Should Raising a Feminist Son be The Goal?

Amy Kuras — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:00:00 GMT

If you have a son – and aren’t a raving douchebag yourself – then thinking about how to raise a boy without him being one is something you have been thinking about since you first heard the words "it's a boy."

It seems like there is a lot of information out there about raising strong, independent, feminist girls, but very little about raising boys to respect women, discourage dehumanizing attitudes among their friends and generally be guys who see women as equal to themselves and deserving of the same rights and opportunities (including the right to not be harassed walking down the street, commented on and otherwise judged).

So this post by Annabel about raising a feminist son on Feministing was thought provoking. The comments were interesting as well, with several people saying that trying to encourage her son's sensitivity will get him chewed up and spit out as he gets older, as will allowing him to indulge his love of pink.

I agree with one commenter, though, who said the best thing she can do is talk to him about how to handle it if he does get mocked for wearing a pink sweater to school for example – to give him strategies for feeling different and encourage his self-esteem and self-acceptance.

And I think almost all of the commenters missed the role of fathers here. While I wouldn’t consider my husband a "feminist" man exactly, he respects and values my independence, plays physically with our girl as much as he does with our boy at each age, and just as importantly, shows our son as much affection. You can't raise your children (of any gender) exactly the same, of course, but he comes close.

In many ways, I think that modeling of how not to be a douche, of seeing boys get treated the same way as girls, of responding to your child as an individual versus a gender, is the most important factor in raising compassionate kids. Which I would say is art and parcel of feminism, and more important than "feminism" per se.

Wal-Mart Removes Sleezy Holiday Panties For Girls...Errrr...

Kelly Mills — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 13:21:00 GMT

Moving quickly past that headline, let's get into the ick story: Wal-Mart was selling some hot pink underwear in the juniors section. On the crotch it said, "Who needs credit cards" and on the ass, it finished with "When you have Santa". Perfect for our young girls, right? While the message is gross on a number of levels, we'll go with the most obvious: the conflation of young girl parts as a money-maker, and the presentation of Santa in a way that is far creepier than anything I could create on a personalized video message. Sugar daddy Santa Claus for our young ladies. Well, deck the halls.

So what happened? Feministing posted about them, letters were written, and Wal-Mart took them off the shelves. How much do we love the power of the blog to make things happen? Super duper kudos to Feministing--the post had this great line: "There's nothing quite like telling adolescent girls that they don't need to worry about finances since they have their very own moneypot between their legs." So score one for folks who would prefer preteen girls not measure their worth and security by what they have in their underwear.

Strollerderby : feministing

Should Raising a Feminist Son be The Goal?

Wal-Mart Removes Sleezy Holiday Panties For Girls...Errrr...