fathered by another partner after her divorce and was an infant when she fled) to New Zealand. They were stopped at a layover in Amsterdam, and Collins approached the military police there asking for asylum.

She was able to convince them that she and the children would be in grave danger if she returned home, and she says she was granted asylum by Dutch authorities. Only problem is, the Dutch government says that never happened.

In the Netherlands, Collins apparently adopted several children she met while staying in a refugee camp, started a new relationship, and was roundly hated by her neighbors, one of whom tipped off the FBI after seeing a wanted poster of her and the children. She pled guilty to contempt of court in Minnesota this week, saying she only had contempt for a court that failed to protect her and her children.

I just don’t know what to believe here. Thoughts?

Pregnant Binge Drinker Faces No Criminal Charges

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 21:45:00 GMT

If there’s anything sadder than domestic violence, it’s domestic violence involving a pregnant woman and an insane quantity of booze. Last week, New Zealand police, responding to a 4 a.m. domestic violence complaint, found a heavily intoxicated woman whose partner had hit her over the head with a bottle. She was nine months pregnant, and had been drinking with her partner for eight hours straight.

The man was imprisoned on assault charges, but police were uncertain about how to deal with the mother-to-be. They considered bringing charges against her for endangering her child by binge drinking, but ultimately decided to refer the case to Child, Youth, and Family—largely because maternal substance abuse is not explicitly outlawed. In some rare cases, pregnant drinkers have been charged with attempted fetal homicide, but New Zealand, like the United States, does not criminalize the simple act of drinking while pregnant.

This recent case has New Zealand police hoping to change that. Detectives involved in the case have called for legislation banning maternal substance abuse, believing that's the best way to stop addicted mothers-to-be from endangering their fetuses. But others feel that throwing pregnant women in jail is not the answer. Furthermore, legislating pregnant women's behavior could be a slippery slope. While many pregnant women feel comfortable having a daily drink, others would never consider consuming even a drop of wine.

What do you think? Should drinking while pregnant be against the law?

Photo: The Daily Mail

McCain Finds Humor in Domestic Violence

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:28:00 GMT

I’m not one to get my panties in a bunch over an un-politically correct joke, particularly if it’s funny—and is not going to affect the state of the nation.

Take, for instance, my 81-year-old grandfather, a self-defined “Georgia Cracker.” Recently, his wife was trying to force feed him more strawberry “salad” (of the Cool Whip and Jell-O variety) and he busted out his signature, “Dagummit, woman!”

“Granddaddy,” I said, “be nice to your wife.”

“I been a good husband,” he joked. “I ain’t whipped her but twice.” I burst into laughter, choking on my Hoppin’ John. But I can say with complete certainty that neither my grandfather, nor any man who possesses similar thinking on gender equality, should ever hold political office.

In an interview with the Las Vegas Sun (thanks to Jezebel for weeding out the sleaziest part), McCain was asked why he didn’t have Governor Jim Gibbons—of sexual assault scandal infamy—chair his Nevada campaign.

“Maybe it's the governor's approval rating and you are running from him like you are from the president?” the interviewer asked.

McCain chuckled. “And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago,” he said. Hardy har har. Perhaps this would be funnier if it didn’t directly relate to the fact that women would very likely lose the right to reproductive freedom under a McCain presidency.

Photo: jezebel.com

Nicole Kidman Calls for End to Violence Against Women

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 21:14:00 GMT

On the one hand, it’s easy to poke fun when a celebrity comes out against something as obviously egregious as, say, poverty. On the other hand, stardom is one of the only surefire ways to catch people’s attention—why not exploit it in the service of good? Such was the case with Nicole Kidman’s address at the United Nations this week, calling for greater awareness about the prevalence of violence against women. Seven months pregnant with her first biological child (she and Tom Cruise adopted two children), the Moulin Rouge star called violence against women “the most widespread human rights violation of our time,” pointing to the fact that one in three women worldwide is raped, beaten, or abused in her lifetime. The Oscar-winning mother-to-be also urged the public to sign on to UNIFEM’s Internet initiative calling for global action to end violence against women.

It seems to me that both the Internet initiative and Kidman’s high profile address are simply attention grabbers for what is an incredibly important facet of the U.N.that could use more funding: UNIFEM (the United Nations Trust Fund to End Violence Against Women) is instrumental in establishing concrete programs that help women achieve financial, political, and social equality in all countries, but particularly those in or emerging from conflict. In stressing the progress initiatives like UNIFEM have made in the last quarter-century, executive director Joanne Sandler stated, “At least 89 countries have specific laws on domestic violence and more than 100 countries have made rape a crime.” I hate to see the glass as half empty, but I couldn’t help but note that this means about half of the governments in the world don't see rape as a problem, and more than half see no reason to punish men who beat their wives. It’s easy to forget that millions of people actually do not consider violence against women egregious at all—there’s a reason we need people like Nicole Kidman to remind us.

Photo: AP

Scott Weiland's Kids In Temporary Custody of Friends After Raging Domestic Dispute

Patti — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 15:16:00 GMT

Former Stone Temple Pilot/Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland's two children, ages 4 and 6, have been placed with family friends following a weekend of violent squabbling between Weiland and wife Mary that culminated in arson.

The Weilands had their children with them at the Graciela Hotel when they trashed two rooms during the course of an argument, and police later responded to a neighbor's call and arrested Mary Weiland after she set thousands of dollars' worth of Scott's clothing on fire in the yard (shades of Waiting To Exhale?). The Weilands have been married since 2000, and this isn't the first time they've gone beyond the run-of-the-mill disagreements: in 2001 domestic violence charges were filed and later dropped after a shoving incident, and the Weilands went so far as to file for divorce before eventually reconciling. Weiland's career has been fraught with instability and misbehavior. Here's hoping that kids Noah and Lucy are in safe and sane hands.

(via Defamer)

Strollerderby : domestic violence

Chris Brown As Charlie Brown

Did Sarah Palin Know That Bristol Was Sleeping With Levi?

Why Teens Are Quick to Blame Rihanna

Half of Kids Surveyed Think Rihanna Had it Coming

Homebirthing Advocate's Baby Dies During Homebirth

There Oughta Be A Law (Really?)

Half of Kids Surveyed Think Rihanna Had it Coming

UPDATE: Chris Brown's Skipping the Kid's Choice Awards

Teens Talk Back to the Media on Dating Violence

Oprah Gets It Right On Chris Brown

Mom Buys High School Musical Star's Condoms: Would You?

Teaching Teens to Recognize Abusive Relationships

Teaching Healthy Relationship Skills in Health Class

Fugitive Mom Comes Back To Face the Court

Pregnant Binge Drinker Faces No Criminal Charges

McCain Finds Humor in Domestic Violence

Nicole Kidman Calls for End to Violence Against Women

Scott Weiland's Kids In Temporary Custody of Friends After Raging Domestic Dispute