Strollerderby : having a son

They Say: Turns Out Eating Cereal Does Not Affect Your Child's Gender

Jen Chaney — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 16:02:00 GMT

It sounds like an old wives' tale: If you eat breakfast cereal while trying to get pregnant, you'll have a boy. And yet, that's exactly what a study published last year by British researchers said. Now, a group of Americans has published a new study that says that first study is a load of Crispix.

After re-examining the data, the U.S. group -- based in North Carolina -- contends there is no cause and effect relationship between what a woman eats and what gender her baby is. The British study had found that 59 percent of pregnant women who ate breakfast cereal daily delivered boys, while only 43 percent (still a substantial percentage) of those who rarely ate cereal had boys. It also suggested that moms-to-be who consumed more calories were more likely to have boys, too. Both reports were published in a journal called the Proceedings of the Royal Society B, which sounds like it should be the name of the latest thriller from "Da Vinci Code" author Dan Brown.

To me, all of this should be filed under "duh." The idea that eating cereal is all it takes to determine whether we have sons or daughters sounds ridiculous on its face. And the statistics weren't definitive enough, as the American researchers suggested, to prove anything. I chalk this up to human nature. Naturally, we all want to think we can control that whole boy/girl thing. Any scientist who finally stumbled on the key to that mystery would understandably be excited. Perhaps so excited that they would published a pretty thinly supported study.

Image: Inmagine.com

For the record, the Brits still stand by their results, particularly the more general causal relationship between maternal diet and infant gender. Of course, we all know how important it is to eat well when you're expecting. Whether you want to take that a step further and start chowing down on Special K so you can finally name a child Aidan? Well, that's up to you.

Clay Aiken ain't no fruit

Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Far be it from me to imply that Clay Aiken is anything less than muy macho. But, you know, there have been those nasty rumors, which led to threats of a lawsuit from his devoted fan base, who are known as the Claymates. (Really. They call themselves Claymates, and one of them tried to sue Clay over rumors that he was homosexual. Don't you feel normal now?) So perhaps -- and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, you know -- Clay's recent actions are fueled by a desire to "butch it up, Mary" as the saying goes.

First: he impregnates a woman. This is a clear sign of masculinity. I mean, try doing that if you're... you know, not manly. Well, it was artificial insemination, which means there was no actual physical contact. But hey, there's nothing wrong with that either. (Even if Aiken isn't the father, he could have been. Hey! Stop laughing!)

Second: when a ~~vulture~~ cameraperson from ~~the fiery pits of Hell~~ TMZ confronted him on the street, he pulled a Sean Penn and whacked the camera. In a very aggressive, manly way. Again, nothing wrong with that. (Video of the incident is below, or click here.)

One thing that I've always found interesting is what constitutes "manliness." Impregnating a woman means that your sperm is, you know, spermy. Strong swimmers, etc. But so what?

And punching someone, even if that someone is ~~being a dick~~ just doing their jobs, is more out of control than it is "macho." To be fair, Clay just kinda pushed the guy; more specifically, he pushed the camera. If he had ripped the dude's arms off and beaten him within an inch of his life, that would have been much more manly. (Not that we advocate such behavior. But it would definitely have been big news.)

So maybe it's possible that all of this "news" just happens to be coming out (no pun intended) around the time that Mr. Aiken has a new album out. Just a thought.

In closing, let me request that the phrase "Claby" (Clay + Baby) never, ever catch on. It's just... there is something wrong with that.

(TMZ.com screenshot)

other image: offoffBway.com

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Brett Singer — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Could the whole "Clay Aiken can impregnate a woman without even touching her" news be a big fat stinkin' lie? The Calgary Herald is reporting that "several people close to" babymama Jaymes Foster are denying claims (clayms? Nope, not going there) that Aiken is the daddy.

~~One Of The Signs Of The Apocalypse~~ TMZ first reported that Aiken had artificially inseminated Foster, the sister of record producer David Foster, going on to say that, "Clay is a lot more than sperm -- we're told he will have an active role in raising the child." The story was picked up by roughly 12 million media outlets. BUT one of the so-called sources is denying that he ever said Clay was the daddy-to-be, even asking People.com to retract their story. And B.J. Cook, David Foster's ex-wife and Jaymes Foster's ex-sister-in-law said, "Jaymes is definitely pregnant, that much is true...I can guarantee that it's not Clay Aiken's baby." (emphasis added.)

Of course, no one directly involved is talking to the press, including Clay, who is very busy punching cameras.

It must be pointed out that we have no knowledge of this incident, or alleged incident. Maybe Clay is on his way to fatherhood. Maybe not. Who the hell knows? Clearly this is the most important story of the decade. Well, other than the Sex and the City movie. (Election? What election?)

Aside #1: Foster went from "in her late 40's" to "50" in a matter of days -- I guess it is stressful being in the public eye. Here's a photo of the happy non-couple.

Aside #2: Even if this whole thing turns out to be bull, at least we'll always have the phrase "Clay is a lot more than sperm." Thank you ~~Satan~~ TMZ.

images: thehollywoodgossip.com, offoffBway.com

All Aiken, All the Time

Strollerderby : having a son

They Say: Turns Out Eating Cereal Does Not Affect Your Child's Gender

Clay Aiken ain't no fruit

Breaking News: Clay may not be the father

American Idol or American Psycho? Clay Aiken Gives Pap a SMACKDOWN!

Fans Show Support For Clay Aiken

Clay Aiken Involved in Pregnancy

Breaking News: Clay Aiken might not be the father

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