Skip The Cereal, Buy The Marshmallows

Brett Singer — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:45:00 GMT

When I was younger I had a strange dream. I had a job as an idea man at a cereal company. My big idea was to put raisins in everything. Raisin Corn Flakes. Raisin Rice Krispies. Raisin Froot Loops. Everyone at the company loved it. I was a big success.

That never happened, of course. Part of the reason is that anyone can put raisins into their cereal whenever they want to. But what about the marshmallows? Not real marshmallows, those don't hold up as well under a barrage of milk. I mean "marshmallows", the kind found in Lucky Charms. (Mmmm... Lucky Charms... OK, I'm back.) What if you want to put them on your oat bran?

Well -- if I may slip into announcer mode for a moment here -- now you can! Thanks to CerealMarshmallows.com!

Here is what the sellers of this product have to say about it (punctuation and capitalization errors left intact):

"Cereal Marshmallows are great tasting Marshmallows Comparable to the leading cereal with marshmallows, But this is 100% Marshmallows only, Give your cereal a great taste and when add them to regular oat bran or wheat bran cereal, They make it taste great and it's a great way to get kids (or adults) to enjoy eating healthier cereal."

It's a little bit like The Sneaky Chef, except that you are putting sweetness onto healthy food instead of the other way around.

My main reservation isn't the idea of putting a sugary substance onto something healthy. I put brown sugar on my oatmeal almost every morning. It's the fact that there are no ingredidents listed on the website. And that you order via PayPal. The possibility exists that some lunatic is simply buying Lucky Charms and pulling the marshmallows out of the box, throwing them in a bag and selling them to you. Which would be gross.

Other than that, you know. Great idea. Sure.

Would you buy these for your kids? Or, you know, for yourself?

Source: Buzzfeed

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Karen Murphy — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 12:50:00 GMT

I grew up with a fireplace. That burned real wood. And we actually had fires in it! During the long, cold, California winters (where "cold" is a relative term), every weekend Mom would pop Dobie Gray on the hi-fi and Dad would veg out to football on our black-and-white TV (we were the last family on Earth to get color) and stoke up the fire. And a couple times a year, we'd have marshmallows.

I got pretty good at toasting them, too: golden brown on the outside, not burnt, and gooey-creamy on the inside. Perfect. The trick was patience. Mom didn't have any. She'd dunk hers right into the flames, set it afire, blow it out, then pronounce that charred-but-raw horror delicious. (Yeah, and she claimed to like burnt toast, too. I just thought she was being the martyr, but maybe she needed more carbon in her system. Whatever.)

And of course the trick also involved rotation. To perfectly brown each side evenly. Like I said, it's an art.

But...a battery-powered faux-wood-grain marshmallow spinner? That is wrong on so many levels. How can you teach your kids the art of perfectly-toasted marshmallows, just right to slide off onto that meltable chocolate for s'mores, using this monstrosity? And how can they be sure that 92 rpm is the right speed, anyway? Looks too fast to me. Or! For increased ridiculousness, you can get the Super Spinmallow (which spins at 153 RPM and includes an attached flashlight). Oy.

But! Have a look at Jon Heder using the Spinmallow. He seems to have some difficulty with the motorized food-related products. I don't blame him a bit.

P.S. Oh, the inventor has a sense of humor; he's posted links to blogs talking about his product.

P.P.S. I'll bet there's a lot of guys wishing they could use the phrase "extends to 29"" about something a little closer to home.

Strollerderby : marshmallows