Strollerderby : kindergarten

Class Rings for Your Pre-Schooler?

JeanneSager — Wed, 20 May 2009 20:37:00 GMT

Who knew? All this time I was saving up my money to pay my daughter's pre-school tuition, and I should have been setting some aside for a class ring.

Because every toddler needs a shiny piece of metal they will either lose or grow out of within the next six months, right? I said right?

Thanks go to Jackie Burrell over at About.com's parenting blog for pointing this one in my direction, because I'm definitely an unfit parent here (apparently). I have not ponied up the $19.95 for a "day care" ring "Handcrafted from the finest .925 pure silver." And somehow I get the feeling we won't be plunking down the cash for the kindergarten version either (although that .925 pure silver is sounding awfully tempting).

Seriously, I am ready to shed buckets of tears at my daughter's pre-school graduation. I even expect to put down the money for a teeny gown an mortarboard as parents around here have done for generations (I recently found the picture of my daughter's nursery school teacher at HER graduation in said gown and board in back issues of the community paper where I'm on staff).

But I draw the line at class rings. Especially considering I haven't seen my high school ring since . . . um, pretty much since high school. Probably tenth grade? About two weeks after I got it and abandoned it on my dresser?

And don't get me started on those keychain tassels. How many latchkey pre-schoolers do you know? They're at least twelve years away from a rear view window to drape it over folks (sixteen years from the day they arrive on a college campus and yank it OFF the rear view before any of their new uber cool roommates catch sight of it).

What do you think Babble readers? Silly or sounds like a must-have?

Image: Oak Hall Cap and Gown

Bag of Feces Sent Home in Kid's Backpack

JeanneSager — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:05:00 GMT

As Madeline pointed out yesterday, the word "panties," is shudder-tastic. I've found three worse words - at least used in succession, and when referring to the contents of a little kid's backpack.

Bag of feces.

Yup, a kindergartner came home from school this week with a big ol' bag of dung in his backpack.

Inside, his dad says, was a note from the teacher that read "This little turd was on the floor in my room."

What??? This child is five and apparently had an accident in the classroom. I repeat, this child is five. Accidents happen (come on parents, sing the Elmo's Potty Time song). For a teacher to make an issue of it to begin with shows she does not belong in a kindergarten classroom (or, perhaps, any classroom). Kids need to realize there's no shame in accidents and taught that they can always ask the teacher to use the bathroom. If this was a habit, the teacher might even be wise to talk to the school psychologist about the incidents, as elementary age kids whose potty training regresses are often displaying signs of stress, illness or even abuse.

Bagging it up and sending it home is particularly heinous because, let's face it, this is POOP we're talking about. Human waste. Excrement. Should I continue? The school says they're "looking into it," but I'd say they need to look at flushing this teacher out of their system.

What do you say, Babble readers?

Image: PoopReport

Kindergarten Looms, She's Fine, I'm Noten

Amy Kuras — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:31:00 GMT

Later today, I will bring my four year old to the school we are thinking about putting her in next year for a “kindergarten assessment.” She’s an “on the bubble” kid – born eight hours past the cutoff in our state, tall, verbal, and already in preschool for two years. So methinks it will be time for kindergarten next year. Scary.

In short, I think she’s ready, her dad thinks she’s ready, and her preschool teacher thinks she’s ready. The question is whether or not the teacher who would be teaching her next year thinks she is. But for me, as for most parents, this is kind of bittersweet. Sending my precious sweet bright little girl off to “real school” all day with new kids and a new teacher and possibly even homework is scary – and did I mention I do not do well with change?

I know lots of us are going through this right now, with districts having kindergarten roundups right now. That’s why I found this essay from Siobhan Connally awfully sweet. She talks about how grown up her little girl suddenly seems, how excited to be a big kindergartener, and how going through the school’s checklist of what her child can do reminds her of what a great kid she is.

Of course, the daughter goes through the assessment just fine, while she and her husband develops some doubts about themselves. “I admitted to the smiling woman behind the desk that we have no doubt that you are ready for school and that you will do well. We are not worried about your abilities at all. I tell her we are the ones who are scared. We are the ones who will have trouble fitting in.”

Yes, exactly. I know my girl will be fine. Me? Not so sure about.

They Say: Old School Lice Checks Are All Wrong

Kate Tuttle — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 13:33:00 GMT

If your kid has reached a certain age, you've probably already been through it -- the Kindergarten or preschool lice scare, with its attendant lice checks, in which each child stands, head bowed, while a teacher, fully gloved, checks the young head for telltale bugs or nits, any sign of which mean a trip back home (or to the drug store, or to your local nit picker, if you're lucky enough to have one). Getting rid of lice can take more than one treatment, and if you're the one whose kid is being turned away at the school house door, you not only have to cope with the drudgery of laundry and combing, you also must endure the stares (and glares) of your fellow parents.

Everybody hates lice -- the only thing they hate more is the parents whose child brings lice back to the classroom after they've finally gotten rid of it. But what if the lice check itself is letting lice come back in? It turns out that the familiar method of checking for lice -- parting dry hair and looking through it -- is less effective at seeing live lice than is combing through wet hair. Both methods are equally effective at seeing nits, the small white eggs lice leave behind, but since the live bugs are the most effective vector of transmitting lice from one child to another, a wet-hair check is what schools really need to do to keep their classrooms lice-free. How this could work logistically is beyond me -- would kids have to be brought to school freshly-showered? Would schools need to bring buckets of water outside to perform the check? -- but any new advantage in the age-old war on lice is a good thing in my book.

More by this author:

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Move Over, Booties! Here Come Knitted Boobies

Think Your Baby's Car Seat Is Safe? Think Again

California Daycare Closed; Worker Was Mocking Kids' Genitals

How to Tell if Your Tot's Gonna Gamble

JeanneSager — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:26:00 GMT

Does your tot seem a tad impulsive? Take a cue from Kenny Rodgers - it might be time to let him know when to fold 'em, know when to hold 'em, know when to walk away . . .

OK, if he's impulsive, he probably has down running.

A new study says impulsive kindergartners are more likely to fall prey to gambling addictions when they age. In fact, the study says the problems start at the ripe old age of sixth grade.

Er, OK. And what does a sixth grade gambling addict look like? Is he up to his ears in I.O.U. used Nintendo game markers?

All joking aside, this is a serious study. Published in this month's issue of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, the study follows one hundred sixty-three kids over a six-year time frame. When the kids were in kindergarten, their teachers were asked to rate their "inattentiveness, distractibility and hyperactivity" on a scale of one to nine. If nine is distractible, I'd have to rate any kindergartner I know an eight point six.

Six years later, when the kids were eleven, the researchers were back, asking them how often they played cards or bingo for money, bought lottery tickets, played video games or video poker for money, or bet on sports. The study took place in Canada, which should account for at least some minute differences. I don't see many American children being granted access to lottery tickets - the sole time I purchased a lottery ticket, I know I was carded (I was in my twenties).

As for betting on sports or playing cards for money - does that necessarily mean kids are on a highway to hell? We played poker for money in the back four seats of our bus in high school - almost every day. I had jars full of pennies in my room because I was adept at bluffing. Yet, I live a half hour from a video lottery gaming center, and I haven't gambled once. For that matter, none of the people I played WITH have gambling troubles today.

I understand adult gambling addiction is a real problem and clearly linked to impulse control. But what ever happened to letting kindergartners being kindergartners? Sure, they might throw crayons without thinking now, but twenty years from now, they might just know how to hold 'em.

Image: Triin

How to Evaluate a School

Amy Kuras — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 22:02:00 GMT

It’s that time of year for those of us who are parents of potential kindergarteners in the fall – time to size up your school options and decide what you’re going to choose. Even if you’re super happy with your public school district, many of them now offer schools of choice, where you can attend any school in the district if there’s room, so even the most committed public school parents probably have some research to do around now.

This article in the Boston Globe presented a few good suggestions about evaluating your local district, as well as individual schools. For example, check your state department of education’s web site to find out how the school does on statewide tests.

All the usual sources for finding a school apply –opther parents, local message boards, etc. But look other places too – we found a school we’re strongly considering sending our daughter to by chatting with the owner of our local children’s bookstore.

And of course, there’s no substitute for actually going to the school in person. Talk to your child’s potential teachers, see the facilities, maybe ask around for other parent s who might be willing to talk to you about their experiences.

I’d suggest a few more things – pick up the local paper or visit its website, and by local, I mean the small daily or weekly that send reporters to the school board meetings and covers goings-on in the schools every week. You’ll be able to glean a good bit of information even from seeing which schools get coverage and which don’t –if there’s a lot of event coverage of a few schools in the district, you can bet that the principal and administrators probably have a good relationship with parents and the community as well as the local press.

And most importantly – know your kid and go with your gut. If you have a bad feeling about a school, not matter how sweet the teachers might seem or how high the test scores are, move on – there is probably another teacher, or even another school, that would be a better fit.

Education for All? Not in New Hampshire

JeanneSager — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 13:32:00 GMT

Would you send your kids to kindergarten if it was going to cost you money? It's the only choice provided to parents in Hudson, NH, the last city in the contiguous U.S. not to offer free kindergarten to its children.

The city of twenty-five thousand has been ordered to comply with a 2007 New Hampshire law calling for universal kindergarten by this fall, but district officials are bucking the order. They need more money to make it happen, they say.

I'm honestly surprised there are place left in the U.S. where school wouldn't be offered free of charge to families. It's not just Hudson. There are nine other school districts in the Live Free or Die State that will have to add universal kindergarten this fall (the other districts have already started making provisions to do so). There's also one school district in Alaska that does not provide kindergarten to its kids (gee, think Gov. Sarah Palin might want to take a look at that one now that she has some extra time on her hands?).

. What ever happened to the right to an education (yes, I know, it's not in the Constitution - but it should be)? I was equally surprised several years ago when I first learned that kindergarten wasn't mandatory. Having been enrolled at five, having had my brother follow me at five, having heard about my parents' kindergarten classrooms, I mistakenly thought this was a given. Not so. My husband is one of millions of Americans who didn't attend kindergarten (he's the one who first told me about it).

But keeping your child home for the year, or opting for a private institution rather than public is one thing. Not being offered the service at all? It sounds like another case of someone putting the priorities on money instead of on kids.

Study results have varied on the benefit of full-day kindergarten for kids, the most recent report surmising that the good it does disappears by the time the kids are in eighth grade. But if ninety-nine point nine percent of American kids are given free kindergarten, it stands to reason that the Hudson kids are being discriminated against by not being afforded the same opportunities.

For the same services provided for other kids, Hudson parents are expected to pay as much as $4,000 to $8,000 at a private institution. More than ninety percent of the parents pay up, but not everyone can afford the fees. The economic downturn is only making it harder. Ironically that's just why the city of Hudson says they can't make the change.

Despite offers of state aid, Hudson wants more. Considering the taxpayers are already being burdened (via the demand of private tuition costs), wouldn't it be more appropriate to levy a tax on the citizens that would go across the board and make education available to every kid?

A little reminder to the city of Hudson - parents aren't the only one who benefit from their children getting an education. So how about stepping up for the sake of all citizens - even those under four feet tall?

Image: Mary Mail

Kindergartner Gets Best Birthday Present EVER

JeanneSager — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:34:00 GMT

I pride myself on being a pretty good gift giver - at least when it comes to my kid. But I can't top Casey Hurles.

The Army specialist came home from Iraq, then let his family wrap him in a box and cart him to son Gabriel's elementary school.

While Gabriel chowed down on cupcakes with his classmates, Casey sat quietly in the box, waiting. When he finally tore off the bright balloon-covered wrapping paper, the kindergartner jumped back and yelped - but it didn't take too long to recover.

The Nevada six-year-old hadn't see his dad since June when Spc. Casey Hurles left for his second tour of duty in Iraq. When Hurles realized his leave would fall right in line with his son's sixth birthday, he hatched a plan that's been four months in the making. Returning home, he had to hide out at his parents' house to make sure the surprise wouldn't be ruined.

Watching little Gabriel burrow his face in his Dad's chest, returning again and again for more hugs, might bring on the waterworks (it did for me), so grab the tissues before you watch!

Now isn't that the best birthday present a kid could get?

Image/Source: Nevada Appeal

Crafty: President Obama, Cube Style

JeanneSager — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:34:00 GMT

Tuesday was supposed to be the best part of the week, but I can't help thinking Wednesday was even better.

Every time someone came on the radio and said "President Barack Obama," did such and such, my daughter said, "Mommy, Barack Obama's the president, I saw it on TV!"

The way I see it, we made the little kids sit through watching the inauguration with us, so now they can celebrate the new president nursery school style - it's time for crafts! Leave the macaroni in the closet, because we've got a modern craft for a modern president.

The folks at Cubeecraft have done up 44 so you can download him, print him, and let the kids get to work cutting along the lines (good practice for kindergarten!). The folding part is rated two scissors, which means "there is a shape that needs to be cut with an exacto besides a straight line (such as a beard or other detail.)", so you'll need to lend a hand.

But with no glue required, it's a no muss, no fuss craft - and lets them get in on the excitement!

To download President Barack Obama, visit Cubeecraft here. Stock your printer - with Grover, Grimace, Spongebob and Jigglypuff, there are plenty of kids Cubeecrafts to stock up on for future snowy days when you're stuck indoors.

Image: Cubeecraft

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Kindergartners Vote An Autistic Classmate Out of the Class

JeanneSager — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:01:00 GMT

You know that warning, kids can be mean? So can teachers. A Port St. Lucie, Fla. teacher has been suspended without pay for allegedly bringing a five-year-old boy to stand in front of the class and letting his classmates vote him out of the class. And that's not even the worst part. The child in question? He has Asperger's, a form of autism.

Yes reports say Wendy Portillo actually encouraged her students to pick on a kid with disabilities. Alex Barton had been sent to the principal's office twice that day for discipline problems before Portillo allegedly brought him to the front of the class and asked the students to tell him how his behavior had been affecting them. Then she let them vote. Fourteen said bye bye Alex. Two were on his side.

Let's set aside the fact that this kid was in kindergarten and thus at an already immature state of development (he was five for crying out loud). Let's even set aside his Asperger's diagnosis. What kind of teacher disciplines her students by letting the other kids pick on him? I shrink in horror when a waiter gets his ass handed to him by the maitre d' at a restaurant in front of a dining room full of people, and we're talking about two grown adults. Discipline is the teacher's job and the teacher's job alone. While I don't expect an educator to walk out of the class with a child every time he acts up so they can have a private word, more than simple admonishments (sit down please, raise your hand before you speak, etc.) should be done off to the side of the room. Even with the rest of the kids in the room, it should be a teacher-to-student conversation without the "help" of the other kids.

The socialization process requires kids learn what kind of affect their actions have on other kids; I'll grant you that. His autism certainly plays a role here. But even non-autistic kids have a me-centric focus on the world at five. So how do you teach them? Sit them down and talk about it. Give examples of some of the things other children have done that were hurtful. Make it personal - in a personal setting. Don't turn a child into a punching bag for his classmates.

Portillo has been suspended without pay for one year by the school district. I hope she spends that year pursuing another career path.

Image: NYC Schools

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Babble Talk: Are Boys Held Back From Kindergarten More Often Than Girls?

Jen Chaney — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:22:00 GMT

I read Holly Korbey's essay on "redshirting" kindergarten boys, part of Babble's Back to School issue, with a mix of shock and awe. I knew how hard it was to decide whether to send a child to kindergarten when his birthday falls dangerously close to a school system's cut-off date. But I did not realize that, as least as Holly describes it, boys are often pressured to be redshirted and wait a year so they can mature.

I had even less of a clue about the motivations behind it. Do other moms, as the essay describes, really think their sons will have a better shot at an athletic scholarship if they cool their heels for 12 months before starting school? And do they honestly make the call based on the impact on their boys' future dating abilities?

And here is another question: Do parents redshirt kindergarten-age girls as frequently as boys? The essay implies that they don't because girls mature more quickly and teachers are more comfortable controling them in a classroom setting. That generalization may hold true, but there must be a few young females out there who aren't as academically or emotionally adjusted as their counterparts. I wonder if the same parental peer pressure to "season" kids before they start school exists when we're talking daughters vs. sons.

My guess is no, but I am curious to hear what you all have to say. Did any of you have to make the kindergarten call for your girls or boys? How did you make the decision and did other parents try to influence you one way or the other?

More on Redshirting

Adrienne Martini — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:00:00 GMT

You'd think that redshirting -- the practice of holding your five-year old back for a year before he/she starts kindergarten -- wouldn't be a topic that was full of controversy. You'd be wrong, of course, because it's impossible to talk about anything in the American education system without ticking someone off.

My own post gathered quite a few comments, which surprised me. I hadn't realized that there were that many people who cared about the practice. While I have some IRL friends who've struggled with the decision, I had no idea that it cut such a wide swath.

For those who'd like to read smart, illuminating, data-rich posts about redshirting, look no further than Sara Mead's mini-essays on the most recent studies. It's a redshirting round-up for your reading pleasure.

So is redshirting just a fad for the affluent? A sign that boys are in crisis? Or does it cut deeper?

Illo credit: Robert Neubecker

Book of the Week: Sex & Gender Issue Special

editors — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 14:15:00 GMT

Yoon, the star of Hyun Young Lee's new book Something for School, is a sweet little girl whose first day of kindergarten goes horribly wrong when she's mistaken for a boy. In a panic, Yoon looks for something in her house to distinguish her as a girl, and finally settles on her older sister's flowery headband, which hides her short hair. She has a fantastic day in her new femme gear -- but when Yoon's sister wants her stuff back, will her friends be confused all over again? This South Korean picture book offers a quietly progressive twist on the first-day-of-kindergarten genre (see some other examples here) and will serve as a great reminder that kids should be open to new friends and new experiences come September. -- Gwynne Watkins

Something for School (Kane Miller, Sept 1 2008) is available for $12.44 as a pre-order on Amazon.

Book of the Week appears every other Friday. Sometimes every Friday. We’re fickle like that.

Autistic boy voted out of kindergarten by classmates

Brett Singer — Tue, 27 May 2008 13:30:00 GMT

This is so messed up I don't even know where to start.

The basics: Alex, a 5 year old boy "who is in the process of being diagnosed with autism," specifically Asperger's syndrome, was voted out of his kindergarten classroom by the other students. How did that happen? The teacher thought it would be a good idea to let the other kids tell Alex what they thought of him. "Disgusting" and " annoying" was the verdict. The vote was 14-2 in favor of kicking him out of the class, so he left and spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office.

Now, it's one thing for a teacher to handle a "problem" child badly. Apparently Alex had some behavioral issues, and it sounds like they might have been tough to deal with. But allowing students to verbally berate another student, and then suggesting they vote on whether or not the kid should remain in the classroom? That's about as screwed up as it gets. Regardless of whether or not the child has autism, bad acne or chronic halitosis, teachers can't get involved in something so petty and cruel.

This happened in Port St. Lucie, Florida. (What is it about Florida and voting scandals?) Alex's mom, Melissa Barton, is considering legal action, although "the state attorney's office concluded the matter did not meet the criteria for emotional child abuse, so no criminal charges will be filed." So, like, what would meet the criteria? Throwing baloney at him while they vote him off the island, "Survivor"-style? Oy vey.

Here are some blog entries about this story.

Alex is "Cool"

My Two New Heroes

The case of the very, very bad teacher

One last thing: Alex's mother heard him repeating "I'm not special" over and over again. I can't even comment on that, it's too sad.

Are Parents 'Victims' of Autism?

Florida law mandates insurance payments for autism

Mother of autistic boy is going to Olympics

image: Survivor logo and me playing around in Photoshop

Six Year Old Charged With Sexual Harassment

Brett Singer — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Nope, it's not April Fool's Day again. The kindergarten-aged son of a preacher man in Greenville, South Carolina told his teacher that one of his little friends "liked looking at her behind." This led to a "discipline referral" with a charge of "Sex/Harass."

I'm all for discipline, especially when it comes to kids being obnoxious, which seems to be very prevalent these days. But Sexual Harassment? The little guy is six years old. I mean, don't high five him and call him a stud, but the charge is a bit wacky.

The boy's father, Malory Pinkney, Sr., seems to take the old "this will go down on your permanent record" thing very seriously. He's fighting the charge because he doesn't want his son to be labeled a "pervert" for the remainder of his school career. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this is not a likely scenario. ("Well, you would have been Valedictorian, but there was that... incident... when you were in kindergarten...")

When you look at the rest of the items on the referral, it makes you wonder just what the hell is going on at that school. Other potential disciplinary charges include Prostitution, which seems like it would warrant something more than just sending a note home to the parents.

images: wspa.com, IBNlive

Son, perhaps you should consider a trade

Brett Singer — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:15:00 GMT

Not only is it impossible to get junior into that elite Kindergarten, once you do, the little rat won't be able to get into college. At least that's what the numbers are telling us this week.

According to the Wall Street Journal, Harvard admitted 7.1% of students who applied this year, down from 8.9%. Yale and Princeton showed some drops as well. OK, you say, that's the Ivy League. As Garfield might say, big fat hairy deal. But, in yet another example of why we really shouldn't listen to Garfield (especially regarding college advice), state schools such as the University of Texas are showing a similar trend.

Although The Journal reports that many high school students are "freaking out" about the news, I would like to remind children everywhere that Dr. Phil McGraw attended the University of North Texas, which, according to U.S. News and World Report, is a fourth tier school. And he's done pretty well for himself.

In all seriousness, I think it's possible to get a good education in a number of different venues, but it's undeniable that the Ivy League and other top-tier schools offer connections and resources that are sometimes harder to come by at other institutions. The other aspect of this is the pressure it places on kids, the ones who are "freaking out" because they may not get into the college of their choice. More stress is never a good thing. Hopefully this news won't make crazy parents who started obsessing over college while their children were in utero start to act even crazier.

Look at it this way -- you can use all that money you saved to take a really nice vacation.

image: College Planning Specialists, and webdesign-guru.co.uk

Kindergartener Suspended From School For Sporting a Mohawk

Kelly Mills — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:35:00 GMT

Ah, in a day and age when many schools are instituting programs to combat children teasing other children about their appearance, one school has decided to put the bullies out of a job by doing their work for them. Six-year-old Bryan Ruda was suspended from charter school Parma Community School in Ohio. Um, because he has a "mohawk," which in this case does not mean liberty spikes but that he has the sides of his head shaved and his hair is longer on top. The school has a dress code that does not prohibit mohawks specifically, but says students have to be properly groomed. Whatever that means.

Oh, but the rationale for the suspension is classic: Administrators say the hair was "disrupting the educational program" and that other students commented on it, making them disruptive and more difficult to control. I guess that's powerful hair. And this was a "third offense," meaning that Bryan's mom was warned about the problem hair before when it had product in it, and while it was growing out things were sort of okay. However, a re-shaving threw the class into chaos, I suppose. The school board decided over the weekend to suspend the kid, which makes me think they must have zero educational issues at all, since they have time to debate the merits of a kindergartener's style. Nice.

Photo: Peggy Turbett/The Plain Dealer

Strollerderby Playdate: Redshirting

Amy S.F. Lutz — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 12:02:00 GMT

Redshirting - aka Keeping Your Kid In Preschool An Extra Year So He Will Be The Biggest, Baddest Superstar In Kindergarten History - is a big topic around my house. My sister - who, with her husband and two boys, lives with me and my family - is currently considering whether she should hold back her oldest son, whose birthday is August 31, one day before our district's September 1 cutoff. And apparently, she's not the only one invested in this debate. My friend Lauren sent me a link to a Babycenter discussion board she participates in that includes almost 600 posts about the advantages and disadvantages of redshirting.

So I was really interested in this thoughtful post about redshirting by Alice Bradley on Alpha Mom. If, like my sister, you don't want to hold your kid back but are afraid he will be disadvantaged if you don't, there's some reassuring links to studies that indicate the advantages of redshirting disappear after a couple of years. Other reports suggest that redshirted kids are more likely to end up in special ed, and are more likely to have discipline problems. Which hardly comes as a shock - not only does this group include kids bored to tears by a curriculum geared to kids more than a year younger than they are, but it also counts children held back because of legitimate social and emotional delays.

Bradley closes with the issue at the core of the redshirting debate: if redshirting benefits your child by giving him a cognitive and physical advantage over his classmates, but does so at the obvious expense at other children, is it fair? And should that be a concern of parents - who, let's face it, are genetically programmed to advance their children over the competition at all costs?

I'm just glad I don't have to make this decision.

Confessions of a Hooky Playing Mama

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 21:10:00 GMT

As an education junkie and lover of all things school, my twin daughters' Kindergarten debut was all that we hoped. Their bright eyes and sweet little uniforms and overburdened backpacks signalled the beginning of an auspicious and successful educational career.

Or so we thought.

As day after day of waking up early and driving hither and yon began to sink in, our collective enthusiasm waned somewhat. Add to that early reports that one twin was floundering under the watchful and quite structured framework of the private Episcopal School we'd chosen. She was becoming a sullen preacher lady presiding over each groggy breakfast with pronouncements about hating school, wanting to stay home, and thinking everything was boring, chapel notwithstanding.

Enter the first head cold. I was relieved to have an excuse to keep her home with me. Then a snow day, then an early departure for a weekend. And before I knew it, playing hooky was becoming a part of our routine.

A beloved part.

Today school was delayed for 2 hours due to snow in our town. As I breathed a sigh of relief and we all lay around in our pajamas playing with legos and singing songs, it occurred to me that the joy of playing hooky might not be the best lesson to teach my young girls.

On the other hand, it is one of life's satisfactions. Time will tell whether this is teaching them to be laid back, or to disregard structure and rules.

Sigh.

Competitive Kindergarten Admissions

MetroDad — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 22:17:00 GMT

As anyone who lives in New York City knows, getting one's child into a "good" kindergarten can be a ruthless death sport. Parents often jump through hoops, hire private consultants, and interview at dozens of schools. As for the kids? They have to take IQ tests, be observed in a small group situations, and be interviewed themselves. All for the sake of getting into kindergarten!

This week, a new documentary called "Getting In A...Kindergarten," will air on the cable network TLC. The program puts a new twist on the familiar Manhattan melodrama. At Dalton on the Upper East Side, 700 families vie for 90 spots; at Hunter College Elementary School, 1,300 families try for 48 openings. All the families profiled face difficulties, but rather than mocking kindergarten mania or bemoaning its hyper-competitiveness, "Getting In" raises the possibility that all the trouble is ultimately worthwhile.

Interestingly, no children-- and no parents-- are left bereft. The show demonstrates that, despite all the hyper-competitive madness, those who are rejected from their initial first choice often decide ultimately that they didn't want to be there after all. A former head of the West Side Montessori School who is featured in the film, Marlene Barron, said that ""only a few people in the end aren't where they want to be. It usually all works out."

Despite the insanity of paying as much as $30,000 per year to send your child to kindergarten, it's a fascinating documentary that I think many parents will find educational. In several of the cases, parents talk about how going through the admissions process helped them to better understand their children and enabled them to find schools that suited their interests and abilities.

When Your Child is Left Behind

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 20:35:00 GMT

What is it about a child who is left out? Their palpable loneliness and disappointment when other kids exclude them from play for reasons of age, disability, or difference, is so painful to watch. As a parent, one of the challenges is of course to decide when to intervene and solve and when to hang back and let your child sort it out for him or herself. And of course there comes the day when you can't be there -- when your child faces school bullies, or cliques, or worse, all alone.

Then there is the small matter of families with some children starting school and some who aren't. Despite government initiatives to the contrary, younger siblings are absolutely and thoroughly left behind as their older pals leave on new and exciting Kindergarten ventures. And even though it doesn't hold a candle to the exclusion some kids experience throughout their lives, there is something universally sad about the one who plaintively cries "but *I* want to go to school too, Mama!"

Sometimes I think parenting is learning to tolerate a loved ones heartache (or frustration or irrational tantrum) and helping them find the tools and the strength to comfort themselves. Other times, I think parenting teaches us to protect innocence, wonder, and trust long after we may have lost our own. Today, as my twin daughters walked into Kindergarten and their younger sister realized that for the very first time she could not go along, her heartbreak as she yelled out "but it's MY Kindergarten" nearly ruined me. Being left behind is an important part of the human experience. And though I won't be able to shield all the children in the world from experiencing it needlessly, sometimes I wish I could.

Back-to-School Tips for Kindergarten

Alisyn — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 18:02:00 GMT

I know it's only early August, but I've got school on the brain. Around here, the first day of school - kindergarten for our family - is just a couple of weeks away. Visions of new backpacks, lunch boxes and closed-toed shoes are dancing in my head, but in my stomach are butterflies the size of elephants. Whether you're a slightly nervous/excited parent like I am, or you're sooooo ready to drop the kids off at school that you can taste it (or both!), here are some great tips for easing the separation on that first, big day.

Tell your child in advance that he or she soon will be going to school.
Be positive and reassure your child that school is a good place.
Never use school as a threat or a means to change your child's behavior.
Prepare for new school experiences by using puppets or by role-playing some enjoyable school activities.
Read age-appropriate books about going to school to help your child know what to expect. Or work with your child to make a storybook about going to school.
Prepare the night before by planning meals, clothes and transportation.
Consider riding the bus with your child the first day. Check with your child's school to be sure this is allowed, and don't go along if your child seems embarrassed.
Let your child bring a security object to school, like a stuffed toy, or give your child your photo to keep.

For more tips, like how to tell if your child is ready for school, and how to encourage a love of learning, jump here.

Lying, Cheating Parents? How Far Will You Go to Get Your Kid in the "Right" School?

Karen Murphy — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 11:32:00 GMT

We've all heard stories of scheming Izod and plaid-clad parents inflating little Muffy's kindergarten SAT's so she can get into the best prep schools and eventually into Harvard as opposed to Yale or maybe Princeton, but what if you come from a world where being in one school versus another really makes a difference? Like maybe being the first in your family to go beyond the 8th grade? Is it still lying then?

For the parents of 23 1994 New York City kindergarteners who were tracked through high school, doing "whatever they can to work the vast public school system for the sake of their children" is just a part of life. In other words, the haggling, the relentless nagging, the questioning rules and bending or even breaking them is no longer limited to the wealthy. Parents of all types want the best for their kids.

And why not? Some schools really suck. And some are great. If you can use the system to your advantage, why not? So where do you draw the line? Pretend you live in a different neighborhood than you do in order to attend that neighborhood's better school? Use community clout to get your kid into a gifted class? Sacrifice everything for a year of private school?

It's a sad commentary on the school system as a whole that parents even have to make these choices. What about you? What lengths would you go to ensure your kid gets the education you think he should have? Can you blame these parents for the choices they made?

Kindergarten Enrollment Angst Continues

Melissa Summers — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 14:24:00 GMT

I'll admit my bias here, this article leaves me feeling slightly anxious. I went ahead and started my daughter in Kindergarten even though her birthday was just 2 weeks before our state's cut off. I did so after two years of preschool and with the blessing of her preschool teachers and after reading several sources which seemed to suggest all kids even out by third grade anyway.

She is a straight A student who excels at reading, writing and art but struggles some with math concepts and to a certain extent with science. She's also quite a bit smaller than a few of the kids in her class and this year seems acutely aware of the difference in her age. I have a feeling starting my daughter in kindergarten as a young 5 will be one of the parenting decisions we thoughtfully made I will continue to question into her adulthood.

Being a Kid is Tiring

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 26 May 2007 21:12:00 GMT

Who says being a kid is easy? Here's a cute little guy dozing after a day at Kindergarten