Strollerderby : girls and self-esteem

3-Year-Olds Getting Their Periods?

Madeline Holler — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 22:27:00 GMT

Here’s something you thought you’d never have to deal with: your 3-year-old going through puberty. Yet it’s a little more common than you think (though, mercifully, still pretty rare).

And it looks like something that doctors might overlook at the well-baby check ups. Somehow, the mothers in this story figured out that their daughters -- their preschoolers! -- we're thiiiiiis close to getting their periods, and then spent a good bit of time and energy convincing their pediatricians.

The average age of puberty for both boys and girls has lowered by two years over the past century.

From the Daily Mail: "In fact, a recent study showed that British girls today start their periods at an average age of ten years and three months, compared to 11 years nine months for their mothers and 12 years for their grandmothers."

But for an untold number, it's happening much earlier than that -- like around 8 years old. And still earlier for a tiny number of those -- at 3. Wow!

Called precocious puberty, endocrinologists don't know why some girls reach this very special time in their young lives at a very alarmingly time in their really young lives. But it can have lasting damages, not just physically -- bones aging rapidly, for example, but also emotionally. Kind of tough coaching a 3-year-old through the changes when she isn't all that facile with language, huh?

Even with the older ones -- like the 8-year-olds, it can be confusing and isolating, some women who developed early as girls say in the article. Plus, they're often much taller, have to use deodorant, get acne (or for boys, grow facial hair) or suffer from cramps when nobody else does.

The good news is that once early onset puberty is diagnosed, it can be controlled with medication, allowing time to catch up with the body and slowing the effects of the early onset puberty.

Momsquak talks about it briefly and trots out the hormones-in-meat theory, but comes to no conclusions. Still, makes you think. Makes you cross your fingers and think.

Photo: Daily Mail

Update on Onslaught: Do We Pay For Hypocrisy?

Kelly Mills — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 16:28:00 GMT

You might remember I posted the "Onslaught" video from Dove last month, and the thing got lots of attention for highlighting how much body image crap our girls get bombarded with daily. But almost as fast as the video hit the internet, there were cries of foul from many corners. See, Dove's parent company Unilever is also responsible for a bunch of cruddy ads, including the spots for Axe deoderant body spray for guys, which imply, to be blunt, that wearing Axe will get you lots of pussy.

I was thinking about this whole thing again after this great op-ed appeared in the Boston Globe. And I think its a real valid question we have to ask ourselves: Can companies highlight issues like how the beauty industry affects girls while also hawking beauty products that don't exactly send a nice message to those same girls? If the Onslaught campaign has a positive effect on people, is that enough, and should we ignore what other arms of Unilever are doing? Was this a case of social consciousness-raising or just clever marketing? Cuz I'm sure this won't be the only corporation caught sending wildly contradictory messages.

What do you think?

Weekly Check-Up: Don't Tease Kids About Weight

Kelly Mills — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 12:30:00 GMT

Here's a disturbing finding: "In a five-year study of more than 2,500 teenagers, researchers found that 44 percent of girls and 29 percent of boys were overweight, habitual binge-eaters or had taken unhealthy measures to lose weight -- such as abusing laxatives, using diet pills or vomiting." Yikes. That is alot of teenagers doing possible longterm damage to their bodies. But before we make the lollipop-headed models in magazines carry all the blame on their frail little shoulders, what factors increased the risk of girls doing the purge or being overweight or trying the liquid-cleanse diet?

Let's put it this way: "Better lay off the ice cream, kiddo, because you are growing a twin." Yep, teasing by a family member raised the prevalence of going extreme with the weight loss attempts by 41 percent. And girls who reported teasing at the beginning of the study were twice as likely to be overweight five years later. And having a mother who dieted was also cited as a risk factor.

If you ever needed a reason to not tease your kid about weight, there it is. And I'll go a step farther and say don't let anyone--not your brother or your mom or your cousins or whoever--give your child a hard time about weight. In fact, if this goes on in your family I'd have a ready retort or game plan, because no kid deserves that kind of crap, and frankly, "It was just a joke" shouldn't be an excuse for cruelty. And once again, the best way to help kids with a healthy body image is to lead by example.

One last finding: "Weight-related problems were less common among girls who said they frequently sat down to meals with their families, and that family meals were a positive, enjoyable experience." And what a great opportunity to show kids that food is not the enemy.

Super Brrrrilliant and Intense Video On What Our Girls See

Kelly Mills — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 12:32:00 GMT

Have you seen the new "Onslaught" campaign spot? I saw this yesterday on the 5 Resolutions blog, I have to hand it to Dove, they are coming out with some great stuff about our media-distorted sense of beauty. This one highlights what our li'l girls see, and well, why half of girls in grades three to five worry about their appearance. I've been thinking about the spot ever since I watched. And cringing for my girl. And wanting to do something--anything--to protect her from this.

I highly recommend you check this out, after the jump.

If you are looking for resources, there's the Dove site, and I'd also advise checking the 5 Resolutions blog. They've been keeping a close watch over the plastic-too-skinny-highly-airbrushed crap we and our kids see every day. And they advocate for healthy beauty. I feel extra passionate about getting behind that right about now.

Suicide Rate Goes Up For Girls, Ages...10 to 14?

Kelly Mills — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 15:56:00 GMT

Here's the heartbreaking news of the day: suicide rates for kids ages 10 to 24, which had decreased since 1990, have now gone up by 8 percent. While rates for girls ages 15 to 19 went up by 32 percent, the biggest jump was in suicides among girls 10 to 14. Good lord, those are still lego and doll years. Now, while we are talking about small numbers here (94 suicides in that age group in 2004, compared to 56 in 2003) think about the fact that kids as young as 10 even have moments of contemplating the end of their lives. Middle school may have been one the lowest points in my existence, but still...ugh.

So why are the numbers going up? Researchers say: Um, we dunno. An decrease in antidepressant use among kids is one possible factor cited (yeah, there's a controversy brewing there,) as is the plain old suckiness and pressure of middle school. Basically it isn't clear yet if this is an anomaly or a trend. And I don't imagine it will be easy to prevent, since the warning signs include "mental illness, alcohol and drug use, family dysfunction and relationship problems." In other words: junior high, for some of us. And as I wrote this, I remembered how crappy that time was, and you know, it got a little easier to understand. But no less depressing.

Skinny Jeans Curse Our Daughters

Kelly Mills — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 18:33:00 GMT

I'd take the rack or thumbscrews over skinny jeans any day. By skinny jeans I mean that denim instrument of self-flagellation some of us keep around and try on from time to time in the vain hope we'll be able to fit into that unmaintainable size, a size we were once however many years ago. In this bit, the author gets a new twist on the skinny jean mind-f*ck, when she squeezes her one-year-old into a pair of pants that were just not designed to accommodate the squishy goodness of a toddler. Aside from the whole issue of mini-adult clothes passing for kid outfits today, the skinny jeans became a reminder of the total nuttiness our girls get about weight and body image and all that. Long live the comfy pants.

Before my kid was born, I lived in fear that I'd pass on my own body-loathing to her. I believed I had to learn to accept every lump and curve of my physique in order to spare her a lifetime of messed-up eating and mirror scrutiny. But while I did not manage to accomplish complete self-acceptance before her arrival, a nice thing has come to pass. When I look at her plump thighs and muscle-y calves, I think they are the most beautiful thing ever. And since she got those from me, I get to turn it around a little. Maybe it's ass-backwards, but it works. And for the record, she's a big fan of elastic waistbands, so there you have it. Not a single pair of skinny jeans in the closet. Yet.

Kylie Minogue's 'Tween Lingerie. Because Every Kid Deserves To Be Sexy, Right?

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 22:27:00 GMT

Kylie Minogue has added her name and star power to a line of underwear that is really lingerie for 8- to 12-year olds who are really still kids. The Love Kylie Princess undies are cheeky (and when I say cheeky, I mean half-ass hanging-outty), sexy, sassy, marketed to girls and sold at KMart, where one night's babysitting money can get you multiple pairs.

I clearly remember being twelve and begging my mother to let me wear suntan pantyhose with my bobby socks and Keds. OK, so it was a bezillion years ago and I was still secretly playing with Barbies. My mother refused. No negotiations, no further discussion. And then she saw a group of girls from my class, all boobs and boyfriends and, of course, suntan panthose. She gave in. She probably knew that I wouldn't be wearing a bra for years, so the nylons were one little step in the direction of womanhood. While I may have jumped at the chance to put my little skinny pre-pubescent booty into a pair of sassy panties back then, I know my mom would have promptly tossed them from the laundry. One little step was one thing for a girl. Frederick's for 'Tweens? I think not.

This pre-breast bud sexualization of girls is disturbing and unecessary for anything other than mass marketers making even more money. I am pretty sure we all know this. Well, except for cash-counting Kylie Minogue and the folks dreaming up glittery intimates for kids who can barely multiply double digit numbers. Of course, the 'tween thing is normalized because girls have already amassed enough images of how and why their (eventual) boobs, (bare) bellies and (bumpin') booties are attention-getting in the form Bratz dolls and other ridiculous products pushed from kindergarten on.

While there are some amazing and empowering programs for girls, we all know it takes a hell of a lot of programming to outshine the allure of big-star promotion of near-thongs and hooker baby dolls. It pisses me off that the natural and normal evolution of girls' sexuality and self-image is interrupted by and preyed upon and I know it doesn't do any of us -- especially girls at a very vulnerable age -- any good at all. I just wish we could go back to the good old days, when purchasing your first fancy underthings from Victoria's Secret was momentous and exciting, and saved for prom. Not to play dress-up for your bat mitzvah.

Body Image Advice Really Tween Marketing

Kelly Mills — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 13:54:00 GMT

There's this particular kind of marketing I just hate: where a company will put out a brochure or press release full of advice and tips, and then slide in a big section on their product and why it is so very appropriate for the very issues at hand. Lots of stuff is marketed to parents this way. There's something about this tactic that feels extra manipulative to me, like if your therapist turned to you mid-session and said, "You know, I think this brand of toothpaste would absolutely help you resolve your issues with your mother." Of course, you already give money to the therapist.

Teen Spirit by Lady Speed Stick deodorant has a whole downloadable "Tween Scene" brochure on how to talk to tween daughters about body image. Teen Spirit deodorant presumably smells like... teen spirit. (Kurt, I miss you.) Some of the advice is okay, like give her a specific compliment every day and support her in physical activity. Other stuff is a joke, like encourage her to smile (creepy mom says brightly "smile, honey!") and get all into IM and suff like that to communicate with her. As if you could ever hope to master tween text messaging shorthand.

Oh, and there's lots of advice on how to bond over buying deodorant, when tweens might need deodorant, that you should show her how to put it on (rocket science, here) and that physically active girls might have more sweat and body odor. Now I just suspect they encouraged sports for girls in an attempt to bring new customers into the fold. So let's amend the earlier statement: this crap sells like teen spirit.