Strollerderby : gay fathers

John McCain Doesn't "Believe In" Gay Parents

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:16:00 GMT

One would think that John McCain would be the most likely candidate to understand the importance of making unwanted babies into wanted ones, since he and his wife have an adopted daughter. But his support of adoption only goes as far as his ideology—or his political interests—will allow. He recently stated, “I think that we’ve proven that both parents are important in the success of a family so, no, I don't believe in gay adoption.”

I’m so glad that writer Terrence Heath, who recently adopted a baby with his husband, thoroughly took McCain to task so I don’t have to. In an elegant essay on Huffington Post, Heath points to the arguments raised in the California Supreme Court decision to allow same-sex marriage, including the assertion that adoptive parents are just as “adept” at raising children as biological parents—and to argue that gay parents shouldn’t adopt is a slippery slope to being anti-adoption. Heath includes stats from numerous studies showing that gay parents are just as likely as straight parents to raise healthy, happy kids.

Lastly, Heath points to the tragedy of three-year-old Turner Jordan Nelson, whose father killed him by throwing him over a bridge in the midst of a nasty custody battle. According to the thinking of the anti-gay parent faction (including McCain), this father is a “real" parent because he is a straight man who “created” his son through vaginal intercourse, while Heath and his husband, a loving couple committed to always doing what's best for their child, are not.

Fortunately for unwanted babies everywhere, parents like Heath exist whether McCain believes in them or not.

Photo: aglp.org

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2008/07/03/mrs-and-mrs-degeneres-and-a-male-perspective-on-the-name-game.aspx

Strollerderby Playdate: Dan Savage

Erin White — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:00:00 GMT

From France to Salt Lake City, same-sex parent adoption is all over the news these days. Depending on who and what you read, it is good for kids, bad for kids, protects non-biological parents, threatens non-biological parents, threatens straight parents, threatens national security. It's times likes these when I like to schedule a playdate with Dan Savage, an old friend I've never met.

Savage, as you may well know, is the editor of Seattle's weekly paper The Stranger, a sex columnist, and a commentator on "This American Life." He is also a gay dad, and the author of one of the best books ever on gay adoption: The Kid. I love this book. I love Savage's other book, too, and I really love this article he wrote a few years back about his family's evolving relationship with his son's birth mother. Savage is unabashedly sexy, political, and somehow both self-deprecating and completely unapologetic. He is a gay dad who refuses to buy into the idea that in order to be accepted by straight society he must play down the "gay" and play up the "dad."

Until I just happen upon him at the local playground (doubtful for oh so many reasons, the first being I don't live in Seattle, the second being his son aged out of such frivolities a while back), I'll be hanging out with Savage on the printed page where he does an unparalleled job of reminding his readers that parents who welcome children into their families regardless of how those children were welcomed into the world are anything but a threat.

Flamingos More Progressive Than Humans; Gay Duo Adopts

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 22 May 2007 13:04:00 GMT

Not too long ago a bunch of ~~religious~~ lovely and not at all homophobic people urged Christians to adopt more foster kids, if only to keep the poor things out of the evil cluthes of gays and lesbians, who so wanted to force the kids to watch "Workout" marathons. The shame.

Well the gay flamingo cabal got ahold of this revelation and did something drastic: They adopted. Carlos and Fernando, a pair of British flamingos who have been together for six years and have a history of nest-sitting for other flamingos (their phone number wasn't given out, sorry), have adopted a new egg. A clutch of them, actually.

"They were rather good at sitting on eggs and hatching them so last week, when a nest was abandoned, it seemed like a good idea to make them surrogate parents."

I can't wait for the response from the love-thy-neighbor-except-those-militant-gay-British-flamingos types. Until then, well done Carlos and Fernando -- the world's newest adopting gay flamingo parents!

Texas SAHD Survey Probes Deep

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 14:56:00 GMT

The University of Texas wants to know how you're doing, dads. Are you angry? Are you happy? Do you dislike gay people? Or cry a lot? Researchers are putting together a survey on how stay-at-home dads are adjusting to their new roles in life, and they have a LOT of questions.

I found the survey through Rebel Dad and also through Daddy Zine, and I have to admit I felt better and better about myself as the survey continued. "Do you feel blue?" No, doing fine thanks. "Panicky?" Um, no. "Dull or sluggish?" You mean when I'm not hung over?

My favorite parts were the nine billion questions about whether stay-at-home dads dislike gay people, and while I frequently drifted off to think of the ~~37th~~ one guy I'd change uniforms for ... damn! I drifted again ... I couldn't help wondering if that's a common perception people have of stay-at-home dads and whether the researchers were trying to quantify our "gayness." I'm not sure when this study will conclude, but I can't wait for the results.

Rich Parent too Poor to Buy Carseats for Kids?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 16:13:00 GMT

Faggots on the Third Floor possesses a deadly combination of clever blog name, gorgeous children, and vicious wit, applied with alacrity to a boss who is apparently incredibly wealthy, but not willing to buy carseats for his own children. After a laundry list of expenses that include both spiritual analysis and counseling and massages, FotTF fails to understand how carseats for children ages 2 and 4 are "too expensive."

Since I live in a total bubble, I'm always shocked by stories like these. In nonprofit work like mine (which deals with abused children) one becomes somewhat inured over time to the constant stream of hard luck stories -- full of poverty, privation, drug abuse, and domestic violence. Where I work, it is assumed that education and resources are usually the primary barriers between good parents and struggling parents, but what of this?

What of a case like this where a person has information (the boss reports knowing he "should" purchase car seats) but chooses to act against knowledge, resources, and basic assumptions (parents take good care of their children if they are able)? In my line of work, you're left to assume that these parents, no matter how wealthy, exist in a world where they obviously feel that they cannot take care of their children's basic needs. Either that, or they're just total uncaring assholes.