Strollerderby : gavin rossdale

Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 2)

Brett Singer — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

The Final Four! No, it's not March yet. This is the Final Four Celebrity Kid Names of 2008. Less exciting than college basketball, but hey, it's only December.

Here you go:

(You can read Part 1, with numbers eight through five, here.)

4. Ignatius Martin Upton
(son of Cate Blanchett and Andrew Upton)
This one isn't in the "that's not even a name" category, but it definitely isn't a great choice. The name "Ignatius" reminds me of Ignatius J. Reilly, the lead character of A Confederacy of Dunces. Ignatius (the character) is kind of a putz, to put it mildly. Still, not EVERYONE has read that book (although many people have) and there are probably other folks who were named Ignatius who were not putzy. And again, the middle name is good – Martin Upton actually sounds pleasantly British.

3. Bronx Mowgli Wentz
(son of Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz)
OK, this one is bad. And no middle name to fall back on. The only hope for little Bronx (sheesh! Poor kid) is if Ashlee and Pete come to their senses and change his name to something else. If that doesn't happen, Zowie Bowie (son of David) no longer goes by his given name; he's now Duncan Jones, although at age 12 he asked people to call him Joe. (His full birth name was Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones.) So lil' Bronxy can change his own name when he gets older. I'm sure Zowie Bowie sounded funny to ol' Dave in 1971, but he came to his senses later in life – his daughter with current wife Iman is named Alexandria. Lansky puts this one at #3, if I were making a list like this, Bronx Mowgli Wentz would be #1 with a bullet.

2. Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg
(daughter of Soleil Moon Frye and Jason Goldberg)
This one is bad, although I think Bronx Mowgli is worse. Again, at least the kid can go with Joseph. And while Jagger isn't exactly a great name, at least it's pretty easy to figure out who the kid was named after. Lansky really goes off on the former Punky Brewster this time: he says that he "had no idea that Jagger Joseph Blue was a girl" until he read the press release twice (twice! What nonsense. Bruce Lansky is a very busy man). Then he attacks the now-elderly Mick Jagger, saying that he does not provide an adequate role model "for a baby girl." (Bruce? Try decaf.) Then he says that "Soleil and Jason picked three names and couldn’t find one that’s likely to make their little girl happy," and caps off his mini-tirade by saying the following: "I find it surprising that a woman with two strange names…would pick three strange names for her daughter." I actually don't find it terribly surprising, especially if you consider the fact that Soleil's childhood had to be at least a little bit weird since she grew up on TV, and on a sub-par show at that ("Punky Brewster" isn't exactly "The Odd Couple"). Lansky does offer some useful info: "Soleil means 'sun' in French, so translated into English her name reads 'Sun Moon Frye'." Perhaps somebody's parents were smoking a little something when it was baby-naming time.

1. Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
(son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
This is bad. Very bad. I think Bronx Mowgli is worse, but this one is really not good at all. Lansky focuses on what I think are pointless facts: that no one will know that, "Zuma is a beach in Malibu and that Nesta is Bob Marley’s middle name." If they did, would that make it better? However, Gwen Stefani is making big, big money – music, that fashion line, and endorsements, to name a few. So "I'm Gavin and Gwen's son" will probably go a long way towards dismissing the obvious name lameness. Maybe he can hang out with Knox Jolie-Pitt. They can console each other, each sitting on their own enormous pile of money, trying to decide how many women they should take home tonight.

Final comment: Obviously this is meant to be amusing. Having money and fame does not mean that a kid can't grow up screwy. But having money probably doesn't hurt, and let's face it – while a lot of these names are awful, most really aren't Pilot Inspektor-level awful. Not that it isn't fun to make fun of them. And let's not forget that having a funny name didn't stop a certain guy from becoming President of the United States. Perhaps one day we'll see the Bronx Mowgli Wentz / Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale ticket. Yes… we… can…

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Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 1)

Brett Singer — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

I want Bruce Lansky's job. I mean, the guy just sits around all day and talks about names. Not even deep etymological studies, although sometimes he goes there. It's really just baby names. As near as I can tell, this is a way to make a living. America is a wonderful country.

Anyway, Mr. Lansky has weighed in with a list of the Eight Worst Celebrity Baby Names of 2008. So from the home office in my, um, home, here we go:

8. Sunday Rose Kidman Urban
(daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban)

This one doesn't seem that bad to me. At least not compared to some of the others. Maybe the kid starts going by Rose. Rose is a nice name. Sunday, not so much. Lansky says, "Apparently the name was chosen to honor a patron of the arts in Australia, but most people who hear or read the name will find it an odd choice for an American girl born on a Monday." Whatever, dude.

7. Honor Marie Warren
(daughter of Jessica Alba and Cash Warren)

Again, not that bad. Kid could use the middle name. Dad's name is "Cash." That's much worse. (Unless you happen to be a rapper. Then it's OK.) Lansky says that Alba and her beau will probably start using their daughter's middle name themselves at some point, saying "that’s why it’s so important to pick a “high-odds” middle name when parents pick a risky first name." Not a bad strategy I suppose.

6. Emme Anthony
(daughter of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony)

This time Lansky takes issue with potential pronunciation problems (say THAT phrase ten times fast), as well as spelling: "it’ll be misspelled ninety-nine times out of a hundred." Then he wags his virtual finger at the Lopez's (I say "Lopez's" because let's face it, Jen is in charge in that house): "That’s what happens when you pick an obscure variation of one of the five most popular girls’ names in the U.S. Emma would have been a much smarter choice." Except that this particular girl's name belongs to the daughter of someone who has made an enormous pile of money and is world-renowned. (Hint: she's married to some guy named Marc.) I tend to agree with Lansky that, when in doubt about a name for your offspring, go with the easier choice. That said, people get my name wrong all the time – one T, Bert, etc. Note to Emme: you'll get over it. I did.

5. Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt
(son of Three Guesses, The First Two Don't Count)

This name is odd. Lansky says that this poor lad will have trouble in school and will be forced to explain his name as, "Knox. As in Fort Knox." Yes. As in "my parents have more money than Fort Knox." Then he'll select one of the thousands of girls that want to date him and head over to the Viper Room in his chauffeur driven limo. Now I realize that money isn't everything. But it does make a dopey name a little bit easier deal with.

For the remaining four names, including what Lansky thinks is the worst Celeb Name of 2008, click here.

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Mr. Gwen Stefani wants to feel more manly

Brett Singer — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:00:00 GMT

The other day on the streets of Manhattan I saw a sign advertising Gavin Rossdale's new album. Who, you may ask, is Gavin Rossdale? You might know him by his married name: Mr. Gwen Stefani. Back in the dark days of the 1990's, Gavin was actually more famous than his now-wife; he was the lead singer of a band called Bush. They had a few unlistenable hits. (Actually, they were pretty popular, but not really my thing.) Then he married Gwen, who has gone from being the lead singer of No Doubt to a world-wide superstar of the kind not seen since Madonna.

When I saw the poster, I thought to myself, I wonder if he gets annoyed about the fact that his wife is sooo much more successful than he is. I mean, people have busted my chops (usually in a good natured way) about the fact that my wife brings home more pastrami (we're Jewish, so we don't eat much bacon) than I do. In truth, it doesn't bother me. I'd be lying if I said I had never once felt a little funny about the reversal of traditional roles, but its pretty rare and not terribly serious. Besides, um, I get to stay home. So I was curious whether Mr. Stefani was equally enlightened.

Well, there are problems, but not exactly the kind I described. Gwen is reportedly annoyed at her hubby for going out on tour to promote his new record rather than staying home with the rug rats, current and pending (Gwen is about to give birth). See, she has put her career on hold for the moment, and doesn't understand why her husband can't do the same.

Gwen (she lets me call her Gwen – no, she doesn't), I'm going to tell you why. Because he feels completely emasculated. You are one of the biggest stars EVER. Who knows if it will last but you've completely surpassed any musical success that he has ever known, not only with No Doubt but also as a solo artist. You made a clothing line. You have Japanese backup dancers who follow you everywhere. You think he doesn't want that (especially the backup dancers)? Let him go out on the road. See if Gavin can change his schedule a bit so he's at home more often while the kids are still little, and maybe he can play some dates near where you live when you get close to your due date.

And Gavin? Get over yourself. You had your shot, you did OK, but what're you, Bob Dylan? Yes, you're "the man". But it's not 1952. You are married to an incredibly hot and talented woman who has made a pile of dough. Enjoy it. Plus, being around for the birth of your child, even the second or third time, is a great thing.

In other words: talk to each other, figure out a way that Gavin can do whatever promotion he has to do, and still be there when the baby is born.

Gwen. Gavin. If you want to talk, you know where to find me.

image: Star.com

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Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Tue, 29 May 2007 18:01:00 GMT

Little Kingston Rossdale turned one last weekend and spent the day toy shopping in New York City and spending time with Gwen's parents.

Kingston, named after the city in Jamaica (and all the stoners high-five), is probably the most stylish of the celebrity babies thanks to his singer-designer mama, Gwen, who fully admits to looking fabulous all the time so as to avoid a bad paparazzi shot. It's a lot of pressure, but seriously, have you ever seen a photo of Gwen looking terrible?

Kingston's daddy is Mr. Gwen Stefani, I mean, Gavin Rossdale who I think used to be the sexy lead singer of a band or something.

Happy Birthday, Kingston, mon!