Strollerderby : nudity

I participated in the whole "Hey Facebook, Breastfeeding Is Not Obscene" event. And I'll admit that even though I tend to think it's a good sign when people who disagree on other things can unite around some common ground, I was still deeply creeped out by the supporters who posted things like "I mean, I wouldn't want my kids to see those icky Facebook ads where two girls kiss, but breastfeeding is natural and God-approved so that should be OK."

Marty Klein takes that a step further, arguing that the Facebook campaign organizers are shooting themselves in the foot by trying to position breastfeeding pictures as "good nudity" as opposed to those pictures that really are obscene, rather than taking a more broad anti-censorship stance. He writes: "Your right to watch South Park ultimately depends on someone else’s right to go to a strip club. Your right to breast-feed in public ultimately depends on someone else’s right to buy a vibrator. MILC [Mothers International Lactation Campaign] may be willing to sacrifice 'real' obscenity like CSI or swing clubs to keep its own photos acceptable, but this short-sighted strategy has never worked."

I have a mixed reaction to this. In a general way, I understand and support Klein's philosophy. I believe freedom of speech for those I disagree with so we all have it and all that. I don't find nudity to be dangerous and while there's plenty of stuff out there I have no interest in seeing or having my kids see, I don't like anyone else drawing the line about what is "obscene" for me. Far too much of that goes on. And unless you're going to limit your cause to fully-latched-on photos (which they weren't), it does start to be a little silly to say "That same breast would be obscene if there weren't an infant somewhere in the shot."

On the other hand, I think there is a value in fighting against the ideas that breastfeeding is somehow sexual and that it ought to be kept private, and I think that's not entirely the same discussion as who should get to draw lines about the publicness of things that many/most find to be sexual.

And, as even Klein notes, Facebook is a private company that can do what it wants to do. I think it's perfectly reasonable for a group of consumers to call it on its hypocritical set of standards about what it considers acceptable in its pictures, without deciding to engage in a larger free-speech fight.

I also note that on the group's official petition, while they do refer to there being photos on Facebook that are "really obscene," they don't explicitly call on Facebook to step up policing them instead, as Klein implies (even if plenty of the commenters do).

What do you think? Should breastfeeding advocates set themselves up as "special case" nudity or fight for our right to bare our chests?

Photo from the Journal de Montréal.

Facebook Mothers Fight Breastfeeding Ban

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Whit Honea — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

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Best of FameCrawler: Week of January 2nd

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Best of FameCrawler: Week of December 26th

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Best of FameCrawler: Week of December 19th

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Best of FameCrawler: Week of November 21st

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Banned Books Week: In the Night Kitchen

Miriam Axel-Lute — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Dreams are weird. We all know this. But it takes some discipline to recreate their weirdness in the light of day. The successfully unabashed surreality of the dreamscape in Maurice Sendak's In the Night Kitchen is one of the many delightful things about it.

But be warned, oh faint of heart: it contains drawings of a naked kid.

The story, for those who haven't seen it, goes something like this: Little Mickey imagines that the scary noises he hears at night are coming from a mythic "Night Kitchen." He falls through the air, out of his pajamas, and into a cake being mixed by three bakers on the streets of a baking-themed city. The buildings are topped with funnels and sieves and the elevated train cars are made of bread. Mickey nearly gets baked into the cake, but makes his escape, fashions an airplane out of bread dough, soars up to the top of a skyscraper-high milk bottle, and dives in to fetch milk for the bakers.

Throughout, the characters tend to speak in chants. "I'm not the milk, and the milk's not me!" exclaims Mickey as he bursts out of the cake. "Milk in the batter! Milk in the batter! We bake cake and nothing's the matter!" recite the bakers joyfully after Mickey provides their missing ingrediant.

Like I said, weird. But fun. At least one reviewer has said she thinks adults have a harder time enjoying it than kids, who are less likely to overthink and try to find the logic in it all.

Kids also are not freaked out by a tiny little illustrated toddler penis. But that, of course, is generally what gets this book challenged or banned. That, and reportedly sometimes "offensive language," which is baffling, unless "Cock a doodle doo" becomes offensive when spoken by a triumphant naked little boy instead of a proper rooster.

If I put on the perennially in-the-gutter lens worn by our modern day Puritans, I'm sure I could read some sort of unsettling, improper vibe into the whole thing. (It's a naked boy! Pouring milk for pudgy adult men he doesn't know! Out of a phallic milk bottle! And then crowing!) And I'm sure that Sendak's coming out has only reinforced whatever twisted reflections of their own fantasies the book banners have projected onto Mickey's dream. (Confidential to them: It's completely irrelevant.)

The fact is, suspicious, nervous adults can imagine such things anywhere they look, and the only reason they feel like they can make it stick to In the Night Kitchen is because of the nudity. How sad.

Happily, children's innocent love for In the Night Kitchen and its message of facing and conquering things that go bump (and sift and sizzle) in the night has made the four-decade-old comics-style book a classic and kept it in print and widely available. Given that my daughter is starting to have a little trouble with nightmares, I think we might read it tonight.

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Des Moines sex club shut down

Brett Singer — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Most of the news that mentions Des Moines this week will be about will Shawn Johnson, the adorable little pixie person with abs of steel who is winning gymnastics medals in Beijing. But there's something else happening in Iowa's most populous city. (BIG GIANT CORRECTION: This happened in Des Moines, WASHINGTON, not Iowa. We have egg on our faces and offer a big thank you to Megan, the commenter who pointed this out.)

A sex club called – hang on – the Hardwood Cabin has been shut down. I've tried to come up with a better re-write for the basic facts, but here is the opening paragraph of the story: "Regan 'Draco' Lane-Smith and 'Naughty' Nonah Elliston outfitted their six-bedroom rental house with 15 mattresses, bondage crosses and sex swings. They built elaborate sets in their backyard for taking erotic photos."

The fun part is that they were doing this in a residential neighborhood. At least, it's the fun part if you didn't live in that neighborhood.

Now, being pervy isn't illegal in ~~Iowa~~ Washinton (as far as I know; I've actually never tried anything pervy in Des Moines). But operating a business without a license is, and that's what got them in trouble with the law.

Naughty and Draco (sounds like the name of a a really crummy rap duo from the mid-90's – "D to the R to the A to the C to the O / I got Naughty on my left and she ain't no ho!") say that they are "being persecuted for their lifestyle," and that since they weren't charging admission, it's not a business; therefore they shouldn't be asked to stop being "happy hedonists." They go on to say that they are, "normal people who happen to enjoy sex."

Sex with a whole lot of people at once, that is. After searching for a house "that would perfectly suit them and their hobby," they found the Hardwood (can't type that without laughing) and started having, um, parties. What began as a bi-weekly affair blossomed into a three day a week thing, with as many as 60 people present. "Members were as young as 22 and as old as 80," according to the Seattle Times.

N and D did what they could to be respectful of their surroundings, telling neighbors that they would be having parties (not sure if they said what kind), and giving out their phone numbers for folks to complain if they felt things got too noisy. The problem is, as the Hardwood (heh heh) groundskeeper points out, "They've tried to be decent…[but] With all that many people, you're going to lose control." Most of the complaints would have happened with any sort of party, clothed or not – too many cars in the driveway, too much noise. In this case, the noises were of the "moaning and slapping" variety, sounding "like a raccoon dying." (Hey! Now that's a party.) The dionysian soiree's also featured nude swimming and sunbathing in the yard in the middle of the afternoon, although no actual sex acts took place outdoors.

As for whether or not it was a business or just a private party filled with naked strangers, I can see why authorities would be a little bit suspicious: the couple's website, HardwoodCabin.com (snicker) said, "on Wednesday, ladies are reduced rate or food or pop donations and men are the usual rate." There are also references to a "staff" that is, of course, "really cool." The site is gone, but you can see it via the Internet Archive; some of their Yahoo! Group is also archived.

I'm not generally a prude, but I don't think I'd be all that thrilled if my neighbors were having weekly parties with that many people, especially if said parties included nude sunbathing and loud sex. In my Manhattan apartment, we used to have a neighbor who was, shall we say, quite noisy when she was in the company of her significant other, but I only heard her when I went to take out the garbage at night. It wasn't like this neighborhood, where you would have had to black out your windows to avoid seeing people going the full monty on a weekly basis. I also admit that I question whether or not a desire to constantly have sex with multiple partners while married is as "normal" as they say. That is, if they really weren't charging anything, why are you having so many people over for random screwing?

Would you want to live next door to these people? And is "swinging" normal behavior?

source: Seattle Times

images: HardwoodCabin.com via Internet Archive

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They Like Big Butts, and They Can Not Lie: Survey Finds Men Prefer Bigger Body Sizes

Cole Gamble — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:30:00 GMT

Drop that rice cake. I said drop it! For years, okay centuries, women have tortured, teased and starved themselves in the hope of reaching that ideal body size. One would assume this was all for the men. If that’s the case, someone should have asked the men, because ladies have been doing it wrong all along.

According to a body survey in the UK mag Fabulous, women claim their ideal body size is a 6. When asked, the men said they though the ideal female body size should be a 10. See the pic for a comparison.*

*These are UK measurements. Size 8 is equivalent to the U.S. size 6, size 12 is a U.S. size 10 and size 16 is a U.S. size 14.

Which begs the question, who have women been starving themselves for? When you ask your guy, “Do you like skinny girls?” and he says “no,” instead of reflexively calling him a liar and hitting him, maybe you should listen. He’s been telling the truth all along. So maybe it’s time to cut out the unending parade of diets and accept the fact men like women the way they look, maybe even more so with a few more pounds. And maybe before you ladies lose all the baby weight, take a second look at how thin you really need to be. The first round of fettuccini is on me.

For the record, I think all those ladies up there are hot.

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Pregcellent: Enough With the Naked Pregnant Celebrities Already!

Kelly Mills — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 18:32:00 GMT

Christina Aguilera is on the cover of January's Marie Claire, buck nekked and pregnant as all get out. I think that since Demi Moore did it waaay back in 1991 for Vanity Fair, we've had the opportunity to see about 75 thousand naked pregnant celebrities in magazines. If you are old like me, you might remember that when Demi posed sans clothes for Annie Leibovitz, there was a big brouhaha. Was it empowering or exploitative? Should knocked up ladies be sexy? But that was the 90's. Now? Eh. But don't worry, I can still manage to work up some pissy anger over the whole thing.

Lord knows I have no problems with nudity (in fact I'm on the pro side of it) and sure, pregnant women can be sex symbols. Be my guest. But I'm starting to get irritated with the phenomenon because of course the burgeoning stars are given the same treatment as everyone in magazines, meaning they are airbrushed and shrunk down and reshaped into this bizarre aesthetic. (I'll add that Xtina is one of those celebs who gets the mighty computer treatment in almost every photo I've ever seen, so she looks like she's made of a strange polymer. She might be a pretty lady in true life, but it's hard to know what she actually looks like with all that retouchification.) And the result is that instead of all these pics being an affirmation of the sexy power of a woman 7 months along, we get an impossible, unrealistic, and frankly weird standard of beauty that pregnant women get to aspire to. Joy.

Stretch marks, the pregnant ass, weird pigmentation, swollen ankles--hey, that's a normal pregnancy for you. But the only things these stars show is a round belly and the bigger-than-before boobies. I'll give my undying love to any famous lady who poses naked in a magazine, far along in her pregnancy and untouched by computers. It might even be sexy.

Hot For Teacher 2: In Trouble For "Partially-Nude" Internet Pictures

Kelly Mills — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:30:00 GMT

Karen told you about the cheer coach who got in trouble when her in-class school spirit ended up on YouTube. Well, some Tennessee parents are upset because elementary school teacher Melinda England had partially naked photos of herself on MySpace and Absolute Punk. The nudity consists of her crossing her arm over what may just be her naked breasts. Ba ba buuuuum. One news source says "Some of her blog entries also talk about her prescription drug use and her 'wild' students." But others say the drug she discussed was Prednisone, taken for fibromyaglia, and she says she has been being hit, kicked and punched by students--that's hardly blogging about your students.

Get this: She's now on administrative leave, and a letter was sent home to parents about the whole thing. You can see the photos here and decide how bad this is. So far the county schools spokesperson has defended her first amendment rights, so we can hope this works out for her. You know, I think it's hard to remember that teachers are people too with non-work lives. The photos don't even come close to qualifying as naked pictures, but frankly, if Jenna Jameson can get my kid to read at a second-grade level she's welcome in our classroom. Whaddaya think?

Good Lord. I'm a Naked Mom--Just Like Britney.

Kelly Mills — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 16:32:00 GMT

Did you catch the Slate thing on naked parents? As I've glanced at Britney's meltdown, I was aware she may have whitened her kids' teeth, and that she gave them soda, but somehow I missed that one of her crimes was parading around nude in front of her boys. I must've just blocked that out, because, well, my six-year-old has seen me naked. In fact, she did just this morning. And the Slate parenting experts say that kids over the age of four probably shouldn't get the buff view of the 'rents, because it's confusing. Maybe traumatically so. Especially if you are Freudian.

I'm no exhibitionist and I'm not righteously earthy and naked: I'm just not a very modest person (hence being a blogger). I don't change under a towel at the gym. Sometimes I forget to close the curtains at home. And I'm famous for leaving bathroom doors open, to my family's chagrin, though there are definitely loo activities I don't make others privy to. My sister has seen me naked, as have most of my female friends. So I guess I haven't thought much at all about changing my clothes in front of my girl, or letting her jump in the shower with me. We've talked about privacy in some things like masturbation, and I'd certainly never let her witness anything remotely sexual. But nakedness? Um, guilty. Sorry, it just doesn't weird me out, and more importantly, she's never expressed anything approaching discomfort with it so far, though now I'm sure I'll be hypersensitive to that.

I was raised to be freaked out by nudity but it didn't stick, and I suppose on some level I have assumed that the problem isn't so much the skin-showing, but more when parents are themselves uncomfortable and the kids pick up on it and internalize it. That's my amateur psychology/concerned justification for the day. Because while I'm a little bewildered by the social rules about skin-showing, I'd never, ever wanna do anything that would hurt my sweet girl.

So whaddya do? Stop all parental nakedness at age three? Explain why? Or wait until the kid makes it clear they don't wanna see that, or until it just feels like time to stop? Or say to hell with clothes and be nude forever? And by the way, what does this mean for breastfeeding in front of the older sibs?

Kids And Naked Pictures on the Internet

Kelly Mills — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 18:08:00 GMT

One big media topic of late is the debate over teens and women posting naked pictures on the internet. Why, do a google search for "naked pictures internet" and...um, scratch that. While some of the coverage, especially after the discovery of naked photos of a certain "High School Musical" star, centers on the concern that children will see these photos, others are lambasting the way many women and teens post these photos themselves, asserting that this self-objectification will result in women being treated as sex objects.

Let's take both things as they relate to kids. I'm not particularly hysterical when it comes to the idea that my child might see nudity, and so I guess the fact that there's more nakedness on the internet than before doesn't worry me too much. But then there's the idea of teens posting pictures of themselves, and whether or not that's a problem or if it will just become so common that no one will bat an eye after a while--like we'll all have nude photos of ourselves on Facebook. And here's where we get into the debate that Jezebel has been covering, the "women and girls promoting themselves as sex objects" idea.

As I read about things like the lad mag site Nuts.com, where women send in topless photos of themselves to be voted on in a feature called "Assess my Breasts" I get completely skeeved out by the idea that teen girls (and grown women) would choose to do this. There's a fine line between "empowered sexuality" and "exploited sexuality," like in the MILF dilemma, but this one clearly has crossed over. I detest the idea that teenagers would go the sex-doll route because teenagers are so vulnerable, and I shudder to think of them trying to get something from an online boob ranking or by garnering page hits for a revealing picture.

It's not the nakedness that bothers me, it's the hungry search for validation, and looking for validation is kind of inherent to adolescence (or at least it was to mine.) Are we women setting an example for our teenage girls by being so stripper-pole and "I'm hot"? I don't think this is a black-and-white issue, and frankly, I'm leery of blaming women, but I do believe the difference is less about whether a nipple is covered and more about who is in control. And I think there are places in which it's hard for any of us to know the latter.