Strollerderby : equality

Post-Election, Women Hate Sexism Almost as Much as Feminism

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 21:34:00 GMT

A recent survey on post-election attitudes to sexism reveals that a majority of Americans live in La La Land. For starters: While most men don’t believe there is gender bias in the media or at home, almost half (4 in 10) “freely admit to having sexist attitudes towards a female president.”

Espousing similarly mind-boggling contradictions, the vast majority of women believe that Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton were treated unfairly by the media—but would be mortified to call themselves “feminists.” Only 20 percent of women identify as feminist, and even fewer (17 percent) would be supportive of their daughters’ using the label.

Merriam Webster defines feminism as “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” In other words, most women are embarrassed to label themselves as people who believe in gender equality, but are outraged over the media’s coverage of Palin’s hair. Only 48 percent of women believe that the media treated Clinton fairly, and far fewer female respondents (29 percent) believe that Palin got fair treatment. (Perhaps Palin seemed to get harsher gender-based media coverage because Clinton wasn’t, say, buying $150,000 worth of clothes on the GOP’s dime?)

Sure, some high-profile activists may have given the term “feminist” a more extremist connotation than many women would like it to have, but that doesn’t necessitate rejecting the whole theory. I don’t agree with many of PETA’s over-the-top tactics, but that doesn’t mean I stop calling myself a vegetarian.

Ready for more oblivious sexism? 39 percent of men feel that the role of president is more “naturally suited” to a man than to a woman. I guess that explains why so many more men than women (two-thirds to less than half) believe there is gender equality in the home—the wife just does all the housework because she is more “naturally suited” to it.

On the upside, the poll was relatively small, with 1,000 respondents.

Photo: Jezebel

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They Say: Children 'Programmed' to Share

JeanneSager — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:29:00 GMT

I'm not sure what prompted the first snort of derision. The headline to yesterday's Scientific American article that read "Why Children Like to Share" or the part about how our kids are "programmed" against inequality. Bad Mommy says what?

Fortunately, reading the article confirmed I'm not the Bad Mommy I sometimes fear I am. Kids aged three to eight are still toywhores who'd rather wipe their boogers with their sleeve than share a Tonka truck. Phewww. My kid's still in the running for most normal brat of the year. And despite the Manchurian Candidate-type ring to the subhead, no one's plugging a microchip into our kids' brains and programming them to believe they need to hand over the roll of Smarties just because the other kid asked.

What the study out of the University of Zurich actually states is that our kids are becoming more likely to give up their own rewards in life in order to stand up for inequality. It reiterates what I've always figured - kids are inherently good . . . until adults screw them up.

Image: Family Violence Institute

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Should Raising a Feminist Son be The Goal?

Amy Kuras — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:00:00 GMT

If you have a son – and aren’t a raving douchebag yourself – then thinking about how to raise a boy without him being one is something you have been thinking about since you first heard the words "it's a boy."

It seems like there is a lot of information out there about raising strong, independent, feminist girls, but very little about raising boys to respect women, discourage dehumanizing attitudes among their friends and generally be guys who see women as equal to themselves and deserving of the same rights and opportunities (including the right to not be harassed walking down the street, commented on and otherwise judged).

So this post by Annabel about raising a feminist son on Feministing was thought provoking. The comments were interesting as well, with several people saying that trying to encourage her son's sensitivity will get him chewed up and spit out as he gets older, as will allowing him to indulge his love of pink.

I agree with one commenter, though, who said the best thing she can do is talk to him about how to handle it if he does get mocked for wearing a pink sweater to school for example – to give him strategies for feeling different and encourage his self-esteem and self-acceptance.

And I think almost all of the commenters missed the role of fathers here. While I wouldn’t consider my husband a "feminist" man exactly, he respects and values my independence, plays physically with our girl as much as he does with our boy at each age, and just as importantly, shows our son as much affection. You can't raise your children (of any gender) exactly the same, of course, but he comes close.

In many ways, I think that modeling of how not to be a douche, of seeing boys get treated the same way as girls, of responding to your child as an individual versus a gender, is the most important factor in raising compassionate kids. Which I would say is art and parcel of feminism, and more important than "feminism" per se.

What a WAHD: Work at Home Dad's Day is Friday

Amy Kuras — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:02:00 GMT

OMG everybody! Hop in the minivan right now and get to shopping! We almost missed Work At Home Dads Day!!

It's Friday, June 13. Here's what the press release announcing it said:

"Held each year on the Friday before Father’s Day, it is one day set aside to honor and celebrate those fathers who have elected to work or remain at home – either as home-based entrepreneurs, teleworkers, or full-time caregivers – as a means to improve family interaction, professional satisfaction, and balance between the two."

Okay, nothing wrong with that. Until I read this: It's also, according to the press release, a day for work at home dads to "finally get their due."

How does one type spluttering in disbelief? Now, I am all about the stay-at-home or work-at-home dad. I think it's fabulous that men are allowing themselves the chance to have that closeness with their children typically reserved for moms, and are also picking up all the crap that goes with it. And I'll acknowledge that in some ways it's harder for them culturally than it is for mothers – playgrounds are rife with the assumptions a dad with his kids is probably unemployed or biding his time until he gets a real job, while no one looks twice at an equally intelligent and educated woman allowing her spouse to be the breadwinner.

BUT. Every mom with a male partner who is a halfway decent one has had the experience of watching your partner get treated like he's a hero for playing with the kids and father of the damn year for changing a diaper (of the decade if it's a twosie). In other words, the stuff we do all day, every day and it's just expected we get it done – and if you work for pay, you do it on top of also earning a paycheck. No one's offering up the kudos to us, is all I'm saying.

I'm not begrudging dads who take on the bulk of the childcare a day to honor them. But as a work at home mom who's lived through more than one day like this, I think there damn well better be a work at home mom day right on its heels.

Man Divorces Wife Because She Isn't A Virgin

Cole Gamble — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:00:00 GMT

People get divorced over some fairly petty stuff. He snores too loud. She dresses too scantly. We will accept almost any reason when a couple wants to split. But when you divorce your wife because of her lack of virginity, you're gonna piss off some people...

A Muslim man in France had his marriage annulled because he says his wife is not the virgin she claimed to be. The French have now been spurred to a debate as to what this ruling means to the equality between men and women. Critics see this as as an affront of Muslim secularism upon the French legal system. The husband in this case, however, claims religion did not play a role in his decision, although the case was tried in the rector of a large mosque.

Prominent feminist Elisabeth Badinter believes the ruling could drive Muslim women to seek surgery to “recreate” their virginity (i.e. sew their hymens together).

Pregnancy Discrimination Complaints On the Rise

Kelly Mills — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 13:31:00 GMT

The Wall Street Journal reports that pregnancy-bias job complaints to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission were up by 14 percent this year, and up by 40 percent from a decade ago. Employers aren't allowed to discriminate against the with child in hiring, firing, and lay-offs--which doesn't mean they can't do all those things to you, it just means they can't treat you worse than men. So essentially you have to prove that the actions were motivated by the fact that you were pregnant, which isn't always easy.

While many women also assume they get maternity leave, the truth is that only a couple states guarantee the leave must be paid. And though some ladies do pursue claims against employers, many opt to drop claims because of the time and hassle entailed. With a pregnancy or newborn, I'm sure you have all kinds of free time to work with attorneys and amass evidence and so on. But ultimately some women are successful, like the HR manager who was laid off as part of a reduction-in-force, only to discover the reduction encompassed only her. And if we can do anything to encourage women to pursue action, we'd damn well better do it, or employers will be able to continue to shut out those that are in a family way.

Dads Aren't Slacking, Are Getting Some

Kelly Mills — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 19:29:00 GMT

There has been a glut of "guys do housework, get laid" stories out lately, and some of them frankly sound like a bid to get laundry help. You know, men who do housework are hot, if women aren't tired they feel more in the mood, and so on. If it doesn't make you feel like a low-paid call girl, I suppose you could even work out some sort of direct exchange of chores for hummada hummada, but I doubt either party really wants to feel like there's an ulterior motive behind the acts of cleanliness and love.

No matter how you look at it though, a new report says guys are pitching in on housework and childcare more, and possibly getting laid for it. They cite that men's contributions to housework have doubled since the 60's, and pitching in on childcare has tripled since 1965. Great. Maybe now people will stop asking dads with kids in tow, "Oh, are you babysitting?" And if there's a happy ending (in every sense) to this more equitable division of labor, then three cheers for parents today.