Strollerderby : jim henson

Review: Unstable Fables Goldilocks and the Three Bears Show

JeanneSager — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 20:36:00 GMT

The girl who's always looking for "just right" and the family of bears that shows there's always three sides to every story gets a full-length feature in the latest installment of fairy tales with a twist.

Fresh to DVD, the Unstable Fables version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears puts the golden girl on the tube as a reality show host and fleshes out the story of the bears who usually come in at the tail end of the fairy tale.

Lisa Henson (you know, daughter of Muppet creator Jim) told Babble editor Gwynne back in October that the Unstable Fables would give some of the shortest stories of our childhoods new life, using them as jumping off points for entirely new family-oriented adventures.

That's exactly what they've done with Goldilocks, reimagining the little girl lost story as The Goldilocks and the Three Bears Show. Underneath the CGI animation, satirical fun poked at reality show programming and - of course - the kiddie jokes, the fable still has its morals. The bears start looking for "just right" only to find they had it all along, with a tight-knit family that the lonely TV host Goldilocks (voiced by a pre-pregancy Jamie Lynn Spears) would trade her eyeteeth and screen fame for.

Spears as the whining Goldilocks can be grating, but then again, she's supposed to be a starlet who always wants the best and the brightest (remember, papa bear's porridge was too hot, mama bear's too cold and baby bear's just right . . . ). Tom Arnold as papa Mac Bear is the typical slightly loser-ish, lumpish dolt with a big heart, while mom Brooke Shields is the consummate earth mother as Ruby Bear, the mom who takes the Paris Hilton-esque Goldilocks (complete with dog companion) under her paw and slips her some honey.

It's not exactly a fractured fairy tale - with the hilarity and ribald (read adult) take that genre has come to convey - but Goldliocks and the Three Bears Show is, after all, a kid's movie. Come at it expecting anything else, and you may be disappointed, but it's got the kid concept just right.

Image: Amazon

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Want to Be a Muppeteer? Here's Your Chance

JeanneSager — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:06:00 GMT

Puppets have nothing on Muppets. OK, so Muppets are puppets. But where you can stick your hand up any old puppet butt, getting your hands on a Muppet means you've got the Jim Henson seal of approval. And now they're ready to come home with you!

The late Muppets creator reportedly created the word out of a combination of marionette and puppet, but they're marked by wide mouths and great big googly eyes. Brightly colored and often covered in fur, Muppets have popped up in Fraggle Rock, Sesame Street and the various Muppet tv shows and movies (naturally). Now Muppet bodies are waiting for eyes, hair and clothes so they can land in your kids' bed. Toy store extraordinaire FAO Schwarz has opened the Muppet WhatNot Workshop online, with an in-store debut slated for next week.

Choose from an orange, blue or green body (each with its own distinct head shape), 12 different noses in three varying shapes, your favorite set of eyeballs, pick of hair and then dud them up. It's like Build-a-Bear for us eighties kids, with a price tag of around $90.

So who will your Muppet belong to, you or the kids?

Image: MuppetNewsFlash

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Upcoming Sesame Street Guests

Brett Singer — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:00:00 GMT

If you can't stand to watch one more episode of 'Sesame Street' that you've already seen 250 times, help is on the way!

PBS might be killing off Fred Rogers, but at least the new season of 'Street' started yesterday, with special guests Jack Black and Feist. The Feist video has already racked up 750,000 views on YouTube since being posted about a month ago. Here are some of the other celebrities who will do time with Elmo and the rest:

* Neil Patrick Harris (8.12): I'm guessing more 'Doogie Howser' than 'Harold and Kumar', but who knows.
UPDATE: Here's a video preview of Neil as - hang on - the Fairy Shoe Person. No. Really.

* Heidi Klum (8.14): According to New York Magazine, Klum's exchange with Elmo is "Sexually charged," with the E man telling Seal's wife, "Ms. Heidi is very pretty." As far as we know, Seal did not whup his little monster butt.

* Jenny McCarthy (8.15): I have a question, and don't take this the wrong way. But if Jenny hadn't become an ambassador for autism, would she be appearing on 'Sesame Street'? I'm not saying that this is part of some master plan, just wondering. I also wonder if this is the first time a former Playboy centerfold has visited the Street. (Vanessa Williams doesn't count since she didn't plan on being in Playboy. Jenny was Playmate of the Year.)

* Will Arnett (8.18): 'Arrested Development' fans rejoice! According to Mike, 'AD' even had a character named Franklin in honor of the dearly departed Roosevelt Franklin, making this an above average booking.

* Jason Taylor (8.20): After 'Dancing with the Stars', this guy is really going places.

* David Beckham (8.22): This guy, who is he again? Maybe this will be what he needs to really break through to the big time.

* LL Cool J (9.22): I hope this is old-school 'I can't live without my RADIO!' LL. I would also accept 'Elmo said knock you out!'

* Chandra Wilson (9.30): I had to look her up, but that's probably because I don't watch 'Grey's Anatomy'. Since much of the rest of the country does, I'm guessing she was a good choice.

Other future guests include new mama Jessica Alba (OH YEAH!), Molly Shannon (amusing), Patrick Warburton ('The Tick' is the greatest fake-superhero-live-action-sitcom in the history of the small screen), Feijoo Sisters (Cuban ballet dancers I'd never heard of), Jonah Hill (wearing a moustache – this seems like an odd choice but I guess he's a big deal now; I would've preferred Seth Rogen), Brian Williams (who's actually fairly amusing), Gilbert Gottfried (who's f**king hilarious but will likely not be his usually filthy self), Megan Mullally (should be fun), Randy Jackson (Gee, you think he'll say "dawg?" - yawn) and Sandra Oh (who I like, despite the fact that everyone seems to think she's ugly). New sketches too, such as "30 Rocks," "Pre-School Musical" and "Are You Smarter Than an Egg Layer."

Here's a little video to whet your appetite.

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The 5 Scariest “Kid” Movies of All Time

Cole Gamble — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Labyrinth (1986)

When you think about it, the idea of a Muppet is inherently frightening. Felt and glass eyes lurching about in a folly of life. Ironically, the Muppets aren’t the least human thing in this movie. That honor would go to honorary space alien David Bowie. Androgynous, sparkle eyeliner wearing, spandex and mulleted, coked up, full-on Ziggy Stardust-mode David Bowie. Listen, I love this movie, but watching David Bowie sashay around in an “enhanced” codpiece for hours on end has informed (or malformed) my concept of gender types far more than I’d like to admit. Luckily, a young Jennifer Connolly is on hand to straighten things out. Did I mention I love this movie?

The Polar Express (2004)

Robert Zemeckis clearly thinks zombies are cute. Realistically animated flesh with cold, dead, dead eyes is his idea of family entertainment. And by realistic flesh, I mean realistic for a burn victim. This thing is horrifying from top to bottom; just a colossal misjudgment by Zemeckis of what human beings find enjoyable. And it’s funny because anyone who saw the preview knew it immediately. But this thing sold a ticket or two, so someone had to have walked into this picture sight unseen. Oh what must they have been thinking? “A holiday film by the director and star of Forrest Gump? Tom Hanks playing Santa Claus as well as 37 other roles? What a delightfu—OH GOD! WHAT IS HAPPENING UP ON SCREEN! I CLOSE MY EYES AND I CAN STILL SEE IT!”

Cars (2006)

Let’s see: a world devoid of humans where the machines come to life? This is nothing more than the animated version of a James Cameron post-apocalyptic fever dream. When exactly did SkyNet take over? There is no bleaker film on this list.

The Dark Crystal (1982)

Muppets make it to the list again. That Jim Henson, God bless his soul, was one dark dude. Riding high on the success of The Muppet Show, Jim took his Hollywood leverage and made this doozy for the kiddies. Miss Piggy and Gonzo loving kids and parents must have thought this J.R.R. Tolkien-like epic would be an adorable Kermit-dressed-as-a-Hobbit romp.

What they got were the Skesis, lizard bird creatures that ate other Muppets and shrieked in such a way, I still can’t get it out of my head. Then there’s the Crypt Keeper-looking Muppet who takes her eyeballs out and throws them at people. Oh and those gigantic beetle things with their skin-crawling chattering—always with the chattering.

And then there’s this:

And that’s supposed to be cute.

This movie proves one thing; Jim Henson had a very love-hate relationship with children. One moment he wants to sooth them with the clickity-clack of a tap dancing frog, the next he wants them laying in a cold sweat for yet another fear-wracked, sleepless night.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

No, I don’t mean the recent 2005 version, although that is plenty scary. Johnny Depp’s unflinching commitment to portraying Michael Jackson should alone be enough to grant a house call from CPS to any parent who dragged their kid to that one. No, I’m talking about the original (though inaccurately titled) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Look past the singing dwarves with jaundice and the constant child maulings; the fear factor in this one boils down to one scene. And you all know which scene I’m talking about. Say it with me:

There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing / So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing? / Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing / 'Cause the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing / Any signs that they are slowing!

The tunnel scene of this movie is the single most frightening sequence in all of seventies cinema. And we’re talking about a decade that brought us The Exorcist and Alien. Gene Wilder is simply brilliant in this subversive kiddie classic. One look at him and there is no way your believing this movie really is for children. Let me ask you, if Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka rang your doorbell, would you let him in? Didn’t think so. He’s the pusherman, baby. A totally Technicolor, sociopathic pimp. In one master stroke this film says, “hey kids, this is what dropping acid is like. The first time’s free. Enjoy the seventies!”

Muppets Retiring to Atlanta

MetroDad — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 20:34:00 GMT

Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy are moving to Atlanta!

In a surprise announcement, the family of Jim Henson said Wednesday that it is donating "The Muppet Show" creator's massive collection — everything from original puppets to sketches — to the city's Center for Puppetry Arts. The Kermit the Frog puppet is already on display at the center, and a series of smaller exhibits from the larger collection will rotate through the center until the new space opens. In September, the center will get Rowlf, Swedish Chef and Dr. Teeth puppets as part of an exhibit focusing on the characters that Henson operated himself. The exhibit will also include characters from cult films The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, and TV show Fraggle Rock

FYI...for all you Mupppets fans, a traveling exhibition with 13 puppets, “Jim Henson’s Fantastic World,” will start in Little Rock, Ark., on Sept. 7 and travel to several other cities over three years.)

The Muppets Still Rock

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:02:00 GMT

Were you one of those kids who got excited to see The Muppet Show every week, who laughed out loud at Pigs In Space, cheered for Fozzie and stared blankly at the Swedish Chef? I was. I dutifully carried my Miss Piggy (with wind-blown hair on a Harley) lunchbox and played The Rainbow Connection with my (shhhh) children's guitar troupe. I rallied the kids on the block to go see The Muppets Take Manhattan. At the time, I wouldn't have said I was a Muppet freak. I would've just said I was like every other kid I knew.

Cheryl Eddy reminded me of the Muppet-wonder I had during my childhood, and of the brilliance and absurdity that made the show and characters and movies great television for children and adults. The parodies and offbeat humor Jim Henson brilliantly injected into his puppetry projects, especially the Muppets endeavors, she says are worth revisiting.

I am sure there are lots of lessons that I can't remember learning but that I took with me from those years of tuning into The Muppet Show. I do know that it was broad-based humor, from slapstick to punny to the stuff only my parents chuckled at, and that it showed me, even in fuzzy felt and googly eyes, that it was perfectly fine for a frog and a pig to fall in love. That beats bodily function humor and animated rat chefs to me today and I bet it would have back then, too.