Strollerderby : geeky

Hulk want puny blogger to review Hulk movie

Brett Singer — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Yesterday I received the following email:

To: Puny Blogger
From: Hulk
Subject: Hulk Movie

Hulk get right to point, Puny Blogger. Why Puny Blogger not review Hulk's movie? Puny Blogger wrote about Metal Man movie. Hulk hate Metal Man! Hulk smash!

Hulk know last movie had stupid plot and gamma-charged poodle. Hulk tell stupid producers about script problems at first table read, and Hulk not hire Ang Lee. (Hulk think Tiger/Dragon movie highly over-rated.) But Hulk feel good about latest big screen effort. New movie tell Hulk story in entertaining and emotionally satisfying way. Hulk see movie. Hulk happy with final cut.

Hulk angry that Puny Blogger not write about Hulk movie! Hulk just trying to get something going with career. Hulk father now, need to get ducks in row. Has Puny Blogger seen price of tuition? Hulk need start saving now. Hulk finally get big movie with big opening weekend gross, and Puny Blogger not care.

Write review of Hulk movie, Puny Blogger – or Hulk smash!

Cordially,

Hulk

Hulk, please accept our apologies for not reviewing your film sooner. I've just been busy with other projects, and of course, my family. As a new father, I'm sure you can understand. Please, do not smash me, my computer, or anything else for that matter. Here is my review of "The Incredible Hulk."

The last time Marvel brought ol' Greenskin to the big screen, it was a disaster. Too long, bad CGI effects, and a gamma irradiated poodle were only some of the problems. Bruce Banner becomes the Hulk because his father was mean to him, injecting him with some experimental serum, which is triggered by a blast of gamma radiation? Oookay. No disrespect to Ang Lee, but he was a bad choice.

For this latest effort, Marvel took over the producing reins and went back to basics. The story actually picks up where Lee's film leaves off; five years have passed, both in the film and in actual reality (Ang Lee's "Hulk" was released in 2003.) Ed Norton is a good Banner, although there are too many scenes that are clearly meant to "deepen" the character. When the Hulk shows up, it's great. The CGI isn't perfect, and it's not nearly as seamless as "Iron Man", which almost made you believe someone could build a shiny flying super-hero suit. But this new "Hulk" is 1000% better than the last one.

One interesting choice the director Louis Leterrier (the "Transporter" movies) and screenwriter Zak Penn (the last 2 "X-Men" flicks, as well as the upcoming "Captain America" and "Avengers" films) made was to go back to the much-beloved television series. They use a new version of the intro, the music shows up a couple of times, and some of the feeling of Banner wandering the globe looking for a cure is very much a part of this new "Hulk". (They did do away with the amazingly bad choice of renaming Hulk's alter ego "David Banner", although Bruce does use that name as an alias at one point.) I'm one of the millions of people who fondly recall the old "Hulk" series, which starred Bill Bixby and Lou Ferigno. (Lou has a cameo as a security guard and is still in body-builder shape.) That show, hokey and mopey though it was, had something that the first "Hulk" movie didn't, which was a sense of reality. Having a real person (Ferigno) play the Green Goliath made it feel more like it could actually happen. Part of what the new "Hulk" does better is to just have better CGI effects. But part of it is keeping things simple. Somehow going back to something that worked – the TV show – made this easier to pull off.

It's not a great movie. But it was so much better than I expected. Also, it sets up for future Marvel super-hero movies featuring multiple characters: Robert Downey Jr. shows up at the end to do his Tony Stark thing; this time you don't have to wait until after the credits. There's even a hint at a villain for a "Hulk" sequel. Part of the fun of watching our beloved funny books turned into movies is the recognition factor: "Hey! There's General Ross! Talking to Tony Stark! And they said something about a team!" Avengers! Yes!

"The Incredible Hulk" is still in theaters, so go check it out. It's a fun popcorn flick, and besides, Hulk needs the cash for Hulk Jr.'s college fund.

image: EOnline

Five Forgotten Fictional Fathers (Hulk mentioned here)

Stay out of my room or I'll pee on your tree (Hulk not mentioned here, but Hulk think story funny)

Here's to the laddies who lunch (Hulk not want have coffee with fellow dads)

Sexy Superhero Parents: The Top 10 (Why Hulk not mentioned? Hulk very attractive! Look at Hulk's abs!)

Hancock Tops U.S. Box Office for Holiday Weekend (Hulk knocked from top spot, but Hulk OK with that. Will Smith box office gold. Hulk relative newbie in movies)

An American Girl: Lisa Kudrow (Story mentions Hulk)

It's time again to play: Guess The Photo!

Brett Singer — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:00:00 GMT

This is:

a)   Me, after Burning Man
b)   The other Olsen sibling (you know, the one they keep locked in the basement)
c)   Rejected Sesame Street character Scary McNightmare
d)   The other Jonas brother
e)   The offspring of a superhero

It's e).

For those of you who always wondered, "What if the Hulk was sent to a strange planet and had a child with an alien woman who has some sort of power that connects her to the life-force of the planet itself?" Your question has been answered.

That's right, True Believers, this is Skaar: Son of Hulk. The new Hulk movie hits theaters today, which means a ton of Hulk-themed comic books will be released in an attempt to entice old and new fans to part with more of their nerdy money.

For the uninitiated and/or those who could not care any less, here's the scoop on Hulk's kid:

(Note: if for some reason you haven't read Planet Hulk / World War Hulk but are planning too, the next paragraph gives away the ending. So skip it if you don't want to be "spoiled.")

The Hulk is often a major league pain in the tuchas. All that, "Hulk is strongest one there is! Hulk smash!" can get real old after awhile. So The Illuminati – a group of self-appointed ultra-important superheroes (Iron Man, Namor, Doctor Strange, Professor Xavier, Reed Richards and Black Bolt) – decide to send Greenskin to an unpopulated planet where he can live out his days in peace and not hurt anyone. But they screw up and send him to a populated planet called Sakaar. While there, Hulk saves the people of Sakaar from an evil warlord and eventually becomes king. There is peace. There is happiness. There is even some Gamma-irradiated sex between the Hulk and his newfound ladyfriend, Caiera the Oldstrong. Then the ship that brought Hulk to Sakaar explodes, killing Caiera and his unborn child. OR SO HE THINKS. Hulk returns to Earth to wreak horrible Hulky vengeance on the "puny humans" that he thinks caused the explosion and the death of his happy alien family life.

This all happens in a series called Planet Hulk, which led to World War Hulk. It's good if you like that kind of thing.

HOWEVER! Hulk's son was not killed! In typical comic-book-nonsense fashion, Caiera has something called the Old Power, which connects her to the planet in a mystical way. Because of this, she is able to protect her child, who becomes a savage beast/teenager (same thing, right?). Or something along those lines.

Anyway, issue #1 of Skaar: Son of Hulk is available now in comic book shops. Is it any good? Eh. It's OK. Will I buy issue #2? Yeah. I will. Cuz I'm a sucker.

image: comiclist.com

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Marvel's greatest sh*t

Let's Play Guess The Photo

This Is What Happens When Geeks Mate

New York Comic Con Photos - Part 2

Brett Singer — Mon, 26 May 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Now that Iron Man has crushed all comers in the summer movie department (sorry, Speed Racer), let us all revel in the great geekiness that was this year's NY Comic Con. Here is the second set of pics from the Con; check out Part 1 here.

Let's start with the coolest item there: lightsaber. At $100, it was too rich for my blood. But oh, was I tempted.

This set of photos was also the only one that made Thing 1 mad; "Dad! Why didn't you buy that?" Now that I've had time to reflect, I kinda wish I had shelled out the cash for a couple of these. They're fun.
The sword was cool, but I preferred the lightsaber.
Geekin' ain't easy! Actually, it was really tiring walking the convention floor. I didn't realize how long I'd been standing until the end of the day when I just wanted to lie down.
Me and one of the Emotes. Not sure which one this is. I was Cranky by this point.
Back to characters I know: Boba Fett from Star Wars. This was a female version, however.
One difference this year was the higher number of female attendees, more specifically female attendees who (a) were not employed by Con exhibitors and (b) did not look like they spent the rest of the year locked in a basement somewhere as a prisoner of geekery.
Comic legend Neal Adams. I spent about an hour with him; I should have the interview ready later this week.
Indiana Jones and his dad (and some other guy.)
I believe these guys were from the NYC chapter of the Jedi Knights. No. I'm not kidding.
Once again -- no idea. Best guess is Final Fantasy or some other video game I don't play. As you can see, a lot of these costumes were very involved. Amazingly, no one seemed remotely interested in taking a break, at least not that I saw. Most of the heavily costumed folks were regular attendees who just wanted to be photographed. Again, harness that energy and you could do almost anything.
The answer to the question, "What if Spidey ate way too many donuts?"
Quick! A girl! Don't let her get away! (Just kidding guys, don't use the choke force on me!) That's a group of Jedi with Princess Lea in her slave-girl outfit.
"Honey, smile. Daddy wants to get his picture on a comic book blog." Again, just kidding. This kid was adorable and seemed to be having a great time.
Superman cheating on Lois with Princess Lea? Say it ain't so, Clark.
Princess Lea was a popular choice. This young lady appears to have answered the question, "What if Princess Lea had been played by Shelley Duvall?"
That's a different Princess Lea (we're up to four, and believe me, there were a lot more), hanging with Boba Fett. When asked why she was palling around with a bounty hunter, she said, "He works for me now."
And we finish with this guy: The King of Burgers meets Star Wars stormtrooper. Just... wrong. And yet, so right.

photos taken by Michael Messer

New York Comic Con Photos - Part 1

Brett Singer — Sun, 25 May 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Now that Iron Man has crushed all comers in the summer movie department (sorry, Speed Racer), let us all revel in the great geekiness that was this year's NY Comic Con. Here are some photos; more to come tomorrow.

Me and Supes (he lets me call him "Supes")
As my wife said, "Honey? You know those statues aren't real, right?"
Hulk! I'm crushing your head! I'M CRUSHING YOUR HEAD!
Ed Norton has nothing on me. Oh wait, he's playing Bruce Banner, not Hulk. And he's an insanely successful actor. Okay, maybe he's got a little something on me.
For some reason this bothered me, I don't know why. Biggie's mom licenses these dolls, so at least she gets money for them. There's something morbid about it, though. I asked the guy at the booth about it and he said they had done lots of rappers, but he admitted that this was the only dead rapper action figure he knew about.
This is me being very confused at the rules for Chaotic, a card/bead/role-playing game. I'll be posting my experience with it soon.
Swear Bear has a filthy mouth and is not for kids. He also has the power to make anyone standing next to him supremely blurry!
Wrong convention, guys. The SCA meeting is next week.
This is what it looked like when they let the general public in (note that this means the earlier shots here are the VIP's.) It was a stampede. If you could harness the energy and excitement for something like the Presidential election, you could make the world a better place. Clearly Obama needs to start campaigning in a cape with a giant "O" on his shirt.
Anyone know what these folks are dressed up as? I don't.
Again: no idea.
This one I know: Nightwing. For the unitiated, Nightwing is who Robin grows up to become when he gets tired of being Batman's sidekick. Then Batman gets a new Robin, who gets himself killed, at which point he gets another new Robin.

Part 2, featuring four different versions of Princess Lea, me holding a lightsaber, and guys in stormtrooper costumes, coming tomorrow.

photos taken by Michael Messer

Free Comic Book Day

Brett Singer — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:30:00 GMT

I love me some comic books, but they are way too expensive. (Not that this stops me from buying them, mind you.) And if they cost too much for me, they definitely cost too much for the average kid.

That's one of the reasons for Free Comic Book Day, which is tomorrow (Saturday, May 3rd). Stores all over the world give away free comics in the hopes of getting more kids interested in funny books. With the "Iron Man" movie opening this weekend, stores will probably be packed, but they usually have a lot of product to give away, so stop by your local shop and see what they've got. By the way, I do mean "all over the world" -- the website lists a store in Malaysia, among other faraway places.

Kid-friendly books include Tiny Titans, Sonic the Hedgehog and The Simpsons.

Age ranges vary, although personally I can say that Tiny Titans is a true all-ages title. It helps if you are into the Teen Titans cartoon and/or the original comics, but Robin riding in the back of the Batmobile asking Alfred if they can stop for ice cream is the level of humor we're talking about. (If you have no idea what that last sentence means, don't bother picking up this one, although your kid might like it.) A nice touch is that the website has PDF previews of most of the books so you can check them out beforehand if you like. Note that not every title being given away is necessarily for young readers. Also note that some stores are even giving away Star Wars and Iron Man toys! For the kids. Not for me. For the kids...

Giveaways vary by location, check freecomicbookday.com for details.

images: freecomicbookday.com

New York Comic Con

Brett Singer — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 15:00:00 GMT

If you're like me, you are (a) follicly challenged, and (b) once a week you go to your local comic shop to purchase the latest adventures of Spider-Man, Batman, Superman and the rest of the long underwear-types. Today - right now, as I type this - I am at the New York Comic Con, which is happening all this weekend at the Javits Center in Manhattan. This is basically Geek Heaven, with thousands of comic books and comic book-related products on display. There are also artists signing merchandise, video game companies hawking the latest and greatest, and even advocacy groups dealing with issues ranging from aging comic book workers who don't have pensions to video gamers who think that parents need to stop buying Mature-rated titles for their kids.

I spent the day at the Con on Friday, interviewing people, playing games and taking pictures of people in extremely detailed Star Wars costumes. Over the next couple of days I'll post my interviews, photos and commentary on this tremendously fun (if a bit nerdy) event. Some of the things I'll be posting are: an interview with comic book legend Neal Adams, a review of the new Shakespeare Manga from Wiley and Sons, along with an interview with Romeo and Juliet illustrator Yali Lin, audio of a Stan Lee press conference, and someone showing me how to play the card game Chaotic.

If you are in the New York area and have kids who love them some Spidey (or Disney, or Manga), Sunday, April 20 is Kids Day at New York Comic Con. Children under 12 get in free with a paying adult. There are cartooning classes, special meet and greets with favorite characters such as PBS Kids' Wordgirl, and even LIGHT SABER TRAINING (for a select few). Check out nycomiccon .com for details, and check back here for my reports.

Help Baby Get Her Geek On

Brett Singer — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:45:00 GMT

Not satisfied with the plain ol' blankies? Want your kid to stand out from the playground crowd? Or are you a geeky parent who wants to dress your spawn in sci-fi/superhero goodness? Baby Leo Designs has your back. Check out the Retrobots blanket, available in sizes ranging from "Security Lovee" (around here we call them "burp cloths") to full-on blanket, or you can get the design on a bib. There's Skullfinity Blue for once and future metalheads, and also the more traditional Funky Monkey or Animal Crackers.

For some real fun, pick up a cape. Oh yes. That's right. A CAPE. "Baby Leo Designs satin capes are lined with supersoft velvet chamois and adorned with retro-cool handsewn woolfelt applique. It has a high neckline with a one-size-fits-all snap closure." No plastic junk for your Superkid, this is the real deal. They don't make them daddy-sized, but maybe that's a good thing.

Everything looks to be custom made, which is always nice. Check 'em out.

Via BoingBoing.

image: BabyLeoDesigns