Strollerderby : fighting

Texas School Accused Of Student Cage Fighting

Brett Singer — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Next time you have complaints about your children's school, remember this story. Because things could be worse.

According to a report obtained by the Dallas Morning News, school officials at South Oak Cliff High in Texas (ironically known as "SOC", pronounced "sock", as in "sock it to me") had students settle their differences by fighting. In a cage. This did not happen last Tuesday. It happened back in 2003 and continued until 2005. And no one did anything about it.

Listen to this quote:

"Superintendent Michael Hinojosa told the newspaper that there were 'some things that happened inside of a cage' and called the fights 'unacceptable.'"

See, the only thing that should be happening "inside of a cage" at school is a hamster being fed. Maybe a little jog on the ol' exercise wheel. The hamster, I mean. Perhaps a bunny. I'm thinking cages at schools are for class pets. Students generally should not be doing ANYHTING in a cage. Especially at school.

In a blog entry at The Dallas Morning News web site, Kent Fischer digs up a few facts about former SOC principal Donald Moten. Moten allegedly "not only allowed [the fights] to take place, but that he egged on the participants." Hey, at least he wasn't just picking up a paycheck, right? Fischer points out that Moten's other "accomplishments" at SOC include "An athletic grade changing scandal, times two," "Allegations of credit card abuse," "Allegations of inappropriate sexual relations with students' mothers." Oh, and of course -- "Cage fights." The piece questions why Moten was even hired for the $92,000 a year job in the first place, since his employment history includes a stint as a police officer where he faked his own kidnapping.

When I was a student at a New York City Public School, people would always ask me how horrible it must have been. Sure, there were problems. But we never had anything like this. Well, as far as I know.

Source: Yahoo! News

Image: SXC (stock photo)

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Fictional Fighting With Five-Year Olds

Brett Singer — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 22:00:00 GMT

This dopey web quiz provides a few seconds of mirth with minimal effort.

The site, created by Matthew Inman for the dating service Mingle2, asks you a series of questions, such as, "Which best describes your sense of balance: 1) I'm not very balanced, I sometimes have trouble standing on one foot or staying upright on a snowboard or exercise ball…", "Do you have any experience fighting swarms, such as being chased by a bunch of pissed-off bees or playing starcraft against the Zerg?" and " Have you ever been trampled? (by a horse, at a rock concert, etc)"

The third page of the quiz is vaguely thought provoking. "How would you feel about the fact that you're fighting a bunch of kids?" "During the fight, would you feel morally comfortable picking up a child and using him/her as a weapon to throw at other children?" Presumably the number of kids required to take you down will increase if you answer "To hell with morality, I'd be too busy pile-driving, crane-kicking, and bare-knuckle bashing them all the way back to kintergarten [sic]" as opposed to "This is so wrong - these are children for pete's sake. I don't think I could fight them, even in self defense."

After you answer everything to the best of your ability, you are presented with a number. That number is How Many Five Year Olds Could Take You In A Fight. My number was 15:

By the way, don't feel like you have to join Mingle2 to get your result. It looks that way, but if you look at the smaller text just below the big "JOIN NOW" banner, you'll see that you can click there and just find out how strong/wimpy you are without actually re-entering the dating pool.

So what's your number?

Source: howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com

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Pregnant Woman Arrested For Fighting At Chuck E. Cheese

Brett Singer — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:00:00 GMT

The Chuck E. Cheese in Susquehanna Township Pennsylvania was the scene of a violent altercation last week between five women and a minor, all of whom were arrested. One of the women involved was pregnant. A video of the fight was posted to YouTube but has been removed.

WGAL says that this is the 12th time this particular Chuck E. Cheese has had to call the police to calm everybody down.

Growing up in New York City, we didn't have Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't miss it because, well, the pizza sucks. But clearly those places are dangerous.

PennLive.com says that the incident continues what "police describe as a disturbing and bizarre crime trend: escalating violence among adults at a place designed for children's birthday parties."

Twelve calls to police in one year does seem like a lot. But I don’t know if I'd call it a "trend", since all of those problems were at the same place. The Susquehanna Cheesery has hired a police officer to be on site every Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully that will get the adults to behave themselves.

I've seen bad parental behavior, but nothing quite like what these articles describe. Anyone seen grown-ups behaving badly at kiddie establishments recently? Is this a trend?

Source: WGAL, WGAL again, and PennLive.com

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Family Really Does Warp Your Brain

KeriF — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:35:00 GMT

Family driving you crazy? Blame it on your brain.

When we look at our family, we're looking at versions of ourselves, according to a new study. We process our relatives through a self-referential part of the brain that has no patience for our own flaws, especially in other people. So when you're pissed off because your sister is being passive aggressive and sulking because you ordered the wrong kind of pizza even though she said she didn't really care that much and you tried to order something you thought she'd like, it's really because you're passive aggressive yourself and can't stand seeing it in people that resemble you.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

When we look at friends or strangers, on the other hand, we process them in a different part of the brain, so we may be more tolerant of certain behaviors.

Researchers looked at MRI brain scans on people viewing relatives, friends, strangers, and themselves, to identify which parts of the brain are used to process each type of person. When subjects looked at pictures of biological relatives and themselves, the same part of the brain was active. So we tend to judge our relatives with the same harshness we use upon ourselves.

Which is why family reunions are so… fun.

Three-Year-Old Captures Essence of Familial Relationships

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:06:00 GMT

This video was just the comedic relief I needed at the end of hectic holidays travels punctuated by highly concentrated family time. It's not brand new, but it's worth resuscitating.

You may think this three year-old is being inexcusably mean to his mom by telling her he only likes her when she gives him cookies, but as he keeps explaining his feelings about his mother, you realize he's just being refreshingly frank about the nature of family relationships.

Photo: simpsoncrazy.com

Childcare Relationships and Bickering Parents Affect Kids' Stress Hormones

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:30:00 GMT

It seems self-evident that kids with poor childcare relationships or parents who frequently fight are more stressed than other kids. But now two new studies have established this common sense theory from a biological standpoint, by monitoring the levels of cortisol (the human stress hormone) in preschoolers and 6-year-olds. As parents across the country struggle to afford high quality childcare and to maintain a stable home environment, these studies are unfortunately quite applicable to these trying economic times.

In most people, cortisol levels decrease throughout the day. But for many children in full-time daycare, the stress hormone increases as the day progresses. Researchers found that class size clearly affected children’s moods, with preschoolers in classes of 10 or fewer children producing less cortisol than those in classrooms with closer to 20 other kids.

Children with poor relationships with their daycare providers became more stressed after one-on-one interactions with the teacher, while clingier kids had higher overall cortisol increases throughout the day.

Similarly, a study of 6-year-olds with bickering parents found that those who were very involved in and distressed about the fights produced more cortisol than other 6-year-olds. Since high levels of cortisol have been linked to health and psychological problems, this finding offers a biological understanding of why kids who get very upset by their parents’ arguments are more likely to have psychological problems later. (Whether higher levels of cortisol are a cause or an effect of psychological disorders is not clear.)

The study’s authors hope that understanding the biological basis of stress in young children will change the way kids in these common problematic situations are treated. For instance, monitoring kids’ levels of cortisol could help indicate whether a given intervention is working to relieve stress or not.

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Photo: pregnancy-depression-help.com

Do You Tell Your Kids to Fight Back?

JeanneSager — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 15:31:00 GMT

First rule of fight club, don't drive your 12-year-old to a scheduled throw down. Second rule of fight club, don't jump in and slap the other brat for messing with your kid. A California mom is facing jail time for backing up her tween in a girl fight - and breaking both rules.

Obviously she stepped over the line somewhere, but where?

Shawnah Foster's daughter wouldn't have been attacked if her mother hadn't driven her to the park, where she knew the girls would spar. I'd hardly call it self defense. And a grown woman jumping in to fight a 12-year-old? Come on.

But even parents who won't lift their hand against their own kids are often unafraid to tell their kids to defend themselves - even if that means physically - when attacked by another kid. So where do you draw the line? Do you tell your kids to put their dukes up when self defense is on the line?

Image: University of Colorado

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A Nation of Wimps: In Defense of Fighting

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:08:00 GMT

I've been thinking a lot recently about beating up children. No, not me personally. But children. Children beating up children. Or at the very least shoving each other really well. And all sanctioned under the blessing of their parents.

The thing that got me going on this violence kick was the speech last week given by Vice President-to-be Joe Biden, who recalled the time he got a black-eye from a neighborhood bully. He went crying home only to be sent back out by his mother, a steely old soul who told him to bloody the other kid's nose or risk never being able to walk those sidewalks with his head held high again. Nowadays, a parent might have told him: "Oh Joey, just go out there and tell them "no thank you." "

Then I read a very intriguing post by my friend and SD alum Pierre "Metro Dad" Kim, who taught his daughter to defend herself against being pushed or bullied. First, he said, tell the bully you don't like it. Then, if that doesn't work: Push back.

The mother looks at me with shock and yells at me, "how can you tell your daughter to push my child?"

I calmly reply, "My daughter very politely asked your son to stop pushing her. You yourself told him to stop pushing her. And what does your son do? Not only does he push her again but he also hit her. Do you think your way was working?"

At this point, I turn to the boy and say, "Are you ever going to push the Peanut again?"

Still choking back tears and clinging to his mother, he says "No. Never."

I'm reminded of the time I got in a fight with a neighbor boy. We were picking olives from a tree and throwing them at each other. For reasons beyond comprehension, this escalated into a fight. Who knew? After 10 minutes of rolling around on the ground, I went crying home only to have my older brothers give me a glass of water and send me back outside. My parents weren't around that day but the message was clear: Fight back. It was my only fight. I never pushed people or fought people or became a tyrannical bully. I'm a stay-at-home dad now who enjoys listening to musicals and making clothes for my daughter. I'm the wimpiest dude you'll ever meet. If anything, I feel scarred for not fighting back more often as I got older, instead of retreating like some wimpy scamp straight out of a Philip Larkin poem.

So I'm only a little surprised at how much I'm siding with the fight-back mentality. Like Pierre, I'm teaching my daughter to first make her demands known verbally if under assault. If that doesn't work, well, I admit I have watched in silence as she held on tightly to a toy and whirled her body around until an interloper fell crying to the ground. I've never officially said, "Push back!" but my silence and inaction is just as explicit. But what am I supposed to do? Intervene at every moment? Kids work shit out on their own sometimes, even if sometimes that means a touch of violence.

Parents fear escalation. Condone a shove here, a punch there, and pretty soon the kid will be sticking up liquor stores or breaking bones for Tony Gazzo in between bouts with Apollo Creed. Or worse, starting wars. But how about the flip side? Teach them to turn the other cheek Jesus-like all the time, and the fear is they'll get walked on all their lives. Kids don't think that far ahead. They make up and hold hands five minutes afterward. Are parents worrying too much? As Pierre wonders Are we raising a nation of pussies?

5 Parenting Hacks You Might Be Embarrassed to Admit You Use

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:16:00 GMT

Certain kinds of parents (ok, people like me) like to show off our successes and humorously and cleverly downplay our conundrums or heartaches. We chortle over school success, toddlers completing chores, and light but troubling sibling rivalry.

A magazine like Babble is a breath of fresh air because it provides an outlet to unconventional (sometimes controversial) approaches to parenting that many of us might be afraid to admit to others (without the relative safety of an alias or anonymous login).

Here are a few that may be embarrassing, but that definitely work:

1. Sleep - that elusive but ever important brick in the foundation of happy childhood. I know a family that has tried everything: Pediacare Nightrest, threats, cajoling, regular routines, even melatonin. But the only thing that works is the Bedtime Guardian. A parent sits in the room until the children sleep. How the mighty have fallen!!

2. Food - Yes they can eat nuggets, but sometimes there's nothing like bribing them with sugary treats to get that broccoli (or sushi or anything remotely adult-like) down. On the other hand, I've been known to buy Winnie-the-Pooh shaped pasta just to get my toddler to eat anything.

3. Fights - Sibling rivalry isn't all fun and games. When the kids brandish weapons (plastic Dora as head-smasher), it's time to call in the big guns. When time outs fail, taking away priviledges seems unkind, but usually works. For example, stop hitting or you won't be able to watch tv/go to grandma's for a week.

4. Television - Too much is bad, clearly, but sometimes it is the only way the little buggers can be quieted to let the adults finish a sentence (especially ones that begin, "You look hot today")

5. Threat of spanking - I've never spanked my kids, but I've used it as a last ditch threat, usually in a high pitched untempered angry voice. And it's not my finest moment as a mother, but it works.

[Photo Credit: www.birthoftv.org]

Dispatch from the Parent Wars: Who is Right?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 00:05:00 GMT

Take a look at this picture. Slim lines, sweaty and taut, probably post-coital. Perhaps Mom and Dad after fighting about who needs to pick up Billy from daycare?

Likely not... Everyone knows the only people fighting about parenting philosophies are mommies. Not parents (and certainly not parents who look like this). Mommy Wars imply that the only people clashing about raising chilluns are women, when in fact the real war is between parents.

Couples, now that all bets are off about the person raising the children being free from responsibility for bringing home the bacon, have a lot more to fight about these days. And it's more than whether dads are 'nice' for taking care of their kids (or even better, whether they "babysit" their kids).

It goes to the facts about childrearing (rewarding, tiring, time-consuming, life-enriching) and the truth about raising children (especially more than one) as a couple -- It's plain hard work. There is more than enough of everything but time and rest to go around.

So all this bickering among women that supposedly underscores the Mommy Wars is only a small piece of the real problem. The war between parents who are overtaxed and under-appreciated. And that goes for moms as well as dads.

Ways You're Probably Not Wrecking Your Marriage

Amy Kuras — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 23:07:00 GMT

If you're married, you've heard this one: "Don't go to bed mad at your spouse."

Were that in fact true, both of us would have had to remain sleepless for the entire month of October 2007 (the month of the Kitchen Project From Hell). Luckily, turns out it's not.

The article talks to marriage experts about the biggest myths out there about marriage and parenting. The whole "Don't go bed mad" thing? It turns out that if you are both tired (and perhaps are ready to stab each other with a spackling knife) and there's no resolution in sight, it's actually wiser to go to bed, even in different rooms, than to keep fighting on. A decent night's sleep and some time away from each other, and you can see the problem with fresh eyes.

Two other myths that are of interest: "Having a baby brings you closer" (does anyone actually believe that one? If so, you must tolerate pregnancy and the first few months of new parenthood better than anyone I've ever met) and "Don’t fight in front of the kids." Calling your spouse unkind names in front of your kids isn’t a good idea, nor is having a screamfest, but airing disagreements in a fairly calm manner actually models to kids that you can work through conflict with someone you love without damaging the relationship.

Another great one? It's okay to take your spouse for granted. It's actually a sign that you've developed a high level of trust. Appreciation is important, but it's okay to take it for given that one person always gets dinner on the table or the other person lets you sleep late on Saturdays.

And guess what else? More sex, especially when you're parenting and rarely get alone time, is always a good idea.Whoo!

Photo: cnn.com

Married Ladies: Speak Up Or Die Young

Kelly Mills — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:34:00 GMT

The next time your husband gives you a hard time for complaining or fighting, tell him: "I'm saving my life, jerk. Gawd, you are so selfish!" A study of married couples found that women who stay silent during marital tiffs are more likely to die from heart disease and other badness than women who let it all hang out. Interestingly, men had the same life expectancy whether or not they spoke up. Yep, science is telling us that husbands should keep their yaps shut while the ladies rail. I knew it.

While they say marriage is good for the health and life expectancy of folks, it turns out that a crappy marriage might kill you quicker, and not just in the slow, painful death of your soul. A few studies have found that bad marriages may increase the risks of heart attacks and can make healing take longer. One researcher even says the pronouns used--"we" versus "I"--can indicate the course of a partner's heart disease, especially for women. "For women with heart disease, repeatedly using the words 'I' or 'me,' he said, 'is like the kiss of death.'" Right now we are thinking we'd better start being nicer to our husband--oh, but not in a keep-it-all-in kinda way.

Here's another one: "When asked what they fought over, men said sex, and women cited money, children and chores. Men were more likely than women to report their marriages were happy and that their spouses loved them." Who is right? Well, the short answer I give my partner is "I'm always right. Always." I believe that is the recipe for marital happiness. Now if I could just get the hubs on board...

Who's Afraid of the Mommy Wars?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 15:49:00 GMT

Had enough of the mommy wars? Despite the fact that many of us claim to be all done with the slings and arrows, there is no way around the fact that motherhood is incendiary. Newsweek's article "Enough with the Mommy Wars" is case in point.

Mojo Mom takes author Kathleen Deveny to task for neglecting the deeper issues and sticking to the shallow end of mom-theory typified by mommy lit lite. Expecting Executive demands an apology and encourages Newsweek to turn to better sources for the real story on motherhood, including BlogHer. Last week, Kelly wondered if we've become narcissist mommies.

But really, what is the big deal? Ms. Deveny commits heresy by claiming she's bored to death of the mommy wars and the snobbiness on message boards ( the Internet makes mommy mean) as well as the tiresome taxonomy of motherhood represented by mom lit (rocker mamas, MILFs, momzillas, slummy mummies...). I say go ahead and be bored and oversimplify as much as you like. Write about how dull it all is in Times, Newsweek and the New York Times. You're missing the point.

That the Mommy Wars exist primarily online and in print doesn't mean they aren't real. They provide a safer (and less confrontational) outlet for people to yell about childrearing. Just take a look over at the comments generated on Babble by the hospital formula ban and one easily sees what all the fuss is about.

These debates serve a real useful purpose. They help us parent better. They help us articulate and define our positions. They help us understand different approaches and viewpoints more effectively. And yes, they are also silly and catty and petty. But the Mommy Wars are also empowering and enlightening. And that is why I hope they continue for a long long time.

Park Bench Parents Not Popular

Kelly Mills — Sun, 06 May 2007 17:29:00 GMT

Motherhood Uncensored (love the condoms) has a nice rant about those rowdy kids who smack your child and take away their toy while the parents look on benignly. It's a very self-aware send-up, and she has much more rancor for the parents who sit back and mumble, "Now, now, don't hit" than the actual bruisers themselves. These park bench parents practice only the most ineffectual forms of discipline, and she's is tired of it.

I know the frustration of watching some aggressive child try a WWF-style smackdown on my child over a dump truck at the park, so I'm completely sympathetic to this. But can I just take a moment to vent about another side of this issue? I'm mom to a very guileless and sometimes bossy child with a big personality. She is quick to respond, and usually does so at a fairly high volume. And I've watched a few kids practice the fine art of psychological warfare on her, and it pisses me off.

Some children figure out at a very early age the power of words, and what gets adult attention and what doesn't. I've observed children start to needle my child, knowing that they can get a reaction out of her. Stuff like, "I like so-and-so better than I like you" and "you don't ever get a turn" delivered in a low voice with a smile. Then when the parents rush over to see what the commotion is all about, the child looks up innocently "I just said it wasn't her turn yet" while my kid howls and looks like the crazy one. Those children don't have to use fists to fight, and they get off scot-free most of the time. I know that it's normal to experiment with power, just like it's normal to go through a biting or hitting phase. But I wish some parents were more attuned to the fact that aggression takes many forms, and just because my child yells doesn't mean she's a terror on wheels. She's responding the way we all might want to when someone taunts or intentionally hurts us. I'm sick of having to explain to my child that when another kid is behaving in an evil way, she should be honest and use her strong words to say, "Stop, I don't like it when you say that." Yeah yeah, life skills and so on, but the unfairness of how the sneaky kids just escape parental notice is really awful. I'm tempted to growl at the the little sociopaths myself.

Phew. Now I feel a little better too.

Effects of Fighting on Children: Not Good

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 15:05:00 GMT

Argue in front of your kids? You are a bad bad person. Well, actually, you're human. And you suck. But really, some of the fighting (or "rowing" as the Brits say) might be helpful from the "this is how real people live, Junior" department, only if you don't get out of hand. Chair-throwing anyone?

A study in Wales finds that children often blame themselves for parental fighting and as a result kids frequently experience failing grades and exhibit other stress indicators when they are unsure about causes of parental conflict. Not surprisingly, the less parents communicate effectively with one another and their children, the higher the kids' anxiety.

Lesson learned. If you want your child to do well in school, at least have the decency to shut the bedroom door before you get your yell on.

Gas To Drive Son To Fight: $8. Cheering As Son Beats On Younger Kid: Priceless

Alisyn — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 14:18:00 GMT

Renee Honnold of Folsom, CA, must've been campaigning hard for the Mom of the Year Award when she chauffered her son to school, played cheerleader as he beat on a smaller kid, and attempted to take down anyone who tried to stop the fight. Way to go, Mom!

A student caught the whole altercation on video, and cop on the scene Kurt Knudsen said "I [had] never seen anything like this... you can hear her on the tape shouting, 'Hit him! Hit him!' The kid [was] throwing serious punches." A witness parked in a nearby car attempted to help the boy Honnold's son was pinning down and whaling on, but told police that "[Honnold] told me to mind my own business. She was out of control..."

Renee was arrested Thursday on suspicion of two felonies, endangering the life or health of a child and criminal conspiracy, as well as contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanor. Her son was cited for suspicion of misdemeanor battery. Both boys involved in the fight were suspended for 5 days, and Renee lost the Mom of the Year Award to Britney Spears. (Better watch your back, Brit...)

Moms, Daughters Arrested For Brawling At School

Alisyn — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:30:00 GMT

Am I flattering myself in assuming that two moms from Rhode Island took my advice too literally?

Ana Rivera, 44, and Maribel Santiago, 34, were arrested Monday, after being found engaged in a brawl with their teenage daughters, who were well known rivals. Rivera allegedly drove her daughter - who was supposed to be home on suspension - to school specifically to fight Santiago's daughter. Santiago claims was on her way to pick her daughter up due to recent threats, and jumped into the fray in defense of her daughter. Both moms were booked on assault charges, with the girls being booked on disorderly conduct charges. Rivera's case is being reviewed by the state's Department of Children, Youth and Families.

I can totally understand a mother's need to physically defend her daughter - but this? This sounds insane. I can hardly imagine the circumstances that would lead to two mothers being involved in a full-on, G.L.O.W.-style girl fight, handing out beat-downs on school property, side by side with their kids.

If I think about it too much, it makes my heart hurt.