Strollerderby : dumb parents

Woman Makes Up 14 Kids For the Money

JeanneSager — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 20:08:00 GMT

They were shelling out for foster care for 16 kids, but the Scottish government left Catherine Semple alone for four years. When they finally checked in, social services found 14 of the kids didn't even EXIST!

The Glasgow mom of two began telling the government she was caring for five of her sister's kids and five foster kids in 2002. She told them she had a total of six of her own, then loaded a pile of supposed maladies on the kids to qualify for more money. The government gave her more than 69,000 pounds (in today's market about $120,000) no questions asked over a four-year period. Finally, in 2006, someone got suspicous. Wouldn't you?

Her husband claims he knew nothing about the fraud (or his supposed sown seed, apparently), and he hasn't been charged. Semple has offered to sell her house to make restitution.

I'm not sure which is more disturbing, that she bilked the government by making up a bunch of kids or that no one checked in on 10 supposed foster/adopted kids - many with disabilities - to see how they were faring.

Image: Amazon

Source: BBC News

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What Won't Men Do With a Diaper?

JeanneSager — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:31:00 GMT

I'm beginning to wonder if some men just have a diaper fetish.

First it was the guy stealing dirty diapers off porches in upstate New York. Now a Ukranian boxing champ is extolling the use of his son's wet diapers to reduce swelling in his fists.

"Baby wee is good because it's pure, doesn't contain toxins and doesn't smell," Vitali Klitschko told a German newspaper this week. "The nappies hold the liquid and the swelling stays down."

Apparently he's had one knock too many on the noggin.

Let me poke a little at his bubble. I'll do it carefully; I don't need to be "wee'd" on. See, babies are little humans. In other words, he's wrapping his hands in human waste. Doesn't sound quite as nice as baby wee, but what the hey.

Oh, and about those toxins. Apparently he doesn't keep up with the 'Derby. Because Amy gave us the lowdown months ago on all the toxic nasties that have been popping up in baby piss tests of late - think that unpronouncable hot parenting word, phthalates. Considering he got the idea from his Grandma, I guess we can excuse that part. Granny wasn't worrying about phthalates or BPA when she plopped her kids in their lead-painted crib.

Remind me not to shake hands with any boxers from the Ukraine.

Image: DiaperReview

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Angelina Buys Her Kid a Knife. What's Next, Maddox Jolie, Tomb Raider?

JeanneSager — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 02:27:00 GMT

I had to read it twice myself. Angelina, the super celebrity mommy who even gets away with feeding the kids Cheetos because, well, she's the uber mommy, not only breastfeeds on the cover of the upcoming W Magazine but chats about knife shopping with her 7-year-old.

Yes, 7-year-old Maddox has been such a good big brother, he earned himself his own dagger. WTF??

Angelina says she thinks it's "important he learns about the dangers and benefits of daggers." Sure. And I think my daughter should learn about the dangers and benefits of guns. It doesn't mean I'm going to buy her one!!

Angelina told W she got her first knife at 11. Maybe it was the one she used to use to cut herself with during sex? This was back when she was the OTHER Angelina, she of the vial of Billy Bob blood and making out with her brother. How soon we forget. I've been rooting for the growing ~~Brady~~ Jolie-Pitt bunch since Angelina and Brad started to put a little bit of down-home parenting into celebrity, but I confess I never drank the Kool-Aid. I was waiting for something like this to crop up.

Last time I checked, the 7-year-old eldest brother to a whole brood of kids is not the prime candidate for a knife. A. He's 7. B. He's 7 and C. He's . . . wait for it . . . 7.

I don't care how much time you've spent discussing "safe play" and how much you've dulled that thing down (which, I will say, she was very clear about doing), knives aren't toys. And as I don't see the Jolie-Pitts out hunting for dinner and skinning their kill, I have yet to see how this gift could be construed as anything but by a 7-year-old boy (or girl for that matter). What was the purpose of this? Is she planning on sending him off into the wild on their next trip to Africa? Are they worried about the way the Germans are taking to the new kids on the block?

I don't care how far she's climbed up the parenting ladder, Angelina just proved she's as screwed up as the rest of us. (By the way - to everyone who reports on the Jolie-Pitt clan, can we stop referring to those of her children who are not biological as her "adopted" son Maddox, etc? Once adopted, they're her kids - enough already.)

Image: Celeste

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Ten-Year-Old Does 90 MPH While Adults Party In the Back

JeanneSager — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 19:54:00 GMT

That's it. I'm not going out on the road with my kid again until I buy a tank. Maybe I should vote for McCain after all - he'd probably love to see us all driving them. OK, the venom is gone. On to the story.

A 10-year-old, driving 90 MPH down a Tennesee highway, flipped a van over the weekend. Why weren't any adults watching when a child climbed into the driver's seat and took the wheel, you might ask? I know I did. The answer didn't make me feel any better. A man and a woman were in the back of the van when it flipped, along with another 10-year-old and a 6-year-old.

Just wait, it gets worse.

The man, Randy Lewis of Bristol, Tenn., told police he'd had 15 beers that night plus some liquor. The woman, Paula Elaine Evans, was reportedly shoveling pills into her mouth as fast as she could when the cops arrived. Police would not tell the media if Lewis and Evans were the boy's parents. For his sake, I hope not. Lewis has been charged with seven violations, including third offense DUI and felony reckless endangerment while Evans faces charges of either child abuse or child neglect. Both are in jail while the three kids are in state custody.

Really, where do you begin with this one? I'm all for assigning someone as DD when you've had a little too much (or you know, two and a half cases too much) to drink. But my vote's for someone who can see over the steering wheel. Then there's Lewis' history. This was his third driving while intoxicated charge. And his duds at the arraignment? A shirt that says "By This Dad a Beer."

How about we just buy him a vasectomy?

Image: Fox News

Source: Kingsport Times-News

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Dad To Step-Daughter: Clean Your Room or I'll Lock Us All In Here

JeanneSager — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:02:00 GMT

His stepdaughter did not "adequately clean her room." So he kidnapped his family?

South Carolina stepfather James Kevin Moss is giving new meaning to the term anal retentive. Unhappy with the clutter in his 14-year-old stepdaughter's room, Moss locked the family inside their trailer. That's right. He apparently said, "Gee whiz, Kid, it's such a mess in here, we might as well all stick around in the middle of the filth." Whatever happened to good old fashioned grounding? Or parking yourself at the bedroom door with a Hefty bag and a pair of plastic gloves to protect yourself from the biohazard that is a teenager's room?

I do feel a little pang of sympathy for the guy - some teenagers' rooms seem to have more in common with Baghdad than they do a bedroom. A video by a South Carolina news crew shows the Mosses live in a small house, and who knows how far into the rest of the house the mess was overflowing. I guess I can even see how locking a teenager up with the rest of her family could be construed as punishment. How many 14-year-olds do you know who are just aching to spend extra quality time with Mom, Dad and the rest of the fam?

But there's a difference between grounding your kid and grounding the whole family. When other people ask to be let out of the house and you throw a remote control and a pad of paper at them, you're not teaching your child how to do much more than be a bully. And when the cops show up because your stepdaughter called them in, the common approach is to walk calmly to the door and tell them you're disciplining your kid - you don't force them to break down the door.

I'm tempted to point to the rebel flag flapping in the breeze outside the Mosses' trailer, but I know I'll earn a ration of "heritage, not hate" comments (I married a Southerner, I've heard it all). Instead I have to tell you, if it's all about heritage, wouldn't you say this guy comes from the shallow end of the gene pool?

Image: Boston Globe

Can a Mom be 'Too Dumb' to Parent?

JeanneSager — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 13:40:00 GMT

Barbara Gamble’s IQ is in the double digits. Officially she’s mentally retarded. But does that make her “too dumb to parent?”

According to the Canadian government, yes, it does. The 27-year-old Vancouver mom has given birth five times, and she’s due any day to deliver a sixth. Her first five children were each seized by child welfare officials shortly after she gave birth, and she’s dreading this labor and delivery most because she fears they’ll be back.

It sounds like any mother’s worst nightmare, but to be fair, at least one of the children was reportedly suffering from fetal alcohol spectrum disorder when she was removed from Gamble’s care. That would mean Gamble drank throughout her pregnancy – to such an extent that her daughter was born with permanent defects.

But was it because she didn’t know any better? Her intelligence quotient is between 63 and 71. That’s classified as “mildly mentally handicapped,” and psychologists who’ve reviewed the case have said Gamble is emotionally immature, egocentric and depressive. They estimate she can learn basic parenting skills but would have difficulty adapting to the constant changes of parenting in every day life.

By looks at a newspaper alone, that would put her on par with half the parents in America. OK, maybe not half, but pretty darn close. There are no tests to pass to become a parent (unless you count hitting the stick just right with the pee), so there are no firm numbers on just how capable any of us are of being Mom and Dad.

I’m not a doctor or a psychologist, so I can’t pretend to know if Barbara Gamble truly has the skills to learn to care for her children. Providing her a chance, the same chance given to anyone who doesn't immediately set off a warning bell for being unable to care for their child, seems only fair.

But if it's clear – the way a crack baby’s mom’s drug addiction clearly makes her unfit or the way a schizophrenic mom’s living on the street and forgetting to feed her son makes her unfit – I say take the kids . . . and run. Or is it better to leave the kids there until something does go wrong?

Source: Vancouver Sun

Image: Vancouver Sun, Ward Perrin

Parents Forget 3 Year Old at Airport

Cole Gamble — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:00:00 GMT

It’s a given that anytime you take a vacation you’re gonna forget something behind. A pair of socks, that copy of Breaking Dawn you’re reading. It’s a little bit more of an alarming sign if you leave your kid behind. And then don’t realize it until you are informed by airline staff…once you’re already in the air.

A couple on route to a European vacation somehow succeeded in getting their 18 suitcases and four children on the plane. Only problem was, they have five children.

We’ve all seen Home Alone and know full well what kind of wacky hijinks an adorable young man and a couple of rascally burglars can get into. Then there’s The Terminal, where we’re delighted by the wacky hijinks of an adorable foreign man and a rascally airport manager. Put them together and you’ve got this story. Except, not wacky and utterly stupid on the parents’ part.

The lost little girl did manage to reunite with her family in Paris on the next flight.

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Goodbye Recess; Kids Don't Need Play

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:29:00 GMT

An essay from the latest issue of Greater Good magazine talks about the disappearance of childhood play, and while I had heard all about kids sitting in front of their TVs or computers all day or kids getting roped into adult-led activities that will eventually earn them a spot on the PGA tour or get them into Yale, I was surprised to see recess was being axed at school after school.

Recess. Kids can't even have a half hour during a 7-hour school day to burn off some steam? Is that what we've come to?

The essay by David Elkin, professor emeritus of childhood development at Tufts University, says more than 30,000 schools have eliminated recess in favor of academics, while outdoor fun time has dropped by 50 percent. When kids aren't playing organized sports, they are simply lounging or watching TV. In short, imaginative, creative, unstructured play has all but disappeared in the lives of over-scheduled, over-educated children.

"For too long, we have treated play as a luxury that kids, as well as adults, could do without. But the time has come for us to recognize why play is worth defending: It is essential to leading a happy and healthy life."

It's an interesting essay that touches on the importance of play -- kids who learn via play have higher IQs -- and why educators and parents are failing their children. I only wish Elkin would have offered more solutions, however. Not necessarily for bringing play back into our lives -- he suggests more playgrounds and parents getting outside to lead by example -- but in how to fend off crazy parents who make you feel like you're not doing enough to raise a genius child.

At a party recently, a mother of a child about the same age as our own asked my wife and I which vocabulary flashcards we liked best and whether we had any tips for better numerical value comprehension. Our daughter just turned 2. At that particular moment in time, she was dipping her face in a cupcake and singing the chorus of "American Pie." My wife and I looked at the woman like she was an alien, and we could only assume she thought we were bad parents for not even owning flashcards, let alone using them.

How do you jump off the frenzied bandwagon of non-stop lessons and learning? How do you give kids their childhood back?