Strollerderby : k-fed

Morning News: K-Fed Trades Kids for Cash

Madeline Holler — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 14:00:00 GMT

For a while, Kevin Federline looked like the better half of the disastrous parental team involving ex-wife Britney Spears. But as Spears carefully makes her comeback -- makeovers, new leases on life, new records, the works! -- Federline's "heroic single dad" stint appears to be drawing to a close.

Instead of amicably agreeing to allow her to take the boys on tour with her ...

... he has amicably agreed to allow her to take the boys on tour IF she's willing to pay him. Money. Like $10,000 per show date. Interesting, Kevin, we thought child support payments went the other way around.

Let's tackle one more topsy-turvy legal matter: the artist who created perhaps what will be the iconic image of this era is taking to court the guy that wanted to take him to court in a copyright infringment case. Shepard Fairey, whose "Hope" poster used an image of Barack Obama from an Associated Press photo, went to court asking a judge to not let photographer Mannie Garcia sue him for use of the image. Fairey and the AP had been close to a monetary settlement before Garcia decided to sue Fairey. We're just glad we never spilled coffee on our "Hope" T-shirt. It'll be worth a fortune someday (right?).

Good news, Catholics! Plenary indulgences are back! If you don't know what that means, you're probably under 50 and you're not alone. Just think of it like this: real estate in hell just got a whole lot cheaper.

But there still room for this guy.

Clearly on the fast-track to heaven is 26-year-old Canadian Tanya Neumeyer, who is standing on street corners in Toronto this month hugging the stuffing out of anyone who needs her.

If you think the Dalai Lama is following you on Twitter, well, you're wrong. It was an imposter. Sorry 'bout that. His tweets felt almost as good as a hug though, didn't it?

Big surprise. StarCaps don't work, aren't good for you and contain suspicious ingredients, including strong drugs. Somebody should tell Kathie Lee Gifford.

Here we go: while research shows that even one binge-drinking episode during pregnancy can cause alcohol-related defects in the baby, taking zinc during pregnancy might negate all that.

Finally, politics is getting interesting again. Fans of porn star Stormy Daniels are pushing her to run for Senate in Louisiana in 2010, the seat now held by porn consumer Republican David Vitter. Sure, why not.

Photo: ABCNewsgo.com

Britney Spears Will Cancel Tour If Kids Can't Come

Brett Singer — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Famecrawler and TMZ are reporting that Britney Spears says that she won't tour if her kids can't join her.

When I first saw this I thought, "Oh good. Another loony celeb mom who wants to drag her young'uns around the globe. What's wrong with these people?"

Upon further reading, it seems that Brit wants to set things up so that Sean Preston and Jayden James would stay put at three different "bases" in New Jersey, New Orleans, and Los Angeles. Mama Britney would "commute" from her shows to the home bases, thereby enabling her to tour and see the boys.

Why is this even a story? Because Britney, her family Jamie Spears (not to be confused with Jamie LYNN Spears, Britney's sister) and Kevin Federline (K-Fed) worked out this deal on their own. Without the lawyers. And that, my friends, is a veddy bad idea.

According to TMZ, K-Fed's lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan says that the situation, "could have been handled better if Jamie and company would have 'manned up' and had Kevin got the benefit of his lawyers to protect his position." K-Fed's attorney will present his own version of the deal, thereby justifying his existence and removing a roadblock to the deal going through – his ego.

Regarding that last paragraph: I'm not sure that I'm correct about that analysis, but I think I am.

Here's what I have a problem with here. As a parent, I would think that Britney and K-Fed would want to keep the details of their custody battle private. If Britney's dad can work out a deal with them, why is K-Fed's lawyer jumping in and mucking up the works, and possibly leaking the information to the press? Again: I need to say that I don't know if Mr. Kaplan, K-Fed's attorney, leaked anything. But he did provide a quote to TMZ about Jamie Spears "manning up". What kind of language is that? Why not keep things as cordial as possible? I understand him wanting to look for K-Fed's interests. But why insult the kids' grandfather, who is also in charge of Britney's interests at the moment?

As for Britney touring or not, I think that she's entitled to go out on the road since that's her job. If it were Federline who had a successful career (or any career at all, frankly), I seriously doubt that anyone would be concerned with what happens to the kids, despite that fact that he has custody. I don't think it's a great idea for kids to be schlepped all over the globe while mom prances around in stadiums wearing Spandex. But if they can work out a way to do it so that the kids aren't overly inconvenienced, what's wrong with that? Anglina Jolie and Brad Pitt bring those kids all over the place and nobody seems to mind.

I have to admit that reading this story, my eyes started to roll back in my head. Even keeping straight which Jamie Spears they're talking about – the father or the sister – starts to get difficult after awhile. Maybe I need to read more gossip magazines.

Source: Famecrawler, TMZ

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Is it fair to take pictures of Britney's kids?

Brett Singer — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:53:00 GMT

You may have heard about the photographs of Britney Spears smoking while 2-year-old Sean Preston was playing with her cigarette lighter. Well, the actual photo doesn't quite show that. Here it is:

Now, far be it from me to disagree with the celebrity media machine, but this doesn't look as bad as it sounds. In this pic she looks to be taking the cigarettes away from her child. That would be the right thing to do. The better thing to do would be to not smoke at all, and especially not in front of your kids. Second-hand smoke is very dangerous, especially to little lungs. It also makes me wonder if she was smoking while pregnant, which would be much worse. My guess – and I have nothing to back this up – is that she probably was. As a former smoker, I know how hard it is to quit, and it looks to me like the Britster is quite the nicotine addict.

Here's the part that gets me: the photos were taken at her house. Why? Presumably a photog with a mega-ultra-zoom lens – a "Pavarotti", as El Federline famously referred to them on his ill-fated rap album – was suspended from a helicopter or something and took the shot through her window or on her balcony.

She's a celebrity, and over 18 (although emotionally she might be, like, 12, but let's not go there). But her kids aren't. Not to sound like a celebrity defending dipstick ("LEAVE...BRITNEY...ALONE!"), but maybe there should be a law that prevents the kids from being photographed, at least when they're at home. As someone points out over at MomLogic, they didn't ask to be in this bizarre situation.

There are celebrities whose children you almost never see candid pictures of – Madonna, Howard Stern, Christie Brinkley, and I'm sure there are dozens more that I can't think of at the moment. Of course, those people aren't the unbelievable mess that Brit appears to be. At best, this photo shows poor judgment on her part, not only the smoking but also hanging out with her kid in front of an open window where a sleazoid photographer can get a clear shot. Um, curtains? A really high hedge? Move someplace else?

Of course, if nobody wanted to see the pictures, they wouldn't be worth anything, and photographers wouldn't take them. But that's a different topic.

Here are the rest of the photos. Hey, at least she looks pretty good in her bikini.

images: popsugar.com

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K-Fed Is Dad of the Year. Seriously.

Kelly Mills — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:04:00 GMT

I swear this one must really be a sign of the apocalypse: Kevin Federline is getting an award for "father of the year". No, I'm not making this up, and this time it isn't Details just whoring for publicity. Um, you might wanna dig yourself a bomb shelter and find some religion, because I have seen the sign, and it is called celebration of the K-Fed. But I guess he's being lauded for stepping up with his children when Britney went rogue on us and wasn't fit to parent.

Oh, but wait a minute: It's a Las Vegas club, Prive, that is giving out the award, and K-Fed is hosting a party there on Father's Day. It is just cheap publicity whoring. Phew! You can put away the sackcloth. But perhaps I could take this li'l opportunity to point out that once again, a dad gets props for doing what many other women--even ones who were married to celebrities--have already done, i.e. becoming sole parent when the other parent wasn't doing so hot. So he did his job. Um, what was he going to do--abandon the kids? K-Fed has cash to burn and nannies galore and I don't feel all that proud of his sad ass. I bet there's plenty of more deserving single dads and moms out there. I mean, big whoop.

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Britney Spears loses custody of kids

Should We Feel Sorry for Brit Now That Custody's Been Nixed?

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 23:01:00 GMT

By now you know that a California court put an end to Britney Spears' parenting rights effective this Wednesday at noon, turning full custody of Sean Preston and Jayden to baby daddy Kevin Federline. Although it is unclear if an incident precipitated the order, it was the same judge who ordered the sequined pop un-sensation to undergo random drug testing, parenting coaching and to abstain from alcohol or drug use 12 hours before any visits with the children. As if that didn't cause its own ripple of "daaaaayuuummms" around the interwebs, the Superior Court judge underlined his disdain for Brit's behavior by striking down her request for a 50-50 custody agreement and one-upping K-Fed's counter request for a 70-30 arrangement. Too bad the court transcripts are closed, because I bet they are full of all kinds of juicy goodness, y'all.

As we consider all this Access Hollywood wonderment, perhaps the bigger question is this:

Do we feel sorry for Britney? Clearly, losing custody of your children is tough. I cannot imagine the pain that must cause (that is, if you are de-tequilaed or un-little yellow pilled enough to feel pain, but anyway...) both mama and babes. But just as clear is the need for those poor toted around, secondhand smoke exposed, Quarter Pounder and Kool-Aid eating kids to have a safe, loving, happy and stable environment to grow up in to make scale wages as stars of some VH1 show about effed up celebrity children (or as veterinarians or piano teachers or bloggers or whatever). The thing that kills me is that the safe, loving, happy and stable environment is with a dude who wears fedoras and leaves pregnant women to "go on tour" with a new hottie (nope, still not over that).

Ohhhh, to be able to hand out orders for parenting coaching at the playground. Until we can, tell us how much sympathy you've mustered up for lonely old Britney as she packs up the kids stuff to ship to Kev's crib.

Britney Spears Leaves Rehab

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 22:01:00 GMT

Britney Spears has checked out of the Promises rehab facility in Malibu, Calif., completing a 30-day stint that is shorter than most people stay in the facility. (Most stay 45 days.) She has been attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and people close to her say she is doing "fine."

Kevin Federline will continue caring for their two sons Sean and Jayden until, according to K-Fed's lawyer, Britney shows she can live her life "consistent with the best interest of her children." Fair enough.

Britney checked into rehab (for the third time) on February 21 after a bizarre period where she exchanged clothing with strippers, shaved her head bald, got several tattoos, and beat up a car with an umbrella.

[photo credit: Bauer-Griffin]

Britney Checks Into...Then Out of Rehab (Part II)

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:23:00 GMT

"Oops! She did it again!" Yes, it's true. Britney Spears is out of rehab (again) after a one-day-stint at her Malibu "rehab facility." Didn't I just say that I'd take her more seriously if she left Malibu to do her rehab? Can I call it or what?

Perez Hilton reports that Brit-Brit been spotted around town (in a cheap platinum wig and fedora). Today she was photographed leaving the offices of her lawyer in West Hollywood. I guess her "Comeback Year" isn't quite going as planned. I never thought I'd say that I hoped K-Fed gets the kids, but at this point? I hope K-Fed gets the kids. Where are they, anyway?

Did Britney Spears Shave Head to Avoid Child Custody Drug Test?

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 14:02:00 GMT

According to Melinda Casino's round-up on BlogHer, the feminist blogs are railing against big media for criticizing Britney's shaved head essentially saying that it's okay for men to be bald, but for women it's a problem. It's not a breakdown, it's Britney "rebelling against society" and showing what a "free spirit" she really is. Go on, Britney! Shave that blond hair! Men especially hate it when women cut their long, flowing, blonde tresses. It's such a waste of femininity! You show them that you're a strong woman who doesn't give a flying fig what others think. It's not a "breakdown" or a "cry for help" it's being "ironic" and "insouciant."

Oh, if only that were the case. I could believe it if we hadn't all been watching Britney spiral out of control for a year now. We all know Brit-Brit's got some bats in her belfry, and according to this post on Perez Hilton, Britney may have had a good reason for shaving her crispy extensions: K-Fed wanted to drug-test her hair.

According to OK!, FedEx and Brit got into a huge fight on Friday, the day she so memorably shaved off all her hair."They had a huge argument," says the mag. "Kevin threatened Britney that he was going to have people test her hair to find out exactly what she's been up to. She was so scared. That was what made her have her head shaved."

Her response: Drug-test this, mofos!

Thankfully Brit's in a place where she can hopefully focus on healing herself and her family. Although, if she had gotten out of Malibu to do her rehab to a place where paparazzi can't photograph her every move, I might think her efforts a little more sincere. Britney, there's plenty of time for being "ironic" when you've got your life back together. Get to it, girl.