Strollerderby : housekeeping

Strollerderby Playdate: Is A Laundry Service Too Self-Indulgent?

Amy S.F. Lutz — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 12:09:00 GMT

Laura Vanderkam had an interesting piece on the Huffington Post this week about how much she loves her laundry service. My first thought was, who can blame her? Doesn't everyone hate laundry? Wouldn't we all rather be doing something else?

But, apparently, there are some people who would blame her. Vanderkam describes the experience of "Sarah," a Philadelphia mom who also uses a laundry service, and who has taken a lot of flack about it from her closest friends: "'A lot of my friends cannot believe I don't do my own laundry,' [Sarah] says. They tell her it only takes a little bit of time (though they haven't added up the hours). They tell her to just put the kids in front of a DVD while she folds shirts. But 'I don't want to spend less time with my children,' Sarah says. 'I want to spend less time doing housework.' After all, families may have fond memories of cooking together, she says, but no one waxes nostalgic that "My mom always had piles of laundry in a basket."

For the record, I am a firm believer in getting out of whatever tedious chores you can afford to pay someone else to do for you. I don't believe, as Vanderkam surmises many moms do, that "'caring for a family' means cooking, scrubbing, vacuuming, lunch packing, weeding, back to school clothes shopping and, yes, laundry, in addition to the emotional work of nurturing children's brains and souls." If I can do more of the latter (never mind taking care of my own brain and soul) while outsourcing the former, I'm going to write the check.

So, where do you stand? Do you believe, a la Barbara Ehrenreich, that employing househelp is unethical, and that if we all fired our nannies and housekeepers they would pursue other lucrative, challenging careers? Or are you suddenly intrigued by the idea of passing off a week's worth of laundry for the cost of dinner for two in a mediocre restaurant?

Mom Brain Is Not Such a Bad Thing

Amy Kuras — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:03:00 GMT

Maybe this is a second kid kind of a thing or a new baby situation, but man, I miss having my act together. Two short months ago, I totally felt I was rocking the work-at-home mom thing. Then baby #2 arrived, and while he is delightful and wonderful and a much, much easier baby than I deserve, there is no longer a single, solitary aspect of my life I am not ragingly behind on. Thank you notes unwritten, blogs not maintained, friends not called, books, hell, magazines unread. And we'll not talk about the tumbleweeds of pet fur all over my house or the disorganized cluster-you-know-what that is my work life.
So I found this essay, from Parenting (my least favorite parenting mag), of all places, very reassuring. Writer Margaret Renki posits that the kind of thinking we tend to do as mothers is just as meaningful and important as the stuff we once thought, and sometimes still do, about politics or art or The Meaning of Life.
I especially loved this:
"Motherhood forces us to understand, if only so we can teach it to our children, what really matters in the small space we each have between birth and death. And the easiest way for me to learn this lesson is by living in deep, penetrating kinship with other human beings -- by living, in other words, in a family."
I needed that, that reminder that this stuff matters even when it feels so small and trivial that the best thing I got done today was to keep everyone alive and loved.

Managing Life With A Slob

Amy S.F. Lutz — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 21:05:00 GMT

I just don't know how neat freaks can marry slobs. I mean, it just seems to me like that would be setting yourself up for one very tense household.

Sam R. Hamburg agrees with me. A clinical psychologist and marital therapist, Hamburg recommends in an article on CNN.com that couples talk specifically and extensively about their housekeeping expectations before they move in together.

What if you skipped that step? If you're already married to a slob, Hamburg still has recommendations for how to make it work.

First of all, Hamburg feels it's reasonable that the person who cares what the house looks like should do the bulk of the work. If you think that's unduly punitive to the neater spouse (while at the same time reinforcing the slob's messy tendencies), you might try a compromise solution: prioritize the chores that really need to be done, and try to find a level of organization the slob can maintain and the neatnik can tolerate.

You might also consider allowing the slob one room of to destroy as he (or she) sees fit. Conversely, the neat person might stake out a room as a refuge from the clutter in the rest of the house.

Finally, Hamburg recommends that those who can afford it hire someone to do the work, if it ends the arguments. It may seem extravagant, but we have a housekeeper and I will say I would rather swear off restaurants, vacations, theater tickets, you name it - than give her up.

Greenhouse: Baking Soda is Wonder Stuff

Amy Kuras — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:03:00 GMT

I'm not exactly the world's most fabulous housekeeper, but I do feel better when the house is clean. I just hate all the hard work required to do it. So I tend to turn to harsh cleaners that get the job done fast, all the while worrying about the effect it may have on the baby I am carrying or the air quality in the house for the people and pets that are already living here.

So I love coming across tips for inexpensive, nontoxic, green cleaners (because while I am totally Method's bitch, the cost mounts up). Like these tips for baking soda. I already knew it was a wonder substance, but I didn't know it could do things like put out small kitchen fires, kill roaches, and deodorize your hands (I'm assuming after chopping onions or garlic). And to keep drains clear, pour baking soda and vinegar down them once a week, which sounds like a chore my daughter and husband would fight for.

My favorite baking soda use is as a deodorizer for stanky gross laundry. When my daughter was in the "frequent accidents" phase of potty training, I'd throw a bunch in with any load that had her stuff in it and it came out smelling fine – I'm guessing it would work well on cloth diapers too. Plus I use it on sheets and towels; we all have sensitive skin and this helps soften and freshen them without giving us rashes.

Not only is it Earth-friendly, it's cheap. You can find it in giant bags at Costco and frequently find generics at the dollar store.