4 Mother's Day Gifts to Let Mom Know She's Haggard

Madeline Holler — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:23:00 GMT

There's a time and a place to give health and beauty gifts. But a Mother's Day brunch is not one of them. If you really want to honor mom, give her jewelry, art ... hell, the rest of the day to see a movie alone.

But don't imply she's less than gorgeous. Remember, it's the thought that counts and you don't want mom to think that you think THAT. Right?

So stay away from the following gift suggestions, some PR firm has repeatedly blasted to Strollerderby. Yes, I know, it's just a tube of really expensive mascara. But it says oh, so much more.

Gift: Lash Food, an all natural eyelash and eyebrow conditioning stimulator that provides you with fuller, longer, darker and stronger lashes. $129

Thought: Mom, you're beautiful on the inside, but not in your face.

Gift: Belli Skincare's Stretchmark Minimizing Cream, healing skin reparative treatment specifically formulated to decrease the appearance of existing stretchmarks. $52

Thought: Mom, ew. Either cover those things up or get rid of them.

Gift: Tres Sleek (formerly Flabuless) Arm Shaper, aka: a girdle for Mom's lunch-lady arms.

Thought: Mom, you're fat and oozy!

Gift: A trip to a luxury hotel where Mom can wait for her early morning plastic surgery appointment -- performed by Dr. Michael Salzhauer, the guy who wrote a kid's book about moms and plastic surgery, "My Beautiful Mommy"!

Thought: Mom, we think you know what this means.

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Photo: Lindathebralady.com

5 Mother's Day Do's and Don'ts

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sun, 04 May 2008 22:44:00 GMT

Only a fews days until Mother's Day and there's no time like the present to plan a gift that strikes just the right chord of sensitivity, uniqueness and sophistication. To get you steered in the right direction, here are 5 things not to buy for your girl, as well as 5 stylish alternatives:

1. Sappy Statuary - These are lovely sentimental gifts that grandma will cherish, but for today's modern mama messages such as "You Color My World with Love" are likely too cloying.

Alternative: Why not get her some woman-centric art made by a hip mama? Since taste in art is highly subjective, play it safe by buying her Indie Fixx's Art Print of the Month.

2. Keepsake Jewelry - Nothing wrong with jewelry, even jewelry that is commemorative of motherhood, but tread carefully and try and avoid jewelry that says "#1 Mom." A misstep here and all of a sudden lead-filled resentment is coursing through her bloodstream.

Alternative: Try a more unique approach and buy something original and unusual like the necklaces they sell at Childish Boutique.

3. Inspirational Book - A few clues. If you buy a book in the card aisle that begins with "Dear Mom, you gave me everything, you gave me life..." chances are this will hurt her teeth and make her cry (but not in a good way).

Alternative: Have the kids make her a book with photos and handwritten captions, or order a snapbook from Shutterfly. Even better still, how about the new book featured on Babble?

4. Embroidered Wall Art - Of course there's nothing wrong with embroidery crafts, even those expressing love with a small message in a petite wooden frame. The key here is language. If she's under 60, she most likely won't find these words resonant: "Mothers are angels sent to Earth."

Alternative: Instead of a statue collecting dust, why not give her Mommy & Me wearable punk art? She'll be touched and stylin. Or, buy her some beautiful original art from a local artist, something pretty she can put in her office or over her bed.

5. Domestic Gear - Here the key is how the gift is given. If your mama doesn't cook and isn't particularly domestic, giving her anything kitchen or cleaning or domestically related will be interpreted as an insult. And even if she does enjoy preparing meals and entertaining, vacuum cleaners, or cleaning implements of any kind are generally a no-no.

Alternative: If, however, she is a culinary powerhouse, pick out something she wouldn't buy herself, like a beautiful tea set, or a set of le creuset cooking pots.

On the other hand, many mothers are very easy to please.

What is the best or worst gift you were ever given for Mother's Day?

[Hat Tips: Droolicious and Cool Mom Picks]

Edited to add: Clearly the subject of Mother's Day gifts makes some people very very angry. Here's a suggestion: Why not take out some of that anger on all the horrid toys out there?