Strollerderby : how to

The Candy That Time Forgot

Brett Singer — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 21:45:00 GMT

I stumbled onto a list of candies that we are unlikely to encounter in our children's treat bags tonight. One of them (Bit O'Honey) was on my Babble List, but the rest weren't. Let's look at a few entries from the Island of Discarded Sweets:

Bubble Gum Cigarettes

To my recollection, these tasted really gross, but they blew sugary "smoke" and were therefore "cool" – or should that be "Kool"? I can't imagine seeing them today.

Candy Buttons

Nothing wrong with these, I guess – that is, they're not a candy that mimics a horrible unhealthy habit. But they do encourage the eating of paper, since it's impossible to get the stupid buttons off the backing without ingesting a little mashed up dead tree substance.

Wax Bottles

I have to be honest here. I've never tasted one of these. Whenever I encountered one, I avoided it like booger-flavored jellybeans. I guess it's some sort of sugary liquid encased in wax – is that right? Anyone want to enlighten me?

Sixlets

These were a rare treat. So good. Like M&M's but somehow fancier.

Toffifay

These always offended me a little bit. I can't remember if “It’s Too Good For Kids!” was the actual slogan but that was definitely the attitude. This and Toberlone – if these somehow ended up in my trick or treat bag, some dopey grown-up would liberate them from my possession. NO CANDY IS TOO GOOD FOR ME!

Pop Rocks

Man, do I not miss these things. They did not, I believe, actually kill Mikey. But they're so gross it's believable.

There's more, read the rest of the list here. Any old-time candy that you miss, or don't miss?

Source: MightyJunior

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How To Carve a Pumpkin (Video)

Brett Singer — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:00:00 GMT

If anyone hasn't gotten around to slicing and dicing their yearly Jack O'Lantern (me), or just wants a few tips on how to do it better (me), here is Chris Gould (not me) to show you how. Apparently it's all about etching rather than carving. In the spirit of the holiday, we'll forgive the Red Sox t-shirt.

Source: how2heroes.com

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Scare off Republican Trick or Treaters With the Obama Pumpkin

JeanneSager — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:35:00 GMT

Want to make a political statement with your family's Halloween celebration this year? Forget Caribou Barbie or stuffing your shirt with pillows to pull off "I was a teenage Alaskan who studied the abstinence-only approach to birth control." Thanks to two creative bloggers with a lot of time on their hands, and us at the 'derby with even more time to search the Web, we bring you . . . the Barack-o-lantern.

Kevin Fairdosi and friend Minh taped themselves pasting an Obama template (which they provide!) to a pumpkin, and they take you step by step through the carving of a candidate. The result looks a little creepy in the daylight, but the nighttime affect is downright eerie - in a good way. So grab your gourd, your knife, your scoop and the kids, and get carving (and by the way, if you're voting for McCain, hold onto the plans - you'll have something to take your agression out on come November 5).

Remember, It's all fun and games until someone carves a presidential candidate into the side of their gourd.

Images: Kevin Fairdosi

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Just in Time for Halloween: How to Make Your Own Slime!

JeanneSager — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 13:32:00 GMT

If you're too old for slime, you're too old to be using a computer. Seriously, Gramps, don't you know the evils you can find on this here machine?

There's just something so satisfying about sticking your hand in a big bucket of glop and making it fart. Or squeezing said glop in your fist and letting it dribble out between the fingers (bonus for fart noises).

Since slime brings out the kid in all of us, and Halloween is the ultimate kid holiday, I've scoured the 'net and found the best slime recipe out there, courtesy of InfoBarrel, to make your very own fart-tastic holiday fun:

Ingredients:

water
white glue (like Elmer's™)
borax
food coloring (the weirder the color, the creepier the ooze)

How to do it:

In one mixing bowl, combine 1 cup of water with 1 teaspoon borax
Stir until the borax has completely dissolved.
In a second bowl, combine 1/2 cup of water with 1/2 cup of glue.
Add food coloring until the mixture is the desired color.
Combine the two mixtures.
Once combined, the mixture will become more difficult to stir, so get rid of your spoon and start working the goop by hand.
When it seems like it's well mixed, remove it from the bowl (some colored water left behind is OK).

Your slime is ready! To store, slip slime into a zippered freezer bag and keep in the refrigerator.

Image: StarStore

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How Strollerderby Rolls: Weapons in the War Against Kid Filth

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 11:01:00 GMT

Kids are disgustingly dirty and nothing puts that assertion to the test like having two sick kids at home with noses that ooze snot. Why? Why can't they just blow when I say, "blow"? Then their little faucets wouldn't be running. Ugh. Anyway, the kids are miserable, and because I've also been working on a big project, the house is a disaster of epic proportions. This means, part of this weekend will be spent getting the place in order. Yuck.

The battle against kid filth and clutter in my home is never ending, but armed with the following trusty weapons, at least I can hold the line.

Clear plastic storage tubs in varying sizes ($2-$5). Smaller, shoe box-sized ones hold shells, leaves and beads. (Things my preschooler collects.) They also hold small toys and figurines, crayons, glue sticks, and craft supplies. Larger ones store big sisters' hand-me-downs awaiting little sister's wear, dress up paraphernalia, and serve as a catch-all for art I can't bear to throw away.

Dyson Slim ($470). All the power of a big, beefy Dyson packed into a slim, svelte sucker that weighs less than 16 pounds. This is the vacuum that can handle spilled glitter, jettisoned cous cous, and what happens when shoes get emptied of their playground sand right in the middle of the entryway. It's light enough to haul up and down stairs, too.

Air freshener, essential oil-based or chock-full of phthalates, your choice ($3-$15). Kids' rooms stank. My toddler's room takes hours to air out after she's been stewing in a naptime poopy diaper. A coupla sprays of something pretty, and I don't want to pass out everytime I walk in there. If you have a diaper pail in your house, you know you need air freshener.

Clorox Anywhere Sanitizing Spray ($4). Shhh. I don't want to hear about how germs are beneficial, blah blah blah. When my toddler comes up to me to show me that she is playing with her own mucus, I spray the shiznit out of my house. If I could spray it on her, I would.

Wet wipes of all kinds ($5). I don't know what I did before wet wipes. I use them on my kids, in my bathroom, in my kitchen, on my furniture , heck, even on my face. I don't have time to deep clean anything anymore. Sad. True.

Canned air. ($10-$15) What can't you clean with this? It's not just for keyboards anymore. It's perfect to clean goop and crud out of baby toys, crusty high chair cracks and crevices, and for "dusting" book shelves. Canned air is like my meth. Back off! Pssshhhhhhttt!

Let's keep this list going? What are some trusty weapons in your arsenal?

Strollerderby : how to

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Why Are The Grown Up Costumes For Women So Slutty?

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7 Awesome Halloween Costumes for Pregnant Chicks

The Return of the Halloween Baby Slut Costumes

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Just in Time for Halloween: How to Make Your Own Slime!

How Strollerderby Rolls: Weapons in the War Against Kid Filth