Strollerderby : laundry

Is the Sitter Just There to Watch the Kids?

JeanneSager — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 21:25:00 GMT

Have you ever asked the babysitter to do laundry? Wash your dishes? Take out the trash.

A fed up babysitter sounded off over at MomLogic this week, putting parents on notice she's paid to watch the kids . . . and only to watch the kids.

"Mary Poppins," says she's sick of moms bugging her about how to properly iron their little boy's shirt before a party, and she's not reaching their hands into that laundry basket and washing hubby's clothes.

She's got a point. She's not the maid. She's the sitter.

But is she a little bit wrong too? Is there ever a time when it's appropriate to ask the sitter to do chores around the house?

It's rare that sitters come to my house, but I can't say that I've ever asked one to do anything more than spend time with my daughter and keep her out of trouble. I try to prep the meals ahead of time, so they have only to throw some milk or juice in a cup at intervals throughout the day and unwrap the PB&J to put it on a plate. They're welcome to the food in the cabinet, but I'd prefer not to come home to a pile of dishes in my sink.

Beyond that, there isn't much I can imagine asking my sitters to do. I admit I am enamored with the one teenager my friend recommended, who spent part of the day in my daughter's room with her, empty each dresser drawer of clothing, folding everything and putting it back. I paid top dollar for her, but wowsa - I could FIND a pair of jammie pants and a jammie shirt that matched that night! You want her number now, don't you?

As a babysitter myself back in the day, I remember doing that type of thing - the unasked-for tidying. I clearly remember alighting from the bus with the little boy I watched every afternoon, heading inside to set him up at the table to do his homework then turning to the dishwasher. We had our adventures, but when we weren't tromping through the woods or reading in the living room, I felt like I had to keep myself busy.

There were limits. I would never have touched the parents' laundry; and if they'd asked I would have balked. Laundry is just too personal a job for someone who isn't being paid to do it, and for a teenaged babysitter to have to see the Dad's underwear there can be untold traumas!

But the kids' laundry is another issue. "Mary Poppins" says she won't iron the baby girl's socks as asked. She won't iron the kids' pajamas either because that's "stupid." I tend to agree with her on the order itself (but then again, I don't iron - that's what a spritz of water and a tumble in the dryer is for). But this is an issue that's related to the task at hand - it's part of taking care of the kids. Doesn't that make it part of her job?

What about picking up after the kids? She says she barely has time to get their dirty breakfast bowls in the sink because keeping up with three toddlers is hard. Yes, toddlers are hard to handle, but she picked babysitting. She told these parents she could handle the task. Now, apparently, she can't. So maybe the people she needs to go back the drawing board with the parents, and discuss what's expected and what she's comfortable doing. Or maybe she needs to find a new job, in a new career path.

I might not ask my babysitter to do much, but if she told me she flat out didn't think she had to do things that related directly to watch my kid, I'd be finding another sitter.

Image: MomLogic

A Chore Confession

Adrienne Martini — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

I'm not a domestic goddess. Most chores do nothing for me. Yes, I like to have a clean house but vacuuming just for the sake of vacuuming will never happen. Still, I get a secret little thrill from doing laundry -- and that's not just because I get to play with my husband's underthings, because, really, ew.

I have been known to lovingly stroke the new front-loaders at the home supply store. Sometimes, I drool and moan. I used to think I was alone in my secret laundry love.

But I'm not. Susiej knows what it is to love laundry -- so much so that she's come up with 13 environmentally friendly ways to make it even better. Like such a thing is possible.

So go and tumble some for me.

Photo credit.

Greenhouse: Mean, Green, and Clean

Amy Kuras — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:03:00 GMT

For the first time since our little guy was born 11 weeks ago, we're havin' ourselves a party this weekend. A not-so-big one, and mostly family, but involving people who are Not Us coming over to our house.
And that means cleaning. Real cleaning, beyond the daily food gunk removal and periodic slapdash vacuuming of pet hair off floors and bathroom scrubbing we've been doing just to keep the place from being condemned. I hate cleaning, I mean like really loathe it with every fiber of my being to the point just about the only thing I can think of when I am cleaning is how much I hate cleaning.
So I am a sucker for tips to make it easier, which is at odds with my desire to be more environmentally responsible. Seems like the more toxic something is, the better it works.
Here are a couple of things that have come into the Strollerderby Command Center lately that I thought were interesting:

How to make your own laundry soap. Mod Cottage, which I've never seen before and is so ultra cool, has a whole category on "green-ish" living. Cheap – less than half the cost per load of commercially available stuff – and earth-friendly. The same post has a recipe for laundry rinse. None of the people in my house can use any commercially scented products because our skin will go insane, and I miss nice-smelling clothes, so I may give this a shot. And laundry is the only houseworky task I kind of enjoy, so hurray.

Howotodothings.com's Green Living Guide. This site needs some major copy editing, but some of the tips are cool (use lemons for cleaning!) or just plain intriguing (use urine as fertilizer! — and no, I could not bring myself to click the link. GAH.)

Wish me luck, peeps, and any advice on getting it done fast and greenly are appreciated.

5 Reasons Wives Do More Housework

Cole Gamble — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:00:00 GMT

A recent study found wives do seven times more housework than their husbands. As I write this post my wife is folding laundry, and I wonder, can this be true? Do wives really do more housework? Nah, crazy talk. Oh honey, while you are tackling that mound of freshly laundered clothes, could you grab my coffee mug? It’s sooooo far away.

Okay, okay who thinks this comes as a big surprise? It's a stereotype, a running joke, a real screw job for women, but I think I have some legitimate reasons why women do more around the house.

First, let me give you a little background. I am actually quite domesticated. I grew up in a house where the father cooked more than half the meals and definitely did his share of chores. It's funny, because I thought this was normal. I think many guys of my generation grew up under similar circumstances; homes where both parents work and so the men were needed to pitch in to a greater degree. So in an age of more enlightened men, why do women do more? Here are my theories:

Old Fashioned Sexism. Not until I met my in-laws did I discover some people really see a difference in “women's work” and “men's work.” Dishes, vacuuming, windows—my father-in-law won't touch them. The only kind of chores he'll consider are those masculine enough to present a potential for physical danger (i.e. changing lawn mower blades, knocking down a hornet's nest). I would suggest he wash all the knives in the house after having five or six whiskey sodas if he requires that Fear Factor element, but I don't think he would buy it.

Men simply have a different tolerance for disarray than women. I see it whenever my wife goes out of town. Am I disgusting when I am left to my own resources? Do I allow plant and animal life to flourish in pools of spilled orange juice on our counters? No, but I certainly don't do much in the way of housework but every other day (a thought that cause's my wife's throat to close up and sends her into coronary palpitations). Where am I saving time? Oh, I suppose one could start by not making the bed in the morning (I'm going to mess it up in fourteen hours anyway). Simple corner cutting practices like this streamline my life when I am on my own so I can literally drive to work still half asleep. When it comes to finer cleaning like water spots on the mirror or dust on the bookshelf, women might think men just don't give a damn. Not necessarily true, we are just unaware of it. When my wife says, “This place is a dump” I look around and see a perfectly ordered house with everything in its place. I literally can not see the squalor she sees. For a man to see the dust, it has to be within six inches of his nose, so unless he finds himself trapped under a collapsed bookcase, said bookcase will not see Mr. Pledge until the dust is as thick as a dictionary.

Women don't like how men do it. I mentioned my wife is folding laundry. Help was offered by me but Nicole declined it. She usually does, as did my step-mother when I was a kid, because both women can't stand how I fold laundry. I honestly don't know what I am doing wrong; there is some kind of perfect geometry to underwear folding I apparently can't get my head around.

Some chores have higher point values. My wife has zero interest in cleaning the cat box. Who does? So the job falls upon me and because of the sheer grossness factor of the chore we've agreed my turd sifting contribution is worth three of her preferred tasks.

Women just want to take care of us because they love us so much. Do I really mean this, or am I just baiting for comments?

Photo: www.theage.com

Mom Likes Sick Kids and Lice

Madeline Holler — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 22:29:00 GMT

An AlphaMummy at the Times lists all the stuff she thought she would hate about parenting but turns out to have enjoyed. I'm so not relating.

I mean, she lists "taking care of sick kids" at No. 1. I would say that's one of the things I wasn't looking forward too, and for good reason: it's far worse than I ever imagined (Mommy's a little sleep-sensitive.)

What else has unexpectedly brought her joy: the smell of her kids dirty pants and picking through their hair for lice. Seriously? I think I might be jealous. As for dirty pants, I'm neutral, but wouldn't it be great if I loved them? The lice, though, forget it. Granted, I have no experience there yet, but I can't imagine it being the least bit, as she describes it, "satisfying" (Mommy's also got bug issues.)

This AlphaMummy also likes helping with homework (makes her feel smart), coloring, instructing her kids in "hard-core feminism" and co-sleeping (mostly the comments on her post turn into a debate on co-sleeping. We're so over that though, aren't we?).

So what about you? If you didn't raise your hand -- what anticipated drudgery has turned out to be fun? Anything you thought you'd love that you are more than eager to turn over to your partner?

I thought I was going to hate children's TV, and sure, it can be crappy. But I have "my shows" (Arthur being one, Clifford being NOT one.) I expected the worst of car trips with young kids but I actually look forward to them -- the crappy food, the whining, the same CD 2,000 times. Fun.

On the flip side, I thought I'd love giving baths, pre-kids, but it's not my favorite (too much prep-work and clean up) and I found myself surprisingly bored with so much of the reading material meant for 4- to 6-year-old's.

Your turn!

Greenhouse: Baking Soda is Wonder Stuff

Amy Kuras — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:03:00 GMT

I'm not exactly the world's most fabulous housekeeper, but I do feel better when the house is clean. I just hate all the hard work required to do it. So I tend to turn to harsh cleaners that get the job done fast, all the while worrying about the effect it may have on the baby I am carrying or the air quality in the house for the people and pets that are already living here.

So I love coming across tips for inexpensive, nontoxic, green cleaners (because while I am totally Method's bitch, the cost mounts up). Like these tips for baking soda. I already knew it was a wonder substance, but I didn't know it could do things like put out small kitchen fires, kill roaches, and deodorize your hands (I'm assuming after chopping onions or garlic). And to keep drains clear, pour baking soda and vinegar down them once a week, which sounds like a chore my daughter and husband would fight for.

My favorite baking soda use is as a deodorizer for stanky gross laundry. When my daughter was in the "frequent accidents" phase of potty training, I'd throw a bunch in with any load that had her stuff in it and it came out smelling fine – I'm guessing it would work well on cloth diapers too. Plus I use it on sheets and towels; we all have sensitive skin and this helps soften and freshen them without giving us rashes.

Not only is it Earth-friendly, it's cheap. You can find it in giant bags at Costco and frequently find generics at the dollar store.

Moms Living the Dream and Wearing the T-Shirts That Prove It

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:55:00 GMT

LTDchix t-shirts for moms rule. They are sassy and irreverent and hit the nail right on the head. Motherhood isn't quite the promised golden hued dream of paradise, but it still has its moments of glory and mundane bewilderment.

These t-shirts reflect a light and lively approach to mothering. One with more silly than sour. Laugh, my sisters, laugh. Otherwise, you might just end up crying and martyred and sad and simmering with resentments. These shirts are perfect for a girls' night out or a "Mommy is on strike" day. I have a couple of other titles that I think would really work with these images including "Surrender the Fantasy," "Sexy and Reproductive" and "Mammals Rule." Also, I'd probably add in some swear words and some tight tanks for daddies like "My Baby is No Pussy" or something.

Other t-shirts include "Beach Cart Mom" "Laundry Mom" "Vacuuming Mom," all with the apt title "Living the Dream." I'd wear any of them. With pride.

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