Should You Intervene When Strangers Hit Their Kids?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

The other day while walking in the park, I passed by a disturbing scene. An enraged mother was marching after her daughter, shouting, “You are going to get hit! You are going to get hit!” Her daughter looked about three years-old, and she was bawling. After trying in vain to run away from her mother, the little girl covered her head with her hands as her mother caught up to her and made good on her threat.

The mother’s anger was so violent that, as I walked away from this sad scene, even I felt a little frightened. I could only imagine how the woman's rage had affected her young daughter. As I walked home, I felt completely helpless. I wondered if I had done the right thing to simply walk away. How else, I asked myself, could I have responded? I felt pretty certain that alerting one of the park's police officers wouldn’t have helped; most likely the only outcome would have been to make both the mother and her daughter feel even more freaked out. And telling the mother not to hit her child would have only increased her rage—who was I to tell her how to raise her children?

I thought of a story my mom had told me recently about a friend of hers. While walking in a supermarket, a man had seen a mother forcefully hit her small child, who kept reaching out for food items from her seat in the grocery cart. The man gently approached the mother, and made a sympathetic comment to the effect of, “I know how hard it can be with young children. It feels like they just won’t listen.” As the man spoke about his own difficulties with parenting, the mother started crying. “I know I shouldn’t hit her,” she said, “and I try not to. But it's so hard.” They spoke for a long time about other ways to discipline children. The mother was at her wit’s end, and really needed someone to simply ask if she was okay.

I hope the next time I encounter a child being mistreated, I am brave enough to try out this method of honest engagement. Has anyone ever tried confronting an enraged parent in this, or any other, way?

Photo: Spiritual Reseach Foundation

Strollerderby : intervention

Should You Intervene When Strangers Hit Their Kids?