Strollerderby : free time

They Say: Boys Read if Dad Does

JeanneSager — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Does your son like to read? Congratulations, Dad, you're doing your job.

A new study out of Australia says boys in two-parents households are more likely to read if their father does. If Mom reads, girls do too. In single-parent households (where Mom is usually the present parent - at least in this study), kids of both genders were equally influenced by Mom's reading habits. So what's the catch?

Parents need to put in at least fifty minutes of daily reading time for their efforts to have any affect on their kids, the study concluded, and too few parents do. The figures showed only seventeen percent of boys are reading and only twenty-six percent of girls - and that included their homework.

It all sounds like a no-brainer to me. I often harp on the time I stood in the mall bookstore listening to a mother whine to the clerk that she was starting a book club with her friends, but she doesn't really like to read. "Do you have anything fun to read?" she asked. "Most books are boring." She said this with her son (who looked to be about seven) standing right beside her. It's no wonder when she turned to him and asked, "Do you want me to buy you anything?" that he shook his head. "No, can we go to Target now?" he asked.

You just said books are boring, lady, and you really expect your kid to say, "yeah, I want this one, and this one, and this one?"

What struck me most about the study, however, was the reminder that parents reading isn't enough. You have to do it IN FRONT OF your kids. Again, a no brainer. But that's the hard part. I get most of my reading in at bedtime, after my three-year-old is snuggled into her bed. Either my husband or I make sure we do the nightly book before bed with her, but our own reading habits are largely closeted. Not because we're hiding them from her, but because there's simply little time during the day to read while she's awake.

There's work, making dinner, giving her a bath, playing with her . . . even the times I try to curl up on the couch with the latest piece of fluff I've checked out of the library to escape into is interrupted by the dog who has to go out, the phone ringing, the pre-schooler who wants a cup of juice. Still, I try. We visit the library - a lot. I keep my books and magazines scattered around the house. I read to her, and each holiday is celebrated with a new book.

How do you keep them reading?

Image: YourDictionary.com

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How Old Is Old Enough To Play Outside Alone?

Amy S.F. Lutz — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:23:00 GMT

I live on top of a hill. There's more than a quarter mile between my house and the street, and it's really a kid's paradise up here: a playset, a trampoline, our neighbors' regulation soccer field.

Still, as safe and secure as we are, we wonder at what age it's safe to let the kids play outside without adult supervision. I've let my oldest daughter go outside with her friends since she was five, but what about younger siblings and cousins who want to tag along? What if the kids have a fight and storm off, and get lost?

I can't even imagine how parents make this decision when they live in neighborhoods, or cities - places where cars and strangers are a real risk.

Rosa Brooks, in the Los Angeles Times, laments the fact that parents won't let their kids play unsupervised anymore, like they did when we were kids. She points out that children have a greater chance of being struck by lightning or of being killed in a car accident than of being snatched by a stranger or getting hurt while playing outside without adult caregivers - plus, such free, unstructured play helps teach kids independence, resiliency, maturity and a host of other skills that may be slower to develop if a parent is constantly hovering.

I get it. But I also understand the parents who think, "Yes, the risk of something horrible happening is low. But if something did happen, I'd never be able to live with myself."

So, what's your philosophy? Are you like Lenore Skenazy, the New York City mom who sparked an enormous controversy last March when she armed her 9-year-old son, Izzy, with a MetroCard, a map, $20, and quarters for pay phones and sent him off to find his way home alone on the subway? Or are you more cautious?

Free Weekend? Five Things NOT to Do

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Sun, 04 May 2008 19:12:00 GMT

So let's say, hypothetically, your wife takes the kid(s) for a day and suddenly, happily, you have an entire weekend day to yourself. A weekend day! While you might question how on earth this happened, you might also find yourself sitting at a lonely desk, sipping coffee and eating one too many doughnuts all while thinking: Well, Jebus, now what the hell do I do?

Do you ...

1. Keep drinking coffee, eating doughnuts and surfing the 'net?

2. Clean out the gutters? (Seriously, it's been months now, but it's also almost summer, right?)

3. Workout? (He he.)

4. Call buddies and watch sports and drink insane amounts of alcohol while ingesting burrito-sized food babies?

5. Finish a long-delayed home improvement project? (See workout note above.)

Just how on earth do you spend an entire day off anyway? Or do you simply not do anything at all?

Sometimes The Best Thing Is a Little QUIET

Kelly Mills — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 14:31:00 GMT

When dad and English teacher Robert Wilder turned 41, what he wanted more than anything was a few hours of quiet. Meaning a little chunk of time where he didn't have to talk to anyone, answer questions, argue over snacks, sing songs, or otherwise yap yap yap. I feel that. Anyhow, he made like the monks do and took a short vow of silence. Wisely, he took most of it out of the house. It's a pretty nice story about how to carve out some "not-giving" time, and since most of us parents give lots during the day, it's a good practice. Though I suspect those in my household would welcome my vow of silence even more than I would.

I'm not sure I could shut my trap for that long, but I do love the idea of shaking off the jobs I do for a little bit and getting to just read and sit and be very calm and unlike my usual self. But you know, I've noticed that when I do get free time, I get all squirrely. Is that an occupational hazard of parenting? Maybe you have to be thoughtful about it, or just make it a habit or something. Anyone had any luck with this?

Parents: IF You had Free Time What would you Do?

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 16:19:00 GMT

As parents, we really don't get much free time. I know, I'm preaching to the choir, right? Let's do a mental exercise for a minute. What would you do if you did get some free time? VampDaddy has been thinking a lot about this. He has a list of several things he would do if he got a break that includes yoga, reading, estate planning and uploading all of his cds to itunes.

Hmmm. If I had free time I'm thinking sleep would top my list. I'd also be very interested in going to the beach (assuming it was a lot warmer) and taking a leisurely bath. Maybe I'd go to the National Gallery. I'd also probably cave into the peer pressure and check out Second Life.

What would you do if you had free time?