Strollerderby : gay adoption

The Literal Cost of Homophobia

Shannon LC Cate — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:50:00 GMT

Instead of "Tea Parties" citizens of Florida worried about the state budget should perhaps be holding pro-gay adoption rallies. According to a new report out from The Williams Institute, at the UCLA School of Law, Florida's gay adoption ban is costing the state at least $3.4 million a year.

The number is based on estimating the savings to the state when children in the state's care (foster children) are adopted, versus remaining in foster care and having new families recruited for them, because their gay foster parents are ineligible to adopt them under the current state law.

Maybe this new evidence will work where children's best interest has failed so far. Hard, cold financial gain might move the stone-hearted in a way the health and well being of some of the state's least "adoptable" children has not.

For more details and a link to the actual report, check out Proud Parenting.

image: Steve Lofton, Roger Croteau and their five foster children, via poz.com

Michigan Court Must Hear Lesbian Custody Dispute

JeanneSager — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:31:00 GMT

The residents of Michigan passed a gay marriage ban in 2004, but that doesn't mean the courts can't weigh in on a lesbian couple's custody dispute.

A court ruled last week that the legal adoption of three children by two gay Michigan residents - while they were living in Illinois - must not only be recognized by the Michigan courts but addressed as the now estranged couple attempts to navigate a custody arrangement.

Diane Giancaspro and Lisa Congleton have three children between them, adopted in 1998, 1999 and 2002, while the couple was living in Illinois, a state that recognizes both parents in a homosexual relationship and allows for joint adoption. The women broke up in 2007 - after moving to Michigan.

But when Giancaspro sued for custody under Michigan law, her former partner called for the case's dismissal. Congleton was attempting to use the state's refusal to recognize domestic partnerships in her favor, stating that neither parent has rights in the state of Michigan. As depressing as it is that a lesbian had to make use of the laws that are set up AGAINST her to retain a connection with her children, it worked. The judge in the case said she recognized the "validity" of the adoption but couldn't enfore either woman's parental rights.

Giancaspro, with the help of the ACLU, took the case to an appeals court. Last week, a two to one decision from the court mandated the issue be put back before a Michigan court, ruling that the U.S. Constitution protects the adoption and therefore allows for a custody dispute to be mediated in a family court setting.

The decision has, of course, prompted suggestions by family values advocates that it's time for a gay adoption ban in Michigan (really guys? as if the gay marriage ban didn't prove you can't pull your heads from your you-know-whats?). But it's a victory for gay parents, who are finally getting access to a right afforded every other parent in the state - the right to their day in court.

I still can't help but come back to Congleton's argument, however. I understand she was grasping at the same straws any parent would to keep their children, but there's something deeply saddening about a mother forced to embrace the very laws that denied her rights that should be granted her as a member of the human race in order to be there for her kids.

Would you compromise your values in this kind of situation?

Image: Wikipedia

Are These Grandparents Angry Over Gay Adoption?

JeanneSager — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 17:26:00 GMT

A set of grandparents - ages forty-six and fifty-nine - have been told they're too old to adopt their addict daughter's two kids. Outrageous, I know.

But as heartbreaking as the tale of grandparents torn from their grandchildren seems, the story of their plight in the Daily Mail is almost as bad.

Instead of breaking down the bizarre notion that forty-six is somehow too old to parent, the tabloid tells a tale of grandparents done wrong by a system that would allow a gay couple to adopt these people's grandkids.

Who cares?

To me, the real meat of the story are the strange rules for potential adoptive parents in the UK. Shannon reported recently on the 'derby about a couple denied adoption because the father-to-be was extremely overweight; prompting the question of whether the UK is more concerned with the potential of a parent's death than their ability to actually parent.

In this case, the little girl and little boy are five and four; their mother is a twenty-six-year-old heroin addict who has been ruled an unfit parent. The grandparents have been trying for two years to become the childrens' legal parents, stopping only recently when legal bills became too much to handle. They said they were told if they didn't agree to the adoption with the gay couple, they would likely never see the children again.

Evidence has shown that keeping children with relatives is often the best option; making adoption outside of the family the next best (not bad, necessarily, just not as good). So why not let the kids stay with their grandparents in Edinburgh?

The (admittedly biased) Daily Mail piece says this is all about age. Life expectancy for women in Scotland is seventy-nine. It's seventy-four for men. The grandfather is the elder - at fifty-nine. If he lives as long as the average Scottish man, he's still got fifteen years left on this earth - enough time to follow the youngest grandchild to the age of maturity. Grandma is the younger, she's got as good a chance as any woman to live another thirty-three years on this planet; she could see them not only graduate but get married and have kids.

They have health issues - Grandpa with angina, Grandma with diabetes. But those aren't being blamed for the decision to keep the kids from their grandparents; and, depending on the severity, would seem the more pressing issues.

Then there's the gay adoption issue. The article makes a big deal to point out that the grandparents are homophobic, but Grandpa talks about how awful it is that the kids won't have a mother figure and Grandma makes a point to say that the little girl is "wary of men." Ironic - because they're pushing for a heterosexual couple to adopt the kids, which, last time I checked, would include a man!

The article also makes reference to research that has supposedly shown children fare better with a mother AND a a father - research that has been contradicted by other research saying children of gay couples fare just as well - which brings us back to the crux of UK adoption policies. Are they pushing for two parents? Gay adoption is legal in the UK (fortunately), but are they being chosen not because they can best care for the kids but because there's two of them?

Image: Daily Mail

Jon Stewart Slam Dunks the Argument for Gay Marriage

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:42:00 GMT

There are few things more satisfying than watching someone make a clear ethical and logical argument for something you believe in, particularly when that argument is being broadcast to living rooms around America--and is being made to Mike Huckabee.

Just one of the many reasons this video made me love Jon Stewart even more than I thought possible: "I would argue," he says, "that a loving gay family with a financially secure background beats the hell out of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline anyday." That is really just the tip of the iceberg of his eloquence.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Photo: sueschaub.com

BREAKING NEWS: Judge Overrules Ban on Gays Adopting in Florida

JeanneSager — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:01:00 GMT

In the wake of Prop 8 putting the kibosh on gay marriages in California and Arkansas voters saying no to gays adopting or even fostering children, the gay community needed some good news. Thanks to Florida Judge Cindy Lederman, they finally got some. And it's just in time for Thanksgiving! Her honor ruled the thirty-year-old ban that's kept gay men and women from adopting children in Florida is unconstitutional today. Right at the tail end of National Adoption Month, Lederman signed the papers that make Frank Gill an official dad.

Gill and his partner of eight years have been raising a set of half-brothers for the past four years, ever since a child abuse investigator put the boys in the couple's "temporary" care just before Christmas. They have been the only parents the younger of the two boys, who is just four years old, has ever really known. Now they're the only dads he'll ever have to know.

Lederman is the second Florida judge to challenge the decades-old ban this year. A judge in August dubbed it an "unveiled" expression of bigotry. Lederman agreed, stating that children should be granted the fundamental right to be raised in a loving home by two parents, even if their birth parents can't be called upon to do the job. Denying foster children of gays and lesbians that right means children's best interests are being denied.

Lederman's comments in the Miami Herald are just the sort of words we need to hear two days before Thanksgiving:

''This is the forum where we try to heal children, find permanent families for them so they can get another chance at what every child should know and feel from birth, and go on to lead productive lives. We pray for them to thrive, but that is a word we rarely hear in dependency court.''

"It is clear that sexual orientation is not a predictor of a person's ability to parent. Sexual orientation no more leads to psychiatric disorders, alcohol and substance abuse, relationship instability, a lower life expectancy or sexual disorders than race, gender, socioeconomic class or any other demographic characteristic."

Duh! There are plenty of bad straight parents out there. And lots of good gay ones. Too bad I'm not a family court judge - I think I'd be good at this. Putting a damper on all this happy weeping, of course, is the state's attorney general's office - they've already guaranteed an appeal is headed to the third circuit court. But Frank Gill says he is happy today, and so are his sons. Yes, his sons. Because the adoption ban doesn't make more straight parents come pouring out of the woodwork.

``It results in more children being left without any parents at all. They don't have a mom or a dad," he told the Herald.

Here's to every child one day having a mom and dad or a mom and mom or a dad and dad . . . just as long as they have someone to love and care for them.

Image: Miami Herald (Frank Gill and one of his sons)

Separation of Church and State = Same-Sex Marriage

Arkansas Adoption Ban Passes, Fails to Eliminate Queers and their Spawn from the Earth

What Makes a Yuppie Parent?

Juno Goes to Washington? Congress' First Unwed Mom

The Trouble with Safe Haven Laws: Some Thoughts for National Adoption Month

They say: Obama Wins

Brett Singer — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:11:00 GMT

CNN, The New York Times, and even Fox News have called the Presidential race for Barack Obama. (UPDATE: so has everyone else.)

Amazing to think that it's almost all over after so much campaigning.

Not much to say. I'm still going to watch the news for awhile; I'm like Yogi Berra – it ain't over 'til it's over, y'know? Then again, McCain just conceded. Wow. (Classy speech too, for what it's worth.)

UPDATE: I'm watching Barack's speech now. I can't imagine what must be going through his mind. Think about where he was in 2004. Wow. I know I should have something more articulate to say but "wow" is going to have to do. (It's late.)

My kids don't seem to care that much, which was actually sort of nice in a way. No matter who wins, they get up, go to school, eat lunch, run around, jump on my ribs – a typical day. Eventually I'll talk to them about this election, but not right now.

What about you – how do you feel?

image: me waiting to vote today

McCain's Mom's Morale Super Low

Other Stuff to Vote On Today – Same Sex Marriage, Chicken Cages

McCain Campaign Verbally Abuses an Innocent Child

Obama doesn't say I love you anymore

They say: John McCain is not a maverick

Babble Podcast for November 3, 2008

Republican Candidate Uses Porn-esque Robocall

Jon Stewart says: Ted Stevens is a Cheap Date

N-Word Flies at Palin Rally

Babble Podcast for October 27th, 2008

Babble Talk: The Candidates Health Plans

Joe the racist plumber?

They Say: Obese During Pregnancy? Hatch a Republican!

Sarah Palin Gets Pranked By Canadian Radio Hosts – Video

Which Candidate Has The Best Name?

They say: no one with a uterus should vote for McCain

They say: McCain not thrilled with Palin and she wants to run in 2012

Best political shirt ever - Everyone Poops

109 Year Old Daughter Of Slave Votes For Obama

Other Stuff to Vote On Today – Same Sex Marriage, Chicken Cages

Brett Singer — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 20:15:00 GMT

So the United States is picking a President today. But there are other candidates, and also many ballot measures in play today.

A quick round-up:

ARIZONA:
- Ban same-sex marriage.
- Require that any initiative involving spending or tax hikes be approved by majority of all registered voters, not just those casting ballots.

ARKANSAS:
- Create state lottery.
- Ban unmarried couples from adopting or being foster parents.

CALIFORNIA:
- Ban same-sex marriage.
- Authorize high-speed rail project.
- Require parental notification for a minor's abortion.
- Create 14-member commission to draw state legislative districts.
- Require all utilities to generate 20 percent of their power from renewable energy by 2010.
- Ban cramped metal cages for egg-laying hens.

I think I'm noticing a trend here.

Several states are voting on ballot measures to "ban same-sex marriage." Personally, I find this bizarre. Isn't it already banned? Are people that freaked out at the possibility of two men or two women marrying each other that they need to put it on double secret probation? (For the record, I think if gay people are crazy enough to want to be married, it's fine. Go for it.)

Looking at the article on MiamiHerald.com, it looks like the to-do of an insane person. Authorize slot machine gambling, check. Allow state's first casino, check. Ban abortion and dog racing, check. Ban cramped metal cages for egg-laying hens, check. (Those are all from different states, not the same one.) That's not to say that all of the measures are insane, it's just funny to think about them out of context. "Let's see, today...Prohibit mandatory union membership and mandatory union dues, authorize slot-machine gambling, and make English the official language of government proceedings. Got it." Busy day.

Sources: Miami Herald, MTV

Read more:

Obama doesn't say I love you anymore

They say: John McCain is not a maverick

Babble Podcast for November 3, 2008

Republican Candidate Uses Porn-esque Robocall

Jon Stewart says: Ted Stevens is a Cheap Date

N-Word Flies at Palin Rally

Babble Podcast for October 27th, 2008

Babble Talk: The Candidates Health Plans

Joe the racist plumber?

Sarah Palin Gets Pranked By Canadian Radio Hosts – Video

Which Candidate Has The Best Name?

They say: no one with a uterus should vote for McCain

They say: McCain not thrilled with Palin and she wants to run in 2012

Best political shirt ever - Everyone Poops

109 Year Old Daughter Of Slave Votes For Obama

Brett Singer — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:45:00 GMT

The line to vote for President and other stuff today might be kind of long. If you get cranky, here's an inspiring story to keep you a little bit sane.

From the Austin American Statesman:

Amanda Jones, 109, the daughter of a man born into slavery, has lived a life long enough to touch three centuries. And after voting consistently as a Democrat for 70 years, she has voted early for the country's first black presidential nominee.
…
Jones' father herded sheep as a slave until he was 12, according to the family, and once he was freed, he was a farmer who raised cows, hogs and turkeys on land he owned. Her mother was born right after the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, Joyce Jones said. The family owned more than 100 acres of land in Cedar Creek at one point, she said.
Amanda Jones' father urged her to exercise her right to vote, despite discriminatory practices at the polls and poll taxes meant to keep black and poor people from voting. Those practices were outlawed for federal elections with the 24th Amendment in 1964, but not for state and local races in Texas until 1966.

First of all, the fact that anyone lived to be 109 is cool. More importantly, though, is her story. I can't imagine what it must have felt like for Amanda to cast her vote in this Presidential election.

Source/Image: Statesman.com

Read more:

Other Stuff to Vote On Today – Same Sex Marriage, Chicken Cages

Obama doesn't say I love you anymore

They say: John McCain is not a maverick

Babble Podcast for November 3, 2008

Republican Candidate Uses Porn-esque Robocall

Jon Stewart says: Ted Stevens is a Cheap Date

N-Word Flies at Palin Rally

Babble Podcast for October 27th, 2008

Babble Talk: The Candidates Health Plans

Joe the racist plumber?

Sarah Palin Gets Pranked By Canadian Radio Hosts – Video

Which Candidate Has The Best Name?

They say: no one with a uterus should vote for McCain

They say: McCain not thrilled with Palin and she wants to run in 2012

Best political shirt ever - Everyone Poops

Opposing Same-Sex Fostercare and Adoption: It's Not Just for John McCain Anymore

Shannon LC Cate — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 01:37:00 GMT

John McCain told the New York Times that children were better off in orphanages than in the homes of loving same-sex parents. It seems some folks in Arkansas agree.

An Arkansas ballot initiative being pushed by conservative groups would leave more children waiting for families longer by banning adoption and foster parenting by unmarried couples. By "unmarried" everyone on both sides of the ballot initiative means "same-sex." Having already banned gay marriage (pointless, since gays could never marry in Arkansas anyway) down-ballot in the last presidential election, the radical right-wing agenda now takes aim at children in need of families. According to NPR, foster families are on the decline in the state, and banning same-sex couples from joining their ranks (or remaining in them, as the case may be) will only hurt children in need of loving care from trustworthy adults.

California's Proposition 8 is getting lots of press these final days before the election, but if you're in Arkansas, educate yourself about the Arkansas Adoption Ban before heading to the polls.

John McCain Doesn't "Believe In" Gay Parents

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:16:00 GMT

One would think that John McCain would be the most likely candidate to understand the importance of making unwanted babies into wanted ones, since he and his wife have an adopted daughter. But his support of adoption only goes as far as his ideology—or his political interests—will allow. He recently stated, “I think that we’ve proven that both parents are important in the success of a family so, no, I don't believe in gay adoption.”

I’m so glad that writer Terrence Heath, who recently adopted a baby with his husband, thoroughly took McCain to task so I don’t have to. In an elegant essay on Huffington Post, Heath points to the arguments raised in the California Supreme Court decision to allow same-sex marriage, including the assertion that adoptive parents are just as “adept” at raising children as biological parents—and to argue that gay parents shouldn’t adopt is a slippery slope to being anti-adoption. Heath includes stats from numerous studies showing that gay parents are just as likely as straight parents to raise healthy, happy kids.

Lastly, Heath points to the tragedy of three-year-old Turner Jordan Nelson, whose father killed him by throwing him over a bridge in the midst of a nasty custody battle. According to the thinking of the anti-gay parent faction (including McCain), this father is a “real" parent because he is a straight man who “created” his son through vaginal intercourse, while Heath and his husband, a loving couple committed to always doing what's best for their child, are not.

Fortunately for unwanted babies everywhere, parents like Heath exist whether McCain believes in them or not.

Photo: aglp.org

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2008/07/03/mrs-and-mrs-degeneres-and-a-male-perspective-on-the-name-game.aspx

Strollerderby Playdate: Dan Savage

Erin White — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:00:00 GMT

From France to Salt Lake City, same-sex parent adoption is all over the news these days. Depending on who and what you read, it is good for kids, bad for kids, protects non-biological parents, threatens non-biological parents, threatens straight parents, threatens national security. It's times likes these when I like to schedule a playdate with Dan Savage, an old friend I've never met.

Savage, as you may well know, is the editor of Seattle's weekly paper The Stranger, a sex columnist, and a commentator on "This American Life." He is also a gay dad, and the author of one of the best books ever on gay adoption: The Kid. I love this book. I love Savage's other book, too, and I really love this article he wrote a few years back about his family's evolving relationship with his son's birth mother. Savage is unabashedly sexy, political, and somehow both self-deprecating and completely unapologetic. He is a gay dad who refuses to buy into the idea that in order to be accepted by straight society he must play down the "gay" and play up the "dad."

Until I just happen upon him at the local playground (doubtful for oh so many reasons, the first being I don't live in Seattle, the second being his son aged out of such frivolities a while back), I'll be hanging out with Savage on the printed page where he does an unparalleled job of reminding his readers that parents who welcome children into their families regardless of how those children were welcomed into the world are anything but a threat.

Prime Minister Wants to Unadopt Gay Daughter

Madeline Holler — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:25:00 GMT

How’s this for family drama? The Prime Minister of Cambodia wants to unadopt his grown gay daughter because she married a woman. Out of the other side of his mouth, he appealed to people not to discriminate against gays. Awwww, Daddy!

He has filed a court case to disown the daughter he adopted as an infant. He told an audience that he doesn’t want her to have claim to any inheritance from his family. Because his family isn’t her family?

"We are concerned that she might one day cause us trouble ... and try to stake her claim for a share of our assets," he said. I think he means her rightful share of the assets, but I haven’t read the court documents closely.

And also: "We are concerned that one day her girls take bombs and poisonous materials to our house and we all will die.” Typical adopted lesbians.

Even more confusing is that Cambodia is largely tolerant of gays and lesbians. In 2004, the country’s then-king came out in support of gay marriage after watching the news of same-sex marriages in San Francisco.

The coordinator of Women's Agenda for Change, a Cambodian gay advocacy group, wouldn’t comment on the prime minister’s actions regarding his lesbian daughter, but she lauded him for appealing to tolerance for all other gays and lesbians. Sure. Nice work, Mr. Prime Minister.

Perhaps the adoption advocacy groups there will take a harder line.

Photo: AFP/Getty Images via CNN

Flamingos More Progressive Than Humans; Gay Duo Adopts

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 22 May 2007 13:04:00 GMT

Not too long ago a bunch of ~~religious~~ lovely and not at all homophobic people urged Christians to adopt more foster kids, if only to keep the poor things out of the evil cluthes of gays and lesbians, who so wanted to force the kids to watch "Workout" marathons. The shame.

Well the gay flamingo cabal got ahold of this revelation and did something drastic: They adopted. Carlos and Fernando, a pair of British flamingos who have been together for six years and have a history of nest-sitting for other flamingos (their phone number wasn't given out, sorry), have adopted a new egg. A clutch of them, actually.

"They were rather good at sitting on eggs and hatching them so last week, when a nest was abandoned, it seemed like a good idea to make them surrogate parents."

I can't wait for the response from the love-thy-neighbor-except-those-militant-gay-British-flamingos types. Until then, well done Carlos and Fernando -- the world's newest adopting gay flamingo parents!

Kids With Same Sex Parents Doing at Least as Well as Kids of Breeders

Kelly Mills — Tue, 08 May 2007 12:04:00 GMT

In your face, homophobes. A study requested by the Canadian Justice Department found that children of same-sex parents were at least as well-adjusted as children of heterosexual parents. The study reviewed all the empirical literature on the subject, and concluded that the majority of researchers discovered at least comparable levels of social competence in kids from gay and straight families. Oh, except a few studies did find that kids with lesbian parents have higher levels of social competence than kids with different-sex parents. Kind of makes you think that if we want to improve the prospects for our nation's children, we ought to do more to prevent discrimination against gay parents in adoption and foster parenting...

Interestingly, this study was concluded a while back, but when it was commissioned in 2003, the Canadian government was more liberal. When the conservative government came to power in 2006, they might not have wanted their own Justice Department concluding that gay parents do at least as good a job as breeders, if not better. At least that's the opinion of the study's author, who only got this work out into the world by making a request through the Access to Information Act.

I'm really no expert on Canadian politics, but I will say: boy, doesn't it suck when you keep opposing gay marriage, and then it turns out kids from gay families are doing quite well? Why, it's almost as though there's nothing wrong with homosexuality. And remember, these kids are doing well despite the fact that they may have to contend with homophobia. It also sounds like the Canadian government prefers to keep anything that contradicts their ideological stance under wraps. Lemme tell you, we here in the States know nothing about that. As one lesbian mom interviewed for the story said, "I think if we were living in the United States, [the study] would not have even been done." Our government knows the best way to avoid embarrassing research is not to commission it in the first place.

Arkansas to Attempt to Bar Gays, Unmarried from Guardianship of Children

Patti — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 18:05:00 GMT

If you live in Arkansas, you might have to rethink your will. A state legislator is introducing a bill which, if passed, would prevent gay or unmarried straight couples from adopting, fostering, or otherwise taking guardianship of minor children. Gay parents comprise only about 6.5% of the total number of adoptions in the state, and it had been state policy since 1999 to exclude homosexuals from becoming foster parents until that policy was overturned last year.

State legislator Steve Womack (R) introduced the bill and at the last minute tried to amend it so that opposite-sex couples were excluded from the ban, and the amendment was rejected. And rightly so, actually. If you're going to set a standard of what it means to be a family, you damn well better at least pretend to be consistent about it. Still, it's another sad example of how the chances of forming a "forever family" are diminished in the name of "family values". And not only does it limit the options for the children in Arkansas' foster care system, it limits the choices available to Arkansas parents and birth mothers when they seek to place their child or choose a guardian. Nobody's going to win with this one.