Strollerderby : homebirth

Home Birth: A Right or a Must?

JeanneSager — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 16:38:00 GMT

I wasn't surprised to read Melanie Reid's assumption that home birthing moms are all sandal-wearing hippie freaks (OK, I added that last part). It's the way a lot of people look at women who decided to deliver a baby at home. That's not to say I agreed with her.

But even with her narrow description of the type of woman who decides to give birth at home, Reid's piece in the Times of London this week hit upon some pretty shocking numbers: home birthing is on the rise after decades of decline, but so too are the numbers of people pushing to make home birth THE way to give birth.

And that, I have to admit, I'm not kosher with.

Because for all the wonderful things that home birth offers, and all the reasons I think it should be available to any mother who wants to try it, the one thing I have heard from most moms who have actually given birth at home is that what empowered them to do it was knowing the hospital was just a phone call - and an ambulance ride - away should they need it.

I'm not sure if Reid has met your average home birther, to be honest. She calls the countries where home birthing rates are low as the "sensible" ones, and calls hospitals"the only intelligent, progressive, logical place to give birth." Ask your average home birthing advocate, and she will actually tell you hospitals ARE progressive, intelligent, logical places to give birth - if you need them. The truly sensible home birthers decided to make the choice based on medical assessments, which you very well might call progressive - considering back in the day there was no doctor checking for fetal distress before a woman on the prairie gave birth in her house. If the hospital becomes necessary, the sensible homebirthers say OK, and get there . . . pronto.

As our own home birthing Strollerderby writer Madeline Holler pointed out in her Babble essay on the topic, when she asked her midwife all the what ifs, the dangerous ones pointed to a trip to the hospital - no matter what:

What if the cord slips out before the baby? (We go straight to the hospital.) Bleeding? (Hospital.) Premature labor? (Hospital.)

But, as Reid explains, there's a difference between helping women to realize their dreams of a homebirth and actively advocating we all head in that direction. Wales actually put out a target of having at least ten percent of women give birth at home (this was in 2002, and their target year was 2007 - they're two years past and nowhere near it).

Why?

Because for all its advantages (and there are plenty - read Madeline's essay, she's been there, done that, and can explain them much better than a hospital birther like me), the hospital birth remains its back up because it has something a home can't have: the means to deal with complications. Midwives have modern medical training and are fantastic for your average birth, but outside of a hospital setting, if something DOES go wrong, where do they send you? You got it.

Which means pushing women to have a homebirth, rather than simply accommodating those who want to give it a go, does indeed put us back toward the dark ages. It means putting more women at risk, more babies at risk. The reason a select few women give birth at home in countries like the U.K. and the U.S. is not only because, as Reid claims "We're squeamish. We are hardwired to go to hospital and have our babies there. It's what we do. It's in our modern DNA."

It's because that's a better option for a lot of women. Not all. But a lot. Women like me who had to have pitocin adminstered because my daughter just WOULD NOT come out. Or women like my friend whose son had been improperly measured by her midwife and came out with shoulder distortion because he was just too darn big for her tiny frame. It's better for women with pre-existing conditions, babies with elevated heart rates.

Pushing for the opposite, pushing women to return to their homes, to take away their access to the modern advances of technology heightens the risks for women, gives insurance companies the excuse NOT to cover services and demeans the needs many women experience during labor and delivery. So some women can do just fine in a birthing pool at home. So some women make it through balancing on a ball in their bedroom. Not all of us can.

Very simply: it's one thing to chose a home birth. It's another to get the most out of home birth.

Image: TrueBirth

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Mattress Ad Features Homebirth

Madeline Holler — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:01:00 GMT

Not sure what the mattress ads in your TV market are like, but around here, they typically feature a wacky mattress store giant ready to slash prices on name brands! (Pillow tops! Kings!) Or a barely compatible couple setting wildly variant firmness levels on his/her side of the bed.

But in today's installment of How Euros Aren't Like Americans, we bring you the mattress ad. Here's a French one featuring two guys snuggling with the line "And you, how do you sleep?"

Or this: an ad from Spain featuring a homebirth.

Unless you work for hippies (or in Spain), this video is NSFW.

The Spanish mattress company, Flex, features a Barcelona couple's homebirth and the slogan, "Your bed, the most important place in the world." The couple explain they wanted the birth to happen in their Flex, because that's where their son as born (comfort! durability!).

What do you think? Sweet ad plucking our heart strings, or a call for the return of mattress giants worldwide?

Video: YouTube

[via birthactivist.com]

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Homebirthing Advocate's Baby Dies During Homebirth

Brett Singer — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 12:00:00 GMT

Janet Fraser is a big advocate for homebirth. She is described as "one of the principals behind the homebirth organization Joyous Birth," and goes so far as to call C-sections and episiotomies "birthrape." "I don't care if you don't like the word or the idea," she writes in an article on the site. "Survivors are angry and we are starting to talk about it."

Sadly, Ms. Fraser lost her baby during a recent homebirth. One site says that she had been in labor for "several days" at her Australian home. The Age had published an interview with Fraser a week before, in which she stated that she planned to deliver "the baby at home without an attending midwife," prompting The Australian College of Midwives to say that she "recklessly" promotes "free-birthing," which is where the mother gives birth alone, according to London's Daily Mail. (If that's not a good description of free-birthing, let me know and I'll update this article.)

The Age reports that police are investigating the newborn child's death. At press time authorities were unsure if the baby died after delivery or was stillborn; in the latter case, there is no autopsy.

It's tremendously sad when this happens of course, no matter where the birth occurs. It never occurred to my wife and I to have a homebirth, but of course millions of people do it and everything turns out fine. Medpie offers some statistics that are alarming, such as one study that found "an infant mortality rate of 2.2 per thousand for home births and 0.7 per thousand for hospital births in Sweden." They interpret these numbers as saying that "having a home birth resulted in a preventable death of the infant in one out of every 666 cases," which they call "not a reassuring number." But again, I'm not trying to say that homebirthing is automatically a bad idea. It's a choice, one that should be taken very seriously.

The real problem with Fraser's views isn't the views themselves but the way she expresses them. She's clearly angry, and may have reason to be. But as with those who are strong proponents of breastfeeding, it's better to advocate rather than attack anyone that may do things differently than you do. C-sections are sometimes medically necessary. Is that a "birthrape"? The rest of the site appears to be equally high in volume, such as this page about C-sections which makes the claim "The fact is that surgery is a suboptimal way to be born and that most surgeries are not for evidence based reasons," (emphasis not added), and advises mothers to "Put your anger where it belongs - with your surgeon." Because yelling at your doctor is an excellent way to get better healthcare.

With the obvious tragedy of what happened to Ms. Fraser's baby, it seems uncouth to really go after her with the same level of vituperativeness that she displays on the Joyous Birth site. And one sad event does not mean that every homebirth is a bad idea. But it seems fair to take a moment to suggest that the best course of action, when lives are at stake, is to take a deep cleansing breath and consider all of your options, rather than act out of anger or any sort of revolutionary zeal.

Source: medpie.com, others

Image from here

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What's a 'Laborist' and Why is She At Your Birth?

Madeline Holler — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:56:00 GMT

Go home and go to bed, OBs! Stay in the margins, skilled midwives! There's a new birth attendent in town and she's coming to a hospital near you.

Or, perhaps, she's already there.

In an effort to fill the void of obstetrician-gynecologists who have stopped delivering babies, hospitals are increasingly staffing "laborists" or "OB specialists" to attend the births up in Labor and Delivery. Maybe one attended your recent birth?

These laborists are, indeed, doctors themselves. They just don't have their own OB practices, don't pay astronomical malpractice insurance and typically work only part time -- maybe a weekend shift or a few nights a week.

Some hospitals think having laborists fill in during birth will make giving birth in the hospital safer since they can be with the laboring mother from the time she arrives at the hospital. Laborists also won't suffer sleep deprivation, since their shifts are defined. The fact that laborists will attend the births also means OBs won't have to cancel the morning's appointments to rush to the hospital. So it's win-win ... for doctors and hospitals!

But let's focus on the mom for a sec. Is it fair that after doing all her research and getting to know her OB over nine-ish months that she should show up on the big day and be greeted by a perfect stranger? After discussing her birth plan, hopes and dreams, should she have to go over it all again, presumably between contractions? What about philosophical clashes between the pre-natal OB and the laborist? Is this the final step in the McDonald's-ization of L&D?

The woman featured in this Boston Globe article on laborists was pleasantly surprised by her laborist and all the attention she got while in labor. She says she had never spent so much time with a doctor. And this was BEFORE she even began pushing out the baby. What's interesting to me is that this woman wasn't even told a laborist might be there attending her birth. That would bother me greatly.

I'm all about midwives and homebirth, but I've had a hospital birth and I do kind of like the idea of (1) someone attending the birth who's pulling a shift and not anxious to get home and (2) a doc who is well-rested and not burned out on birth.

Is a laborist for you? Is this any different than getting care from a large practice of OBs who share responsibility anyway? Or does this make you want to hug your midwife a little closer?

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Photo: Boston Globe

Placentas Washing Up in Illinois Sewer

Madeline Holler — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 23:27:00 GMT

A public health administrator in Champaign, Ill., is asking that whoever is dumping fresh born plancentas into the local sewage system to, you know, stop it.

For the third time, workers at the local water treatment plant found afterbirth caught in a filter designed to keep large foreign objects (including human organs!) out of the treatment facility.

The placentas are consider potentially infectious medical waste and regulations forbid disposal in the sewer system.

The department apparently believes the flushed placentas were from homebirths. From a letter released by the public health office:

The individual or individuals in the community that have been engaging in this practice must stop immediately and begin disposing of the medical waste associated with home births in an approved manner. ...

Local health authorities strongly encourage community members to alert the proper agencies if they have any information regarding the unauthorized disposal of medical waste.

Authorities are investigating.

I think there's probably more to this story. Illinois is another of many states were midwifery is basically, if not outright, illegal. But homebirths attended by illegal midwives happen frequently and have been documented. So I think there's probably something more to this case -- that it's not some illegal but skilled and trained midwife flushing placentas down the toilet. Then again, I watch too much Law & Order.

Be like me and throw the things in the trash.

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Photo: blog.wired.com

UPS Guy Really Delivers

Amy Kuras — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 21:02:00 GMT

What can brown do for you? Well, for UPS delivery driver Craig Ramirez, he took “rapid delivery” to a whole new level last week when he delivered his fifth kid in his living room. In the dark, no less.

Ramirez’s wife Lisa woke him at 3:30 am to tell him she was in labor. They’d been through this four previous times, so they both felt they knew the drill. However, Lisa was putting on her shoes at the front door, ready to head to the hospital, when she started yelling that she felt the head.

His reaction was about the same as mine would be in the same situation: "I said, 'No, it can't be coming. It can't. That's not even in the realm of reality.'"

He called 911, but there wasn’t enough time to get there. Lisa stood up and leaned on the sofa, and Craig put his hands on his daughter’ head, and helped her slip out into the world.

He said he was guided by what he’s seen the doctors do in the births of their previous four children, but was pretty terrified. "I thought, 'I can't do this.' But there was nothing else I could do. It was me. That's it. I said, 'Craig, it's all you, man.' "

The 911 operator told him to tie off the cord, which he did, and the paramedics arrived totake them to the hospital to get checked over.

Little Amelia Yvonne and her mother are doing fine. And dad is taking tons of ribbing from his fellow delivery drivers.

Health Minister: Giving Birth Standing Up Saves Lives

Madeline Holler — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:02:00 GMT

Just before I was ready to push out my second baby, I went to lay down on my back, which was how I gave birth the first time. My midwife, however, did that nice midwife-y talking and somehow convinced me to actually hoist myself onto my knees and lean against a chair. So I did.

A few minutes (hours? Who knows during labor ....) my second daughter slithered on out. Four words: huge baby, no tearing.

For that reason alone I'm a convert to birthing upright, what apparently is called in the biz "vertical birth."

Continuing our coverage of birth around the world, we bring you Reuters' 40-picture slideshow and multi-part feature on vertical birth in Peru, a practice health ministers are now encouraging in an effort to cut the country's abysmal maternal mortality rate. At least 185 women in every 100,000 births die in childbirth there each year (in the U.S., it's more like 20 in every 100,000).

From Reuters:

Peru's health ministry has said vertical birthing positions can be healthier for women by reducing pressure on the uterus and large blood vessels that can affect the amount of oxygen going to the baby. Standing or sitting during childbirth also tends to reduce labor and delivery time, according to the health ministry, and allows the mother to watch the birth better than if she were lying down.

Sitting and standing to give birth alone won't cut the numbers. However, officials hope that by respecting Andean traditions, such as upright birth and allowing women to stay dressed during birth, will encourage more to make the trip to the public clinics where complications and emergencies can be handled. Several hundred of these clinics have been set up around the country.

Interesting sidenote: the photographer writes a blog entry about her experiences at the clinic. A birth mother herself, she was nonetheless transformed by it all and fasicinated that the clinic overcame various obstacles like losing power and unsharpened scissors (yow!). But she returns time and again to feeling such sadness for the fact that these women don't have epidurals.

From her blog at Reuters:

These births are natural, without anesthesia. The pre-labor room, where the women endure the pains before actually giving birth, is really a chamber of terror in which the women scream out their pain, lying on the floor or pacing. They suffer, endure and survive in spite of not receiving anything for the pain.

"Chamber of terror"? For whom? The women? Look at their faces, they're in labor -- some are really in the zone. It's birth, of course they're in pain. But I'm thinking the terror may have mostly been the photographer's.

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Photos and image: Reuters

Home Delivery Only for Pizza?

Adrienne Martini — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Let me be upfront with my bias -- I'm not pro-homebirth and I'm not pro-hospital birth. Frankly, I can see both sides of the argument. In this fight, I am Switzerland; especially since my baby birthing days are done. Still, the recent bumper stickers passed out at the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) really pissed me off. What did they say?

"Home Delivery is Only For Pizza."

Seriously? Are they docs that threatened by the practice of homebirth that it required a snarky bumper sticker? Apparently, yes. So their biggest fear is that the 1 percent of births that take place at home might grow to a whopping 2 percent? Are you kidding me?

For a well-balanced take on the topic of home v. hospital births, this Baltimore City Paper cover story, which is where I found out that ACOG tidbit, is a good place to start. For a personal account of what it's like to break the law by giving birth, the 'derby's own Ms Holler wrote an essay about her illegal delivery.

As for me, I'm going to go walk until I don't want to smack someone. At this rate, I might end up walking to Vancouver.

Photo credit: Michelle Gienow

Breakin' the Law with Birth

Adrienne Martini — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:30:00 GMT

Strollerderby's own Madeline Holler has done something that has amazed us all in the 'derby "office." No, it's not that she sorta broke the law when she birthed her second daughter. No, it's not how she handled said daughter's placenta. None of those things impressed us much.

What really stunned us all is that Holler delivered an almost 11 pound little girl without any drugs. Seriously. I need an Advil and a sitz bath just thinking about it.

Read Holler's excellent essay on midwives, natural births and kiddie pools. The betting pool on how long it takes the AMA to discredit our little Miss Holler will open later in the week.

Top OB: Keep Men Out of Delivery Room

Madeline Holler — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:02:00 GMT

Michel Odent is a big name French obstetrician among natural and homebirth advocates. He's attended more than 15,000 births and written lots of books. He thinks midwives should be present for most births and that homebirth is better than hospital birth in most situations. He's all love, touch, peace, quiet, bond, bond, bond when it comes to women and birth -- a definite shift from the way things were when he started in the biz a half a billion years ago.

However! He has recently come out against one of the hallmarks of modern, evolved, woman-centered birth as we know it today. He thinks men should be nearby -- but not present -- at birth.

Huh.

Here's a bit of what he wrote in the Daily Mail:

... That there is little good to come for either sex from having a man at the birth of a child.

For her, his presence is a hindrance, and a significant factor in why labours are longer, more painful and more likely to result in intervention than ever.

As for the effect on a man - well, was I surprised to hear a friend of mine state that watching his wife giving birth had started a chain of events that led to the couple's divorce?

Okay, there, Dr. Odent. First, I think you need to settle down -- that divorce has got you totally freaked out. Second, you complain later that there hasn't been any scientific study on the effect of men's presence, so your anecdotes aren't exactly meaningful. Third, a couple of divorces/mother-child abandonments after 15,000 births? That's actually pretty good, non?

He goes on to say that men in the delivery room might be responsible for the increase in interventions and c-sections, because labor is being delayed or prolonged since women aren't relaxed enough to give birth with a man in the room.

Look, I'm not about to argue that watching your partner crap on the bed or push out a placenta is every (any?) person's form of fun. I'd even say that for some it's a real dread. Those people should be allowed to opt out. And knowing their husbands won't be comfortable seeing all that is certain to make some women uncomfortable or hesitant, and all that is just fine. Men who don't want to attend a birth shouldn't be stigmatized (which, my guess is, they are to some degree). And women who don't want their husbands/partners present shouldn't feel bad about making other arrangements.

But I still wouldn't discount every guy's presence as a hindrance to labor.

For me, my husband was a presence I can't imagine having been without. Who else but him knows that a subtle lift of my left eyebrow means shut the fucking midwife up (I was transitioning)? Who else knows to not laugh at my "jokes" during labor and instead give me looks of pity (but not too long or too pitiful).

Odent says the high-adrenalin response of a husband's fear is contagious and affects the moms and the labor. That might be true, but is every man scared of birth? Panicky? Not even.

All that said, I wonder if there aren't some women who think their births would have gone better without their husband/partners but didn't dare say anything. Any men feel like they had no choice but to stand there on the business end feeling totally uncomfortable?

Also, anybody find it weird that Odent's reporting these reactions of women due to men in the birthing room -- they sound like firsthand accounts -- and, well, Dr. Odent himself is a guy? How does that square with his argument?

Photo: BabyandPregnancy.co.uk

Weekly Check-Up: Natural Birth Like the Dutch

Kelly Mills — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:29:00 GMT

There's an interesting report on the Dutch tradition of giving birth from the perspective of a Reuters reporter. Basically, the Dutch believe birth optimally happens at home (30 percent of births happen this way, compared to a tiny fraction in the U.S.,) no pain medication is necessary, and that labor pains are part of the way the mother bonds with the baby. (If so, I ought to be practically fused to my child.) The bottom line is that birth is not seen as a medicalized process. Oh, and get this: A maternity nurse takes care of the family at home for a week and does cooking, cleaning, and infant care. Sign me up for that part!

While I've never been a convert to the notion of natural birth as essential--at least, not since the epidural became my BFF--I will freely admit that the Dutch system makes the whole thing sound kinda nice. However, it does sound like some feel that pain relief should be more readily available to moms in labor. As it stands now, there's no guarentee an anesthesiologist will be available, since it isn't seen as necessary. However, even those who want more options for women say it would be a shame to lose the Dutch perspective and practices in labor and delivery. But this is nice from an ob-gyn professor: "Giving birth at home, a unique Dutch tradition, should not be a goal in itself. What really matters is a good result of the pregnancy for mother and child." You said it.

Unassisted Birth -- Help Me Out

Madeline Holler — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 22:46:00 GMT

When I read stories about women who opt to give birth at home allllll by themselves -- no help from a midwife or a doctor or a staff of nurses -- I think to myself, "can you blame them?" I know, I know, a lot of you are thinking these people are just trying to be heroes or adhere to some kind of radical hippie code that shuns any relationship with established authority. Or you think they're narcissistic idiots who put their own childbirth dreams above the health and safety of an innocent child. Homebirth moms get that kind of talk too.

But I think all that's wrong. Quite wrong.

Pregnant women in the U.S. are in this totally weird position where our reproductive rights are, on both ends of the conception and pregnancy chronology, narrowing quickly. State judges, with the eventual help of the Supreme Court, are shrinking options on the early end of the spectrum. Doctors, hospital administrators, and insurance companies and legislatures (who make midwifery a crime) are taking away choices at the latter end.

Let's focus on the latter:

More than one third of all childbirth in the U.S. results in surgery -- a c-section. Some are, of course, necessary (but, like, 10 percent). A tiny percentage are the "too posh to push" variety and not indicated, but allowed (and hey, it's your choice, I won't stand in your way.). More are the "once-a-c-section-always-a-c-section," variety and then the rest, a significant number, could probably have been avoided all together.

It's the last two that, I think, push women to go the DIY route. In loads of hospitals all over the country, VBACs have been banned. Doctors and midwives are not allowed to do these vaginal births after ceseareans because of some studies that say there is an increased chance for uterine rupture in VBACs. Which may or may not be true, but that chance of which they speak is actually quite small. So what do you do? Avoid the hospital.

And avoidable c-sections? There a loads of ways to decrease one's risk of being pushed to have a c-section, but many can't be done in the hospital. Get in a tub, move around, stay off IV fluids, don't get hooked up to continuous fetal monitors, blah, blah, blah. They were in the birth plan! But the pressure! Look at what the quoted doctor has to say:

"What women need to appreciate is that the few hours of labor are the most dangerous time during the entire lifetime of the soon-to-be-born child," said Dr. Frank Chervenak, Chairman of Obstetrics and Gynecology at New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell. "Because of this, I would argue ... all soon-to-be born children have a right to access immediate Caesarean delivery, and women who are denying this right are irresponsible."

So what do you do in your next pregnancy? That's right. Avoid the hospital and that attitude toward pregnancy and childbirth.

What about the child? Well there are risks to childbirth and those risks play out in different ways in each of the settings a woman might want to give birth in. Don't think women and babies don't die after childbirth in hospitals, which is NOT saying death in the hospital is certain and likely. Just like it's not certain and likely at home or unassisted.

What I'm trying to say is that women/patients/clients want what they want. Because there are so many possibilities. So many ways to do it right. So few ways that make it wrong (smoking crack comes to mind -- but who am I to judge?) Yet hospitals, midwives and doctors only allow for (without battles) a certain range of them. And that's fine for them and their jobs. But not fine for some women. So some women opt for birthing centers with midwives or doctors, or homebirth with midwives or (the few remaining homebirth) doctors. And some women opt to go it alone.

Unassisted birth is not for me, but like I said, who can blame them?

PS: Is it me or is that a fake belly on the woman in the picture? Just asking ...

Photo: ABC News

U.K. Gives Laboring Moms More Options for Pain

Madeline Holler — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 11:25:00 GMT

I assume most adults, parents or not, know there is more than one way to give birth. There’s vaginal delivery, with or without the epidural, there’s c-section, planned or emergency. There’s birth at a hospital, birthing center, convenience store or at home.

We make our choices, we have our babies.

Problem is, this list is hardly exhaustive, a fact that becomes apparent when we look at other countries. Even some of the options mentioned before are available only if you happen to live in the right state. Homebirth, or a hospital birth attended by midwives, or vaginal births after c-sections, for example, aren't legal or available for every American women who may want to safely attempt one.

Jennifer Block, author of “Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care," blogged about childbirth in the U.K., where experts are encouraging homebirth for healthy pregnant women. She also makes this shocking revelation: many, many of the pain relief options available to laboring women in the U.K. are unheard of here in the States.

Apparently, women there can hook up to a TENS machine the size of an iPod, which delivers little electric shocks to muscle tissue and helps in relaxation through early labor contractions. Laboring Brits may also be offered hits of nitrous oxide for pain (that's the stuff in the dentist's office). The idea is to delay the epidural so women are able to move into different positions while laboring and also keep them free to sit in tubs, also widely available there.

Yeah, who isn’t a little sick of hearing about how much better healthcare and birth outcomes are in other countries – you know, like Bosnia – than in the U.S. It's just all the more shocking to know that the few variations on birth and labor support here in the States are truly very few.

Mrs. Morgan Spurlock Births a Red-Hot Bowling Ball - Can You?

Alisyn — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 00:00:00 GMT

Alexandra Jamison, vegan chef and wife to documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, gave birth to a supersized baby boy last Saturday in Manhattan. Nine pound, 23 inch Laken James was born at home, after his mama labored for 36 hours without any drugs.

Vegan chef… Morgan Spurlock… nine pounds… 36 hours… NO DRUGS… This lady’s fuckin’ nuts!

But she’s not alone. Other homebirthin’ celebrity mamas include Cindy Crawford, Demi Moore, Meryl Street and Penny Lancaster (she’s the latest 7 foot blonde that geezer Rod Stewart has chosen as host body for his spawn). In fact, homebirths are on the rise all across the country.

I entertained the idea of a home birth with my first daughter for… oh, about half a second. Then I read Ayun Halliday’s take on natural childbirth: “it feels like a red-hot bowling ball is hammering to get out of your anus.” My commitment to the endeavor was anesthetized on the spot.

And wouldn’t you know it – that was exactly what my labor felt like! Except my red-hot bowling ball was also covered in acid and broken glass, and was shot out of a cannon into my vagina. When I collapsed on that hospital bed, and felt that epidural come barreling through my bloodstream, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. My kid’s birth was pretty cool, too.

No, in the end, an at-home, drug-free birth was not for me. But were you able to pull it off? If so, I salute you with my ladybits! And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Share your homebirthin' stories in the comments!