Strollerderby : grandparents

Father's Day Book Pick: Buy Grandpa Time

JeanneSager — Mon, 25 May 2009 15:33:00 GMT

I've always been a fan of kids books for adults on holidays - especially grandparents who can very well buy themselves everything they've ever wanted . . . except time with the grandkids.

Just in time for Father's Day, Kristy Dempsey's Me With You offers grandpas plenty of time to cuddle on the couch with their favorite little munchkin.

A grandcub finds she's comfy just being herself with grandpa bear leading the way, in a story that's filled with gorgeous illustrations and the types of things grandfathers and grandkids do best (picking flowers, playing baseball, you name it . . .). Celebrating the special relationship between grandpas and grandkids, Me With You solves the bigger question - is there anything I can get him for Father's Day that he'll actually use?

How about time with his grandkids?

It's time they'll be looking back on when they paw through his shelves in twenty years so you can read it to their kids.

Though it's technically the tale of a girl cub, the story doesn't have a clear gender and some of the pictures are gender-neutral, which allows the book to find a wider audience. The simple rhymes put this at the earlier end of the four-to-eight age group recommended by publisher Penguin, but kids who enjoy snuggling up to grandpa will overlook the story and just enjoy the ride.

Check out the "video trailer" for the book and get it from Amazon!

Image: Amazon

What They're Babbling About: Bring It On Home

JeanneSager — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:29:00 GMT

Want another helping of our trip around the 'net? As always, we offer up our Friday look at What They're Babbling About:

Tired of tripping over Legos? It doesn't take much convincing that a toy-free room in your house is good for mom and dad. . . if you can convince your kids. - ParentDish

Need a little something to get the girls going (and yes, that's a euphemism guys). Get the breastmilk a flowin' with this list. - LilSugar

Earth Day is every day, so get green with this global craft project - they'll have the whole world in their hands. - Momformation

We have ALL been there - we're finally parents and our parents want to step in and tell us how it's done. Back of Mom! - CafeMom

We've all been here too - moms are addicted to the Internet (er, guilty). So what is it doing to our kids? - Parenting

Get off the computer and get out to the sandbox - and fill it with what? They're building a list, they're making it bigger... - Apartment Ohdeedoh

Image: Momformation

Mom Gets OK to Collect Dead Son's Sperm

JeanneSager — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 15:28:00 GMT

Somewhere in Texas a grandmother-to-be needs to get a grip.

Marissa Evans told a judge she wanted the rights to collect her dead twenty-one-year-old's sperm to make a grandchild because "I want him to live on. I want to keep a piece of him." The worst part? The judge said, yeah, OK, sounds good to me.

What is wrong with this picture? Oh boy, where do we begin? Maybe with the fact that Nikolas Evans is dead. Or with the fact that he was twenty-one when he died. Or how about the fact that this was his mother we're talking about?

Because a guy's random statements that he wanted to have children one day . . . and taking his sperm from his cold, dead body (I'm not being callous here, the judge got involved because they had to guarantee the sperm was gathered before his body cooled to less than 39.2 degree) are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Marissa Evans said her son really wanted to kids one day. He even had names picked out - Hunter, Van and Tod.

It's sad that this man did not get to live out his dreams, sadder still that a life was lost at twenty-one. But let's face it, children are not put on this earth for a parent's sake. We as parents create kids because we want to give them life, provide for them, help make them into productive members of society. It's supposed to be an unselfish act; living for someone else. Unfortunately, we all know too many parents who look to their kids to do for them instead of the other way around.

And that's just what Marissa Evans is expecting of an as-yet-unborn child. She wants them to replace her son, to give her a link to something she very sadly lost. Can you imagine the burden put on that tiny person's shoulders? An adult is pinning hopes and dreams on a child, who has no control over how similar or dissimilar they'll be to their dead parent.

She's not the first - a couple in New York just recently lost the fight to use their dead son's sperm to impregnate a surrogate, because they wanted to do the exact same thing. That fight was lost at the surrogacy stage, and hopefully this one will be too - or, better yet, when Marissa Evans moves past the denial stage of the grieving process, she'll realize she cannot bring her son back.

What do you think Babble readers? Would you be shooting lightning bolts downward if someone got hold of your sperm or eggs and wanted to make babies after your death?

Image: CyprusIVF

Don't Let Your Kids Grocery Shop With Grandma

JeanneSager — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 21:24:00 GMT

Are there any four words in the English language worse than, "But Grandma lets me?"

In our case, it's technically Oma, but you get the point.

Because now, when you repeat the words "No, you may not have the plastic egg filled with candy that the oh-so-ingenius grocery store designers have placed at eye level," you will sound like the heavy. The meanie. The grinchiest grinch from grinchville.

Because Grandma - or Oma, or Granny, or Nana - bought them an egg LAST week on the trip to the grocery store, filled with little bunnies whose ears loop together like an Easter version of the barrell of monkeys you weren't allowed to have twenty years ago (but asked for, on more than one occasion).

So you try explaining, "No, you already have an egg."

"But I want anoooother one," they tell you (insert exagerated eye roll).

"You don't need one."

"But I want one. Please, please, pretty please." Which, you all know, works when you're informing them they cannot have another cookie until they say "please," so why won't it work this time?

I could relate the entire conversation, complete with the fit at the tail end, right near the cash register where the older women who work part-time during the day while the teen cashiers are in high school stand, clucking and whispering, "Oh, but she asked so nicely, and isn't she a doll?"

No, she didn't get an egg. I'm the grinchiest grinch from grinchville, and as soon as I get ahold of Oma, I'm cancelling all future visits to the grocery store.

Image: Slashfood

School Kids Get Exercise Balls Instead of Chairs

The Newest Form of Discipline: Licking

Boomer Grandmothers: Out of Control?

Kate Tuttle — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 16:30:00 GMT

You knew it had to happen. As the baby boom generation continues its lifelong parade of self-obsession, marveling at each passing milestone as if they were the first and only people to achieve them, it was inevitable that grandparenting, now that the boomers are entering the 60+ territory, would become their frontier and muse.

Some of this is downright terrifying, especially to those who were the children of baby boomers and are now trying to be, you know, parents. As we navigate pregnancy, childbirth, those early infant days and the growth of our toddlers and preschoolers, the last thing we need is the presence of our mother or mother-in-law making it all about her. I mean, heck yes, if your child has a grandmother who wants to help – from babysitting to pampering the new mom to contributing to the 329 plan – that’s great. But the boomer grandmothers often have a different agenda. They want complete access to their grandchild, whether they’re going to help or not. They want to offer endless advice and expertise, which they somehow think is different than the advice and expertise that bugged them when offered 30-some years ago by their own parents (because they think they’re cool, they came of age in the 60s, blah blah blah). They want, at least some of them, a grandmother shower so that they receive gifts and accolades for an accomplishment that, somehow, previous generations took for granted.

A new anthology allows these boomer grannies to fully express their awe and amazement at having reached this point in their lives. Eye of My Heart: The Hidden Perils and Pleasures of Being a Grandmother comes out next month, with essays by nearly thirty writers, including Elizabeth Berg, Lynne Sharon Schwartz, Bharati Mukherjee, and Jill Nelson. Some are predictably cringe-worthy, as when Anne Roiphe writes about how she’s learned not to give advice to her daughters as they raise their babies – as if she deserves a medal for not pointing out that back in her day, babies didn’t need car seats. But most are very sweet and a few will take your breath away, as when Molly Giles writes about visiting her imperious, persnickety niece in Europe. Or when Susan Shreve describes the time-warping nature of life with small children, after she takes her grandson Theo for a day:

…I didn’t remember what a whole day with a child was like. The first day I had Theo to myself in New York it felt like a month. (This, even though with my own children it seemed as if the whole of their childhoods from start to finish had been over in a heartbeat.)

Anthology editor Barbara Graham sums it up in a way that made me wish she were my mother-in-law when she says that her son and his wife “are writing their own story – and though I’m certain to show up in the unfolding plot, I am not a central character.” I’m guessing she didn’t feel the need for a grandmother shower – and I’m guessing she’s a pretty wonderful grandmother.

More by this author:

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Think Your Baby's Car Seat Is Safe? Think Again

California Daycare Closed; Worker Was Mocking Kids' Genitals

"Angels in Waiting" Apparently Still Waiting

When Grandma Says No Thanks to Baby Care

Shannon LC Cate — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 15:00:00 GMT

We've probably all got the image in our mind of what happens when one woman's "baby" has a baby of her own: A glowing new grandmother rushes to her daughter's home and settles in for a week at least--cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, coaching the new mother on breastfeeding, swaddling and bathing her new bundle of joy. Later, grandma cheerfully offers to babysit, goading "you two go out and have fun! Don't worry about a thing! You deserve it!"

I'm not sure where this little fairy tale comes from, but it's a far cry from the reality for many new parents.

The New York Times reports that plenty of grandmothers are not interested in hands-on care of their grandchildren and some new parents resent it.

Now I take every "trend" reported by the New York Times with a big grain of salt. But just for the sake of argument, let's say they're spot-on this time. Let's say new grandmas don't change diapers and their daughters and daughters-in-law are resentful and disappointed about that.

I can't say I blame grandma. Would I love free, loving childcare for my kids? Sure, who wouldn't? But I also appreciate that my own parents are still in the workforce and my in-laws are too old and infirm for the care of young children. But even if all the grandparents were retired and spry, haven't they earned their time to relax and be free of the day-to-day work of young children's care? I know I am looking forward to having some of that freedom myself someday, having put in my own time as the go-to mama of babes. I consider any help from friends and relatives in the care of children to be gravy. Sure it takes a village to raise a child, but every villager doesn't need to be put on the diapering rota. Each member of a family or extended group of friends has something to offer. It need not be grunt labor.

So let's take the pulse here on Babble and talk back to the Times. What's our trend? Do your parents and in-laws pitch in a little or a lot with your children? How does the level of help line up with your expectations or hopes?

Court Nixes Couple's Request for Dead Son's Sperm

JeanneSager — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:01:00 GMT

The parents of a man dead since 1998 won't be fulfilling their last minute dreams to have a grandchild - a New York court just nixed their request to use the dead man's sperm to make a baby.

Ah, common sense prevails somewhere in New York.

Mark Speranza banked sperm at a lab in 1997 before undergoing treatment for cancer; he wanted to be able to father a child if he survived the battle. Unfortunately, Speranza died in January 1998. He'd ordered the semen samples to be destroyed if he died, but his parents had filed to be allowed use of the sperm.

They wanted to impregnate a surrogate mother with their son's semen so they could become grandparents. It sounds like a storyline ripped from a recent episode of Private Practice (although, on the show, the sick kid was still alive and wanted to have a baby . . . her parents were eager for a grandchild and happy to go along with their teenage daughter getting pregnant before she died).

What's bizarre to me is the fact that this case wasn't thrown out simply because Speranza had directed his sperm to be destroyed upon his death. Apparently his request wasn't enough. Instead, a state law that requires a father provide blood tests before his stored semen is used to impregnate a surrogate played a role. Because Speranza was dead, a Manhattan judge said the family would have been violating state law.

Shouldn't a man's request of what be done with his semen be enough? After all, we reserve the right to sign up as organ donors or not - our parents can't come waltzing in after our death to announce that old cousin Charlie needs a kidney and there's a fresh set just lying there on the table. A guy couldn't be forced to have sex to make a baby, he shouldn't be forced after his death to make a baby he didn't ask for.

And what would this do to a child - to know his grandparents/custodial parents disregarded his dad's wishes to make him? It sounds like a set of people who are very sad to have lost their son - but need to realize they can't replace him with his child.

Image: CyprusIVF

OctoMom Video Blog at RadarOnline

Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:00:00 GMT

I don't want to be mean here. I really don't. But I'm starting to feel sorry for Nadya Suleman and her children.

I really think she needs help. I don't mean financial help. Help from a doctor not named Phil.

In a new video blog posted exclusively at RadarOnline, she says "I want to be private." She means that she doesn't want people to know where she lives, because clearly she doesn't want to be, you know, actually private. "Being in the field I'm in, I know there's a lot of emotionally disturbed people in the world…I have trust issues."

She's not worried about anything, she's not overwhelmed. She's hiring help. The other moms are supportive, everything is FINE.

What?

You see her interacting with her children, who don't seem all that happy. The tape feels like an audition reel for a reality show.

Other highlights, in case you can't bear to watch the video:

-   New house, a rental. "I'm doing it myself," meaning no help from anyone. Unclear how it's possible to rent a 2800 square foot house with no job.
-    MSNBC says that the video "shows Suleman struggling to speak as one of her older six kids bites her, pulls her hair and slaps her in the face," but I didn't see anything terribly unusual. I mean, the kids don't look thrilled by the camera and are eventually ushered out of the room (presumably to a very weary grandmother, but you don't see that). Still, the kids' behavior looks like a kid trying to get mommy's attention.
-   This part I will just quote: "Suleman said her older children are already jealous of the octuplets. When a friend showed the kids a picture of their new siblings, 'they hit the picture,' Suleman said." Oy vey.

Also bizarre are her hand-written blog entries. In this one she talks about meeting Dr. Phil. (Because that's really what a mother of 14 should be thinking about.) By not typing her entries for her, Radar clearly wants us to see Nadya's nutty side. (Read the PDF file here.)

It's all fairly disturbing, actually. Hard to look, hard to look away.

Source: MSNBC, RadarOnline

OctoMom Says Denis Beaudoin is Not OctoDad

Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

"Angels in Waiting" Apparently Still Waiting

OctoMom Loathes Being Pregnant

OctoMom Rejects Angels In Waiting Offer

Brett Singer — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:05:00 GMT

According to RadarOnline, Nadya OctoMom Suleman has rejected an offer from the group Angels In Waiting to "provide her with a temporary new home for six months."

Angels offer was pretty sweet. According to Radar: "around the clock individualized care by pediatric nurses and other early intervention professionals for her octuplets and their six other siblings." This is in addition to giving them A PLACE TO LIVE. Remember that the house she currently lives in -- her parents' -- is facing foreclosure.

Gloria Allred is all red with frustration -- actually, I don't know if that's true but I wanted to write that. Sorry. We'll learn how she feels later today when the attorney to the weird gives a press conference.

I can understand not accepting help from people for various reasons. In this case, I think Suleman should take what she can get, especially since she's already asking for help from anyone who is willing. So why turn this one down? Is it that she doesn't like Allred? She also seems to be rejecting offers of help from Denis Beaudoin, who said he'd give Nadya some money even if he wasn't the father. Can she really afford to be so, you know, choosy?

Commenter FoxyMoxie (thanks for the tip!) says that Allred will discuss the "'disturbing' phone conversations" she has had with the OctoMom. I mean, will this thing ever end?

Source: RadarOnline

Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

"Angels in Waiting" Apparently Still Waiting

OctoMom Loathes Being Pregnant

Brett Singer — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

When lawyers represent mostly accident victims, we call them ambulance chasers. What about a shrink who only wants to talk to screwed up people who get lots of media coverage? We need a name for them. Oh wait -- there is one. Dr. Phil.

Yes, the man that Oprah unleashed on the world is at it again. This time he's chatting with Nadya Suleman. You know. The OctoMom! Where ya been, people? This is the only important news story in the world right now. Pay attention.

Here's a little video to whet your appetite:

Doesn't she sound like a delusional 'American Idol' contestant? It's not that you're single. It's that you're single, intentionally had TONS of babies, and have no way to support them. It's irresponsible. How much time could you possibly be spending with any of your kids, the six you already had or the octuplets, if you're always out doing interviews?

This quote was the one that got me:

When Dr. Phil asked her if she was addicted to being pregnant, Nadya responding [sic] saying, no, she absolutely loathes being pregnant and she looked into adoption after her third pregnancy.

She LOATHES being pregnant. So…why do it again? And again? (Reminds me of another Dr. Phil 'patient', Britney Spears -- 'Oops, I did it again / I had 8 more kids…')

And by the way. Of course you loathed being pregnant. You were pregnant with eight babies! That's like carrying around a Humvee in your stomach!

Having never been pregnant, I can safely say that I have no idea how it feels. But many of the women I've spoken to say that they do love it, at least at times. The baby kicking, the life growing inside of you -- that sort of thing.

Since I have no idea, I'll ask the moms out there -- did you "loathe" being pregnant like Nadya?

Source: EverythingOprah

Image: Me

Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

OctoMom Receives Death Threats

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

UPDATE: GMA Snags an Interview with The Octuplet’s Baby Daddy!

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

OctoMom Says Denis Beaudoin is Not OctoDad

Brett Singer — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:00:00 GMT

So you know that interview with Denis Beaudoin where he claimed to be the OctoDad? Nadya Suleman says that his pants, they are on fire. By that I mean he's lying, according to OctoMom. Suleman's new spokesperson Victor Munoz says that "Denis is definitely not the father."

What nobody is denying is that Denis donated sperm to Suleman on three different occasions. According to OctoPublicist Munoz, Denis twice "gave Suleman a sperm sample at home, which she held between her breasts to keep warm." Then a THIRD time, Denis "was brought to a fertility clinic after Suleman told him she had cancer and they were going to see a doctor." The sperm was placed directly into her womb, there were no embryos created, aaaaand… that's it. I'm done.

OK, one more detail. David Solomon is listed as the father of the oldest of Nadya's first 6 children, and Munoz says that there is one father for all 14 kids. But he won't confirm or deny that said father is Solomon.

Oh, and the hospital might not release the octuplets to Nadya. Seems they're concerned that she won't be able to care for them properly. So she called Dr. Phil. No. Really.

AHHHH!!!!

I'd call this a train wreck, but that's insulting because I kind of like trains. But I have to admit that I'm fascinated because there seem to be more details every other minute. It truly is… the never ending story.

Too much drama. Having kids is dramatic enough. Why include all of this other crap?

Source: ABC News

Image: Me, using Photoshop, using this from Amazon

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

OctoMom Receives Death Threats

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

UPDATE: GMA Snags an Interview with The Octuplet’s Baby Daddy!

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

Gloria Allred Offers To Help OctoMom

Brett Singer — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 19:47:00 GMT

Remember Gloria Allred? No? Lucky you.

She's an attorney with a knack for representing clients involved with high-profile cases, such as Amber Frey (Scott Peterson), and the family of Nicole Brown Simpson (O.J.). She also made headlines when she took the controversial stance of questioning Michael Jackson's parenting skills. (That was sarcasm.) She actually went so far as to request that California Child Protective Services investigate how he treats his kids. (That, unfortunately, is true.)

Well, the media-loving lawyer is back and she wants to help out OctoMom Nadya Suleman's kids. MomLogic reports that Allred has a "plan to 'provide for the medical and emotional needs'" of all 14 members of her brood.

Through the charity Angels In Waiting, Allred says that the family can receive the help that they need without relying on public funds, although they will need private donations.

While it's obvious that Allred is a publicity hound (there are other, less polite words one could use, of course), Angels In Waiting seems to be a worthy organization. (Note: I haven't done a lot of research into the group, just a cursory skimming of their web site.) So in theory there is a positive outcome from Allred's actions. Still, why not be a champion for children all the time? Why does it only matter when there's a camera around? The OctoMom story is fascinating, but it's also very sad. The last thing those kids need is someone else trying to get famous off of them.

What do you think – is Allred legit? Or should she, you know, quit? (Apologies for the extremely dated reference.)

Image/Source: MomLogic

OctoMom Receives Death Threats

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

OctoMom Says No Dating For Her

Brett Singer — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Remember the movie "The Neverending Story"? Nadya Suleman is starring in a real-life version.

Every day, heck, every hour, there a new detail emerges. I have two kids and never have enough time to do the things I need to do. Suleman, with six at home and eight more in the hospital, seems to have plenty of time to do interviews with anyone who wants her. (Maybe we should take Shannon's advice.)

ParentDish reports that the OctoMom told British newspaper The Sun that she will not date anyone until her youngest child turns 18. (Does that mean all eight of the new ones? Or just the kid that came out last? The mind boggles.)

She also said that she "can't remember" the last time she went on a date. Um, Nadya? You've said that you met the father/donor of your numerous offspring at a nightclub. Did that not count as a date? Maybe it was Girls' Night Out. ("Let's go, GNO…" – or should that be GYNO? G'night, ladies and gentlemen.)

So no hanky-panky for OctoMom for the next 18 years, adding to the 8 years that she has already done without. I guess The Bachlorette will have to look elsewhere for their next star.

Her reasoning is equally bizarre. "Boyfriends? I think I'd have to be extremely selfish. I cannot maintain a social life and be a mother. To even take one percent of every night and devote it to someone else, a stranger, would be wrong. I have to wait for that until my youngest have left school."

Is there a point when a journalist is going to ask Nadya about the charges leveled against her by, you know, her own mom and dad? That whole "she doesn't take care of the six kids she already has" thing? I guess not.

Source: ParentDish

Image

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

Really Wanna Let Octomom Have it? Leave Her Alone

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

OctoMom Receives Death Threats

Brett Singer — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 16:00:00 GMT

I'm no fan of Nadya "OctoMom" Suleman, the OctoDoc, and I particularly dislike her publicists.

But death threats?

According to ETOnline (and every other news outlet on the planet, because there is NOTHING ELSE HAPPENING IN THE WORLD), OctoMom and her kids have gone into hiding because of "several hostile telephone and email messages." The octuplets are still in the hospital.

Publicist Michael Furtney actually uses the term "undisclosed location" when describing where Suleman is. We don't like him.

Bottom line: I think that people who send a threatening emails or makes hostile phone calls to Nadya, or anyone else, are reprehensible and should be arrested (assuming those threats are illegal; I'm not a lawyer, although I have played one on TV, sort of – long story). At the same time, I imagine Suleman could have cut down on the number of hateful messages she is receiving by not doing national television interviews. Setting up a web site didn't help either. Just a thought.

SOURCE

The Poor Man's Angelina Jolie?

Ann Curry Scores Interview with Octuplet's Mom

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

Octuplet Mom Launches Donation Website

Octomom and Her Bulging Pregnant Belly – Photos!

Only Child Syndrome Doesn't Explain Octo-Mom

OctoDoc Under Investigation

Brett Singer — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:00:00 GMT

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine is investigating Dr. Michael Kamrava for implanting a heckuva lot of embryos into Nadya "OctoMom" Suleman.

The California Medical Board was already investigating the OctoDoc, and they had not made his name public. But as we pointed out yesterday, local news outlet KTLA interviewed Kamrava and his baby-loving patient in 2006. In her interview with Ann Curry, Suleman said that the same doc performed all of her IVF procedures. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

Dr. Kamrava allegedly implanted eight embryos into Suleman. According to reports, "No more than three embryos are considered the norm for a woman her age." So OctoDoc may have done something very naughty.

Is anyone else a little stunned at the speed this story is happening? It really feels like every day a couple of new details emerge. Sorry to be catty but I bet Nadya is loving every minute of it. Sad.

Source: ThisIsLondon

Image: SpiderVillian.com

The Poor Man's Angelina Jolie?

Ann Curry Scores Interview with Octuplet's Mom

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

VIDEO-OctoMom And Doctor From Two Years Ago

Brett Singer — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:30:00 GMT

Turns out Ann Curry didn't get the first interview with Nadya Suleman, the OctoMom.

KTLA (Fox TV in Los Angeles) interviewed the alleged Angelina Jolie wanna-be two and a half years ago, back in 2006. They also spoke to the man who performed the IVF, one Dr. Michael Kamrava of the West Coast IVF Clinic in Beverly Hills.

The doctor's name hadn't yet been released since the California Medical Board doesn't identify sawbones that are under investigation. So while it's not confirmed that Kamrava performed the most recent IVF on Suleman, she told Ann Curry that she used the same doctor for each of her in vitro pregnancies. It's a "do the math" kind of thing.

More details:

- One of her publicists (she appears to have at least two although I can't quite tell) says that she receives about $500 per month in food stamps despite saying that she is not "on welfare." Suleman also gets federal assistance for three of her pre-octuplet children who are disabled. (One is autistic, according to a former nanny.) Of those payments, Michael Furtney says, "They are part of programs designed to help people with need, and she does not see that as welfare." Somewhere spinmeister general Sidney Falco is laughing. Hey, at least Furtney is getting his client some decent media coverage.

- KTLA has the names of her other six children: 7-year-old Elijah Makai Solomon (boy), 6-year-old Amerah Yasmeen Solomon (girl), 5-year-old Joshua Jacob Solomon (boy), 3-year-old Aidan Solomon (boy), 2-year-old Calyssa Arielle Solomon (girl, twin), 2-year-old Caleb Kai Solomon (boy, twin)

- Why is their last name Solomon? Because that's who the donor father is.

- Angela Suleman, Nadya's mom (OctoGranny, anyone?) told RadarOnline that "David Solomon was the biological father of all 14 children, but that [Nadya] refused to marry him," although David wanted to marry Nadya. Hey, why not? They have very similar names.

There are too many tidbits to include. For now, watch the video from 2006. There will be more to come, I'm sure.

Source/Video link: KTLA

Image

Ann Curry Scores Interview with Octuplet's Mom

VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

Twenty-Year-Old Kidnapping Solved

Kate Tuttle — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:59:00 GMT

A California judge will decide today whether Marvin Maple, now known as John Bunting, will be sent back to Tennessee to face kidnapping charges for taking two of his grandchildren from their parents back in 1989. Maple and his late wife had been caring for two of their daughter Debbie's kids while her husband was pursuing a divinity degree out of state. They had sought custody of the children -- at the time, ages seven and eight -- alleging abuse by the parents. When a court found no evidence of abuse, the grandparents took the children and fled, moving to California and renaming the children (formerly Bobby and Christie) Jonathan and Jennifer Bunting.

Now in their twenties, Jennifer and Jonathan Bunting have not spoken to the press about their situation, but it's expected they will meet with their parents and two additional siblings at some point. It's not yet clear what kind of brainwashing Maple carried out when he removed the children from their parents, but it seems likely there was some.

The case, which had languished in the Rutherford County Sheriff's Office Cold Case Unit, was broken thanks to someone's affection for old, corny television shows. Late in December, a tipster who was watching an old episode of Unsolved Mysteries that mentioned the missing Baskin kids and reported seeing them in the San Diego area in around 2000. Detective Sgt. Dan Goodwin in Tennessee contacted newspapers in the San Diego area and asked them to run stories soliciting sightings and encouraging the public to contact Tennessee authorities. Eventually this led to a email from San Jose, where a neighbor of Maple's had seen the coverage and wanted to right a long-past wrong.

Back when the Baskin children were taken from their parents, there was a national hysteria over abuse, with dozens of false abuse charges -- many involving allegations of Satanic rituals -- clogging the courts. In addition, there was a growing movement of grandparents' rights, in which children were often used as a pawn in power struggles between two generations of adults with different ideas about how kids should be raised. Seen in this context, it's not that surprising that the Baskin case happened -- but it's a wonderful surprise that it was solved. It may take years and tons of counseling to help this family heal from what happened to it, but that process can now begin.

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VIDEO-Octo Mom Publicist On GMA

Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:00:00 GMT

In an interview on Good Morning America, Nadya Suleman's publicist Joann Killeen proved something. Namely, that if you want someone to say something nice about you, you need to pay them.

Killeen appeared on Good Morning America on Tuesday, and she had nothing but praise for the mother of 14.

"My client is a wonderful woman. She's smart, she's bright, she's articulate, she's well-educated and she has a wonderful sense of humor."

Of course, Killeen might make some money out of this whole thing. Unlike Suleman's parents, who reportedly had to file for bankruptcy because of they are raising the six kids that Suleman already had. Suleman's own mother says she's a little loopy. (I'm paraphrasing.)

The babies have been named but "we are not revealing that yet," says Killeen. Killeen says that Nadya is "working professional", which contradicts every other report that has been published so far. (Diane Sawyer doesn't ask what that job is, which seems like a missed opportunity.) Sawyer's first question is about whether or not Suleman has held the babies and, of course, is she breast-feeding yet? Sawyer also wonders how it can be that Suleman has no negative feelings about this whole experience, she's just "happy and joyful for the miracle of life." It's not exactly a hard-hitting interview, but it's not horrible. It's definitely worth watching if you can manage to get through it without screaming at your computer screen.

In The Whittier Daily News, Suleman's local newspaper, Killeen denies that Suleman is asking for $2 million for her first interview and wants it to be with Diane Sawyer or Oprah Winfrey. The exact quote actually isn't exactly a denial: "That's pure speculation." That doesn't mean it isn't true.

Also from the local paper: the publicist "pointed out that the week-old babies are now the longest surviving octuplets in the world." Meaning that most of the time, octuplets don't survive. So transferring that many embryos is a good idea? (Thanks to Sheri for the correction.)

This is the key detail to take away from this story: Nadya Suleman "is now the mother of 10 boys and four girls younger than 8. All were born by in vitro fertilization." She lives with her parents. What the hell?

Is it fair for us to judge Suleman? Or is everyone entitled to have as many babies as they want, regardless of the reason and method?

Sources: ABC News, Whittier Daily News

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Octuplet Mom Wants TV Career

Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

The amazing thing about "Octuplet Mom" Nadya Suleman is not that she wants to be on television. It's that she has OFFERED her services to Oprah and Diane Sawyer. As ParentDish puts it, "the opportunity to tap her parental wisdom."

What could she possibly have to offer? How to have an irresponsible number of children via IVF? How to get your parents to raise the kids for you while you stay in school? She's 33 years old and still a "full-time student." Her own mother thinks that she is "obsessed with babies."

UPDATE: Watch Nadya Suleman's publicist get interviewed by Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America.

It's all bad. I'm not saying that all mothers have to be married. But how is it responsible to go to a fertility clinic to have more children when you already have six that you can't support? And then spend time trying to get famous?

(Aside: the word "octuplets" doesn't appear in my spell check dictionary. Just saying.)

Ugh. I'm sorry to get all high handed but just… ugh.

Sources: NYPost, ParentDish

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Your Assignment for This Weekend

Madeline Holler — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 00:01:00 GMT

Even if you don't get cable TV -- and no judgment if you don't! -- you won't likely be negatively affected by the upcoming digital TV conversion. Why not? Because you're at least minimally tech savvy (you're reading a website, so I'm just assuming ...) and you're television is probably from this millennium.

But know who will be affected? Your grandma, her friends, maybe that old guy who lives one floor down. Anybody who is not familiar with software menus and a little tech talk. Because no matter what those public service announcements say, converting to digital is NOT that simple.

Just plug and go, right? No. Not at all. You plug and then go ... to a menu of options with lots of different terms like "analog" and "digital" and "scanning for channels" and "do you want to quit" and then a bunch of other stuff even you don't know the function of. To even get to the menu of options that I am invisioning many seniors won't understand anyway, you have to know where to find a menu. Also, they'll need to use a remote for the digital box, not the familiar one that came with their now ancient TV.

Everything you hear about the problems with the conversion focus on the $40 coupons now no longer available to offset the cost of the digital box. What doesn't get mentioned are this middle steps, which won't be intuitive to many of the folks affected.

So why am I writing about this on a parenting website? Because grandparents and that old guy are/were/might be parents too. And anyway, we're the sandwich generation -- we take care of kids AND adults. So you need to check and make sure the aging adults you know are all set to go. You need to walk them through it over the phone or spend some very frustrating minutes over at their house, in front of that dinosaur in a wooden cabinet, getting them all set up.

Also, even with the digital box, if they were using an antenna before, they'll need it now more than ever. A lot of the digital signals are in need of boosting, which will cost money and isn't likely to happen. So expect some channels to no longer come in.

Congress has really downplayed this and I think made a mistake by not delaying the conversion. Sure, a lot of people will just bail and get cable. But in this economy, some people can't or won't.

The only thing sadder than an old person who sits around watching TV all day is an old person watching a blank screen all day.

There, I said my piece. Now go do your thing!

Photo: NYTimes.com

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JeanneSager — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 17:26:00 GMT

A set of grandparents - ages forty-six and fifty-nine - have been told they're too old to adopt their addict daughter's two kids. Outrageous, I know.

But as heartbreaking as the tale of grandparents torn from their grandchildren seems, the story of their plight in the Daily Mail is almost as bad.

Instead of breaking down the bizarre notion that forty-six is somehow too old to parent, the tabloid tells a tale of grandparents done wrong by a system that would allow a gay couple to adopt these people's grandkids.

Who cares?

To me, the real meat of the story are the strange rules for potential adoptive parents in the UK. Shannon reported recently on the 'derby about a couple denied adoption because the father-to-be was extremely overweight; prompting the question of whether the UK is more concerned with the potential of a parent's death than their ability to actually parent.

In this case, the little girl and little boy are five and four; their mother is a twenty-six-year-old heroin addict who has been ruled an unfit parent. The grandparents have been trying for two years to become the childrens' legal parents, stopping only recently when legal bills became too much to handle. They said they were told if they didn't agree to the adoption with the gay couple, they would likely never see the children again.

Evidence has shown that keeping children with relatives is often the best option; making adoption outside of the family the next best (not bad, necessarily, just not as good). So why not let the kids stay with their grandparents in Edinburgh?

The (admittedly biased) Daily Mail piece says this is all about age. Life expectancy for women in Scotland is seventy-nine. It's seventy-four for men. The grandfather is the elder - at fifty-nine. If he lives as long as the average Scottish man, he's still got fifteen years left on this earth - enough time to follow the youngest grandchild to the age of maturity. Grandma is the younger, she's got as good a chance as any woman to live another thirty-three years on this planet; she could see them not only graduate but get married and have kids.

They have health issues - Grandpa with angina, Grandma with diabetes. But those aren't being blamed for the decision to keep the kids from their grandparents; and, depending on the severity, would seem the more pressing issues.

Then there's the gay adoption issue. The article makes a big deal to point out that the grandparents are homophobic, but Grandpa talks about how awful it is that the kids won't have a mother figure and Grandma makes a point to say that the little girl is "wary of men." Ironic - because they're pushing for a heterosexual couple to adopt the kids, which, last time I checked, would include a man!

The article also makes reference to research that has supposedly shown children fare better with a mother AND a a father - research that has been contradicted by other research saying children of gay couples fare just as well - which brings us back to the crux of UK adoption policies. Are they pushing for two parents? Gay adoption is legal in the UK (fortunately), but are they being chosen not because they can best care for the kids but because there's two of them?

Image: Daily Mail

Do You Let Your Kids Cheat?

JeanneSager — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:55:00 GMT

My in-laws came to town for the requisite weekend of spoiling, and left as always, some new habits with my daughter.

The artificial southern accent will go away soon enough (to my displaced southern husband's chagrin). It's the cheating I'm worried about.

Because, in true grandparenting style, my father-in-law let our daughter win at every game of Go Fish. But he didn't just bumble his play. He let her reach over and pick cards out of his hand. He let her shift through the "fishing" pile. He let her run right over him.

I've been asking around, and most people tell me to just ignore it. She's three; it will go away. It's cute.

Yes, she's three, and I don't expect that one game of cards is going to ruin her for the rest of her life. But shouldn't I be breaking this bad habit now? Maybe I'm reading a little too much into a pile of cards covered in different kinds of fish, but I can already see a life's obsession with having her way and always getting to win. She's already an only child, and we're aware of that slippery "spoiled only child" slope that we have to navigate. Letting her get away with cheating at cards seems like it would put at least one foot on the sandy edge of that slope.

Is it really OK to encourage a three-year-old to cheat because "it's cute?" What happens at five or six, when it stops being cute and starts becoming obnoxious?

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When Grandma Wants to Be 'Glamma'

Jen Chaney — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 21:28:00 GMT

As Shirley MacLaine made abundantly clear in "Terms of Endearment," not everyone immediately gets jazzed about being dubbed a grandmother. It's a signal that you are undeniably, unequivocally old, the sort of person who keeps a pair of square-framed glasses perched at the tip of her nose and has lengthy conversations about arthritis pain.

But as the Wall Street Journal reports, some Baby Boomer grandparents are rejecting the dentures-and-early-bird-dinner trap. How? By refusing to call themselves Grandpa, Grandma, Granny, Bubbe or any of those other Oldy McOlderson monikers that stand in stark contrast to the forever-young attitude of their generation. Some of the alternatives they're going with: Papa Doc (for a grandfather who happens to be a doctor), Coco (an homage to Coco Chanel) and -- for my money, the most ridiculous -- Glamma, the "glam" version of Grandma.

I have no problem with bucking tradition. I also completely understand why someone might want to put his or her personal stamp on grandparenthood. But at the same time, it seems a bit absurd to try to "young up" that important new role. I mean, Glamma? Really? Something about that choice reminds me of those 57-year-old woman who still try to shop in the juniors department. It seems to me there must be a way to stay young at heart and age gracefully, but still acknowledge the fact that you are, indeed, aging.

Then again, this could be one of those things that's all about context. When you personally know the people choosing these nicknames, and they aren't being depicted in an article that lumps them together with all those stubborn Baby Boomer stereotypes, their choices might seem much less inane. Plus, 25 years from now -- when I decide to call myself Super Nana -- I might find Glamma much less goofy.

But what do you think? Do you know any grandparents who have given themselves hipper sounding names? Do you embrace the idea or think Grandma and Grandpa still works just fine?

Image: senior-monitor.com

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Desperately Seeking . . . Grandparents

JeanneSager — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 16:39:00 GMT

There's no question kids who have them love their grandparents - they spoil them rotten. But if your parents are gone, or might as well be, would you be willing to use the term "grandparent" loosely?

What about letting a perfect stranger stand in, just so your kids can have a grandparent?

A growing number of parents are doing just that. They're setting up personal ads; only instead of "SBF seeks SM for long walks on the beach, non-smoking, non-freaks" they're advertising for older folks who have been aching for a youngster to play with.

Matthew Gray, deputy director of the Australian Institute of Family Studies, says it's largely distance and family breakdowns keeping kids and grandparents apart, but also playing a major role are the parents who have put off babymaking. The older first-time parents are, the older their own parents are - leaving grandchild-hungry parents waiting, and sometimes leaving first-time parents without their own Mom and Dad when they're finally ready to start having children.

But parents are no less interested in exposing their kids to another generation, and those who live far away from their own parents still need the extra hand that a grandparent who is nearby is often willing to offer. Hence the advertising.

"I've got two small children now and my father lives away from us and my partner's mother is not very involved," Debbie Fitzsimmons told Australia's Daily Telegraph. "I grew up with two sets of grandparents which I benefited from big time."

Other parents say the process is equally beneficial to the surrogate grandparents; after all, being with the young is said to keep you young. For older folks who don't have family nearby, simply having a young family around to check up on them can go far in helping them maintain mental acuity and a connection with the outside world. In turn, the kids learn the importance of community and caring for our geriatric population - besides the stories of days gone by and the candies palmed when Mom isn't looking.

Would you consider adopting a grandparent or letting one adopt you so your kids can have that experience?

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Grandpa Hires Hitman So He Can Visit Granddaughter

JeanneSager — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 21:45:00 GMT

How can you say no to a Grandpa who just wants to see his little granddaughter? When he's the type of guy who'd hire a hitman to rough you up for it, I'd say you have some pretty good grounds.

David Ward of Pacific, Missouri, has been accused of hiring a hitman to beat up his daughter, providing him with the woman's address and pictures so he could identify her in a crowd.

Ward told police he didn't want his daughter dead. He just wanted to see his granddaughter. Police say Ward was charged four years ago for assaulting the daughter - likely the reason she severed ties between child and Grandpa.

The details out on this story make it pretty clear Ward's daughter made the right move in cutting Dad out of the picture. But most of us have parents who drive us up the wall (and don't hire hitmen) - have you ever considered cutting them out of your child's life?

They're flesh and blood, but they're also not parents, so they don't have the rights that we do. Still, I watch my daughter running around with her grandparents, and she is absolutely idolized. Grandparents usually offer a different kind of love - because they don't have to do the discipline and clean-up later. Grandparents often do a better job with their grandkids than they did with their own kids too, either because they're older and more experienced or simply have the luxury of not worrying about the parenting aspect of it all.

Then again, grandparents spoil kids and send them home. They let them eat lollipops at nine p.m., and three nights later, our kids are throwing a tantrum because we say "no lollipops." They let our kids jump on the bed even though they would have tanned our (metaphorical) hides if we'd even glanced at the bed. They tell us how to parent, and they "tut, tut" when we don't follow up.

Sometimes, our parents aren't the best people for us to have around. Sometimes we just suck it up for our kids (so they can grow up, have kids, and we can be the pains in the ass later).

Image: DailyMail