Strollerderby : miley cyrus

UPDATE: Jamie Foxx Apologizes To Miley Cyrus

Brett Singer — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:30:00 GMT

Jamie Foxx issued a mea culpa on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. EOnline.com reports that Foxx responded with a "Yeah" when Jay Leno asked him "Did you say something inappropriate?" Here's the rest of it from EOnline:

"I so apologize to [Cyrus], and this is sincere...I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far. I have a radio show...We're really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it maliciously. You know I'm a comedian."

Then, looking at the camera, "Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand."

So there you go. Good enough? I think so. Do you agree?

Original post follows below.

*-*-*-*-*

So, like, hey now.

A little background. Jamie Foxx has a channel on SiriusXM Satellite Radio where he does a show called The Foxxhole. He said some... things about Miley Cyrus (aka Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz). Someone called in and mentioned Miley's little dustup with Radiohead (she wanted to meet them, they said no, she got pissy and yakked about it on some radio show). The Oscar-winning Mr. Foxx then went off a bit. Here's the audio, which is not safe for work. At all. Seriously. You have been warned.

So yeah. He said it. There are a few other people in the mix, and I'm not sure who said what. I'm fairly certain it was Jamie Foxx who said that Miley should make a "sex tape", and then a female voice added "with your dad." "White bitch" was in there. Also something about doing heroin "like Britney" (I must have missed that headline about Brit nodding out), as well as a suggestion that Miley catch VD from a bicycle seat. (I didn't think that was possible, but hey, what do I know?)

A few things to say here. First, Foxx said this on his radio show this past Sunday. It appears to only be coming out now. That doesn't diminish it, but it does mean that not a lot of people heard the comments. Second, he was trying to be funny. That doesn't excuse the comments at all, of course. But in theory performers get more latitude when it comes to humor.

As for what was said: it was completely inappropriate and in incredibly poor taste. I'm not a fan of Miley's; I think her music is horrible, and the message of her entire persona seems to be that fame is a goal worth trying for, which is something I don't agree with. (That's the short version of a longer thought that I'll share one of these days.) In my opinion you can make fun of anything and talk about whatever you want. But when its an underage person, boy or girl, and you start saying "white bitch" and suggest that she make a sex tape with her dad, that seems unnecessary. He has the right to say it. But why would he? (A commenter at LATimes.com says that the Foxx clip is somewhat out of context, but, like the Rodney King video, I'm not sure that context matters in this case. Maybe it does, but I doubt it.)

There's also plenty to make fun of when it comes to Miley. The Radiohead thing. The fact that she sleeps in her parents bed sometimes, despite being sixteen years old. Her music. Her TV show. Lots of material to work with before you go to "white bitch" who should do heroin and make a sex tape.

What do you think? Should underage famous people be off-limits, at least in some ways? Or did Miley deserve it?

Source: EOnline

Image: Amazon

Miley Cyrus Does It, But Would You Let Your Teen Sleep in Your Bed?

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What Hannah Montana: The Movie is Teaching Kids (Hint: It's Not Self-Esteem)

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 19:00:00 GMT

For the last year, I have rarely met a girl under the age of eleven who has not, upon learning my first name, immediately burst into a pop song by Miley Cyrus’ alter ego. And to think, I used to love my name.

Because this is already far more Hannah Montana that I can stand, I don’t plan on seeing her blockbuster. But I will gladly pass on secondhand reasons why you and your kids shouldn’t see it, either.

Unsurprisingly, NPR’s movie blog found the movie lacking in intrigue, camera work, and sound quality, cinematic failures that, admittedly, no 11-year-old is bound to notice. But Miley’s young admirers may be susceptible to the movie’s very clear message that it’s better to please others than it is to act like yourself. (Spoiler alert: stop reading if you don’t know want to know the compelling plot twister that communicates this message.)

After years of trying to live a double life—one of being Hannah Montana the popstar, another of being Miley Stewart, the Tennessee farm girl—Miley decides she can’t stand the deceit anymore. At a concert, she takes off her wig (which amazingly prevents anyone from noticing that Miley and Hannah Montana have the exact same face) and announces her true identity, prepared to be accepted for who she is. Hurray! The end of deceit and superficiality is here!

Well, not exactly. According to NRP, mass disappointment ensues. “Several characters insist that children across the world will ‘lose their dreams’ if they find out Hannah is a fake. So Miley listens to them and puts the wig back on. Happy ending.”

If there’s any message preteen girls don’t need, it’s that other people will not like you if you reveal your true self. As NPR puts it, "Hannah Montana: The Movie suggests that we can make people happy by always being who they want us to be, so we should maintain a performance at all costs." Then there’s the equally problematic message that “average” people from humble beginnings cannot be powerful or inspiring figures (an anachronistic message, given our current president).

I’m sorry that Miley Cyrus has to live her entire life as a fake. But that's no reason to glorify such a dismal fate for the impressionable tween masses.

Photo: NPR

Miley Cyrus Does It, But Would You Let Your Teen Sleep in Your Bed?

JeanneSager — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:32:00 GMT

Think you've got it bad trying to kick your cosleeping toddler out of your bed? Actress and singer Miley Cyrus recently told Glamour she still likes to crawl into bed with mom and dad on occasion, and she's sixteen.

Cyrus told Glamour she sometimes feel immature for her age, and she related that to a desire to sleep with mom and dad, specifically cuddling with her mom, after a long day.

I truly can't imagine having crawled into bed with my parents at sixteen. Perhaps it speaks to how much tighter-knit the Cyrus family is; I was your typical teenage girl at odds with her mother and then some. But it sounds like they might be a little too tight-knit.

Not in a sexual way. At least, I'm not concerned that there's anything inappropriate between child and parents. I do wonder, how do mom and dad resume a normal sex life after their kids have gotten out of the infant or even early toddler stage if they don't know if their kid might wander into their room in the middle of the night? When does the family bed return to the marital bed?

My daughter is three and a half, and she usually crawls into our bed first thing in the morning - she usually wakes up before we do. But where she sits at the end of the bed with a coloring book or her stuffed Piglet for a few minutes to at most maybe half an hour each morning, she rarely sleeps with us.

That's usually reserved for nights when she's sick, when my husband or I initiate her coming into our bed. It's for comfort, mostly, ours as much as hers - I would be jumping up to check on her in the next room anyway. Even then, it's hardly pleasant. She kicks. She windmills her body, turning so she's spread horizontally across the bed, and my husband and I are driven to our two very separate sides of the bed. I don't enjoy sleeping with my daughter in the bed, and the sleep is hardly restorative.

After a certain age, kids just get to be too big physically to share a bed with two adults. They also prevent parents from having ANY time alone together, as two people who love each other for the sake of each other - not just because they share a connection to one not-so little body.

I haven't figured out what the age is - my daughter is still three and still needs me - sometimes - even though she's been out of our room since she was old enough to sleep through the night.

Where and when do you think parents should close the door on their kids?

Image: Wikipedia

How to Alienate Your Offspring – Enter a Hannah Montana Lookalike Contest

SunnyChanel — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 01:17:00 GMT

Are you a Dad looking for a way to embarrass, alienate, and be officially disowned by your offspring? Well, I have found the perfect way to do just that. By entering a Hannah Montana Lookalike Contest. Nothing makes a tween scream “you are no longer my dad!” louder than having him dressed in gold lame and belting out a Miley Cyrus ballad.

At the Mall of America in Minnesota, more than a dozen blonde wig donning dads participated in a Hannah Montana karaoke contest. Besides winning disapproving looks from their children, the dads’ quest was to be crowned “Mr. Montana” and to win two roundtrip airline tickets, which doesn’t seem to be reward enough for such a feat. Throw in a million dollars and we’ll talk.

If you want proof of such Hannah Montana dad hotness, check out the video of the contest here.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done to try to win something?

VIa Jezebel

Lawmaker Wants Barbie Outlawed

Madeline Holler — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:29:00 GMT

A West Virginia lawmaker's heart might be in the right place. But his head? It's clearly in a different part of his body. State delegate Jeff Eldridge, a Democrat (or commie?), wants to ban Barbie and other 36-24-36 ilk from store shelves around the state.

This leads me to ask many questions, starting with:

Has this guy ever heard of the Internet? Because it turns out you can buy stuff online. And won't a ban actually boost sales of the 50-year-old doll whose popularity is most certainly on the wane?

Eldridge wants to rid his state of toys that place too much emphasis on a girl's physical beauty, at the expense of emotional and intellectual development.

From MSNBC:

"I just hate the image that we give to our kids that if you're beautiful, you're beautiful and you don't have to be smart," Eldridge told West Virginia news station WOWK.

Is he calling Barbie stupid?

While he's at it, then, he might want to do something about cheerleading, toddler beauty pageants and all things Miley Cyrus if trading in looks and glamour for self-confidence and smarts are his goals.

The lawmaker said he has little hope of actually getting his bill passed, but let's say Barbie is outlawed. What about ... D'Arbie, Barbie's possible long-lost twin? What about the MILF next door? Will she have to move too? Enforcement, sir, enforcement!

Barbie Gets Inked

Photo: MSNBC.com

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Brett Singer — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:30:00 GMT

I'm going to backtrack now on something I said earlier. I was bemoaning (OK, fine, I was whining) that Disney, who now own the Muppets, were going to ruin what I feel are great characters, thereby destroying the possibility that future generations will derive pleasure from Kermit and Company.

Are you sitting down?

I may have been wrong.

Various Muppets appeared on The Today Show this morning to promote their new holiday special, 'A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa' (airing on NBC tonight at 8pm EST; Newsday gives it an A). (No, I don't mean to imply that Tom Cruise, who also was on this morning, is a Muppet. Although that would explain a lot.) The best part, in my opinion, was Miss Piggy, who as far as I know is still being played by the great Frank Oz.

It's not even that what she said was so hysterically funny. But the way that the hosts just sit and chat with her as if she were something other than felt never gets old to me.

Anyway, here are two clips from Miss Piggy's recent appearance, plus one from earlier this year where the Muppets took over the show and Miss Piggy tied up 'Law & Order' star Christopher Meloni with crime scene tape. Good times, good times.

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout

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Miss Piggy on Today Show

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Older: Muppets Take Over Today Show

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Muppets Take Over the Today Show and Miss Piggy Ties Up Christopher Meloni

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Hopefully these frequent Muppet appearances will get my kids interested in the characters once they outgrow Sesame Street. I grew up loving The Muppet Show, and enjoyed the same shows on DVD with my first son. (The second one doesn't seem interested yet.) With such a multitude of viewing choices out there, reminding us about the Muppets can't be a bad thing.

So there you go! I may have been wrong about Disney and their treatment of the Muppet property. Happy holidays, everyone.

(NOTE: Thank you to the commenter below who points out that the embeds of these videos aren't working. Go to MSNBC.com to find them.)

Source: MSNBC

Image: NYTimes

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Is Miley Cyrus' First Photo Shoot Creepy?

Brett Singer — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:15:00 GMT

Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz's first photo shoot has surfaced. The shots were taken back in 2002, and some of them are way creepy. At least that's my opinion. You may feel differently. Let's take a look, shall we?

Some of the images are fairly tame, even for kiddie modeling shots.

Then comes the belly shirt. And the quasi-pouty face.

Actually, I can't decide if this last one is a pout or a "Why am I doing this?" expression.

I'm not a big fan of putting your kids into the entertainment industry. There are obviously cases where the kid wants to do it, and sometimes the kid wants to do it and actually has some talent. But how does a parent participate in a photo shoot where their daughter is wearing a midriff-bearing t-shirt? I feel a bit creepy just writing about this.

Here's a shot with, I think, Miley's mommy.

Not sure if this was candid or staged. I’m thinking staged. She appears to be primping Miley Ray Whatever for the next shot. Either way it's… well, I can't come up with a better word than creepy. And I'm not sure I need to.

One thing for sure – the next time Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz and her crew complain that Annie Leibovitz or some other celebrity photog somehow tricked them into a racy photo spread, we need not take that seriously for even a second.

As little girl role models go, Miley is certainly better than Tila Tequila or Britney Spears. But would you want your daughter dressing like this? And would you take pictures of it? This isn't JonBenet Ramsey creepy, but it's close. What exactly are you going for when you dress a ten-year-old girl (the age she was in the shoot) like this?

I know I’m getting all moral majority butthead on you. But what do you think of these pics? (Links to the full gallery, which is enormous, are below if you really want to see them all.) Creepy? Not creepy? Would you let your daughter do a photo spread like this at age 10?

Source: MileyWorld via OceanUp via Buzzfeed

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Mix Rap With Kid Shows and Whaddya Get?

JeanneSager — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Stephanie in all her pink haired cheeriness just can't take the nasty out of Lil' Jon. So while the assorted awesomeness of hip hop mashed up against our kids' favorites shared by Cole earlier today is disturbingly hilarious, you'd do well to kick the kids out of the room before watching it. Oh, and that goes for this post too.

Some parents get all ferklempt when folks start messing with their kids' characters. But if your five-year-old is perusing YouTube, you'd be better off spending your time worrying about something else. . . namely, them. The rest of you? Check out Cole's post on Unreality Magazine's list of Twelve of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups.They use the word "rap" loosely. Right Said Fred? Really guys? That's actually the lamest on the list anyway - because who wants to watch Hannah/Miley/Smiley/Achy Breakying Daddy's Heart and hear the words "I'm too sexy?" Ew. Just ew.

The Lil' Jon and Lazy Town mash up, however, is pure art. The others are clever, although they're your basic "take video clip, lay new song over" design (with impeccable timing - check Mr. Krabs eye-popping action in the Spongebob/Eminem's "Just Lose It" video). Mixing Stephanie's "Gotta Do the Cooking by the Book" with Lil' Jon dropping the mother of all f bombs? G-f'ing-en-i-ous. Warning: listening to Lil' Jon might destroy your vocabulary. It will also get you thinking about all the funny things you found while wandering around YouTube when you're stuck with only a computer to amuse your pre-schooler (long story, so let's just say hooray for hulu).

In other words? They were missing some of my favorites. So here's another taste of rappers doing it kid's school:

Dora, Dora, Dora the Whore-a!

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Cheetah Girls Banned From Macys Thanksgiving Parade

Brett Singer — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Fans of Disney Channel girl group The Cheetah Girls will be disappointed to learn that the trio will not be appearing at the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade this year.

The reason? Semi-nude photos of Adrienne Bailon, who plays Chanel Simmons in the band/movies about the band/TV show about the band/something or other (I don't fully understand all of the identities involved here so forgive me) that have appeared all over the Interwebs.

Particularly weird is the possibility that Adrienne had a publicist leak the pics and then claimed that her laptop had been stolen. Jonathan Jaxson, a publicist and/or blogger, claims that he was hired by Bailon to release the steamy snaps (sorry, dropped into gossip-language there for a moment) so that Bailon could "distance herself" from Disney and start developing a more "adult" image. This story doesn't appear to have been confirmed by Adrienne or her people, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.

Many news outlets are comparing this to what happened with Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus Lipschitz and Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical), two more Mouse House mamacitas (ouch! Gossip talk! Stop that!) that had nude (Hudgens) or semi-nude (Cyrus) photos appear in the wild. But there are a couple of differences. First, Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus Lipschitz was under 18, and some of the "controversial" photos appeared in Vanity Fair, and the ones that didn't certainly looked like they were candid cell phone snaps. Hudgens was just 18 when her nekkid self showed up on the web. Also, HSM's Hudgens (ah, I give up, gossip speak will happen on occasion) immediately apologized for the racy pics. So if it was a nefarious plot to let the entire world see what she looks like in her birthday suit, it was a well-hatched one.

Why does their ages matter? Because teenagers do dopey things sometimes. So do people in their mid-20's, but if Bailon, who is 25, actually did have someone release these pictures on purpose, she's a huge dummy.

I know this is becoming a trend, but I have mixed feelings about this story. On the one hand, who cares? On the other hand, I would have preferred not to have to explain to a 7 year old what a DUI was when Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain got pulled over a couple of months ago.

Today on the Howard Stern Show on Sirius XM Radio, Robin Quivers theorized that some of the young actresses on the Disney Channel are so desperate to be uber-famous that they'll do anything to get there. If it turns out the photo thing was a leak and not an accident, I'd say she's right.

Should Macys keep the Cheetahs out of the parade? After all, one of their members may be have contributed to the downfall of civilization by putting out pictures of herself in a bra. (Or maybe not. Like I said, I'm conflicted.) More importantly, are they as popular as the amount of news stories about them would indicate? My kids don't want a lot of Disney Channel, but Hannah Montana I know about. The Cheetah Girls, not so much. Any fans, or parents of fans, out there in Internet land want to set me straight? Or even just explain the whole dual-identity thing?

Source/Image: Fox News

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Would You Get A Hannah Montana Tattoo if Miley Cyrus Asked You To? A Baldwin Brother Did!

SunnyChanel — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Here’s a little advice. When a 15-year-old dares you to get a tattoo, there is absolutely no way you should follow through with it. My 15-year-old niece dared me to change my name to Sunny Delight and did I do it? No. I did not. What do they know…they’re 15! Apparently, actor/writer /born again Christian /brother Stephan Baldwin not only takes 15-year-olds seriously but has the tenacity and follow thru to see an off-the-cuff dare to fruition.

Last year, Stephan Baldwin crossed paths with tween queen Miley Cyrus at the White House. According to Baldwin’s rep, Miley dared Cyrus to get a tattoo tribute to her in exchange for letting Baldwin make an appearance on Miley’s mega hit show Hannah Montana, “making him the best dad ever to his young daughters.”

He held up his very permanent part of the deal with the initials HM tattooed on his shoulder, but did Miley? Despite Miley saying that it would happen, a rep from Disney rep told the New York Daily News that the actor is "not cast in an upcoming episode."

No matter how much your love your kids, would you get a Hannah Montana related tattoo to prove it?

Via: New York Daily News

Disney Pulls Hannah Montana Diabetes Episode

Brett Singer — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:15:00 GMT

Hannah Montana has managed to piss off a bunch of parents. But it wasn't with her music.

Apparently the Disney Channel pulled what was going to be the first episode of the new season because some parents who saw it early complained. "The episode, titled 'No Sugar, Sugar,' finds Hannah’s friend Oliver learning he has diabetes and was intended to teach audiences that the disease is one that can be managed." Some parents, "had concerns about how the disease was portrayed," although the New York Times article I saw doesn't mention any specifics. The title does sound a little bit jokey. (Maybe they were trying to revive Miley's dad's series "Doc".) But come on -- what did they do? Put a Snickers on a fishing pole and dangle it in front of a diabetic character?

One thing that "Seinfeld" was supposed to have taught us is that the "very special episode" is usually a bad idea. I'm not saying that it's not a nice thing for a show watched by zillions of tweens to actually try to teach a lesson now and then. But usually it comes across as forced. (David Spade, before he was famous, used to do a funny stand-up routine about "a very special episode of 'Family Ties'" where Alex is caught masturbating. "Aw Mal, can't you knock?") I've never seen Hannah Montana, but my guess is that people don't usually watch the show looking for issues-oriented television.

For that, everybody knows you should watch the new "90210". I mean, really.

Interesting twist: Apparently Nick Jonas is diabetic, and Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus Lipschitz used to wear some sort of "diabetic dog tag" in support of the Jonas Brother that she either was or wasn't dating. (I can't remember and don't care enough to look it up.)

I do think it’s a little weird when a network yanks a show – in this case before it even officially aired – based on the complaints of a few people. How bad could it have been? I remember an episode of "The Brady Bunch" where Mike says to Carol, "If I ever caught one of my sons playing with dolls, I'd send him to a psychiatrist." (Cue laugh track.) My mother heard the line and asked me if I thought that was an OK thing to say, especially since I played with action figures, which are very doll-like. So maybe a better move is to watch the show with your kids and talk to them about anything you find objectionable.

Or just shut the TV off. But let's not get too crazy.

Source: NYTimes, EntertainmentWise

Image: EntertainmentWise

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Morning News: Public Schools? Hannah Montana? Michelle O's Big Decisions

Madeline Holler — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Michelle Obama should really rethink the dog. Like millions of other moms, she'll be the one that has to take care of it. And where's she going to find the time for that? She's got to find a school for the girls, get to know the new hometown, Washington, D.C., say good-bye to Chicago and move.

Not only that, she has to figure out how to let them appear on Hannah Montana while also keeping them grounded. And weigh the pros and cons of sending the girls to public -- yes, we said public! -- schools in D.C.

Let's take this one at a time:

Lafayette Elementary School in Northwest Washington, D.C., got a very interesting phone call a couple of days ago. The unidentified caller wanted to know whether her two children could attend even if they lived outside the school boundaries. The caller gave 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. as the home address. Was this Michelle? Are they seriously thinking public? Or is this another one of those "Sarkozy here on the line" calls?

Michelle's decision will no doubt be difficult, but we highly doubt the girls will be wait-listed. There's a bit of a scramble to land the president-elect's kids.

Our unsolicited advice to Michelle: do not accept Billy Ray Cyrus' invitation for Sasha and Malia to appear on "Hannah Montana." We know, we know, it's Malia's fave! Keep them in the bubble as long as you can!

Feel like you've lost touch with "That One"/"The One" ever since election results came in. Fear not. The first Internet elected president now has a website. Sign up for alerts and frequent updates. Watch weekly YouTube fireside-ish chats. You'll even get to comment on pending legislation!

Onto the president-elect: Barack Obama is coaxing Patti Solis Doyle to take a cabinet secretary post. Recall, Solis Doyle was the campaign manager for Hillary Clinton who pretty much took the fall for the candidates faltering campaign and resigned mid-primary season. Mom note: she's worried about being away from her two young children (take the job, Patti, take the job!).

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A British study concludes that women with a history of mental illness are more at risk for having stillborn babies. Like mentally ill women and/or women who had stillbirths need that shit?

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Photo:

Three-Year-Old Romanian Girl Youngest Singer, and She's Cute As All Get Out

JeanneSager — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 16:59:00 GMT

I hope they have access to Babble in Romania. With the economy the way it is, I'm thinking a move to South Central Europe is in order. At least there my 3-year-old could be making some big bucks to keep Mommy and Daddy in the lifestyle to which we've become accustomed (and yes, by lifestyle I mean the Noggin-watching, orange juice-drinking, early morning-rising life of parenting).

Turns out the youngest person to EVER have a number one hit, a record contract and an MTV contract is Romanian born Cleopatra Stratan. The cute-as-a-button daughter of Romanian star Pavel Stratan was 3 when she performed for two hours in front of a live audience, 3 when Ghita hit number one.

The video is adorable. . . and a little disturbing. Have you ever seen a 3-year-old sit that still? Introduce me, will you?

That was three years ago, which puts Cleopatra past her prime of course. Think Britney, not Miley. There's even a section of her Wikipedia page that refers to her early life - I guess that would be pre-potty training? But with her getting older every day, I'm thinking my 3-year-old can move right in there. We've already got the advantage - I can't understand a word of Ghita, and the Romanians won't be able to understand a word my daughter says. So how will they know if she's been practicing or just watching Noggin?

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Disney trying to revive The Muppets

Brett Singer — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:30:00 GMT

I was going to title this post, "Disney doing everything they can to screw up the Muppets." But that was too long.

The New York Times reports on the fact that Disney is attempting to bring the Muppet "brand back from the dead," as "youth marketing expert" Samantha Skey puts it. ("Youth Marketing Expert" is code for "Spawn of Satan", but that's another topic.)

Eventually, odds are that the Disney Marketing Machine (another term that, loosely translated, means "Spawn of Satan") will succeed in cramming the classic characters down the gullets of children everywhere. This is the company that made Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus Lipschitz (one of those names is fake – guess which!) one of the most successful stars of all time. They've even managed to convince kids that "High School Musical" is something other than awful. So the task of getting that audience to like something that is actually good shouldn't be too tough, right?

The thing is, despite our warm memories of all things Muppet, not every enterprise Kermit and Co. have been involved in has been a success, especially after Papa Henson passed away. "Muppets Tonight" (not mentioned in the Times article) was a flop, not because of bad marketing, but because the show wasn't very good. (I liked it a little bit, but mostly for nostalgia reasons.) And Disney has been trying to get the characters into the Disney machine for some time and so far it hasn't worked out.

Bottom line: since so many parents love them some Miss Piggy, once they see her, they'll want their kids to love her too. So if Disney can manage to put the Pig and her friends in places where both the parents and the kids can see them, they will probably succeed in getting a return on their investment. It doesn't take a marketing genius to figure that out.

Here's the thing about The Muppets. At their best, they are fully realized characters, despite the fact that they are not actually alive. Charles Grodin told a story once that went something like this: when he was filming "The Great Muppet Caper", he turned to Miss Piggy (played by Frank Oz) between takes. He told "her" that he wanted to try the upcoming scene a different way. After a long pause, Oz/Piggy replied (in character, while not being filmed), "Well, I don't really see it that way, but if you want to I guess we can try it." Why tell that story? Because that's what made the Muppets great. Not the green felt, or even Miss Piggy karate chopping anyone who had eyes for her beloved Kermie. It's the characters and the people who played them. To think that you can just pluck Fozzie Bear and the rest into another situation and assume that everyone will have the same positive feelings about them as before is kind of silly.

On a slightly different tack, does it bother you that Disney is taking these characters we grew up with and turning them into shills for generic Disney product?

Source/image: NYTimes

The Babble List: 25 Great Children's TV Shows That Aren't On DVD

Enormous baby sculpture

Disturbing Origins of 5 Nursery Rhymes

Naked Harry Potter pics hit the web

Grand Theft Auto player saves family

Awww…a baby otter…

One that didn’t make the list – Run Joe Run

Morning News: Nope, No Improvements. Nation Still Falling Apart.

Madeline Holler — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Today's Morning News sounds a lot like yesterday's, except that rally in the stockmarket? Um. Didn't last. Now that lawmakers are talking a little bit of regulation! ... a wee peek at the books! ... maybe some limits on how much CEOs can actually loot from their failed institution ... yeah, all the sudden nobody's got confidence.

Although homeowners in mortgage trouble should rejoice: more help for bad decisions.

And for everybody forced to carry a salary-eating student-loan anchor around their necks for the next 40 years? Didn't mean to get your hopes up. You still owe every cent.

Adding insult to injury? (Or is it salt in the wounds?): gas prices are soaring ... aaaaagain.

Oh, and those foreign banks the U.S. has also pledged to bailout? Those countries want us to know we're doing the right thing. They support us all the way. They won't be participating monetarily, however.

Amid all this money doom and gloom, there is good news: the Treasury Department unveiled a pretty new penny! That will certainly take the edge off.

In campaign news, the top candidates are attacking each other while basically pledging the same thing: to fix the nation's money mess and make us feel safe from the terror of unscrupulous lenders. You know, what are they gonna say?

Sidenote: when you're George W. Bush, do you just watch all this happening and think, "this mess I made is sure gonna be a bitch to clean up!"?

Just whose side in the dirty campaign is Joe Biden on? He said Obama's ad laughing at John McCain's modest-to-non-existent computer skills was "terrible" and that if it were up to him, he wouldn't have run it. Are we missing something? Is this reverse-voter-psychology or something?

The 77-year-old Brazilian fashion model once loved by John McCain is still a fan of the presidential candidate!

Is it just us or has everybody forgotten (1) the U.S. has an attorney general and (2) under Bush, the A.G. is not required to be controversial (it just happens most of them were)? Because Michael Mukasey (see, it's all coming back to you), told federal immigration courts they were being stupid assholes (we're totally paraphrasing) for sending a Muslim woman who suffered genital mutilation back to her native Mali where she'd face recrimination.

Ugh, we need some cute this morning! Here's some:

Mily Cyrus is totally committed to her Disney show "Hannah Montana." We think "committed" is shorthand for "put out the casting call, I'm throwing in my blond wig soon, real soon."

A Swedish woman was kept from boarding her flight because her name was too long. So she bought another ticket for a different flight. They tried to ground her for the same thing.

Today's tearjerker: the Berlin zookeeper who kept that little polar bear Knut from dying after his mother rejected him was found dead in his home. He was only 44. No details regarding the cause of death.

Photo: Time

Shockingly Phallic Hannah Montana Candy

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 23:50:00 GMT

It’s pretty astounding that Disney had the nerve to blast Annie Leibovitz for sexualizing Miley Cyrus in those Vanity Fair photos. Not that I’m any fan of taking photos of topless 15-year-olds and calling them art, but this, I gotta say, is far worse.

Unless the marketing people who came up with this candy are blind robots, they had to be perfectly aware of what it looks like Miley is about to do to that gummy guitar. They even felt the need to explain what the shapes are on the package, lest people confuse them with something inappropriate, like a phallus.

Well, I’m pretty sure the “microphone” shapes are not going to help matters any.

Photo: Jezebel

5 reasons it's a good thing I had boys

Brett Singer — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 17:05:00 GMT

I was going to say, "I'm glad I have boys" but that didn't sound quite right. That is, I would love girl-children just as much as I love my guys. But there are a few ways that having boys has made my life – mine, specifically – a little bit easier.

1. No pink ponies: It doesn't seem like having a Y chromosome should automatically mean that one is interested in superheroes, videogames, and action figures inspired by superheroes and videogames. But experience says otherwise. While there are definitely girls who love trucks and boys who follow the Frasier and Niles Crane path – a love of opera, Broadway and snappy clothing – my guys are way into Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, Pokémon, Wii, Playstation 2, and so on. If I had to learn whatever there is to know about My Little Pony, I think my brain would crawl out of my ear.

2. Miley-free zone: Thus far Things 1 and 2 have shown zero interest in Billy Ray Cyrus' little ~~meal ticket~~ girl, which means I can continue to go through life knowing almost nothing about her. Maybe this will change when they get older, but hopefully by then Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus will have either pulled a Britney Spears and had a meltdown, grown up and started singing jazz standards, or retired to spend her days sitting on a giant pile of cash gazing longingly at Nick Jonas. OK, I guess I sort of know something about her, but that's just from trying to keep up with pop culture. I have nothing against Miley or the Jonases, but not having to listen to their music or attend their concerts is something I will never, ever complain about.

3. No batting of eyelashes: My wife has pointed out many times that if we had had girls, odds are I would be putty in their hands. I wish I could say I disagree but I think she's probably right. Little girls are so cute, and seeing them cry is much more painful than seeing boys cry. I know that's stupid, sexist, and stupid (did I say that one already?). But I've seen, more than once, little girls who lead their dads around by the nose. It's probably best if we never find out whether or not I would join their ranks.

4. Less irrational over-protectiveness: Again, I am fully aware that this is unfair, stupid and sexist. But if I had girl-children, I would be very tempted not to let them leave the house until they were 30. I guess going to school would be OK, as long as they dressed like those Mormon sect people.

5. No High School Musical: When this monstrosity first started airing on the Disney Channel and the CD went to number one, I tried to watch it out of curiosity. I made it through about 15 minutes before I realized that it would probably be more fun to chew glass. The songs are lame, the characters are dull, the story is… Feh. Anyway, the boys seem immune to whatever charms that thing has, and for that, I am grateful.

image: Amazon.com

They say: Sarah Palin should step down

Sarah Silverman says: make granny vote for Obama

Palin should read Internet for Dummies

Stuff my 3 year old broke

More stuff my 3 year old broke

Dad arrested for leaving son at McDonald's

Red eye? Nope, eye cancer

Creepiest spam message ever: "we have hijacked your baby"

Lego Metallica

11 months old, 62 pounds

Babies R Us tells breastfeeding mother to get out

Volleyball hasn’t come a long way, baby

Shawn Johnson more mature than her coach

Shawn Johnson, Democrat? (UPDATE: Now with video)

Oy vey, Miley showed her tuchas again

Brett Singer — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:00:00 GMT

I think we may be over-reacting just a tad to, like, everything Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus does. (I know I've said it before, but this girl really does have more names than a Chekhov character.)

Now, I understood, a little bit, when people got upset about the Vanity Fair photo shoot. It seemed a little bit odd to be taking pictures of a 15 year old wearing nothing but a bed sheet. But sexualizing underage girls isn't a new thing for the entertainment business – Mandy Moore was 15 when she made "Candy" (here's the video), and Britney Spears was 17 when "…Baby One More Time" came out, with her wearing a skimpy schoolgirl outfit and writhing on the floor. Going further back, Brooke Shields was 14 in 1980 when she told the world that nothing came between her and her Calvins.

All of these examples, in my opinion, were sketchier than what's happening with Miley Ray Whatever. In theory, these were private photos that ended up in the public eye either by her own carelessness, a hacker, or, if you want to go with a total conspiracy theory, someone at Disney who sneaks them to the press. The latter seems insane, but who knows. No matter what the real story is (Miley's not returning my calls, so I don't know the truth) the photos themselves aren't that bad.

Now – they are photos of an underage girl in a state of semi-undress. Which makes them extremely creepy. So, somewhat like the "should Paps take snaps of Brit's kids in her own house?" question, what do you think about the never-ending stream of Miley photos? Do they mean she's "slutty" and a bad influence on America's impressionable young girls? Or is it, like, enough already, and should we listen to Dolly Parton and leave Miley alone?

image/source: GossipGirls

Old Jonas Brothers CD priceless

Jobs you don't want – Camp Parent Liaison

Teen Choice Award: Miley Cyrus

Teen Choice Award: David Beckham

Like OMG Miley Will Totally Babysit Ashlee Simpson's Baby!

Dolly Parton Tackles Britney, Lindsay and Miley

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Rich or Rehab: Whatever Happened to the Kid From 'The Black Stallion'?

Old Jonas Brothers CD priceless

Brett Singer — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Far be it from me to question the musical taste of today's youth. But I will question the actions of parents. (Actually, I'll question the music as well, but mostly the parents.)

This article in Monday's New York Times reports on the fact that the first Jonas Brothers CD, "It's About Time", recently sold for $200 on eBay. It must be a rare collector's edition, right? Nah. It's from 2006, when the Bros were signed to Columbia Records, and is described by the Times as a "limited issue" release from the now-Disney-owned pre-teen trio. (The brothers themselves are in their teens, but the fans are mostly younger.) One reason for the demand, says the Times, is that this is the only – ONLY – other source of Jonasy music besides their Hollywood Records (aka Disney) self-titled debut. Fans are rabid – RABID – and simply must – MUST – have more… Jonas… Brothers… music…! There is a new JBros CD coming out on August 12, but THEY... CAN'T... WAIT... THAT... LONG!

A couple of little tidbits from the article:

-   One lucky 17 year old, Sarah Gest, found a few copies of the disc in a used record store in Quebec, and re-sold them on eBay for much, much more.
-   Tickets for Jonas Brothers' concerts are being scalped for $2000.
-   Louise Kuzma of Vancouver spent $200 on "It's About Time" on eBay for "her friend’s teenage daughters."
-   Why is everyone in this article from Canada?
-    Disney execs say they won't re-release the older album because it's from "an earlier phase in the band’s development." Right. The gangsta rap years.

Here's the part I'm wondering about. Why are parents spending this kind of money on their children's music, or even getting this involved? Over on my own site, DaddyTips.com, I wondered about a dad who woke up at 3am to get Jonas Brothers tickets for his daughters, took them to the show, and sat in the nosebleed seats so they could have the front row. First of all, isn't spending $200 for a CD excessive, not to mention $2000 for a concert? At some point, isn't it better to say, "you can't always get what you want", which has the added benefit of quoting a song that's better than what they're listening to? Second, why are parents so involved in their kids' musical experiences? If the kids are too young to go to the show by themselves, I get it. But if that's the case, they're also too young to be getting such insanely expensive "gifts."

My mother, despite sharing some of my musical tastes (or, more accurately, I share hers since she had them first) was mostly not involved in my cassette/CD/LP (yes, I own LPs) buying, nor did she facilitate my concert going. I dealt with it myself, which taught me to… well, to do things on my own. Imagine that.

source: NYTimes, image: Amazon

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More Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

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Rich or Rehab: Whatever Happened to the Kid From 'The Black Stallion'?

Study Finds Biological Kids Treated Better

Best of FameCrawler: Week of August 1st

Whit Honea — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Christina Aguilera On A Bed Of Roses

More Beautiful Jolie-Pitt Family Photos!

Tom Cruise Named In Scientology Lawsuit

Federline is SHOCKED at Britney!

Miley Cyrus: Saying Goodbye To Hannah Montana?

What Actor Was Not Nice in Nice?

Formal McCarthyism

Who's Pregnant But Not Admitting It?

Britney's Bikini Photos Leaked!

Sarah Jessica and Matthew Broderick: EX In The City?

Top Five Celebrity Pregnancy Denials

Kate Hudson and Eric Lindros, Already

Wal-Mart Presents: Hannah Montana Wake-Up Calls!

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:30:00 GMT

I take this personally—seeing as we share the same first name, and now every time I introduce myself to a girl under the age of 12, she starts calling me HaMo. I’ve been a silent victim of Miley Cyrus' rampant fame for far too long, and I’m fighting back!

Today’s Washington Post had a story entitled “It’s Hannah Again. Should We Take This?” At first, I was terrified that the article would be about the popularity of the name Hannah for baby girls in the past five years. But what I found was even worse.

Hannah Montana has teamed up with Wal-Mart to bring tweens everywhere “personalized” wake-up calls and reminders to go shopping—for back-to-supplies, naturally. The call is free! The only price is having millions of teens and preteens hear their favorite rockstar remind them to shop at Wal-Mart, the company that underpays its workers, burdens taxpayers by exploiting public health care programs and development subsidies, destroys the environment, and tells its workers how to vote: not Democrat.

If Hannah calls, don’t answer!

Photo: Washington Post

Condom Maker Offers $1Mil to Miley Cyrus to Sell Rubbers

Cole Gamble — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Lifestyles condoms has offered 1 million dollars to Hannah Montana to rep their product in an effort to get more teens to use them. In addition to the payday, Lifestyles is also offering Miley a lifetime supply of the condoms.

Of course just the mere mention of the offer does nothing for Cyrus' attempt to get off the Brittany Spears over-sexualized image train started by those Vanity Fair back bearing photos. She's still a Disney property, and one imagines Disney won't cotton to their top talent hawking prophylactics. Besides, isn't a million dollars to Miley Cyrus, like, her lip gloss budget?

Of course Lifestyle sis probably just trying to drum up some free advertising, which brings us to the larger question: is it a problem to market condoms to kids? Miley is fifteen; one would assume Lifestyles is aiming for that demo. Many believe even the mention of condoms with teens will encourage them to have more sex. I believe availability to condoms encourages kids to have more safe sex. Kids are gonna have sex. To think introducing them to condoms activates their sexuality, well that's like the tail wagging the horny dog. From personal experience, I can tell you, you could have given me a lifetime supple of condoms when I was a teen and it wouldn't have gotten me laid anymore than before.

What do you think, are condoms corrupting our youth, or should we be tossing them out at schools like confetti?

More by this author:

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

What's Next, Shock Collars For Your Kids?!

Baby Cages: The 5 Baby Products that Should be Illegal

5 Ways to Keep the Kids from Growing Fat this Summer

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Best of FameCrawler: Week of July 18th

Whit Honea — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Angelina Jolie Twins Photos: SOLD!!!

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman Wreck One Home Too Many

Exclusive Sketch Of Angelina's Twins!

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Miley Cyrus Leaked Shower Pics: Blame Lindsay!

Lourdes and Miley kidnapped?

Brett Singer — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Have America's sweethearts been kidnapped? No, silly! Do you really think something like that would happen and you wouldn't hear about it? Here's the truth about these photos:

First, Lourdes Ciccone, daughter of Madonna. Who is that unmasked man holding her hand? Well, that's her dad. Not Guy Ritchie, but her biological dad, Carlos Leon. Carlos was once arrested for smoking pot in Washington Square Park, but as far as we know, he doesn't do that too often. They probably just saw The Rod (note: that's my new name for Alex Rodriguez; he's not just A rod -- he's THE Rod) across the street and wanted to get away before he started talking to them.

As for Miley/Hannah/Whatever (the girl has more names than a Chekhov character), she's just filming a new movie, which I won't see but will likely gross hundreds of millions of dollars. She doesn't look too happy but I'm guessing it was just a bad moment. Either that or The Rod was visiting the set that day.

images: NY Post, Now Magazine

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Who is babysitting the Kid-Rods?

Lou Gehrig Day on July 4th

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Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus Ready For Sex After Shower Pictures Surface

Naked Kid Pics: Porn or Art?

Madeline Holler — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:54:00 GMT

Hmmmm. Clearly there's a difference between nakey pics of your kids running around the house and the cover of this publically funded Australian magazine. For one, nudie shots in the tub are hardly this well composed. Also, your own kids' shots are pretty much just for the family (oh, and the blog).

Plus, I don't know about your kids, but my girls rarely sit and pout like subdued -- "it's what you can't see" -- fashion models.

Still, I wouldn't exactly call this kiddie porn. What do you think?

The prime minister of Australia says he's "disgusted" and is reviewing funding of the magazine for running what he thinks is a provocative photo -- shot, incidentally, by the topless/pantless subject's mother. (Lots of the outrage centers aruond the girl's exposed nipple.)

Some background: the cover shot is a protest of the government shutting down an art exhibit that featured many, many nude kids as the subjects. The artists and curators claim those pics were art, not porn, but seems the country's very religious leader feels otherwise.

From The Independent [via Jezebel]:

The Australian Childhood Foundation said parents had no ethical right to consent to nude photographs being taken of their children, as it could have a psychological impact in later years.

But Nelson and her father, art critic and professor Robert Nelson, defended the photo in a press conference outside their home in the southern city of Melbourne.

"I love the photo so much. I think that the picture my mum took of me had nothing to do with being abused, and I think nudity can be a part of art," Olympia Nelson said.

Rudd last week met with the leaders of Australia's six states and said he would forge a national child protection system following a spate of shocking cases of child neglect and abuse.

What do you think? Kiddie porn or art? Little of both?

Attack of the Strippers

Photo: The Independent