Strollerderby : jessica simpson

Morning News: Obama Weighs in on Jessica Simpson's New Size

Madeline Holler — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Why is President Barack Obama talking about Jessica Simpsons controversial weight gain? Well, because Matt Lauer conducted another one of his insipid interviews on "Today" yesterday.

So what did the President say about the singer known for playing Daisy Duke, when Lauer shoved a copy of US Magazine in the face of the man trying to, oh, we don't know, fix the economy, restore a little dignity to the Constitution, and lead the country in a new direction as promised? Did Obama really imply that Simpson is fat?

No, no, of course he didn't.

At first, NBC published a transcript of the interview, which had Obama saying Simpson was "losing a weight battle." Shamey, shamey. Then a bunch of freaked out bloggers rewatched the video and Matt Lauer has come out to explain what really happened. Turns out, Obama (reading the headline in front of him) said that Simpson is "in a weight battle."

Moving on ...probably wishing he had new sexy curves to hide behind, Tom Daschle's got bigger tax problems than new Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. Daschle only recently paid the taxes he owed on a free car. He also deducted too much for charitable giving. We're trying to keep hope alive and all, but this feels a little icky.

Promises, promises. Michael Phelps pinky swears that he'll never ever smoke pot again. The 23-year-old swimming sensation was embarrassed by a photo of him ripping hits off of a bong. A few years ago, he was sentenced to probation for drunk-driving -- which he also promised to never do again. Okay, drunk-driving, caught smoking pot ... meth comes next, right? Or is it sex in a public bathroom -- we can never keep the celebrity self-destruction sequence straight.

This soldier may never go sky-diving again. During a tandem private lesson, the guy's instructor died in mid-air. He managed to land without getting injured. Unfortunately, the instructor, who had a heart attack, could not be revived.

The nut doesn't fall far from the Dick Cheney. Slate has uncovered and analyzed Elizabeth Cheney's senior thesis from college. She, too, thinks the Constitution is quaint.

One study has found that a third of all American kids take vitamins and most don't even need them. We have ignored tons of advice to give babies iron drops and, more recently, Vitamin D. And we're feeling vindicated. What about you?

Bringing this post around full circle and leaving off with whales. Specifically, older whale moms. Turns out, they make better mothers. (Sure, but they're also super competitive and all they want to talk about is preschool applications for their "brilliant" and "creative" and "advanced deep-sea swimming" little calves. Younger whale moms aren't as uptight.)

Photo: US Magazine

Best of FameCrawler: Week of May 16th

Whit Honea — Fri, 16 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Angelina Jolie is a Big, Fat Liar!!

You Can Spot A Pregnant Britney By The Size Of Her Handbag

Five Hottest Pregnant Celebrities

Beyoncé Is Pregnant and Packing On The Pounds

Claudia Schiffer Topless!

Angelina's Pregnant Bikini Bod - Can We Hate Her?

Survivor Finale: Baby Scandal!

Let's Talk About Ashlee Simpson's Boobs!

Ashlee's Dad Selling Baby Pictures While Ashlee Denies Pregnancy

Brett Singer — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Joe Simpson, father of Ashlee and Jessica, has often showed himself to be, shall we say, a bit off (that's him in the photo, looking at his daughter). But never let it be said that the man isn't willing to do anything to make a buck.

The latest news is that Joe is trying to sell pictures of Ashlee's baby for (say this in a Dr. Evil voice) One Millllion Dollars. Apparently Joe would take the pictures himself (which he would get paid extra for) and Ashlee would appear on the cover of whatever glossy is willing to pony up enough cash.

There are three problems here:

One, no one is buying. One editor says that the pics would be worth, "$60,000 maybe." Do you ever wonder where they get these dollar amounts? The anonymously quoted editor went on to call the timing of the proposed sale "suspicious," since Ashlee has a new album out next week (which, sadly, is not called "Acid Reflux"). The editor also said, "Ashlee's lucky she got pregnant, frankly." Nice.

Two, Ashlee hasn't confirmed that she is pregnant, and her fiancé, Pete Wentz, actively denies the rumor, saying, "This is all news to me." Since rock stars aren't necessarily known for their strong connection to reality, it's possible that Ashlee is indeed pregnant and that Wentz doesn't know. But I kinda doubt it.

Three, IT'S JUST CREEPY.

Joe, here's some free advice: the girls make enough money. You make enough money off of the girls. Don't try to sell photos of your daughter's baby before she officially announces that she's pregnant. Just relax and enjoy life. Oh, and maybe get Ashlee some singing lessons.

Image: Google Image Search

Fame is Good. Women Carry Heavy Loads.

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:24:00 GMT

Celebrities are just like us ...

They talk about adopting orphans

They attend parties while 800 month pregnant

They face breasfeeding backlash should they choose to bottle-feed

Famecrawler isn't just a blog. It's an attitude.

Note to Stage Parents: When Your Star Child Is Effed Up, Just Forcefully Push the Other Kid Out in the Spotlight

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 22:36:00 GMT

Although I have no intention of signing my kid up for some out-freaking-rageously priced headshots and an agent in an attempt to potty train him on the set of commercial for some high fructose food, I do take quite an interest in the parents of celebrities passed out...I mean, smiling...for the cameras.

I am very interested that the parents of stars like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Nick Carter always have their roots done and rarely are photographed carrying a big ass bag full of contracts, tabloids and their kid's crap. I don't know exactly what's involved in being your super-famous child's manager or whatever those stage parents do, but I do spy a trend in how they handle it when their gazillion-dollar earning offspring (see above list) hit a rut, a bad patch, maybe even a tree with their car: They start pimpin' the next child in line.

And really, it's brilliant. Parents dreaming of raising up the Next Big Thing to hit TeenPeople, consider having more children and take note of how PR (as in Parental Relations) is handled for the for the stars: Britney's a bald, bad mama? Ohhhh, looky! Isn't Jamie Lynn purty in her party romper?

Forget the bad-mouthed, abusive big brother! His little bro's a big tatooed softy!

Lindsay's on the sauce again? Hey, check it out -- the celebrity gene runs in the family and I spawned them all!

The first-born's a bawling, clausterphobic, unmake-upped incarcerated mess? But look at her supportive and silky-skinned sister!

Never mind the divorced one with the God-awful acting "career", check out her little sis instead! She's perky and unscathed by sex, alcohol and Paris Hilton!