Strollerderby : high school

No Hugs For You At Some High Schools

Brett Singer — Fri, 29 May 2009 16:30:00 GMT

According to this New York Times article, hugging is very popular among high school students. A video on the site mentions Hug High School, and calls teenage hugging a "sociological phenomenon." (Hey, whatever floats your sociological boat.)

But at some schools, the big bad grown-ups decided that enough is enough. The Times tells us that "schools from Hillsdale, N.J., to Bend, Ore., wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching — or citing hallway clogging and late arrivals to class — have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule."

First of all, a quick personal note. I'm not that young and when I was in high school boys and girls kissed each other hello. Boys tended to slap hands, either as a high-five or as a slap-into-handshake. I don't remember boys hugging, but boys and girls did, and girls hugged other girls. So I'm not so sure that this "phenomenon" is terribly significant.

Now, back to the issue at hand. If the kids are hanging all over each other in the halls, that could be problematic I suppose. But the problem isn't the hugging, it's that they're standing in the halls. The three-second rule is nuts and won't work. At summer camp, I remember a "6 inches rule" (which now that I type it, sounds vaguely pornographic). Boys and girls had to be that distance from each other at all times. The rule was even enforced by some (though not all) couselors and especially the camp owners, who felt very strongly that the sexes should remain at opposite sides of the room at all times. Because as we all know, closeness leads to touching, and touching leads to... well, you know. More touching.

My children aren't old enough yet but I don't think I would be in favor of a "no hugs" rule. What would be better is teaching kids about boundaries and personal space. Maybe someone doesn't want to be hugged. Maybe it makes them uncomfortable. Maybe you need to stop hugging and get to math class already. I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that if you tell a teenager not to do something, especially something that seems to be very much a part of their daily lives, all you're going to do is make them want to do it more.

What do you think? Is banning hugs a good idea? Or should the grown-ups just, well, grow up?

Source: New York Times

Brett Singer is the editor-in-chief of DaddyTips.com. You can follow his tweets at Twitter.com/brettsinger.

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Families Still Spending Big on Prom

JeanneSager — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:01:00 GMT

If you have watched a teen movie from any of the last few decades (pick one, any one), there's one lesson to be learned. Your kids have to go to prom.

If they don't, apparently, something dasterdly will befall them, and they will regret it for the REST of their lives. Like, totally, forever and ever and ever, along with their BFFs.

Not buying it? Me neither. But parents across the nation are.

Because with the economy tanking, parents are still apparently going hog wild on prom spending. According to a New York Times report, spending may even be up this year.

And that's not just on the gowns. The tuxes too. And the limos. And the tiaras. Some families are forced to put the finery on layaway and pay down their debt, but they've got their hearts set on making it work.

Why?

Before you write me off as some prom-hating feminist (the latter I'll own up to, but not the former), I attended two proms. I went to each with very nice boys (yes, they were boys back then), one of whom is even on my Facebook now and reads some of my Babble posts (hi Tim!). We had fun. You might even say we made some fond memories. But memories that I couldn't have lived without?

Let me put it this way - I was recently doing a thorough cleaning of my attic and chucked a never burned blue candle coated in dust with the words "Remember Me This Way" inscribed on the glass holder. I can't believe I still had it. I wasn't going to hold onto it for a minute longer.

My first time around, my dad put out at least $200 on the gown, the alterations, the shoes. The only thing I still have? A pair of earrings he bought me as a daddy/daughter special thing, which I still wear for special occasions. The dress itself was donated to a Project Cinderella group - a non-profit effort to put prom dresses in the hands of girls who don't have a whole lot of cash. They're sold for a very small sum (so the girls can feel pride in knowing they paid for them, instead of feeling like a charity case), and the money goes back into the project.

My second time around, I knew better. The dress was off the rack and under $30. The shoes were even cheaper. I already had a pair of earrings. The most expensive piece of the evening would have been the price I'd have paid if my parents learned I'd let him drive my car.

Compare the two evenings, and I can't say which one was better. The second, cheaper night, because I was actually dating the guy? The first, more expensive night, because my date for the night is someone I still talk to today? In other words, a prom on the cheap was perfectly acceptable, and a whole lot of fun. I wasn't being cheated by going cheap.

Neither will any of these kids. Send your kids to prom - if they want to go - or don't. If they don't want to, don't pressure them into doing it, and yourself into making the finances work. And for Gawd's sake, if you can't afford it, step away from the couture. Your pocketbook will thank you. And in two years, when they're trying to rustle up tuition, they will too.

Image: New York Times

When Mom's a Sex Offender

JeanneSager — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Alex Dinkel just wants his mom to watch him graduate from high school. Unfortunately for him, Jeni Lee Dinkel will be arrested if she steps on the high school campus.

She had sex with one of her son's fifteen-year-old classmates in 2007 and is now a registered sex offender.

The boy Jeni Lee had sex with is no longer at the school, but officials are still saying nixing requests for her to attend Alex's graduation. If it sounds cut and dried, it isn't. Although Jeni Lee was convicted and thus is definitely a sex offender, her son is not your typical high school senior.

Alex was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma in 2007 (the same year his mother was convicted). He fought the cancer and is in remission, but he's since suffered a heart attack (as a teenager) and now goes everywhere with a defibrillator to keep his heart pumping. When he went into cardiac arrest, it was his parents who brought him back via CPR.

Along with dad Tom, a former NFL player, Alex held a press conference to speak out against the school. He says it's not fair to deny him every kid's dream that their parents will watch them graduate. What's more, he says his Catholic high school is not acting in accordance with church teachings which preach turning the other cheek and forgiveness.

Although I think his mom's a creep, I tend to agree with him. A school staff person can easily keep an eye on Jeni Lee during the two or three hours of a graduation ceremony, and she can be escorted off campus immediately after the ceremony ends (or even just after her son receives his diploma). There never has to be a moment when she is alone with a child. As for whether she's looking "the wrong way" at the kids in the room, let's be realistic - there are sex offenders in grocery stores who might get their jollies by looking at our kids. It's the risk we take by letting our kids out of the bubble.

Do you think the school should give in for just one day? Is this about the parent or the student?

Image: KentuckyEnquirer

Texas School Accused Of Student Cage Fighting

Brett Singer — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Next time you have complaints about your children's school, remember this story. Because things could be worse.

According to a report obtained by the Dallas Morning News, school officials at South Oak Cliff High in Texas (ironically known as "SOC", pronounced "sock", as in "sock it to me") had students settle their differences by fighting. In a cage. This did not happen last Tuesday. It happened back in 2003 and continued until 2005. And no one did anything about it.

Listen to this quote:

"Superintendent Michael Hinojosa told the newspaper that there were 'some things that happened inside of a cage' and called the fights 'unacceptable.'"

See, the only thing that should be happening "inside of a cage" at school is a hamster being fed. Maybe a little jog on the ol' exercise wheel. The hamster, I mean. Perhaps a bunny. I'm thinking cages at schools are for class pets. Students generally should not be doing ANYHTING in a cage. Especially at school.

In a blog entry at The Dallas Morning News web site, Kent Fischer digs up a few facts about former SOC principal Donald Moten. Moten allegedly "not only allowed [the fights] to take place, but that he egged on the participants." Hey, at least he wasn't just picking up a paycheck, right? Fischer points out that Moten's other "accomplishments" at SOC include "An athletic grade changing scandal, times two," "Allegations of credit card abuse," "Allegations of inappropriate sexual relations with students' mothers." Oh, and of course -- "Cage fights." The piece questions why Moten was even hired for the $92,000 a year job in the first place, since his employment history includes a stint as a police officer where he faked his own kidnapping.

When I was a student at a New York City Public School, people would always ask me how horrible it must have been. Sure, there were problems. But we never had anything like this. Well, as far as I know.

Source: Yahoo! News

Image: SXC (stock photo)

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Steve Martin Funds Banned High School Production of his Play

Brett Singer — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 03:40:00 GMT

I always liked Steve Martin. One of my first R-rated movies was "The Jerk," and I listened to his comedy albums "Comedy Is Not Pretty" and "A Wild and Crazy Guy" over and over again. (Two words - cat juggling.)

More recently, Steve (he lets me call him Steve - well, we've never met, but I think he'd let me call him Steve. Maybe.) has written a few plays, including "Picasso at the Lapin Agile", which ran Off-Broadway for awhile and has since had many productions around the world. Students at LaGrande High School in Oregon were rehearsing the play when 137 people signed a petition protesting the show. In a bold move, the school stopped the rehearsals.

So Steve (for now, I'll just call him Steve, OK?) offered to pay for a production off campus, far from the reach of the long arm of the educational law.

What was the perceived problem with the show? It features "people drinking in bars, and treating women as sex objects." Now, far be it from me to tell a local high school what they should and should not allow on their stages. But any Shakespearean tragedy features murder. Does that mean it can't be performed? How about the perennial high school musical favorite "The Pajama Game"? Unions. And we all know that "union" is code for "communism."

Steve wrote a letter to the local paper defending his work.

"Because of the controversy, I recently reread the play, and, frankly, I could understand how some parents might object to certain lines if they were to be delivered by a 16- or 17-year-old. Yet I do believe that the spirit of the play and its endorsement of the arts and sciences are appropriate for young eyes and minds.
"So while the question of whether students should perform the play at their high school remains something to be determined by the community, I firmly believe that seeing the play will bring no harm to them and might well uplift them — and acting in the play, if they are permitted by their parents, would also bring them no harm, and may help them to understand the potency, power and beauty of the arts and sciences."

The fact that he decided to go the extra mile and go all "Hamlet 2" and rent a theater off campus is kind of amazing. On the one hand, why should he care? On the other hand, if he believes in freedom of expression, why not put his money where his mouth is?

I bet the students are pretty excited. I know I would be.

Source: The Onion AV Club

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Should Schools Separate Non-English Speaking Kids?

JeanneSager — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:29:00 GMT

At first blush, I would have said separating non-English speaking kids from their English speaking peers at school is a segregationist tactic that hinders the chances of immigrant children from success.

But a New York Times story that follows kids at the Cecil D. Hylton High School in Woodbridge, Va., a suburb of Washington, D.C., begs the question - if kids can succeed separately, wouldn't throwing them in with English-speaking kids be the real hinderance to academic success?

The story follows a group of kids in the ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages) program at Cecil D., kids from a host of Latin and South American countries plus China, Sri Lanka and more. These kids aren't just learning English while their peers study Spanish; they're in an ESOL classroom for social studies, math and almost every other subject. And as their teacher - an immigrant herself who was the first in her French-Canadian family to learn English when they moved to the U.S. - points out, there's a vast difference between the words they pick up from their English-speaking classmates in the cafeteria and those used in a classroom. No one is talking about "imperialism" at the lunch table.

In a story recently about a mid-western private school that's banned kids from speaking anything but English within its walls, I focused on the efforts to make American kids more competitive in the global economy by encouraging bilingualism. Being exposed to immigrant classmates is GOOD for American kids.

I would say, overall, the opposite is true too. I learned best in the assimiliation language courses in college; when the professor refused to speak anything but French for the course of the day. Was I confused at first? Oh yeah. I wasn't out in left field, I was in the parking lot. But slowly, you can't help but learn. Beyond language, there's also exposure to American customs, and cultural assimiliation, to some degree, is necessary to survive. Kids should retain a cultural identity, but they need to at least understand which new customs they are adopting - or avoiding.

It's a debate I don't know that any educator can truly answer. The kids at Cecil D. are performing well on tests, they say they're happy (watch the video), and the school does introduce them into "mixed" classes as their English language skills develop. Perhaps that's the real answer - starting with segregation that has a logical endpoint, segregation that results in assimilation.

What do you think? Would you fight this if it happened at your kids' school?

Image: New York Times

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

Brett Singer — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Madeline is taking a little time off, so I'll be your Morning Newsperson for awhile. Gosh, I sure wish there was something to talk about. The news is so dull right now... Oh! Wait. My bad. Here we go:

Dick Cheney did an interview with CNN's "State of the Union" where he said that "reversing [Bush administration] anti-terrorism policies endangers Americans." See, if a Democrat said that about a Republican President, there would be an outcry. The former VP also said the Bush administration spent so much money (remember that surplus we used to have?) because "Stuff happens," and discusses the fact that his former boss (George W. Bush, remember him?) did not pardon Scooter Libby. That last one is interesting, I would have thought that Bush would do that. Guess not. There's a meeting it would be fun to be a fly on the wall for. "Dude, I am SO not pardoning Scooter." "Dude! You totally have to!" (Note: I wasn't there, but I bet that's not what they said.)

Some people who are out of work have decided to make their own jobs. The New York Times reports on a few folks who have found their inner entrepreneur, including Alex Andon, who makes jellyfish tanks. Seems that some people will spend big bucks for a nice home for their jellies. Who knew? If you can't make jellyfish tanks (and if not, that's OK, we can't all be good at everything), maybe one of your kids could make a YouTube video asking someone to hire you.

Investigators want to freeze the assets of Ruth Madoff, wife of Bernie. My only question is why did it take them this long to decide to do that?

The space shuttle launched! Um, what's that? You don't care? C'mon, isn't this still a cool thing? I remember being a kid and we were all so stoked whenever there was a launch. I guess it's just not that big a deal anymore. This particular mission sends the Discovery to the International Space Station "to deliver and install the fourth and final pair of solar wings." I don't know what that is, but "solar wings" sounds really cool to me.

Demon dad Josef Fritzl will plead guilty to some charges, but not the ones that carry the really long prison sentences. There will still be a trial, which CNN says will probably last less than a week. We could learn something from those Austrians.

In my day, if a kid made clothes out of duct tape, that meant he was nerdy. Nowadays, it's a contest, with the winner getting $3,000 in scholarship money, provided by Duck brand tape. Tough economic times have increased the number of participants: 25 last year, 80 this year. You can see lots of pics at CNN.com.

Catfight on the catwalk! Or something like that. There was a riot at the tryouts for "America's Next Top Model" in New York City. Clearly this is the result of opening the competition up to women under 5 foot 7. Or this particular crop of "hundreds of hotties in heels" are nuts, no matter how tall they are. Who knows.

And finally, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke says that the recession could -- COULD -- end this year if -- IF -- the government can get the banks to lend money and make the financial markets "work more normally." I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel like a class A moron whenever people start talking about the economy. (Derivatives? What?) So all you finance types: Fix it, OK? Sheesh.

More tomorrow... same Babble time, same Babble channel...

Image: CNN

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The Most Awesomely Epic High School English Paper of All Time

Cole Gamble — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:30:00 GMT

This is the most awesome thing I've seen all week. Imagine you are a student who really hates your English teacher. And let's say you had to write an essay about a famous poet but didn't give a damn. Your essay might go like this:

"I chose Walt Whitman for my biography report because Mr. Farlow said if I wasn't going to take this class seriously and pick a real poet I might as well not show up anymore.Walt Whitman was born in ancient China, is over 90 stories tall and travels the land with his blue ox, Emily Dickenson...

Here it is in it's original state:

I can't wait for this kid's next paper.

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RENT Too Risqué For Some Schools

Brett Singer — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 18:30:00 GMT

"Milk" may have won two Oscars (Sean Penn for Best Actor, Dustin Lance Black for Best Original Screenplay) but homosexuality is still a taboo topic at many U.S. schools. Case in point: "RENT: School Edition", a toned down version of the hit Broadway musical that closed last September. Three productions have been canceled due to "objections about the show’s morality, its portrayals of homosexuality and theft, and its frank discussions of drug use and H.I.V." In other words, gay people still make folks uncomfortable.

Growing up in New York City and attending the High School of Performing Arts, my view of the world was a bit skewed. It's easy to forget how intolerant some parts of the country can be. What, pray tell, is everyone so afraid of?

Then there is the question of artistic merit. Do these people really want to sit through an amateur production of "High School Musical" at their local high school? The real thing is unbearable. Imagine "Getcha Head In The Game" sung by squeaky voiced adolescents who are just entering puberty. At least "RENT" has some terrific music. And they already toned down the naughty bits! C'mon folks. It's a new age. Give "RENT" a chance.

Source: NY Times

Image: Amazon

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Coach Charged in Death of Football Player

KeriF — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:02:00 GMT

Max Gilpin was 15 years old when he died in August, just three days after passing out during a grueling football practice. How grueling? So grueling that prosecutors are now charging Gilpin's coach, David Jason Stinson, with reckless homicide.

Prosecutors claim that Stinson acted irresponsibly by overworking his players in sweltering weather with a 94-degree heat index. They say he should have known that heat stroke was possible in such weather.

According to witnesses, Coach Stinson repeatedly yelled at the players and told them they would have to run sprints up and down the field until one of them quit the team. One witness told police it was "appalling" how the coaches were treating the players; another witness said it was typical tough love.

So why is the coach being charged? One witness says no water was offered to the players; the log shows the team received three water breaks in a 30-minute period shortly after taking the field but none after the sprinting began.

Gilpin was not the first player to collapse that day. Another student collapsed around 6pm; he was taken to the shade and treated with water and ice packs. Fifteen minutes later, Gilpin collapsed and was treated similarly; when he did not respond well to treatment the paramedics were called. Both students were taken to the hospital, where Gilpin died three days later.

I do think that high school athletics can be a bit rough, and clearly practice should have ended when the first player collapsed, but I don't really understand why this coach is being criminally charged. There have been other football players who died from heat stroke during practice, most notably Minnesotta Vikings offensive lineman Korey Stringer, who died in 2001. According to the National Center for Catastrophic Injury Research, there were six heat-related deaths in high school and college athletics in 2008. More than 120 athletes have died since 1931. No coach has ever been criminally charged.

Obviously, nothing will bring Max Gilpin back. But hopefully his death will make coaches think twice about their practice techniques in extreme heat. I don't think the threat of a murder charge can have any more power than that.

Smackdown: I Don’t Care If My Daughter Has Sex as a Teen

Miriam Axel-Lute — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:01:00 GMT

Progressive, feminist, supposedly sex-positive parents are, of course, pretty well united against the absurd excesses of abstinence-only education and the religious no-sex-until-marriage frenzy.

What continues to amaze me though, is how little the positions they do take really vary from the underlying values of the abstinence worshippers.

As a parent, I keep running into a nudge, nudge, wink, wink understanding that even though we know it’s not good to base policy on it, of course really we all want to put off our daughters’ sexual awakenings as long as possible (or at least until they’re out of the house). There are jokes about chastity belts and not letting boyfriends come over until age 30. Every once and a while I feel the urge to get out a calendar and check the year.

I confess that I don’t get it. Not a smidgen. (And neither, for the record, does her father.) I don’t think this is just a matter of my having a defective freak-out gene. I really think that this attitude is not in our daughters’ best interests.

Concerned and thoughtful parents like my colleague Shannon, argue that it’s not really about the squick factor. They think it’s important for their daughters to put off the confusion and emotional drama of sexual relationships in order to get solid in forming their own identities, to make sure that they don’t get distracted by serving other’s needs first.

It sounds good at first, but I have to disagree. It’s not sex that hampers girls’ development, sense of self, or progress toward a career. It’s negative, hysterical, sexist attitudes about sex. (And the unintended pregnancies, abusive relationships, etc. that follow.)

The self-esteem argument is really the religious right’s argument minus the God and marriage specifics. It says this: “Sex is such a god-awful big deal that it will necessarily consume you when it happens and so you must wait for some future time at which you will miraculously be able to handle it.”

I don’t buy it. Sex is a powerful force, sure, but we have a fair amount of control over how much power we really give it. Making it something dangerous to your very identity gives it just as much power as making it central to your very identity.

I think this attitude is partly to blame for teens continuing to mistake sex for love. It also still places far too much emphasis on the importance of the “first time,” leaving girls (and women) feeling attached to first lovers who don’t deserve a third glance (or feeling like failures for choosing a less-than-perfect first lover).

In its usual gender-specific form, this attitude also perpetuates the idea that girls can’t really want sex for their own reasons, that they must be succumbing to the media hype and trying to please someone else and they will automatically lose their sense of self in a sexual relationship.

(Yes, clearly, far too many girls are getting pushed into sex they don’t want. But telling them they should never say yes does not help teach them when/how to say no.)

Of course I also have to wonder why, if people think sex is such an overwhelming cognitive thing to get started at, the conclusion they draw from that is that it’s a good idea to put it off until kids leave the nest and are distanced from familial support systems and previous friends, have easier access to alcohol, are first learning to live on their own, and are facing academic and/or job pressure. Or, for that matter, until they are 30, feeling their biological clocks and suffering pressure (internal and external) to find “the one” and settle down.

Obviously I wouldn’t argue that everyone ought to start having sex in high school. “Ready” is a super complex and individual cocktail (and takes two). Not everyone over 18 or 20 is ready. Not everyone younger isn’t. But high-school does have some potential advantages: financial security, parental backup if needed, and some extra time to be processing, daydreaming (or angstfully writing in a journal). That could all actually form a safer place to experiment than newly adrift in the “real world.”

Of course we all use our own experience as a touchstone. I starting “fooling around” at 15 and having sex at 17 with someone trustworthy I’d been dating for many months and who served, as good friends and partners do, to help me learn more about myself as well as how to have a relationship. I made out with a jerk or two in there first and lived to tell the tale with my self-esteem intact. In fact, those early experiences gave me a very clear and relatively safe tutorial in the difference between attraction and love, flirtation and friendship, passion and trust that has served me well.

If my daughter has the chance to do the same—armed with the facts to protect herself and the solid knowledge that her worth doesn’t depend on her choosing one way or the other—it won’t bother me in the slightest.

Photo by Made Underground, via Flickr.

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Teacher Wants to Drop Huck Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird "for Obama"

JeanneSager — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:37:00 GMT

Now that we have a black president, ~~an Oregon~~ a Washington teacher says he's ready to stop teaching about the days when the "n-word" was acceptable - and he's willing to say bye-bye to some of the most acclaimed books of school curricula to do it.

John Foley says he's sick of having to explain the usage of the "n-word" in Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn and Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird to his students.

Sure, in the end the authors stood as beacons of light in their time for writing books that decried racism, but Foley doesn't think kids (or "an angry African American mom") have the wherewithal to stick with it to the end of the books.

OK, let's back up here. He's decrying racism and a lack of education with . . . racism and a refusal to educate?

Foley wrote a guest editorial in a recent issue of the Seattle Post Intelligencer, noting he's sick of having to explain to those African American mothers why he has students read books that portray blacks as inarticulate and uneducated. He's weary of having black students sit in class uncomfortable when the "n-word" is read out in class. What's more - he says the kids find the books "dull and plodding," and they never get past the usage of the racist word.

And lest you think he's being satirical, Foley told the Los Angeles Times he was "bemused" by the people who came to his quasi-defense in the name of satire.

To be fair, Foley does not want to ban these books. He wants to update the curriculum, replacing what he sees as poor black role models with more empowering examples for his students. I certainly support him on that. So add a few in there, beef up the reading list. But does that have to be at the loss of literative examples of the racial struggles that led up to Obama's victory? However corny, the George Santayana quote comes to mind: "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

Dropping the Huck Finns of literature from our kids' reading lists is akin to whitewashing those struggles out of our history books. Where else do these children learn what the times in which the n-word" was acceptable were like? Where else will they learn that, yes, the black men depicted in these books were indeed uneducated and inarticulate - not because of stupidity but because of oppression?

As a white teacher, I can also appreciate that Foley faces a daunting task. A close friend is white and teaches at a racially diverse school in the south, where she has been called out time and again by over-sensitive parents of other ethnicities for perceived slights. I am not saying all white teachers are innocent; but unwarranted accusations can be tough on a teacher - my friend is currently seeking a move out of the classroom. Perhaps I am reading too much into his words, but it sounds like Foley has experienced having to rationalize a misperceived support of the n-word to an African American mother who has only been told by her child that the teacher used the n-word (without providing the context of the book).

He's tired. And maybe he's tired of teaching too. Because the saddest comment of all is what Foley has taken out of a classroom after all of these years teaching literature. "You have to remember, it's hard to sell kids these days on books," he told the Times. "I write young adult novels, and sometimes I wonder, why bother? You're writing for three girls who like to read."

Kids can wear teachers down, especially the kids who just don't care. But when a teacher begins to blame the kids for just not getting it or just not being able to get past a stumbling block, perhaps he needs to examine not the book and the history lesson but his method of "inspiring" young minds.

These kids need someone to tell them "that was then, and this is now." Can John Foley still do that?

Image: Amazon

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Teaching Teens to Recognize Abusive Relationships

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:49:00 GMT

A recent study in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine found that a full third of college students were involved in an abusive relationship at some point before they started college. And a survey of 1,000 children found that 25 percent of kids aged 11 to 14 had been harassed and verbally degraded by their boyfriend or girlfriend through phone calls or text messages, often late at night when their parents were sleeping.

One of the main reasons for these alarmingly high numbers is that teenage romance is bound to be sticky and confusing, so youth are often blind to behaviors that could be a harbinger of violence. High school boys are often so shy or wary of commitment that a boy who calls all the time or is possessive can be seen as confident and romantic, not dangerous. “Few adolescents understand what a healthy relationship looks like,” according to Dr. Elizabeth Miller, who has been studying teen dating violence for a decade.

Fortunately, many states are implementing programs to help teach teens about healthy dating, and to help parents, educators, and police officers recognize the signs of dating violence or verbal abuse. Texas has started requiring schools to include prohibitions against dating violence in school safety codes, and Rhode Island requires schools to teach grades 7 through 12 about dating violence and abuse. Indianapolis has started training police officers in public schools to recognize the early signs of abusive dating.

Deborah Norris (pictured), the mother of a teenager killed by her boyfriend, has started heathersvoice.net in an effort to teach teen girls about healthy romantic relationships. Loveisrespect.org is another widely utilized resource for teens seeking a way out of an abusive relationship.

These programs are a great start, but I would argue that we shouldn't focus only on teaching teen girls (who are overwhelmingly the victimes, not the perpetrators, of violence) to recognize an abusive relationship; we should also be teaching teenage boys how to be in a respectful, healthy relationship. As Harvard psychologist William S. Pollack puts it, "Usually when adolescent boys get involved with girls, they fall into the societal model which we call ‘macho,’ where they need to show they are the ones in control." It's way past time we offered these boys a different model.

Photo: New York Times

Catholic High School Kicks out Catholicism

JeanneSager — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:32:00 GMT

If you're paying to send your teenager to Catholic school, what do you do when the school decides to go "un-Catholic?" Parents of students at the Northern Virginia Notre Dame Academy have been notified that the private school will cease following the rules of the Arlington County archdiocese in an effort to make the school more financially viable.

But parents who paid tuition so their kids could go to Catholic school are mad - and not just the Catholic ones.

The changes won't go into affect this year, so parents will have the opportunity to yank their kids before they go into ~~affect~~ effect. Still, some parents on both sides of the religious fence say they've been sold a bill of goods. They enrolled their kids thinking they would be sending them to a Catholic school for their entire high school careers.

I wonder how much weight the school board's supposition that it will fare better without the weight of diocesan rules really holds. If half the student body is already non-Catholic, it wouldn't seem their papal patronage is really putting that much of a hurting on the ability to attract tution-paying parents. The fact that there are non-Catholic parents decrying the change would seem to support that school of thought.

Private schools are private businesses. Their bottom line is to stay open - and they can't depend on taxes to do it. So should parents just be thankful the school is still there?

Image: Washington Post

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High School Student in Hospital After Scavenger Hunt

Brett Singer — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:30:00 GMT

When I think of scavenger hunts, I think of summer camp, back when I was about 10. The tasks were, "find a blue rock." Maybe a spork.

Clearly I'm out of touch.

A group of students at St. Charles North High School in Kane County, Illinois, have their own scavenger hunt for the "Jackass" generation. Items on the list include "Getting kicked in the groin", "Pelting the elderly with muffins", and the ever-popular "Jumping from a moving car."

It was that last item that landed student Erik Nava in the hospital. The Chicago Sun-Times reports that he is "hospitalized in serious condition" after participating in what his fellow students describe as an "underground scavenger hunt". Local police say that "as many as 200 students" take part in this nonsense. They prove to their friends that they did the dumb stuff by taking video of the asinine acts, and then destroying the evidence. So they prove that it happened (taking the video), and also prove that they know it's stupid (destroying the video).

Sing it with me now – momma's, don't let your babies grow up to be buttheads…

Source: Chicago Sun-Times

Image: phiredup.com

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Students Make Rev. Phelps Followers Run Away

Kelly Mills — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:35:00 GMT

Feel-good story? Members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, gathered a small protest near Omaha Central High School. The church is led by the Reverend Fred Phelps, and I'm sure you know who these folks are. They became famous when they protested at the funeral of Matthew Shepard, and have gone on to protest everywhere it would horrify you to see picketers, including the funerals of slain service members. You know, the "God Hates Fags" people. (Biting tongue now...)

However, when the group held up anti-homosexuality and anti-Obama signs near the high school last Friday, they were met by hundreds of student counter-protesters. The students chanted "Diversity" and "Gay is OK" and even busted out the Pledge of Allegiance. And, well, the kids got a little riled up, and they threw hamburgers and lemonade bottles and milk at the Westboro protesters. Ahem. Maybe I'm supposed to feel bad about the sort of violent reaction, but I really don't.

The police then advised the Phelps folks that the situation was getting a little out of hand and they might want to leave for their own personal safety. And so they did, ahem. So far no students have been disciplined, and the school spokeswoman said, "This hate group came to Central High at dismissal to provoke students... To some extent, we need to understand that these are young people, and we have to take into consideration this kind of extreme provocation." Totally. I'm with you, lady.

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Teacher Has Affair With Student, Parents Say Keep The Door Open

Brett Singer — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:00:00 GMT

OK, I really really really need to never say, "I'm beyond being surprised" EVER AGAIN.

From our big blog sibling Scanner (at Nerve.com), comes this little item.

Anna Louise Thompson, 28, was a "maths" teacher in Brisbane Australia (They says "maths" in Australia, I guess). For three years she had a sexual relationship with one of her female students, beginning when the student was 14. When the student fell in love with a fella, she turned her former lover in and Thompson was fired.

Apparently this was quite the affair to remember. It began "when Thompson proposed the 14-year-old girl go to lunch with her. It soon escalated into sleepovers and racy text messages... while Thompson continued to be married to her husband." Eventually they experimented with various sex toys and other things that sound like these two had a more interesting sex life than I ever will.

Here's the kicker:

But the couple were found out when the parents discovered them having sex one evening. Their reaction was simply to request that their daughter keep her door open when she had visitors. (bild.de)

Um, hi. If I come home and discover that one of my kids is having "relations" with someone their own age (forget about an adult), we're going to have a little chat. I definitely don't want them to do it in my house WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE I'M THERE. And did the parents not notice that Ms. Thompson was just a teeny bit older than their daughter? And that's giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming that they were unaware that Thompson was their daughter's "maths" teacher.

The remarkable thing about all of these sex scandals is how often they seem to occur. When you were in school, did you know anyone who was getting a little, shall we say, extra credit? Just based on the odds, I'd say somebody must know of a situation like this.

(Thanks to Brian Fairbanks at Scanner for the tip.)

Source: Scanner

Image/Original story: bild.de

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Teacher's Aide Suspended For Racial Obama Jokes

Brett Singer — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 19:30:00 GMT

To quote outgoing President George W. Bush, what is our children learning? Apparently the curriculum is Truly Tasteless Jokes. (Anyone remember those?)

An instructional aide at a McCandless vocational school is serving an unpaid suspension for making what a student described as racist comments directed at President-elect Barack Obama.
During a lunch period last week, the aide at A.W. Beattie Career Center said Obama would be killed, KFC would be emblazoned on the American flag and the national anthem would become "Movin' on Up," according to the student's mother.

Mara Gilligan is the parent of a student at the school who complained. She said that her daughter says that the aid becomes "infuriated when anyone mentions Obama…That's fine, you can have your own beliefs, but when you start yelling at someone, that's unacceptable."

This is doubly true with regard to teachers. First of all, I don't want to hear that they express their political views from either side of the aisle. (If McCain had won, would the aide have done a week-long "nyah-nyah" dance?) And the jokes – oof. On what planet does anyone think that's an OK thing to say to a student? It's one thing to have dumb thoughts like that, but when it pops out of your mouth in a school setting, maybe you need to consider a different line of work.

Not that it should matter, but the article mentions that the school's student body is 2.8 percent African-American; the student who complained was biracial. I know at my high school, any teacher who had made a joke like that would have found themselves locked in a closet for a few hours. And that was when Reagan was President.

The aide, identified by the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review as Chris Skertich, has been suspended without pay "pending a further investigation." In a way, I sort of hope this isn't true. Although a kid making up a story like this wouldn't be much better than a teacher who made those jokes. A little bit better. But not much.

Source: pittsburghlive.com

Image: Amazon.com

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They Say: Best Place to Raise Kids is Chicago Suburb

JeanneSager — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:33:00 GMT

Think it's time to pull up stakes and move the family? If you're on the east coast, go west. And if you're on the west, you might want to go east. Family's best bet is apparently right in the middle – according to the second annual BusinessWeek report on the best place in America to raise a family.

Winning the family friendliest award this year is Mount Prospect, Ill., a Chicago suburb of fifty-six thousand. The mostly middle-class community has little crime, affordable housing and award-winning schools (the high school was just ranked twelfth in the state for public schools and its marching band just grabbed its twenty-sixth state title - no word on the number of trombones). They've got a mall and ethnic restaurants, clean air and a dearth of McMansions.

It all sounds good to me, but I was disappointed to see the metrics used to determine the best of the best. Those of us who've escaped to more rural areas (or, like me, returned to our small childhood communities) were automatically stricken from the list. BusinessWeek's rubric knocked out towns with populations of fewer than fifty thousand and median household incomes of less than $40,000 or more than $100,000.By the same token, a drive right up the road to Chicago is apparently out of the question for these parents (despite 'Derby blogger Shannon's well-written and compelling piece relating her experience as a city parent)

Mount Prospect might well still come out on top, but I'd like to throw my little town in the ring. The nearest mall is nearly an hour's drive, but we have dairy cows for my daughter to visit just down the road. There are people keeping the heat at 60 all winter to make it through, but we have back roads where she can ride her tricycle without risk of running into a single SUV. My school had its limitations, but I could name all 600 students in grades kindergarten through twelve when I walked out the door; and every teacher who sees my daughter in the grocery store these days tells her a personal anecdote about her mother. It isn't the place for everyone, but it's a place where my husband and I have found people have an investment in one another. When someone asks about my grandfather, they want to know the answer. And in years to come, when he's long gone, they'll keep him alive for my daughter in their stories. Trade that for 50,000 neighbors and the nation's best school district? Sorry, no.

I'm not knocking the true 'burbs, but does a mall really make the town? Do poor people break it? Check out the report and see if your town made the cut.

Image: Village of Mount Prospect

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The Painful Reason Bullies Bully

Kelly Mills — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 18:27:00 GMT

There's an idea that kids who bully lack empathy or simply don't feel for their victims. But a new study indicates the truth might be more disturbing than that. Researchers took an admittedly small sample of eight boys, ages 16 to 18, with aggressive conduct disorder, and a group of eight adolescent boys with no obvious aggressive behavior. They showed both groups video footage of someone inflicting pain on another person, and used MRI to track the brain patterns of both groups.

What they found was pretty creepy: The boys with aggressive conduct disorder showed high activity in two areas of the brain that regulate pleasure, but less activity in the region involved in self-regulation. In other words, the bully group actually derived pleasure from seeing others in pain. This might seem somewhat obvious, but it does counter the theory that bullies simply feel nothing towards their victims. In fact, they may just get off on hurting others.

The researchers say more investigation with a larger sample is in order. However, they were impressed by the striking difference in brain activity between the two groups of kids. And boy, am I grateful I'm not in high school any more--though I've met some adults who probably fit this description as well.

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Evangelical Teens' Very Active Sex Lives

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:00:00 GMT

In this week's issue of The New Yorker, there's a cartoon that made me laugh so hard I spit out my tea. Although it's not technically Bristol Palin's unborn child speaking, it easily could be. Two kids are sitting on a stoop and one says to the other, "I was an abstinence-only baby."

An article by Margarot Talbot in this same New Yorker tackles the issue of evangelical teen pregnancy in a more serious vein. Even for someone who is already convinced that abstinence-only sex education doesn’t work, these statistics are shocking.

Although 74 percent of white evangelical teenagers are opposed to premarital sex, more evangelical teens are sexually active than almost any other major religious group, including mainline Protestants, Jews, and Mormons. The average age for an evangelical to lose her virginity is 16. And half of these kids are not using protection. Compare that with 69 percent of non-evangelical teens who report using contraception every time they have sex.

The reason for this high percentage of unsafe sex among evangelical teens likely stems from shame at being sexually active—if you carry around condoms or suggest using one, you could give the impression that you are looking for sex. Furthermore, abstinence-only sex ed. teaches that condoms are not effective protection against STDs and pregnancy.

As we’ve seen in the widespread conservative support for Bristol Palin’s plans to get married and have a baby at age 17, for many evangelical parents, a teen daughter becoming pregnant is not a problem—so long as she keeps the baby and marries the father. This is a perfectly valid attitude based on a personal moral belief. The problem is that this retroactive problem solving often does not lead to happy families.

The states with the highest divorce rates and the highest teen pregnancy rates are all red (where people are, obviously, more likely to be evangelical conservatives than social liberals). The states with the lowest divorce and teen-pregnancy rates are all blue.

Many are arguing, even within the evangelical community, that if Christians want to preserve a commitment to abstinence until marriage, they must do more to encourage happier, younger marriages, since delaying sex until age 25 or 30 is just not realistic.

A large part of encouraging young Christians to have happier relationships is offering them more realistic attitudes toward sex. If hormonal teenagers are taught, for instance, that masturbation is sinful, they are more likely to have less engagement with and control over their bodies. Similarly, teen girls who are taught that they can always become "born-again virgins" if they "accidentally" have sex before marriage are not likely to embark on a responsible sex life. And such guilt-addled, unrealistic attitudes toward sex are likely to cause problems for couples well into marriage.

Photo: Mary Ellen Mark/The New Yorker

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Explaining Financial Troubles to the Kids

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:57:00 GMT

With disappearing 401(k) savings, exorbitant gas prices, and piling up medical bills, many families are being forced to make serious changes in their spending patterns. This can be a shock for teens and preteens who grew up in the 90s, during affluent times in which the prevailing wisdom in the U.S. extolled making your kids happy. Average teen allowances nationwide are upwards of $100 a month, and many high schoolers have credit cards.

But last week, a survey found that teen spending had dropped by 27 percent. Considering that much of this spending money comes from allowances or gifts, we can be pretty sure the kids are not being thrifty out of choice.

As parents struggle to explain the crisis to teens freaked out by dire newspaper headlines and cutbacks in family expenditures, parents may see their kids as spoiled or bratty, while teens may see their parents as unreasonable or over-anxious. One mother interviewed by the New York Times started showing her confused and upset teenagers the monthly bills. Another father threatened to charge his kids’ friends rent for sleeping over.

Some families have found the crisis to be a good opportunity to become close with their children in new ways. Asking your kids to brainstorm about ways to cut back on family spending makes them feel valued and useful, and helps prepare them to find their own way in less than optimum economic times. Some parents have stopped hiring lawn cutters and housecleaners, choosing instead to pay their kids (far less) for the same services.

How have other parents changed your families’ spending patterns? Have you talked to your kids about the changes?

Photo: New York Times

Chicago LGBT High School Update

Shannon LC Cate — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:00:00 GMT

The Chicago School Board is set to vote October 22 on the opening of 17 new schools, including the "School for Social Justice Pride Campus, according to the Tribune. The school has received the support of most public school system leaders in Chicago, who argue that research shows that lgbt students face a difficult time in high school, dropping out at a higher than average rate and missing school for fear of violence.

The debate still rages on the sidelines that if such a school is opened, it will ghettoize lgbt students, lightening the burden on all schools to make themselves safe for all students.

I can't help but still feel that such a school--with no more than 600 students drawn by lottery--would, rather than ghettoizing queer kids, give them a secure setting in which to learn the history of sexual minorities, find out about the kind of work being done to further queer liberation in our culture and from which to take strong youth leadership roles in the community. So many queer youth grow up in a vaccuum, not knowing the history of struggle for justice for "their" people and hearing themselves referred to only in perjorative ways.

A district that prioritizes the needs of these students so much as to open a campus to serve them specifically is making a statement about the value of these kids and their potential for unique contributions to society. I do hope that having the school in the district will make for more inclusive curricula in all the schools. With only 600 slots available at the Pride campus, plenty of queer kids will still find themselves mainstreamed into general student populations. And it's not only lgbt kids who need to learn about lgbt issues, it's the kids who toss "that's so gay" around without thinking.

Watch this space for an update after the vote in a couple of weeks.

Also on this topic:

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Sarah Palin's High School Grades?!?

SunnyChanel — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:14:00 GMT

If someone is a “heartbeat” away from being the President of the United States of America, I want that person to not only be smarter than me now, but smarter than I was in high school. Sarah Palin, it appears, is not that person. There is “allegedly” a version of Sarah Palin’s (then Sarah Heath) high school grades from the "College Board Admission Testing Program" are floating around the web. With a grade point average of 2.2, she isn’t flunking, but this is far from depicting “leader” braininess and there's not one “honors” class or A to boot. She even “allegedly” got a D in Foreign Language.

But there is a lot of chatter and criticism that the report card could be a forgery. I’m not sure why any one would go through the trouble. They must have some serious time on their hands. Next tinme, maybe they could come over and clean my house instead. But in the end, this is just a good lesson for our children. Get good grades now, ‘cos you never know how, when or where those bad grades will haunt you.

Via Gawker

LGBT "Magnet" Schools: Help or Hurt?

LilySea — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:44:00 GMT

The HRC reports that “A group of over 200 people met last week to discuss a proposal to open the city’s first high school for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth. The Social Justice High School Pride Campus would focus on core college-preparatory curriculum but cater to LGBT youth in the Chicago public school district. Critics fear that the school would allow district administrators to neglect the responsibility to make all schools safe for LGBT students."

I admit, I didn't think of the catch when I saw a similar headline on a local LGBT paper in a box on the corner. Regardless, I still think such a school, modeled on the Harvey Milk High School in New York, is a great idea. I once taught in an urban high school where, in spite of the presence of a popular out and proud gay vice principal, kids still threw around the usual “that's so gay/he's a fag/what a dyke” insults as freely as any other place I'd taught. Also in spite of the vice principal, every queer teacher in the school except me was deeply closeted. I was chastised more than once for being “too open” about my “lifestyle” by a supervisor with a poster-sized black-and-white photo of his shirtless self and his tank-top-clad wife hanging over his classroom where most teachers have a world map or a “say no to drugs” poster.

While I do believe every school should be safe for every student, properly organized and run, a magnet-type program for young queers and their allies could set a friendly tone for an entire school district while nurturing the next generation of leaders in queer freedom movements.