Strollerderby : gymboree

Don’t Let One-Upmanship Become One-Up-Yours-Manship

makeitadouble — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 17:52:00 GMT

If you’re a mother or a father, which you probably are, and if you’re reading this, which you obviously are, then you’ve at one time or another experienced the brutal underground counter-culture of Parental One-Upmanship.

Come on, don’t play innocent, you know what I’m talking about. Your 11 month old takes her first brave hesitant steps and you rush to the nearest play-date, parent group, Gymboree, or Chuck E. Cheese to proudly announce your baby’s milestone accomplishment only to be knocked down a notch by parents extolling the unparalleled brilliance of their own ambulatory wunderkinds. “My Rosie walked at 7 months. My Charlie ran at 6 months. My Elizabeth did a back handspring out of my vagina.” You counter with a “Well she also said her first word this ….” And you’re interrupted with a flurry of “My Rosie said her first word at 7 months. My Charlie knew nursery rhymes at 6 months. My Elizabeth recited Shakespeare out of my vagina.”

Your immediate instinct is to skip the “One-Upmanship” and go straight to “One-Up-Yours-manship” and shout retaliatory haymakers at the sanctimonious antagonists you thought were your friends, but you don’t want to get pulled into a futile war of who’s child is bigger, better, faster, stronger. Your inner voice, the one that sounds like Keanu Reeves, presses the question, “What do you do? What DO you do?”

The Today show recently addressed why some parents engage in this type of exhausting and futile competitive banter. Well, the piece actually only concentrates on the over-the-top Moms for some reason, but I think we all know how competitive Dads can be as well (see Youth Sports + Living Vicariously Through Your Child + Inappropriate Juvenile Social Behavior)

Apparently the root of this evil can be traced back to personal identity insecurities and as a way to bolster a shaky self-image. Moms it seems, because again Dads were strangely left out of this psycho-mélange of aggressive parenting analysis, transitioning from the business world transfer that corporate mentality into their parenting style. In other cases the child becomes an extension of the parent and way to validate their self-worth.

Regardless of the cause, Today offers some sage advice to parents who don’t want a healthy relationship between friends to degenerate into a “the only way to make myself feel better is to make everyone else feel like shit” situation. Some suggestions are to empathize with the competitive parents and try to understand where they are coming from, to use non-competitive responses and to reduce the possible escalation of an exchange by not upping the comparative ante.

So, the next time “that” burgeoning stage mom brags about how her Elizabeth strolled from the birth canal rhythmically finger picking her umbilical chord like a Mariachi with a flamenco guitar, remember that it’s not about winning, it’s about appreciating ourselves and our families for who they are and about connecting with the people we love; and in our minds connecting with a perfectly placed uppercut.

Things Fall Apart: Gymboree Pirate Swords, Arrrrgh

Karen Murphy — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 12:36:00 GMT

At this point in your lives, what's a little breakage and laceration, anyway? If you have kids, you know all about both, trust me. The important thing is, you have to Get It Right, and I am sorry Consumer Product Safety Commission, but this is clearly NOT a pirate "sword". It's a scimitar, if you knew ANYTHING about your weaponry. I mean, hello! Anybody with a small boy in the house or some weird geeky medieval-Moor knowledge would KNOW this stuff.

However, far be it from me, CPSC, to tell you how to do your jobs. After all, it's not me following up on all these claims of lead-laden cheap crap (you could not PAY ME ENOUGH to do your job, believe me!). But 11 of these ~~cheap plastic~~ wonderful ~~swords~~ scimitars have broken, and when they do, Ouch! That's sharp! Somebody could get HURT! Maybe they should recall these stupid...oh. Right.

Yeah. These little puppies are about 19 inches long, excellent for swordplay in the kitchen, and has a gray plastic (breakable) blade with a gold handle. So lifelike! They were sold in Gymboree stores from August 2007 through September 2007 for the astounding price (for a hunk of plastic) of $12 to $15. The recall involves scimitars sold with a SKU number 140025491-GYS049. The SKU number is printed on the price tag above the bar code. Not that you have either, likely, at this point, having probably been on the tag that you removed when you brought the thing home and began fencing in your livingroom. But you can get your money back at Gymboree, or check their website for more information.

Gymboree to Open Lower-End "Crazy Eights" Stores

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 16 May 2007 19:03:00 GMT

Following the Gap's lead with their Old Navy brand, children's retailer Gymboree is set to open 10 new stores later this year which will target ~~poorer~~ more "budget-conscious" customers.

Called "Crazy Eights," the name indicating that families are busy "eight days a week" (huh?) and often until "8 p.m.," (okay, yeah) the stores will open in 3-4 test markets across the country.

My hope is that Crazy Eights stores will actually sell clothes without appliques, sequins, and other righteous crap all over them, cuz I'll bet you fifty bucks you can't find a plain t-shirt in a Gymboree. What looks like an unadorned t-shirt when folded will reveal eyelet sleeves, button flowers along the hem, and the words "sweet little baby cowgirl fairy princess" embroidered in rainbow thread across the chest. And that shirt will be part of a 3,871-piece grouping that includes everything from coordinated multi-colored ribbon barrettes to matching Band-Aids.

Enh. I like to give Gymboree a bad time for its over-the-topness, but truth be told, it's the only place we buy socks, undies, and nightgowns. And if the Crazy Eights basics are as well made, I'll probably shop there, too.