Strollerderby : fashion

Best of FameCrawler - Week of May 29th

Whit Honea — Fri, 29 May 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Mike Tyson's 4-Year-Old Daughter Dies

Madonna Dishes on A-Rod and Kate Hudson

Confirmed - Gisele is Pregnant With Tom Brady's Baby!

Nicole Richie, Dad Lionel & Daughter Harlow (PHOTOS)

Sneak Peek! Jon & Kate Plus 8 Season Premiere

Kelly Rutherford, Lies and Videotape

Amy Mickelson's Breast Cancer Battle

Michelle Williams and Daughter Matilda Support Their Local Coffee House

Angelina Jolie: Madonna Adopts For Fame

Jon & Kate - Who Are The Kids Happier With? (Photos)

Slumdog Kids Finally Get A Home!

Brian Grazer's Prenup Still Makes Wife Rich

American Apparel Leggings - Crass or Cute?

Brett Singer — Thu, 28 May 2009 19:40:00 GMT

When you think "kids", you think "fashion." And when you think "fashion", you think "Lamé".

That's Lamé, as in "lah-may", not lame, as in dopey. (Or, if you're a little nerdy, the LAME MP3 encoder.)

Anyway, I personally don't think of fashion when I think of kids, and I hardly ever think of lamé, gold or any other color. American Apparel however, the fashion company with the creepy ads, apparently thinks "toddlers + lamé leggings = GREAT idea.

A reader tipped us off to these "shiny leggings" which are available for adults, and also your kids!

The adult version is described as "A flash from the past, these sexy leggings are easily dressed up for a night on the town." The kiddie version? "Our shiny Lamé leggings, now available for little ones."

So... what does this mean? That the "sexy leggings" you love are now available for your daughter?

The kiddie leggings are "Not intended for sleepwear." Both adult and child sizes are "Form-fitting." Good to know.

In general, I find American Apparel's ads wicked creepy. The models look awfully young and, as The Onion so brilliantly parodied, often look drugged. (I'm not saying they are drugged. But that seems to be the look that the company is going for.) So the idea of the same people making children's clothing gives me the heebie-jeebies.

BUT! What do you think? Are the kiddie lamé leggings cute? Or creepy?

Image: American Apparel

Baby Toupee Creator Speaks

Teacher in Affair with 6th-Grader to Host 'Hot for Teacher' Night

Australian Kiddie Show Star Appears In Laddie Mag

Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

Japanese Potty Training Video

Baby Fashion Convention: Disturbing and Hilarious

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 28 May 2009 18:07:00 GMT

I just stumbled upon a recent Slate video which would be every bit as funny as Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, or any other mockumentary if the people in it weren’t entirely serious.

Slate headed over to L.A.’s Baby and Tween Celebration, which offers a cornucopia of costly, unnecessary, and potentially soul-destroying gear for your baby or toddler. As far as I could tell from the video, the only reason “Tween” is in the title is because the convention aims to get kids started on tweendom well before they can walk.

My favorite character—I mean, presenter—at the convention is a fashion designer who was sick of dressing her toddler in clothes that “didn’t match hers.” So she started a kids’ clothes line that would make her daughter look as “hip” as she does. Unfortunately for her daughter, this woman’s idea of hip is leopard print bell bottoms.

And don’t miss the founders of Heelarious (baby’s first high heels!) describing how the business came about—now, that’s hilarious.

Young Lady GaGa Copycats Flood YouTube

Toys 'R' Us Can't Be Serious. But They Are.

Judge Pardons Father Who Hired Prostitute for Son

Photo: New York Post

Best of FameCrawler - Week of May 22nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 22 May 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Gosselins are Good for a Gander

Katie Holmes Sets a Bad Example For Suri

Mormon Marie Osmond Supports Her Gay Daughter!

Stars Come Out For American Idol Finale: Brad Garrett and Kids Max and Hope

Barbara Walters To Interview John Edwards' Mistress Rielle Hunter!?

Bristol Palin and Son Tripp Cover People

Angelina Catches Brad and Jen Aniston Together!

Kate Gosselin Blogs Her Troubles Away

Matt Damon: Bourne to Be a Dad

Pregnant Lauren London & Lil Wayne Will Raise Baby Together!!!

Kelly Clarkson Looks Like She's Pregnant!

Caption This, Julia Roberts (or Don't)

Best of FameCrawler - Week of May 15th

Whit Honea — Fri, 15 May 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Tom Cruise Pressuring Katie For Another Baby?

Dirk Nowitzki's Fiance Arrested?

Comedian Wanda Sykes & Wife Alex Welcome Twins!

Jada Pinkett Smith a Lesbian?

Julie Bowen Welcomes Twin Boys

Mary Stuart Masterson Has Reason to Smile!

Manny Ramirez Busted!

Chyler Leigh Welcomes Daughter Anniston

Sean Penn Still Dating Natalie Portman, Robin is Pissed!

Kate Gosselin's Heartbreak: Jon & I May Separate

Look, Look, It's Another Octomom Story

Jon Gosselin Shelled Out Big Bucks To Buy Mistress Presents

Muppets Maimed in Name of Fashion

SunnyChanel — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:30:00 GMT

It’s not easy being green. Just ask this model from the Jean-Charles de Castelbajac fashion show in Paris. In his runway collection the designer opted to forgo the fur of minks, chinchilla’s and bunnies and instead used the hides of Kermit, Fozzie and Animal. Will PETA get upset the Muppets were maimed in the name of fashion? Click through to see more photos of the puppet inspired pieces.

Via : Dilisted

Winners of the Cute Contest

editors — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:32:00 GMT

In case you haven't perused the adorable entrants of the February Photo Contest: Baby Love - you're missing out on cuteness on a monumental scale. Here are the scrumptious winners -

Awwww! Never fear - if you didn't take home the big prize we've got the March Photo Contest: Sleeping Baby live now. Show us your snoozing babe and you can win a Luca Glider from Monte Design worth over $1,000! - April Peveteaux

Last Chance for Baby Love!

editors — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 14:33:00 GMT

What’s cuter? Sibling Love?

Grandma Love?

Twin Love?

We actually don’t know. But we do know we want to see more of your sweet pictures on the February Photo Contest: Baby Love on The Babble Playground. Enter today and show off your lovey kids and be entered to win the $500 gift certificate from Tea Collection children’s clothing. Contest ends today, winners announced Monday. – April Peveteaux

Dora Grows up—Stops Exploring, Starts Shopping

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:30:00 GMT

Yes, that toothpick-legged, sexy-haired silhouette to the right is the new Dora the Explorer.

According to Nickelodeon, an older, more fashionable Dora line—“featuring fashion dolls and accessories” (sold separately)—will be released in the fall and marketed to tween girls.

The new Dora will go to middle school in the big city and have a “whole new fashionable look.” The keystone of the new doll will be online play, in which kids can change Dora’s clothes and accessories—and also solve a mystery if they feel like it.

It’s no mystery why Nickelodeon would team up with Mattel to expand Dora the Explorer (cha-ching!), but did they really have to shamelessly transform Dora from a fearless outdoorswoman whose best friends are talking animals into a materialistic fashionista? Tween girls are bombarded with enough worries about clothes and appearance as it is.

Considering most children’s obsession with “big kids,” I’m worried that even three- and four-year-old lovers of Dora will be turned on to this stereotypical fashion doll, rather than following Dora and Boots on bilingual humanitarian missions in the great outdoors.

What do you think about the new Dora line--sad makeover, or a way for kids to maintain their connection with a powerful female character?

Image: businesswire.com

Also on Babble:

Liveblogging Toy Fair: Everything You Need to Know About Tween Dora

Taking Style Tips From Your Daughter

SunnyChanel — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:31:00 GMT

I don’t know about your kid, but mine has a penchant to dictate to me what I should be wearing at all times. And generally it’s something completely inappropriate, such as a party dress for a trip to the supermarket or heels and a tank top when it’s raining. In her eyes I “dress like a boy”. See, boys wear pants. Girls i.e. “princesses” wear skirts and dresses. Her fashion constraints are pretty damn concise and she tries to sell them to me with oodles of conviction. Apparently I am in good company. As reported in The Times Online piece "Should Mums Take Style Tips from Their Daughters?", Kate Winslet takes her eight-year-old daughter’s opinion of her clothing seriously. She recently stated that her “mum” wears too much black, a city dwelling sin that I am also guilty of.

The Times fashion editor, Lisa Armstrong, explored the daughter/mother clothing dilemma saying “When it comes to their mother's appearance, all daughters have views, ranging in ferocity from mildly scathing to fathomless reservoirs of scorn.” To avoid the scorn and the scathing, contributor Carol Midgley allowed her five-year-old daughter to dress her in, among other things, a salmon pink evening gown that made her looks like a “thick-waisted prawn”. Which just begs the conclusion that Armstrong came to that ,“I don't mean we should heed the stuff from five-year-olds about how they'd want us to dress like Barbie…” Yes, that is why I try never to let my own little fashionista near my closet.

If your daughter had her druthers, what would she dress you in?

Mine, a hot pink party dress with oodles of tulle (see her fantasy mommy dress above). Classy? Or maybe just Barbie.

Malia & Sasha Obama Sporting Some Recessionista Style

SunnyChanel — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:30:00 GMT

Malia and Sasha Obama aren’t just budding fashionistas, they’re pulling their very own ‘recessionista’ style. Watching the pageantry, pomp and circumstance of their dad being promoted to the most powerful job in the land, Malia and Sasha were bundled up in bold blue and pink wool coats. To accent their outfits, the girls both wore regular old $1.25 a yard satin ribbon around their waists, giving their simple coats a touch of low-cost fancy.

It’s charming and refreshing to see girls from such a privileged, powerful and high profile place making a fashion statement with something so accessible to all. Pert near all the fashion magazines in the land have recently had cover features about how to spice up your wardrobe for less using accessories, layering and other combos to make staple pieces seem different and new. Are Malia and Sasha taking a cue from these DIY tips? Perhaps, but they probably just wanted to make their own mark with their individual styles. And their styles will become increasingly watched and undoubtedly be influential on girls today and tomorrow. The peace sign heart tee Malia recently wore and the Ugly Doll that Sasha hung from her backpack are selling out left and right. Does this mean that they’ll be a run on satin ribbon?

Update: The girls wore J. Crew's kids line Crew Cuts. Although I like to think they added the ribbons themselves, it may have actually been the work of the J.Crew people. From Newsday:

"All the clothes were from crewcuts, the children's division of J.Crew and (how lucky are they?) were specially designed for the girls. According to the company, Michelle and the girls had an opportunity to choose what they liked. "We wanted to offer a collectionthat would let their own personalities show through," said Jenna Lyons, creative director of J.Crew."

Pieces of what they wore today will be available in Crew Cuts Fall 2009 collection. Regardless, ribbon is cheap. Until then, just tie some on!

Photo: Via Jezebel

They Say: Parents Who Use Forward-Facing Strollers Treat Their Kids Like “Accessories”

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The New Zealand publication Stuff has its panties all in a bunch over forward-facing strollers, seeing them as nothing more than the latest torture device for innocent youngsters everywhere.

Remember the recent study that found that babies who are walked in forward-facing strollers could be “emotionally impoverished” because they are denied facial contact with their parents, and are forced instead to familiarize themselves with, uh, the rest of the world? Well, Karl du Fresne has covered the study under the headline “Babies Paraded as Parents’ Fashion Accessories.” I’m not sure what kind of childhood this du Fresne character had, but he seems to think that parents are universally, egregiously selfish and vain, and the forward-facing stroller is just one more example of this mass parenting travesty.

Du Fresne sees it as “no surprise” that being “propelled toward a procession of bewildering, and possibly frightening, strangers” would impair children’s development. And naturally, the only possible reason he can imagine for such horrific parenting is—fashion. He feels that parents everywhere see their children as nothing more than “a fashion accessory to be shown off for maximum advantage. This is accomplished far more effectively when the unfortunate infant is facing forward.”

Take that, forward-facing stroller users! I’ll bet you force your kids to wear diapers with those cutesy animal prints on them, too, you sickos.

Photo: Little Baby Guide

They Say: Forward-Facing Strollers Are Bad for Baby

How do we love Michelle Obama? Let us count the ways!

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 23:30:00 GMT

Heather Rudolph gets us started with her top five list at Sirens Magazine Rudolph's number one reason ALL women "should" love Michelle Obama (whether they voted for her husband or not) is that Michelle is a good mother. Also on her list are: 2) She's Smarter than You 3) She's a Realistic Fashion Icon 4) She's a Feminist (frighteningly, perhaps 80% of you won't find that admirable) and finally, 5) She is a Black Woman.

Rudolph gives her own argument for each point and I am thoroughly convinced. Even more convinced am I of Michelle's feminism and smartness, having read Geraldine Brooks's blog post at The Daily Beast this morning, proclaiming Obama a stealth influencer of important public policy, hiding behind a "mere mom" facade.

If we know anything here at Strollerderby, it's that there's no such thing as a "mere"mom.

But since we've got the "she totally kicks butt in the smarts department" covered, I'll add my shallow number six: The woman knows what to wear, how to wear it, and where to find it on a budget. Be still my heart!

Why do YOU love Michelle O?

Forget Michelle Obama - Sasha and Malia Are the Fashion Icons in the Family

SunnyChanel — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:30:00 GMT

There is much being written about Michelle Obama being deemed as the second coming of Jackie O, in the realm of style icons that is. But she won’t be the only one in the first family living in the fashion fish bowl. Ten-year-old daughter Malia and seven-year-old Sasha are both already making their mark in the annals of style.

The dresses that the girls wore on election night, the stunning silk taffeta red Biscotti dress that Malia wore and adorable black party dress by Iris and Ivy that Sasha sported, have both already sold out from the companies that made them. But with a little searching you can still nab one from a couple online retailers (like Neiman Marcus and Nordstom’s for about $110). To fill the overwhelming request for Malia’s dress, the Wall Street Journal's fashion blog reported that Biscotti is going to rush to produce more units of the red number and that they will be ready in three weeks, just in time for the holidays.

Although no longer available, the company that makes the Iris & Ivy dress that Sasha wore, already has planes to retool the dress. They will release an updated version of it, naming it “the Sasha”, of course. The dress retailed for $72.

There has been a variety of criticism from the blogoshere about the cost of the dresses, some thinking that $110 and $72 is an illustration of elitist spending for a piece of clothing that the girls will soon outgrow. But seeing the price tags on countless party dresses on the market, these prices aren’t outrageous at all. If splurging on a fancy dress isn’t appropriate for when your dad is elected president, then really when is it?

Nina Garcia: Babble Exclusive!

editors — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:06:00 GMT

The Babble editors are completely addicted to Project Runway. When the "licious" guy was voted off, the next morning we made extra-strong coffee and toasted his demise. So we were pretty excited when writer Lisa Estall sent us a few answers she got out of our hero, Nina Garcia.

Garcia left Elle in August to become fashion director at Marie Claire. She lives in New York with her husband and reasonably named one-year-old son, Lucas Alexander Conrod. Her new book, published by Harper Collins, is called, The One Hundred: A Guide to the Pieces Every Stylish Woman Must Own. And here's what she told Lisa by email . . .

How do you juggle career and parenting?
Well that’s easy. He comes first. When I walk in the door and I see him, it’s like, “Okay, heels off. Converse on. Let’s play.”

When you first started being filmed on Project Runway, were you nervous being in front of the camera?
I wasn’t nervous about being in front of the camera, but I was nervous about seeing myself on camera. My husband makes me watch the show. I cringe the whole time.

What designer labels does your son wear?
The designer labels he wears are all gifts. I have some very fashionable and generous friends who have sent him Chrome Hearts Tees, Burberry pants, etc. But, me? I buy him the inexpensive stuff. I see how careless he is with his clothes, and he’ll outgrow them in two weeks. Every mom out there knows that there is nothing better than being practical.

Who are your fave designers?
I have so many favorite designers. The list would be too long. So I’ll just give you a few of the new names that I have my eye on right now: Alexandra Wang, Philip Lim, Peter Som, and Chris Benz. There are so many great emerging talents right now. The future looks quite divine, from a fashion point of view.

You can buy her book here.

Do you love her as much as we do? Tell us all about it in feedback!

Photo: BravoTV.com

What Were They Thinking - Why Parents Dress Their Kids in Tacky Outfits

SunnyChanel — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:21:00 GMT

There are parents out there that think of their children as a living breathing baby dolls. That’s the only explanation I have for people who force their screaming and kicking children into outfits they have absolutely no desire to wear or their babies who are too young to know any better. Parents exert this control while they can, they won't be able to as soon as the kids start doing things like thinking for themselves and making their own clothing decisions. Via Jezebel, the BBC News’ Denise Winterman identified some basic and common categories and explored why parents opt to inflict these wadrobe choices on their offspring.

Matching Oufits:
"It's about creating a family identity and also controlling it. Children are seen as a reflection of their parents and matching their clothes can look clean and disciplined."
Jezebel's take:
Translation: The Control Freak.
Offender: FLDS families, Captain Von Trapp, Joe Jackson, Four Cohans, The Shaggs

Dressing a Child Like Yourself:
For those who want their own little mini-me. "It's like you are saying they are a chip off the old block. The child is a blank canvas and you are projecting yourself on to them."
Jezebel’s Take:
Translation: Total narcissist.
Offender: Christmas card families, Katie Holmes, Four Cohans

Bygone Fashions:
For those who want to get all old school with bloomers, sailor suits and short pants, these parents go for tradition and it’s “about not wanting your child to grow up too quickly, not wanting their childhood to end before it should."
Jezebel's take:
Translation: Delusionals who need to get some Madame Alexander dolls, stat.
Offenders: Tasha Tudor, whoever Baby Jane's mother was.

Dressing Kids Like Grownups:
Just look at any kiddie pageant with little girls dressed up and looking eerily like convention call girls and emergence of so many high end designers making shrunk down versions of their apparel like Juicy Couture, Burberry and Dolce & Gabanna.
“It's usually about the latest fashions and coolest trends. They are turning the child into what they wanted to be, but usually didn't become."
Jezebel's take:
Translation: Narcissists with misplaced values, but who want the best (shallow) things for their kids.
Offenders: Amanda Wingfield, Mrs. Bennett, most of Hollywood.

Gender Extremes:
There are those pesky gender hue rules for babies. Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. Why can’t they all just wear gender neutrals like green or yellow instead of announcing their sex via the color of their cloths. "Parents often construct an idea of how they want their child to develop from a very early age…gender is a big part of this and dressing their child according to gender stereotypes sends out a message about they see them and how they want people to react to them.
Jezebel's take:
Translation: Latent sexism and homophobia? Or just an excess of Disney movies.
Offenders: Larry Birkhead, Cathy Hilton, Barbie and Skipper's mom.

via Jezebel

The New "Good Mother"

Kelly Mills — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:02:00 GMT

In the olden days of long, long ago, when our dinosaurs roamed the land and our mothers were having babies, there was a certain amount of pressure on moms. Mothers were supposed to raise the children with patience and a cheerful air of total domestic fulfillment. In the fantasy, the house was spotless, and a lovely dinner was served every night with a chic apron and a smile. Then came the glorious liberation of women from the home, and all of the sudden there were new pressures. Now moms were supposed to be successful in careers while maintaining close and loving relationships with their kids. Time was somehow divided efficiently between being an equal breadwinner and an involved parent, with board meetings flowing seamlessly into baking brownies for the PTA bake sale.

We pretty much know both those visions are crap, right? But that didn't stop women from feeling pressure to meet that ideal, and carrying around a sense of shame if they fell short. Well, you are in luck ladies, because nowadays there's a new kind of "good mother" and so now you have a whole other set of unrealistic expectations to try and meet!

The new perfect mom? She looks like she hasn't had babies at all. She only gains the teensiest amount of weight during pregnancy, and simply glows the entire nine months. Even in the delivery room, the new good mother looks radiant in her designer birth gown, posing for pictures that could grace Us magazine or be suitable for a classy birth announcement. Once the baby is born, she immediately drops all the weight she gained, without earning a single stretch mark or stomach wrinkle. You'd never know she had a baby, except for the fact that she now has gigantic boobs spilling out of her stylish dress.

Naturally a big part of the new mom pressure springs from the celebrity baby boom, when famous and genetically blessed women with access to nannies and plastic surgeons have their photos plastered everywhere, featured in lovely gowns and heels along with the news that they gave birth only seconds ago. And in other ways, I think this new mom was created by the whole "hot mom" phenomenon, where mothers railed against the idea that having children meant they became frumpy and sexless. But as is the way with so many trends manipulated by people who want to sell you stuff to make you a better you, this one turned around and became an expectation rather than an escape.

As a personal trainer, I see women who are three weeks postpartum and who are desparate to lose the baby weight. I totally applaud anyone who wants to get back in shape, but I can't help but feel for some of these mothers, who clearly believe they let themselves go during that whole pregnancy thing. When I was three weeks postpartum I would have been happy to find my car keys, let alone embark on a new fitness regime.

Truth is it doesn't matter how awesome you look in your post-birth hospital photos because no one really cares. You don't have to abandon the notion of being hot and fit and outfitted stylishly, but you also don't have to be that way 24-7, especially when you have a baby or two. But you all know this, right? Now, if we could only believe it too...

The bra for your butt

Brett Singer — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Remember the manzier aka "The Bro" from Seinfeld? That was a joke. But the Brum, a bra for the female heiny, is real.

Yahoo! Shine covers (no pun intended) this latest trend in undergarments. As Jennifer Romolini puts it, "Butt is the new boobs. In fact, the hottest look in lingerie is actually something let's call butt cleavage and the best way to show off your butt cleavage is with a Brum."

BlackBook magazine offers further insight: "Anal cleavage has gained popularity this century with the rise of low-cut jeans (or should I say descent), the emergence of the whale tale, and most recently, posterior-revealing lingerie."

One of the two times I've been lucky enough to fly first class (frequent flier miles people – save them) I shared the flight with Victoria's Secret uber-model Adriana Lima. When we arrived in New York, Lima stood up and pulled her jeans down so that they revealed a little bit of what, on a fat guy, would be called Plumber Butt. On her, it was, well, something else. As far as I can recall she wasn't wearing ass-enhancing undies, but this was a few years ago so who knows. (And before someone says, "why were you looking at her butt?" it was first class, it was a small cabin, and she looked at me first! OK, no she didn't.) The point of the story is that there are indeed women who like to show off a little of what they've got going on back there (especially in New York, I guess), but is there a need for a specific piece of clothing to help them do it? I always thought that the thong was the preferred garment for showing your nether-cheeks. In fact, the Brum seems to cover more rear acreage than the traditional thong, although that could be in order to push out certain areas.

One commenter on Shine says that this is no different from the Miracle Bra, but to my male eyes it seems a little different. This also isn't the first product to act as a tush-pusher; Shine also covered Booty Pop panties, which are designed to make your booty POP(!).

So. IS this any different from a Miracle Bra? And would you wear a Brum?

image: BlackBook via Shine

Ohh, Baby - Orgasmic Birth Video

The Bro from Seinfeld (Daddytips.com)

Attack of the Strippers

Mrs. And Mrs. DeGeneres, and a male perspective on the name game

They Say: Incest Is Best?

Childfree and B*tchy. Why Yes You Are

Best of FameCrawler: Week of June 27th

Whit Honea — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Billie Piper's Topless Role

The Sexualization of Miley Cyrus

Ben And Jen Together For Better Or Worse

Worst-Dressed Bellies? Top 5 Maternity Wear Mistakes Of Spring/Summer 2008

Tim McGraw and the Wife Beaters

Scott Kalitta Killed In Drag Racing Crash

Robert Downey, Jr., and Son: What's Wrong with This Picture?

Matthew McConaughey Is Ready To Rumble

Guess Who's Moving Across The Pond?

Jamie Lynn's Delivery Room Drama!

Tori Spelling Baby Photos!!

High heels for newborns

Brett Singer — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 21:00:00 GMT

No. Really. That's what this is.

Is this how you end up with a Britney Spears? Start 'em off young?

They're from a company called Heelarious. They are, "extremely funny, completely soft, fully functional high heel crib shoes for babies." Despite being "fully functional" the shoes are "not intended for walking (heel will collapse with weight). Not intended to harm children in any way." Well, not physically, anyway.

Favorite comment (among many): Oh thank god! I was thinking my 4-week-old niece's legs were looking a little chubby…

Can we do better? I know we can.

Via Jezebel.

image: Heelarious

Miley Cyrus Dating 22-Year-old: Isn't That Illegal?

Jamie Lynn To Mom - You Love Britney More!

RetroFitted: Glamour Gals Were, Like, Way Better Than Bratz

10 Ways You're a Great Parent (add to the list, "you don't dress your infant in high heels)

Dear Women's Fashion, Beauty, and Health Magazines,

Kelly Mills — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 21:29:00 GMT

In honor of Women's History month and my six-year-old daughter, I would like to cancel all my subscriptions. Like the magazine you send me in place of Jane magazine, which while it was not perfect, was the only women's magazine I really liked. Now, I know you aren't written for six-year-olds, but see, my kid and I wanted to make a collage, so we pulled you out and I watched my kid flip through your pages. Because I try and talk about stuff with her instead of forbidding things, I cringed as she leafed through page after page of beauty tips and diet tips and skinny, mainly white teens cavorting with poor locals in exotic places, and commented on how silly this and that was.

But while she giggled at my wry commentary and agreed with me, I also saw her eyes light up a little at the sight of women prettied up like the princesses she gets fed at every turn. And she asked me, "What does this mean about 'Angie' and 'girl crushes'?" I told her Angelina Jolie is just famous for being an actress and being pretty, and then I felt sad that I know so much about Angie. I mean, it may be every man and woman's dream to sleep with Brad Pitt, but I know more about her than I do most of the suffragettes.

As she stared at photo after photo, I saw again that your pages are devoted primarily to how I can improve my appearance, with occasional forays into what men really want and what they like and hate about me. I mean, of course I totally knew that, but even as jaded as I am, it hit me in a new way when I was glancing over my child's shoulder. I like fashion and I like to look nice, but I don't really passionately care if leggings are still hot or if a plus-sized woman should wear a boxy jacket. And of course, "normal" bodies are only featured in "figure fix" sections--again, not a newsflash, but I think I'd prefer if my kid didn't worry about what to fix in her looks because you know she's absolutely perfect the way she is, and I imagine to me, she always will be.

So thanks, and even I'm surprised by how much you got to me. I don't think everything is all your fault, but you do cater to what we already eat up, and I'm full. I may still have to read you to snark about this and that because it is my job, but I'd prefer you stayed out of my house. We'll make our collage out of something else. If my child wants to "fix" something maybe we can discuss trying your best and character and integrity and shit like that, and not worry about whether men find aggressive women attractive. Then we'll leave the house with last year's lip color (on me) and enjoy the nice weather and talk about Gertrude Stein or something.

Preschool Bans Cute Clothes

Madeline Holler — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:20:00 GMT

So you think life in a peanut-free school zone is tough? Try sending your 3-year-old to a school that requires bland clothing.

At a pre-school in Koskullskulle, Sweden, children are prohibited from wearing stripes or polka dots. Fashion police going too far? Not quite.

One of the teachers gets migraines looking at the bold patterns. And officials are left with creating a dress code that will keep him/her headache free.

Some of the parents are pissed, which I'm rather glad to read. I figured the Swedes would fall in line, look at the big picture, take one for the team, maybe even levy an extra tax on themselves in honor of the teacher's unpredictable brain condition. No, some of the parents don't like the fact that their kids come home in school-issued, solid-colored shirts and pants, even though they donned a vibrant, colorful, wildly patterned Hanna Anderson dress with not-so-matching tights that morning.

Photo: HannaAnderson.com

Check Out the Rack on This 10-year Old

Adrienne Martini — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 21:00:00 GMT

This Jezebel post about the PSAs for the Family Violence Partnership in Milwaukee has been in my to-do queue for a couple of days now. I keep clicking on the link, looking at the posters, blinking, then wandering off to do something that doesn't make my head ache.

What I can't figure out -- and if you can offer some insight, I'd appreciate it -- is who these ads are pitched to. Your average pedophile gets off on young girls looking like girls. The boobs scare them, if research accurate. So the campaign can't be for them. Besides, most pedophiles are aware that they are doing something wrong, right?

So let's narrow it down -- who looks at pre-pubescent girls and sees a sex object? Slightly post-pubescent boys are near the top of the list -- but that hardly seems fair. Most pubescent boys see just about anything as a sex object. And most manage to not act on their impulses.

So are large institutions the target for the campaign? The fashion industry? Professional gymnastics? Child beauty pageants? Advertising itself?

No, it all seems too meta. Is this just a crappy PSA? Or is there something else going on that I can't see?

Breaking News: Guess What JLo Is Wearing For Her Delivery?

Kelly Mills — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:11:00 GMT

Oh, sometimes Christmas comes early at the Derby. Just when I was pondering the big questions of the day like, who will be our next president, and how can we deal with global warming, I got the answer to one burning issue that has been on my mind constantly since around October. In my inbox was a bright shiny press release, with the subject line "What J.Lo Will Wear To Deliver- confirmed" and the bold opening sentence (emphasis theirs), "We have info on what Jennifer Lopez is wearing in the delivery room when she delivers her twins." Oh, THANK GOD, I can finally sleep at night!

And what will the star outfit herself in while she's cursing her husband and throwing cups of ice chips at the nurses? Why, a (I shit you not) "designer hospital gown" from dearjohnnies. Actually, the PR folks seem to think she'll be wearing two: the "Ellie" blue one and the "Lucy" pink one. Like, halfway through her labor she'll be doing a costume change and returning for the second half of her dilation in something fresh for the big finale. No, the designers suggest you get one for the birthin' and one for the following day, at $65 a pop. Because as they say, "Having a baby is an extraordinary experience and moms deserve to wear something better than an ordinary hospital gown." Yeah, why settle for a regular person's hospital garb when you should have the very best? Oh, and (be still my beating heart) you can get them monogrammed!

All I can say is, Roberto Cavalli is going to be sooooo pissed. As you know, it's a very big deal to dress a star for her walk down the faded blue linoleum, and I just have to wonder if Ms. Lopez passed over Cavalli as punishment for outfitting her in this Grecian-Big Bird thing for her tour.

Oh, and I love this: "Designed with your comfort in mind, dearjohnnies can be worn during labor, in the days following your recovery and at home during the weeks to follow. Hospital staff will appreciate that you're still wearing a hospital gown. And you'll appreciate the soft fabric and loose fitting design as your body takes on the challenge of childbirth and then mends."

Right. Why, I'm sure when I'm at home mending I'll totally want to throw that placenta- and poop-covered hospital gown in the wash, and then don it while I come back from the challenge of childbirth. I mean, it's good enough for JLo.

Look, I've been up front about my feelings on delivery wear before, and how it's part of the commodification of the birth experience, and how freaking idiotic it is that women should worry about what they wear and how they look even while they are pushing a baby out of their hoo hoos or prepping for the c-section. But when you tack on the celebrity factor, well, all I can say is: Fuck. Me.

Strollerderby Playdate: Purse Lust

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 16:01:00 GMT

If this was really a playdate -- complete with decaf coffee, cheese and crackers, juice boxes and big gallons of hard liquor -- I admit that about four minutes in, I would be so over talking about the election, done catching up on night-time dryness and ready to stop talking about whether or not small animals pee in the playground sandpit in the winter. I can assure you that today, I will want to move on to the things that really matter for mommies on the go. Yes, friends, it's time to add a couple of extra glugs of half and half to the coffee and talk handbags.

No no no, I don't want to know what's in your bag. I don't care how much you paid for it (unless it was a hella good eBay sweep). It doesn't even matter if it only holds loose fishy crackers and a Costco of baby wipes. What does matter is how much you love the pretty purse your toting around to Pilates, Target, or just from room to room during boring afternoons with the kids.

Here are a few beauties I'm bringing to the table today. Tell tell tell...what do you think? What purse is the object of your desire these days?

The perfect little brunch bag.

Sweet little wristlet for a saucy night out on the town.

Preppy-pretty tote to carry all your sorority girl tendencies.

A totally non-controversial way to sassy-up your preschool Mommy of the Day outfit.

Adding a little funk to your functional purse.

A little bit of vintage-inspired love that (awwwww...) you can't squeeze a sippy cup into, not even if you try.