Strollerderby : nicole richie

Before and after baby pics from TMZ

Brett Singer — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:33:00 GMT

TMZ has a gallery of before and after pregnancy photos of various celebrities; I won't list the names because in our gossip-fueled media, you probably know who they all are.

Whenever I see something like this I think of an interview that Ricki Lake did with David Letterman a few years back. Ricki was talking about how much weight she had lost, and said something to Dave about how it was difficult but worth it (or something like that, I can't find a clip.) Letterman, in his low-key midwestern way, said something very memorable: "when you make the kind of money we do, it's a lot easier to stay in shape."

I'm paraphrasing but the point is that a person of means can hire a trainer, a chef, or whatever they need if they require help in shedding extra pounds. Most people, however, can't. When I see "look how thing she is" stories, I'm always curious who the trainer is. This isn't to say that someone who isn't flush with moolah can't lose weight. It's just nice when they acknowledge that they have help.

Of course, some of the women did better than others in the weight-loss department. But blaming all the weight gain on the baby, especially in the case of Britney (y'all!) seems kind of unfair. Sure, it's tough to get back to pre-baby weight, but it's even tougher when all you do is eat corn dogs all day (y'all).

As for the others: Julianna Margulies doesn't look much different. Melissa Joan Hart looks like a real parent – tired. Nicole Ritchie appears to be at a normal weight when pregnant as opposed to her skin and bones thing. And based on this photo, Christina Aguilera seems to have gained weight only in her chest. Check 'em out for yourself if you like that kind of thing.

image: TMZ

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Hello, Harlow!

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Why Don't Pregnant Women Tip Over?

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:18:00 GMT

I'll answer that: my huge ass served as a sturdy anchor. So the better question is, why don't skinny pregnant twigs like Nichole Richie tip over.

I can answer that too. Anthropologists who studied the spines of living and long-dead fossilized women found that the vertabrae evolved over time specifically to keep pregnant women balanced and capable of running away from predators (like the fetus-fetishizing paparazzi?)

The researcher studied the lower spine of 19 modern-day pregnant women and found the lower back extends across three vertabrae in women and just two in men. Moreover, the connecting points were larger and the bones themselves shaped in a way that allowed them to stack without shifting or breaking. All this gives the female lumbar greater range of motion, which allows them to lean back as the size of their bellies increases, keeping them from toppling over when they walk (but not helping them in the least when trying to put on boots at 37 weeks gestation).

But why the difference? Evolution, of course!

The women who had this genetic mutation survived to have babies who also survived who had babies who also survived ... all because they could forage and get away from predators despite an enormous mid-section.

It's imperfect, since pregnant women still often complain of back pain. But like many traits that evolved, it's good enough. Especially if you have a skilled masseuse.

Pregcellent: Are Baby Name Tattoos Sweet Or Stupid?

Kelly Mills — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:29:00 GMT

Joel Madden says when his and Nicole Richie's baby springs forth and is immediately swaddled in a dry-clean-only Gucci scarf and outfitted with giant sunglasses, Joel will quickly commemorate the occasion by getting the baby's name tattooed over his heart. A name like Ryan, Lennon, Casey or Dylan, because Joel "really wants to use an Irish name because of his heritage." (To which I say: Noooo! Don't saddle our people with your destined-for-tabloid-infamy spawn Joel! As if we don't have enough cultural baggage to bear from Lord of the Dance and most House of Pain songs!) Anyhow, the fact that Joel Madden is doing this made me ponder the important question, is a child name tattoo touching or trashy?

Now, I naturally asked the other Derbyers what they thought, but in the process I laid a clever trap. I neglected to mention that I have my kid's name tattooed on my arm. Only those who have seen me tank-topped know this, and they didn't rat me out in time to stop the other folks from giving honest answers. Mwah ha ha.

Karen laid down this honest opinion, that child name tats are "lame. What do you do when you want to cut them out of the will? Though maybe if you have a lot of kids it can help you remember their names. I have 4 and I'm always getting them mixed up, so if I could refer to my ass or something from time to time I might remember who's who." But of course, she's a vegetarian, so we don't take anything she says too seriously.

Amy, who is obviously a thoughtful and intelligent person, says, "I think kinda sweet, although I have seen moms get some sort of symbol of their child's name (like a lily for Lily or...I don't know, the Red Sea for Moses) which I think is cooler if done in a more arty way." Coincidentally I have a vine on my arm for my child with a plant name. Very astute observation Amy.

Madeline, who is so pragmatic I'll probably have her manage my life from now on, says, "Nothing takes the rebellion out of tattoos than your mom's ass sporting your name, you know?" Extra bonus to the tat, if you ask me.

And Mike "Sow-My-Seed-Far-and-Wide" Adamick says, "My only problem with kids tattoos is that it's hard to keep track of all the kids. I mean, one night in Phoenix and holy crap, another Dylan on your chest or a Mimi on your forearm. I'd have ink poisoning if I tried to keep up ... " No comment, but that December support check better be in the mail or I'm kicking his ass.

Jessica just sold me out and told the group about my artwork. The bitch.

My obviously biased opinion is that I like my tattoo, even if I do have to field questions like "Which came first: the tattoo or your daughter?" As though I would randomly tattoo a name on me and then name my kid after it. Sigh.

Feel free to agree or haterate as much as you like now.

Best of Famecrawler: Isla Fisher is a Redheaded Goddess

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 18:06:00 GMT

Posted by Karen Rani

Boy Howdy, Isla Fisher is gorgeous. You can't get that colour hair anywhere, well, unless you're Sassy. Then it's all natural and stuff.

Here's Fisher and baby Olive at the West Hollywood Farmers' Market.

Speaking of gorgeous mamas:

Nicole has been given leave from her anti-drinking program
Pam Anderson voted most likely to have fake....
Katie Holmes and dot with their matching bangs

Boiling the Baby, Drinking the Wine: Pregnancy No-No's We Say Yes To

Alisyn — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 15:11:00 GMT

Nicole Richie is going to catch so much shit for hottubbing while pregnant. Poor thing.

No, I mean it, poor thing. She's not my favorite person in the world, but jeez, a pregnant lady has every right to ease her aching joints and swelling feet in some hot water once in a while. I know I did. What's the difference between taking a warm bath, and sitting on the steps of a swanky jacuzzi (I mean aside from the obvious - that one is a sloshing, bubbly mess that barely contains the pregnant body and the other is actually relaxing)? Nothing, except that you're going to catch a bunch of shit for doing one. It's a no-no.

Hey, while we're on the subject of physician-mandated no-no's, let's see a show of hands: Who ate sushi while pregnant? (Me! Sticking mainly to California Rolls and tempura rolls, but occasionally sampling the spicy tuna that my husband got to hog-wild on alone for nine months). Who drank the occasional glass of wine? (Me!) Who drank more than the occasional beer? (Me! I craved beer in all its icy-cold, bubbly, yeasty glory.) Who traveled outside of the continental U.S.? Who drank coffee, who ate Brie, who jogged, who sat in the hot tub, who carried on with their life as though they were totally healthy and happy and who turned out just fine? Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!... (So did the babies. For the record.)

Man, I realize that warning pregnant women about the possible risks or side effects of engaging in certain activities or eating certain foods is for the common good, and is the responsible thing to do. But seriously - isn't about time we cooled it with the fear-mongering and the ultimatums and the scare tactics? True story: a pregnant friend of mine told me that last week, she'd told her intake nurse that she drinks a glass of wine while cooking dinner every evening. And that nurse called C.P.S. on her. I'm not kidding.

This is what things are coming to. Look out, Nicole. You're screwed.

Serious Celebrity Photoshop Looove

Kelly Mills — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 15:03:00 GMT

I'm addicted to lots of things: coffee, manny porn, those little animal crackers I put in my kid's lunchbox. And now I've got another one: Planet Hiltron. This site could not be updated often enough for me, though I'm sorta glad it's sporadic, since mama can kill lots of should-be-workin'-time on the internet. These are, of course, celebrities if they were less glamour and a little more, um, typical. Check out the Beckhams! Ms. Paltrow! And since Nicole Richie is pregnant, here's a guess at what her little progeny might look like.

After all the airbrushing scandals of late, I'm just so thrilled to see photo manipulation put to good use once again. Now I'll offer up a new photo challenge: what would Heidi Klum look like if she hadn't lost the baby weight? I am just dying to know.

Strollerderby : nicole richie

Before and after baby pics from TMZ

C-Section For Jamie-Lynn Spears Baby

Ashlee Simpsons Likes Cake, Shuns Bras

Lindsay Lohan's (Fake) Baby Bump

Parenting: What's In It For Me?

Denise Richards still trying to prove she's insane

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Best of FameCrawler: Week of June 6th

Best of FameCrawler: Week of May 9th

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Gary Busey Attacks Jen Garner At Oscars

**Jimmy Kimmel Video: "I'm F*cking Ben Affleck!"**

Independent Spirit Awards: Angelina Jolie Totally Reveals Her Humongous Baby Bump

Christina Aguilera Will Teach Her Son To Respect Women

Tina Fey: Bitch is the New Black

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Valerie Bertinelli: Steven Spielberg Raided My Lost Ark

Harlow, Joel Madden and Nicole First Pictures

Marlee Matlin at the Oscars

Why Don't Pregnant Women Tip Over?

Pregcellent: Are Baby Name Tattoos Sweet Or Stupid?

Best of Famecrawler: Isla Fisher is a Redheaded Goddess

Boiling the Baby, Drinking the Wine: Pregnancy No-No's We Say Yes To

Serious Celebrity Photoshop Looove