Strollerderby : mother's day sucks

So. Was it Good for You?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sun, 11 May 2008 23:30:00 GMT

Mother's Day is nearly over. Thank God!! Partners and their baby mamas everywhere are breathing a collective sigh of relief, children are high on the sugar from the early morning pancakes, phone calls have been made (it's not too late!!).

So. How was yours?

After all the Mother's Day sniping and reconsideration, our house was harmonious today. Breakfast in bed, pretty earrings, and blue nail polish. Sweet cards and helpful husbands.

It may be cliche and predictable, humdrum, and bourgeois, but it was grand.

Mother's Day Reconsidered

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:27:00 GMT

If snarking about Mother's Day were an Olympic Event, some of us at Strollerderby would take home the Gold. The pressure! The bad gifting! The adult children of parents who married several times!

It really is all too much. But the Angel of Gratefulness has changed all that.

Seriously. This statue is just the kind of thing mamas of a certain age really love. Mine in particular. I like to think she's high maintenance and somewhat hard to please but it just ain't so. This statue made her cry when she found it on her front porch today. And it took so little time to make her day.

One of the comments on the "Why I Dread Mother's Day" post from last week also struck a chord:

Don't think that this can't/won't happen to you someday because I've been a good Mom and my adult children would agree if you asked. I also raised them to behave more considerately of others. It's just that this stage of their lives is sooooooo self-absorbing that they just can't see their own behavior. It will change someday and I hope I'm alive to see it. Until then, Mother's Day just plain sucks.

And then I thought how sad I'll be one day when I hear my daughters complain (as they likely will) about the fact that I get hurt by their thoughtlessness. The Angel of Gratefulness is schmaltzy and silly, but it made her day, and that is something I should endeavor to do more often.

5 Mother's Day Do's and Don'ts

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sun, 04 May 2008 22:44:00 GMT

Only a fews days until Mother's Day and there's no time like the present to plan a gift that strikes just the right chord of sensitivity, uniqueness and sophistication. To get you steered in the right direction, here are 5 things not to buy for your girl, as well as 5 stylish alternatives:

1. Sappy Statuary - These are lovely sentimental gifts that grandma will cherish, but for today's modern mama messages such as "You Color My World with Love" are likely too cloying.

Alternative: Why not get her some woman-centric art made by a hip mama? Since taste in art is highly subjective, play it safe by buying her Indie Fixx's Art Print of the Month.

2. Keepsake Jewelry - Nothing wrong with jewelry, even jewelry that is commemorative of motherhood, but tread carefully and try and avoid jewelry that says "#1 Mom." A misstep here and all of a sudden lead-filled resentment is coursing through her bloodstream.

Alternative: Try a more unique approach and buy something original and unusual like the necklaces they sell at Childish Boutique.

3. Inspirational Book - A few clues. If you buy a book in the card aisle that begins with "Dear Mom, you gave me everything, you gave me life..." chances are this will hurt her teeth and make her cry (but not in a good way).

Alternative: Have the kids make her a book with photos and handwritten captions, or order a snapbook from Shutterfly. Even better still, how about the new book featured on Babble?

4. Embroidered Wall Art - Of course there's nothing wrong with embroidery crafts, even those expressing love with a small message in a petite wooden frame. The key here is language. If she's under 60, she most likely won't find these words resonant: "Mothers are angels sent to Earth."

Alternative: Instead of a statue collecting dust, why not give her Mommy & Me wearable punk art? She'll be touched and stylin. Or, buy her some beautiful original art from a local artist, something pretty she can put in her office or over her bed.

5. Domestic Gear - Here the key is how the gift is given. If your mama doesn't cook and isn't particularly domestic, giving her anything kitchen or cleaning or domestically related will be interpreted as an insult. And even if she does enjoy preparing meals and entertaining, vacuum cleaners, or cleaning implements of any kind are generally a no-no.

Alternative: If, however, she is a culinary powerhouse, pick out something she wouldn't buy herself, like a beautiful tea set, or a set of le creuset cooking pots.

On the other hand, many mothers are very easy to please.

What is the best or worst gift you were ever given for Mother's Day?

[Hat Tips: Droolicious and Cool Mom Picks]

Edited to add: Clearly the subject of Mother's Day gifts makes some people very very angry. Here's a suggestion: Why not take out some of that anger on all the horrid toys out there?

5 Alternatives to Mother's Day

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:21:00 GMT

Mother's Day isn't for a few more weeks, but I'm already dreading it. And I'm not the only one. Say for some reason you don't care for Mother's Day. Maybe you don't have any kids. Maybe you think it's just a meaningless overcommercialized holiday. Maybe you don't have the time, money, or inclination to worry about it.

Since ignoring the day altogether is not recommended, particularly for the mama's partner, here are 5 alternatives to Mother's Day that won't leave you feeling like you were just licked by the Hallmark aisle:

1. Get Out of Town - Sometimes it's best to leave the scene of a crime. If you get out of town (alone or with your partner) you might really enjoy some relaxation, without all the politics.

2. Children's Defense Fun - Put the kids in charge of Mother's Day activities. Depending on their ages, this could mean you'll be trapped in sensory overload restaurant with large mice, or maybe you can all sit around and color together in your pj's.

3. Mommy Picks the Movie - It's Mother's Day and your chance to watch all the chick flicks you want, in the privacy of your own boudoir. So grab the popcorn, some chocolates and kick back, sister.

4. Who's the Boss? - You are! Do whatever you want. For a day! For a week! For a year!!

5. Start a Girlcott -- Who needs Mother's Day anyway? Just skip the whole thing and do something fun without all the fuss and pressure.

Why I Dread Mother's Day

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:31:00 GMT

Mother's Day ought to be a time of celebration or at least quaffing of a beverage while sitting with one's girlfriends in pretty robes somewhere. It ought to be a time for mamas everywhere to chill, worry- and guilt- and child-free. But often it isn't.

This isn't (usually) because Mother's Day gifts don't measure up somehow. Rather, it is because...

The Me Generation drives some of us crazy over our perpetual insufficient dutifulness.

My brothers and I hatch plans months in advance to avoid the tantrums that follow if we should deign to forget that is is OUR mother(s) rather than our wives or ourselves that are the most important people on May fucking 11th.

If there were a way to drop out, elope, run away for the entire week leading up to and including Mother's Day, I think my siblings and I would do it. Even when we became parents ourselves and hoped that we'd somehow get a reduced sentence on Mother's Day, we were totally wrong.

And the Boomers say we're self-centered.