Strollerderby : obama

Parents Blame Obama for Field Trip Snafu

JeanneSager — Sat, 23 May 2009 18:01:00 GMT

When in doubt, blame the president. Hey, it works for folks on swine flu, the economy and apparently for parents from Stafford County, Va. The parents of kindergartners slated for a tour of the White House who were turned away after arriving more than an hour late for their visit are blasting President Barack Obama for not being a man of the people.

The parents of kids from Conway Elementary School told NBC that their kids arrived ten minutes late for a tour of the White House that cost parents $20 per child. But staff at the president's home say the buses pulled in a full hour late, and they'd held the gates for them that long - fifteen minutes longer than they usually allow for late guests.

With an impending visit by members of the Pittsburgh Steelers that day (a visit during which White House staff and the football players put together care packages for the Wounded Warriors program for injured service members, by the way), the White House couldn't accomodate the tour.

The White House staff were the folks who would have had to lead the tour. The same staff who had to prepare for another scheduled visit that day, and in a place that runs like a well-oiled machine (in part because of security issues not faced by many other places on this planet), that's their JOB. But apparently they were supposed to ignore that and just let the kids in.

Said parent chaperone Paty Stine: "Here we have President Obama and his administration saying, 'Here we are for the common, middle class people,' and here he is not letting 150 5- and 6-year-olds into the White House because he’s throwing a lunch for a bunch of grown millionaires."

Because this was the president himself out there telling kids "you can't come in, nanny, nanny, boo boo!" The president who conspired to have Beltway traffic keep the kids from arriving at their destination at the appointed hour. Not to mention the president who could think of nothing better to do that day then rearrange his leader of the free world schedule just because someone didn't plan a cushion into a trip in (infamously nightmarish) D.C. traffic.

Got that? It's the president's fault.

Oh, and that president, by the way? Released a statement saying he and wife Michelle would like to see the trip rescheduled because they feel badly that the children were disappointed. But the kids, er, parents have apparently taken their marbles and run home. They told NBC the end of the school year is fast approaching, and they can't see how they can reschedule.

If your kids' bus arrived at a museum an hour late, would you blame the museum director for not letting them in? What if they showed up at a water park an hour late? A theater? How about blaming the school here folks.

Image: NBC (that Steelers visit)

via Gawker

Is it a Lucky Boy Who Dates Obama's Daughter?

JeanneSager — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:24:00 GMT

The president is nervous.

Not about the economy (well, probably) or swine flu (OK, maybe that too).

But President Barack Obama is a dad after all, and he can't help but think about what will happen when daughters Sasha and Malia start dating.

Can you blame him? I wrote a piece a few months ago about Jamie Foxx stressing about his daughter dating and earned a ration of comments about my need to buy into patriarchical nonsense. But come on, folks, dads worry about their daughters. Heck, I worry about my daughter!

So why is it so inappropriate for dads to stress about the day their daughter brings a boy home?

The president told a reporter recently, "dating I think will be an issue because I have men with guns surrounding them at all times, which I'm perfectly happy with, but they may feel differently about it."

He was laughing when we said it, and minus the guns, I can her it coming out of the mouth of almost any dad I know. Those poor, poor prospective suitors.

Dating is a fun time for kids, but with hormones high on both sides, it's wrought with challenges. Broken hearts. Nights spent crying in bed because he didn't call when he said he would (and it doesn't make it much better that he simply forgot because that's what teenagers DO!). It isn't just a "Ohmigod, sex," thought that runs through a parents' mind when they think about their kids dating. We don't want them to get hurt.

And yeah, there's the sex thing too. None of us want to be grandparents tomorrow. And we remember what it's like to be in lust, right? We can't tell our kids WHEN to have sex, how or where. But we can worry about protecting their hearts and their bodies.

And let's face it, dads with daughters have an especial worry chiefly because they know what HE is thinking (or at least have an inkling of it). When my husband gets a look on his face about our daughter's little boyfriends, I don't worry that he's spending too much time thinking up ways to exert his patriarchical thumb over her femininity. He's just a dad who doesn't want his daughter to get hurt.

He may not be surrounded by guys with guns and access to his FBI file, but let me put it this way - the boy who messes with our daughter is no luckier than the boy who has to come face to face with the leader of the free world on prom night.

Image: DenverPost

Should Healthcare Reform Start in the Maternity Ward?

Madeline Holler — Tue, 19 May 2009 18:01:00 GMT

While the Obama administration tries to hammer out healthcare reform -- one based, necessarily, on reducing costs -- surely (SURELY!) they are taking a hard look at childbirth in the U.S.

According to a 2008 report from the think tank Childbirth Connections, pregnancy is the most expensive condition for private insurers and Medicaid.

A recent article in the LA Times business (!) section puts together numbers that insurance companies and some doctors are starting to look at, as the former attempts to lower its costs and the latter attempts to improve outcomes.

Ahh, but what a thorny issue for a president to become involved in!

First, the surprises:

Childbirth is the No. 1 reason for hospital admission in the U.S.

Childbirth accounts for $79 billion in hospital charges alone of the nation's $2.4 trillion annual healthcare expenditures.

Cesarean sections are the most common surgery in the U.S.

Though one-third of all U.S. births are c-sections, rates among hospitals have mind-boggling variation. Among California hospitals, the c-section rate can be anywhere from 16 percent to 62 percent.

All those surgeries cost a fortune -- at an average of $4,500 for a c-section, that's twice as much as a vaginal birth in the hospital. For the privately insured, that number reaches an average of $13,000 for uncomplicated sections.

All these c-sections haven't improved outcomes. In fact, maternal deaths have risen since 2002.

Also, 48 percent of newborns admitted to neonatal intensive care units were from scheduled deliveries -- sections or inductions -- many of them before 39 weeks.

Miscalculated dates for inductions intended for 39 weeks gestation are also sending a growing number of newborns to the NICU until they can breathe on their own.

From the LA Times:

"We're going in the wrong direction," said Dr. Roger A. Rosenblatt, a University of Washington professor of family medicine who has written about what he calls the "perinatal paradox," in which more intervention, such as cesareans, is linked with declining outcomes, such as neonatal intensive care admissions. Maternity care, he said, "is a microcosm of the entire medical enterprise."

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Photo: LA Times

Morning News - Government Issues New Fuel Standards

Brett Singer — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:00:00 GMT

In an effort to reduce automobile emissions, the Obama administration is planning to issue "a new national standard for cars and light trucks that incorporates California’s tough auto-emission rules." The President will likely announce these new rules today (Tuesday). The New York Times says that "As a result, cars and light trucks sold in the United States will be roughly 30 percent cleaner and more fuel-efficient by 2016." No one will have any money to buy them, of course. Well, maybe by 2016 we will.

Mel Gibson's girlfriend (not to be confused with his wife) has posed in lingerie. The New York Post has photos. Oh, and get this -- she's pregnant! (A commenter at the Daily News' web site says "mazel tov!" which is, frankly, hilarious.) Ah, Mel. How's it going, you anti-semitic hypocrite? Oops, did I say that out loud?

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu wants to get peace talks with the Palestinians back on track. BUT he won't endorse a Palestinian state. Bibi (that's Netanyahu's nickname, I didn't make it up) was at the White House to chat with President Obama.

You know what's great about religious people? They're so tolerant. Like Charlotte Allen, who wrote the following in the Los Angeles Times: "I can't stand atheists -- but it's not because they don't believe in God. It's because they're crashing bores." Why do I think that Charlotte would be the first to shout "discrimination" if anyone said something against Christians? Feh.

Apparently Angelina Jolie is all angry at Madonna for trying to adopt another Malawian child. Assuming this is true, I have a question for Ms. Jolie -- when did you become the queen of the world? “Angie sees what she and Brad Pitt do as being about saving a child, but she thinks Madonna does it for publicity," an "insider" told Us Weekly. I really do wonder if these "insiders" and "sources close to the star" actually exist. Can gossip magazines just make stuff up like that? Even if they can, isn't it unbelieveably tacky? I know, dumb question.

File this one under "for what it's worth": Next time bloggers get accused of sensationalist journalism, let us remember how the news of Mitchell Weiner's death was reported here on Babble. Allow me to quote myself: CNN reports that a "New York middle school assistant principal who was hospitalized with the H1N1 virus died Sunday. BUT he might not have died of swine flu. Compare that to the New York Post: yesterday's front page headline was "SWINE DEATH." But if you bothered to read the story, the second paragraph said "Complications besides the virus likely played a part in Mitchell Wiener's death." Even the usually sober Bloomberg News went with "New York Has First Swine Flu Death." They quoted a hospital spokesperson as saying that "Wiener had swine flu and no other pre-existing medical conditions that the hospital knows of." BUT then CNN reported the following: "An assistant principal who died after being hospitalized with the H1N1 virus did have an underlying condition, the New York City's health commissioner said Monday." So who is the more responsible reporter? That would be ME. The blogger with no resources other than my rapier wit and hands that are either typing or changing a stinky diaper. HA! Take that mainstream media!

Finally, Woody Allen won $5 million from American Apparel. The Woodster sued the clothier with the creepy ads because they used his image without first getting permission. I'm no fan of Allen's personal life, but in this case he was right and I'm glad he won. I still wish he hadn't, you know, married his own daughter. But we're none of us perfect, I suppose.

Image: Amazon

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Morning News - Astronauts Watch Star Trek In Space

Brett Singer — Mon, 18 May 2009 02:01:00 GMT

You are either tired of hearing me talking about "Star Trek", or you can't get enough of it. It's like Kirk vs. Spock in "The Apple", a classic episode of the original series. Actually, it's not really like that very much at all, but saying that it was allowed me to get in another "Trek" mention. Sorry.

Anyway, even if you don't care about "Star Trek", you may still think that this is cool -- Real Live Astronauts are Watching ‘Star Trek’ in Outer Space - Right Now. Actually, it happened on Friday, but perhaps due to a singularity created by red matter, it's possible that the astroanuts are, in fact, watching the movie as you read this. Unlikely. But possible.

Moving on to a topic I don't really understand, how about some international economic news? The Motley Fool tells us Why China's Stimulus Plan Will Change the World. Um, OK. Remember when you thought putting 20 bucks a week into your savings account was a solid method of planning for the future?

Barack Obama spoke at Notre Dame, which was a big deal because he is pro-choice. MSNBC says that he called "for 'fair-minded' abortion debate." So they booed him. Not everybody, of course.

David Geffen may want to buy the New York Times. I hope someone does. The idea of the Times going under is something I have trouble with. It's not just the paper, it's the reporters behind it. Sure, they may have made mistakes. But it's a great institution that should live on. So if selling it to a massively successful music and movie mogul is the way to do that, I say "whoo-hoo."

Swine flu, or H1N1, is still here. CNN reports that a "New York middle school assistant principal who was hospitalized with the H1N1 virus died Sunday. BUT he might not have died of swine flu. They won't tell us. Fun. Keep sanitizing the children, and yourself.

David Wells, who has both pitched a perfect game and attacked someone at a diner while drunk (allegedly), says that any home runs that Alex Rodriguez -- aka "The Rod" -- hit while he was taking steroids shouldn't count. Wells was a great pitcher when he was sober (allegedly) but he's got a big mouth. I never liked The Rod, but Wells just rubs me the wrong way.

OK, getting back to movie news, "Angels & Demons" took the number one spot at the box office this week with $48 million, despite generally bad reviews and a complete lack of facial expressions from Tom Hanks. "Star Trek" was close behind ( like a Klingon Bird of Prey) with $43 million, and "Wolverine" dropped to third with only $14.8 million. I saw "Anvil! The Story of Anvil" this weekend, mostly beacuse it was playing nearby at a convenient time. It wasn't as good as it should have been. It's sort of a real-life "This Is Spinal Tap", except that when you watch actual 50-year-olds who never made it in the music business still trying to make it, it can get a little depressing. Also, the film itself was too long (even though it was only 90 minutes) and didn't dig deep enough to hold my interest. Oh well. At least I got to see a movie in a theater with my wife, which happens far too infrequently. And the sushi we had before the film was really good. So there's that.

More tomorrow...

Image: Wikipedia

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Morning News: Stress, Spending, and Suspects

Amy Kuras — Fri, 08 May 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Good morning! So, remember how yesterday I told you those wildfires in California were not so bad? Yeah, that’s changed. Strong winds have strengthened the fire, which has now scorched 2700 acres, destroyed or damaged 75 homes, and injured 10 firefighters. About 12,000 people have been forced out their homes by the blaze.

Results of the “stress tests” conducted on the nation’s banks by the Obama administration found that nine of the biggest received a clean bill of health, but that the rest could need as much as $75 billion in capital to survive the recession.

Banks in trouble include Bank of America, GMAC (the finance arm of General Motors, which isn’t doing too well itself), Citigroup, and Wells Fargo. The New York Times story linked here has a staggering sentence: “Under regulators’ worst-case assumptions, the 19 banks might suffer $600 billion in losses through 2010, on top of the hundreds of billions that have already vaporized in this financial crisis. About 9 percent of all loans might sour — a figure that is even higher than it was during the Great Depression. One in five credit card loans could go unpaid, more than double the typical loss rate. Approximately one in 10 mortgages could sour.”

The Obama administration announced the finer points of its budget yesterday as well, and it includes a whopping one half of one percent in spending cuts. Spending on defense and housing would rise.

And finally, students (and their parents) at Wesleyan University in Connecticut are breathing a little easier now that police arrested Stephen P. Morgan at a convenience store, after he saw his picture in the paper and asked the clerk to call police. Morgan is suspected of stalking and killing student Johanna Justin-Jinich while she worked at a campus bookstore. He wore a disguise during the shooting and thus was bale to evade police, even though the stopped and questioned him after the shooting. The university kept students indoors for two days and even delivered box lunches to dorms while the manhunt for Morgan continued.

Why Swine Flu is Bad for the Economy

JeanneSager — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:32:00 GMT

Swine flu could have a devastating affect on working families, and not a single member of the family has to get sick to do it.

School closures are already happening around the country, and President Obama has warned many more may happen in the coming weeks. He's suggested we set up contingency plans for daycare, but here's the rub: daycare centers are being advised not to take in kids from the schools where the outbreaks are occurring - because they might will make the spread even more dangerous (especially for the younger kids who are regulars at the centers).

So what are parents to do? Stay home with their kids?

They're federally protected by the family medical leave act to do so (as long as they haven't already used up their twelve weeks alloted FMLA time this year for other family emergencies). But there's no provision to ensure parents are paid to do so. And there's no provision for employers to make up for the loss in productivity.

In other words? Swine flu isn't just affecting the tourism industry and the pork industry. It could well hurt the economy as a whole, and lower income families specifically.

With other school closings (which I have, at times, advocated for), there is generally advanced warning. With this, there is no clue what schools might close and when. With other closings there's also rarely a reason for daycares to keep kids out - if anything, vacations help the daycare industry because there's an influx of kids and their paying parents.

So what can parents do? Call other parents. Figure out a playdate schedule for a few days so your two kids can play together while one parent works, then switch off the next day. At the very least, it will lessen the number of days out of work for you. Find a neighbor who is unemployed because of the other economic issues and see if they'll watch your kids (chances are, they won't cost as much as a traditional daycare anyway, especially if you're handing them cash off the books).

If my daughter's nursery school closes down, I'll have to do my own scrambling, but I can't say I blame school officials. The first superintendent to leave a school open and watch a child die is going to face one heck of a lawsuit.

Image:PBS

Ty Tries Again. Makes Bo -The First Dog Doll

SunnyChanel — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” This is the mantra that toymaker Ty must be repeating Ad nauseam in their attempt to cash in on the Obama families fame. Ty, the company that brought the world the Beanie Baby, recently released their Bo – The First Dog doll. They had recently tried to market a “Marvelous Malia” and “Sweet Sasha” Beanie Baby dolls inspired by the Obama girls, but the company ceased production after the First Lady complained.The Malia and Sasha dolls that did manage to make it out into the world are a very hot commodity on eBay.

Bo - The First Dog doll is based on the Portuguese Water Dog recently acquired by the Obamas. This plush representation of Bo hit the market on April 16th and sold out within hours. But in a move made to perhaps not incur the wrath of the white house, Ty are donating a portion of the proceeds of the sales of the dolls to be given to animal shelters. You can check out the REAL Bo in action here.

Do you think that it makes it okay to cash in on the Obamas since they are giving somehting back?

Kids Don't Pay Taxes: Get Them Out of Tea Parties

JeanneSager — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 16:34:00 GMT

The beauty of living in America: every single one of those tea parties was allowed to happen this week. I may not agree with them, and I may have laughed hysterically at the use of the word teabagging, but I respect the "partiers" right to protest.

But when you give your kid a sign that says "We Work. We Pay Taxes. We Pay a Mortgage. No More Bailouts," you've crossed a line.

Because your kid doesn't do any of the above. At least not the kid in this picture, who looks like he's about eight . . . maybe twelve at the most? Legally, he can't get his working papers for at least another two years, and if you're sending him out to a job so he can pay your mortgage, you could be facing jailtime.

There was a large outcry by the right wing media back around election time that liberals were hyping their kids up into a frenzy over Obama, and accusations that a legion of us were brainwashing our kids (remember the Bye, Bye Bush video?). Hello, pot, we'd like you to meet your kettle. It is ink black.

Because a collection of pictures of children "protesting" at Tea Parties around the country collected by the Huffington Post shows a lot of parents making a mockery of their own cause. You have every right to be angry about your taxes, folks. But handing your kid a sign that claims they work and pay a mortgage does what? Shows you're willing to lie to make a point.

How about a sign that says "We Will Not Go Quietly Into the Socialist Night" held by a kid who looks to be about four? Think a four-year-old has that kind of grasp on Dylan? Or on economic theory? I don't think so.

There are a few in there that didn't bother me as much. The little girl holding a sign that shows "Democrat" and "Republican" crossed out, followed by "We the People." That's something I'd get behind teaching my kid - bipartisanship. Even the little kids holding signs about the future, reminders not to spend their future, were at least age-appropriate commentary.

So protest. Take your kids along so they get a sense of the beauty of our country's protection of free speech and how important it is for them to get involved in the political process. But how about trying for a little truth in advertising?

Image: HuffingtonPost

Obama Girls Meet the Easter Waterhound

JeanneSager — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 18:14:00 GMT

Charlie Brown had the Easter Beagle. Sasha and Malia Obama have the Easter Waterhound.

The president's daughters met their new puppy this weekend, just in time to ring in the Easter holiday by hiding their chocolate from him!

The dog will come home to the White House on Tuesday, but he's already got a name - Bo, the same as the girls' cousins' cat, and in honor of Michelle Obama's dad, whose nickname was Diddley.

Michelle had promised the dog would come home in April earlier this year when she released the news that they'd settled on a Portuguese waterdog, a pup that won't stir up Malia's allergies to pet dander.

It's not technically an Easter present - after all, Dad made the announcement that a pet was promised back in November - but the timing means the girls will probably always remember this Easter. It's a holiday that is often associated with getting kids bunnies and chicks (something most animal welfare officials advise against, because the kids soon tire of their new friends and all the work they entail). Have you ever considered Easter a pet-giving holiday?

Image: NY Daily News

Kid to Malia Obama: Save my Dad

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Kid to Malia Obama: Save my Dad

JeanneSager — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:27:00 GMT

His letters to her father weren't working, so a Brooklyn fifth grader set his sights on President Barack Obama's daughter, ten-year-old Malia.

Tween to tween, child to child, Chigozie Okorie asked President Obama's eldest daughter to help keep his father from being deported to Nigeria.

The letter, handwritten by the fifth grader, begs Malia to bend her father's ear on behalf of Okorie's dad, a Nigerian immigrant who spent eighteen months in prison twenty years ago on drug charges (he was the driver for a heroin ring in 1989). Chibueze Okorie, now forty-seven and a respected member of his Brooklyn community, where he is a minister who works with prisoners to help them re-enter society at the end of their sentences.

A federal law passed in 1996 targets all immigrants who have commited crimes for deportation - no matter the severity of the crime, no matter their current status. Okorie's name came up during the crackdown on illegal immigrants under President George W. Bush. His request for a pardon made big news last year when a pardon lawyer wrote to then-President Bush "This might sound racist, but [the applicant] is about as honest as you could expect for a Nigerian. Unfortunately, that's not very honest." The lawyer, Roger Adams, was canned for his racist remarks, but Bush took his advice - he denied Okorie's request for clemency.

Now Okorie is facing imminent deportation - and separation from his ten-year-old son, a United States citizen, after more than two decades of living in here and becoming a productive member of society. His son's letter congratulates Malia Obama on her father's election as president and notes that he's happy she and her sister have found a new school. He hopes their mom will have time to help them with their homework like his father does with him.

The senor Okorie is hoping that the appeal of a child to a father will help his cause. "A good father will understand the need of his child," he told the NY Daily News. "It is the need of my son to see me get the pardon so that I can be free to continue to take care of him."

I admit a bias here - my biggest gripe with the plight of illegal immigrants is the word "illegal." Regardless of what kind of life you are escaping, if you came here illegally, you still have that abuse of the law to contend with - and face. If they came here legally, however, I don't see why the government can't work with them - especially when there are children involved. And Chigozie Okorie did come here legally. He's hit his stumbling blocks, but he's more than made up for his mistakes. Is there any legally born American who can say they've never made a mistake? Is there any legally born American who can say they would take being separated from their child lying down?

I don't know that it's up to Malia Obama to speak to her dad about this; I'd hope for the children's sake that the Obamas keep their girls separate from these kinds of letters - if only because they're so young and explaining all of these issues is so complex. But I'd hope the president himself gets hold of this letter and takes a look at all the issues, and thinks not just as president but as a parent.

Image: NY Daily News

What They're Babbling About: It's All Relative

JeanneSager — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:26:00 GMT

One of the best things about blogging are the varied looks at similar subjects in the news every week - just adding more to the conversation. Take a look at how we're related to everyone else in the blogosphere this week - and how we're not - in this week's What They're Babbling About.

After reading Hannah's post this week about the black girls showing preference for white baby dolls, a review of the new book "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla" is apropos. The book on raising black and multiracial children gets the full treatment at The Anti-Racist Parent.

Always bragging about your family tree that goes back to someone great? The joke was on you this week with Familylink.com's April Fool's e-mail claiming addressees had been confirmed as relatives of President Obama. - Salt Lake Tribune

Madeline's look at the names that aren't coming back went hand-in-hand with the April Fool's Name post by The Name Lady this week. Can you spot the fake? - ParentDish

I shared the secrets to the childcare tax credit . . . and Lil Sugar's got a question for you - do you pay your nanny taxes? - Lil Sugar

Shannon helped us hop into spring with her Peep show - now find out what it's like to pull a Mythbusters on Peeps. - CafeMom

Image: PeepResearch

Half of Black Girls Think White Skin is Prettier

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:20:00 GMT

A fascinating and poignant study conducted on Good Morning America today shows how race relations in the U.S. have evolved in the last 70 years—and officially proves that Barack Obama’s election to the White House has not wiped racism off the face of the earth (sorry, Steve Colbert, but you still have to pretend to like Spike Lee movies).

In a recreation of a 1940s experiment, black children were given two dolls, identical except for their skin color. In the original experiment—which was used in the arguments for Brown v. Board of Education—63 percent of African American kids say they would rather play with the white doll because it was “nicer” than the black doll. Heart-wrenchingly, 44 percent of black kids said they felt that the white doll looked most like them.

The 19 children between the ages of 5 and 9 who were interviewed on Good Morning America had more encouraging, though still problematic, responses. 88 percent said they looked most like the black doll, while 42 percent would prefer to play with the black doll (compared with 32 percent who chose the white doll and 26 percent who didn’t want to play with either one).

When asked which doll was prettier (a question added by Good Morning America to reflect our appearance-obsessed times), every single boy said they thought the dolls were equally pretty. But disturbingly, 47 percent of girls said the white doll was prettier. According to sociologist Julius Wilson, "Black boys are more confident. Black girls don't feel that they enjoy the respect and admiration that black boys do." This is not going to change overnight, no matter how many adorable African American girls are in the White House.

That’s not to say that these kids weren’t affected by Obama’s presidency. “Barack Obama was, like, my ideal,” one little girl said. “He’s persevered and he’s gone through so much and I think since he’s done it, I can do it, too.”

The video (which ABC unfortunately won’t let me post here) is well worth watching to hear the kids’ full responses, which are tearjerkers of both the bitter and the sweet variety. Plus, one little girl makes a comment about the white doll’s “beady eyes” that is a total crackup.

Photo: The Situationist

Congress: End Amber Alerts by 2010, MicroChip Newborns

JeanneSager — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:26:00 GMT

After news that an Amber Alert was cancelled last week when a missing child miraculously walked in her front door, is it any surprise that Congress is taking seriously the toll that helicopter parents are putting on law enforcement with their overreactions?

Congress has put out the call for all newborns born in American hospitals to be microchipped, beginning July 1, 2010. The simple process can be done in the hospital nursery by pediatricians, who will then log the newborn's vital statistics into a national database linked to the FBI for all law enforcement to access. When an officer encounters a child, he will be able to use a scanner to immediately determine if this is the missing child in question.

Funds to outfit the hospitals with the proper equipment, similar to those used in most veterinary offices, and to provide police with scanners will come from President Obama's latest stimulus bill.

Children born before that date are grandfathered - so to speak - but parents will have the option of taking their children to their local hospitals to have the chips implanted just under the skin in a quick outpatient procedure. The chips will be placed near the shoulder for easy access by the scanners, but because of their very small size, there should be no lasting scars on a child's skin.

Will you be taking Junior in?

Image: Zazzle

Morning News - Spring Break Broken?

Brett Singer — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Good morning parents and anyone else who happens to be reading this! (We don't want anyone to feel left out.)

The New York Times says that genre films are back, because DVD sales are down and producers want to see some action at the box office. And some people are trying to say that since "Watchmen" isn't doing Spider-like business, that means superhero movies are past their sell date. Um, no. They're not. Memo to producers: I promise you that I will go see almost any superhero movie you release. OK? I'll even bring a couple of friends. So get cracking!

Six Flags Over Texas had record earnings this Spring Break week. Park president Steve Martindale said, "Our guests recognize that Six Flags Over Texas is the ideal place to spend quality time with family and get the biggest bang for their hard-earned dollars." Humble. On the other hand, "Beheadings in Mexico, Mom and Dad's busted bank account and the rise of the booze-free break" caused a drop in traditionally bacchanalian Spring Break festivities. Maybe they were all at Six Flag Texas, where, as far as we know, there has never been a beheading. Maybe some puking on the Tilt-A-Whirl. But that's all.

Some advice for what to do with your 529 college savings plan. See, my advice is to tell your children it's time to learn a trade.

Meghan McCain says that Obama might be on the verge of being "overexposed." As opposed to Meghan, who the world can't get enough of. To be fair, Meghan actually had some nice things to say about the President, and her overexposure comment referred to the fact that President Obama risks alienating his older constituents, since younger people -- like Meghan -- are the Twitter/YouTube/Facebook Generation, and they like exposure. Oh, and she doesn't want her country or President to fail. Because she loves her country. So now ya know. Meghan talks like a Valley Girl but don't hold that against her.

Qualcomm, maker of mobile phone chipsets and an email program that no one uses, is behind the technology for a new gaming console called the Zeebo. Zeebo's hardware is old school, with "technological capability…somewhere between that of the original PlayStation [and] the PlayStation 2." You know, about 10 years old. But it uses only a teeny amount of electricity, and the games will be downloaded via a cellular network rather than sold on disks and cartridges. Also, it's starting in Brazil, where the Sega Mega Drive (aka Genesis) is still popular. So maybe this will work. Personally, I prefer the older games, and my kids like them as well. So Zeebo could be on to something.

BestBuy is being sued over its Price Matching policy. See if you can follow this logic: "Best Buy promotes a 'price match guarantee'. Best Buy guarantees that it will match any local competitor's lower price and if a customer has already purchased the product, Best Buy will refund the price difference, plus an additional 10% of that difference. The suit alleges that Best Buy has a policy and/or practice of not honoring its 'price match guarantee' when customers request that Best Buy match a local competitor's lower price." So it may not, in fact, be the, um, best buy around. Or something. As a commenter on Engadget put it, "Wal-mart actually does not sell any walls." You know, there are good lawyers out there, but these are the ones that make people think otherwise.

OK, so "Race to Witch Mountain"? Really bad. I can't remember any much about the original films, but I don't think they had quite as many guns or creepy "24"-style government agencies. I would give it a D, but I'll bump that up to a C+ because it was 88 minutes, and we saw it on a rainy day and the theater was dry. Not recommended for parents, but as a distraction agent for children it served its purpose. It was a bit loud and violent; I don't mind movie violence, but in this case it seemed gratuitous and overdone. Also, The Rock. He's no Ah-nuld, but I have to admit that he doesn't really bother me as much as he used to. And Carla Gugino is always nice to look at. OK, maybe a D-, and a C for the fact that it wasn't too long and was shown indoors.

That's all for today -- go Gonzaga! (Yes, I know nothing about college basketball. Oh well.)

Image: Nerdlike.com

UPDATE - Josef Fritzl Sentenced To Life In Psychiatric Institution

Letting Kids See Watchmen

Morning News - Money Money Money

Roll Your Kids Over to the White House for Easter

JeanneSager — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 20:39:00 GMT

Get ready, get set, because for the first time ever, White House Easter Egg Roll tickets are available to you and me.

The Obama administration loves them some Internet (in case you hadn't noticed), and they've set up the first-ever online lottery for families of kids under ten to get their mitts on tickets to the world-famous Easter egg roll.

In the past, tickets were only distributed to people in Washington on the Saturday before the roll (maybe to make up for the fact that the poor residents have to live with politicians all day?), but the lottery which will open Thursday at a White House sponsored site is national.

Tens of thousands will be available for people to show up on the White House lawn and get their roll on with the First Family on April 13. Click here to get your chance.

If you won, would you take the kids on the road?

Image: WTOP News

Morning News - The Obama Bracket

Brett Singer — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Monday Monday… Can't trust that day…

Actually, you kind of can trust Monday. It's fairly reliable in that it always comes after Sunday. I don't think that's what Mama Cass and Co. were talking about, but then again, it was the 60's, so who knows?

Anyone make an NCAA bracket? I did. I know nothing about college basketball, and my picks are proving it, especially in the Midwest Conference. At least there's no money at stake for me. President Obama made one, which is being resoundingly mocked by many. Some were upset that he even took the time to make his picks, which is hilarious if you consider the amount of vacation time that former President Bush took while in office. (I know, it's a cliché, but it happens to be true.) Taking a few minutes to fill out a bracket is a pleasant distraction from the day's events for everyone, Leaders of the Free World included. If people want to complain about Obama's policies, fine, but his bracket? Let it go.

Damn those blasphemy laws -- a Pennsylvania man tried to register a limited liability company called I Choose Hell Productions, LLC but was told he had to pick another name because PA has an anti-blasphemy law on the books preventing such things. The laws were common the 19th century, but this one was enacted in 1977 when someone tried to register God Damn Gun Shop. The ACLU is suing the state. Heh heh. God Damn Gun Shop... (NYT)

A revival of "West Side Story" opened on Broadway with some of the songs translated into Spanish. Interesting idea but I can't imagine that makes the songs better. Frank Scheck of the Hollywood Reporter saw the show and agrees, as did many other critics. (Note: I haven't seen this production. I'll probably stick with the movie.)

The post office is in trouble. They lost almost 400 million dollars last quarter and are offering early retirement to 150,000 employees, in addition to staff cutbacks and location closures. Not enough people mailing letters I guess.

Susan MacDougal (remember her?) can't have the transcript of her own testimony in the Whitewater trial. She was hoping to use it for a novel or screenplay. Whitewater looks pretty damn tame compared to all the nonsense going on these days.

Some governors, including Nevada's Jim Gibbons, are turning down federal money to beef up their unemployment funds because they don't like the 'strings' that are attached. The thing is, those strings disappear when the federal cash runs out. (This according to a New York Times editorial.) Nevada will run out of unemployment money by the end of the year if they don't take the government cheese. (Nose, you don't mind if I cut you off to spite my face, do you? Cool, thanks.) You can't play games like this when people are out of work. And unemployment money gets taken out of your check every week for a reason. You get it back if you're unemployed. Hence the name. So it's not unreasonable for people to expect to receive that money if they lose their jobs. In other Republican Governor news, Alaska's Sarah Palin (perhaps you've heard of her?) is only accepting Federal money for projects that are truly "shovel ready." Alaska Democrats are not happy, saying that she is playing politics with state residents. There's definitely a shovel needed for what's coming out of the mouths of both Republicans and Democrats these days, but it's not the kind you use to fix roads.

Eliot Spitzer is talking smack about Andrew Cuomo. Hey! Here's an idea, Spitzy. Shut up. You have no credibility anymore. Sorry. You screwed up. Apologize and go away. Although maybe you can blog for Huffington Post like Gary "Monkey Business" Hart. ("G'head! Follow me! You won't find anything! Wait, you thought I meant that? I was only kidding! Aw, crap…")

Responding to Sheri's comment: I hadn't heard about what the President said on TV, so I looked it up. Seems that while being interviewed by Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, President Obama said of his bowling skills, "It's like the Special Olympics or something." He apologized to the President of the Special Olympics before the show aired. Comments at ABC News' web site range from "who cares?" to "see? I told you he was an idiot." (I'm paraphrasing.) I can't say I agree with those who say that this is somehow on the same scale as other "gaffes" spoken by Republican politicians, or even "gaffes" from Democrats. Personally, I think the President is a little bit too much of a regular guy, at least in the way that he sometimes speaks in public. It was a dumb joke but hardly the worst thing ever. He also invited Special Olympians to the White House to do some bowling. There's one Special Olympic bowler who has three perfect games to his credit, so maybe he can give the Prez some pointers. By the way, Sarah Palin weighed in on the President's comments, because she's not all about politics like some politicians. This issue really effects Alaska, hence her very public reaction. Also: the President of the Special Olympics is Tim Shriver, Maria's brother, and therefore Ah-nuld's brother-in-law. That has nothing to do with anything except that I think it would be fun to have Arnold Schwarzenegger as your brother-in-law. The Governator, by the way, supports Obama's stimulus plan.

Tuesday, Tuesday… I trust that day… Nah, doesn't have the same ring to it. I guess John Phillips knew what he was talking about. See you tomorrow.

Image: WhiteHouse.gov via Washington Post

Morning News - Natasha Richardson Dies (UPDATE - Autopsy Information)

Morning News - March Madness or March Sadness?

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

Open Letter To The Woman Who Pushed Me While I Was Picking Up My Kid

Back to the Third Grade for This 71-Year-Old

They Say: Old School Lice Checks Are All Wrong

UPDATE: Did M.I.A Really Name Her Baby Ickitt?

Why Teens Are Quick to Blame Rihanna

Keep This Kid Away From The Dog

Morning News - iPhone Gets Feature Other Phones Already Have

Brett Singer — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Updating yesterday's Natasha Richardson story: an autopsy reveals that she died of bleeding in the brain and "she might have survived had she received immediate treatment." The thing is, people with this sort of injury typically feel fine at first. So sad.

NBC is launching a show to compete with "American Idol." Simon Cowell probably thinks this is a "horrible" idea. ("Horrible" is one of the words he uses a lot, right?) On "Idol", Alexis Grace went home. She was shocked. Shocked. Why are they always so surprised? I guess you have think you're a major talent to get on TV and sing like that but just once it'd be fun to hear someone say, "Yeah, I suck. It was only a matter of time before I got the boot."

Why is Steve Wozniak on "Dancing With The Stars"? Based on this quote from his website, I guess the reason is because people said he wouldn't be able to do it. I wonder if Apple fans will keep voting for him the way football fans did with Jerry Rice. Woz has definitely been keeping in touch with his audience, accusing "Dancing" producers of rigging the voting in order to goose the ratings, then apologizing, all via his Facebook page. If this keeps up, I might actually have to watch the show.

Speaking of Apple, the new iPhone software will include bleeding edge features like the copying and pasting of text. What's that, your phone has been able to do that for years? Mine too. The iPhone is nifty but certain omitted features prove that Steve Jobs could probably sell water to a drowning Apple fan if it had that logo on it. (Personally, until the iPhone has an actual keyboard, I won't even consider buying one.)

Financial news update: stocks tanked and it wasn't CNBC's fault. Are you happy, Jeff Zucker?

Austrian monster dad Josef Fritzl was sentenced to life in a psych hospital. Life in prison would be better, but even though he could be paroled in 15 years, it's not likely to happen. The speed of the trial was kind of impressive; in the U.S., these things seem to take a lot longer. I'm sure there's a reason for that but I don't know what it is.

And finally, there were a heck of a lot of babies born in 2007. Madeline points out that it wasn't Octomom's fault -- "she only gave birth to one baby that year."

That's all for now. Have a great weekend and we'll see you on Monday.

Image: Woz.org

New Baby Boom

Morning News - March Madness or March Sadness?

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

Morning News - Natasha Richardson Dies (UPDATE - Autopsy Information)

Brett Singer — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Starting on a sad note -- Natasha Richardson has died. UPDATE: according to this AP report, an autopsy revealed that "Richardson died from bleeding in her skull caused by the fall she took on a ski slope...The medical examiner ruled her death an accident, and doctors said she might have survived had she received immediate treatment."

She's one of those actresses that everyone seemed to absolutely adore on and off stage. I saw her perform in 'Cabaret' just before the show opened to rave reviews; she was amazing to watch. An appreciation of her life is here.

Pope Benedict XVI has folks up in arms because, speaking about the AIDS epidemic in Africa, he said, "You can't resolve it with the distribution of condoms. On the contrary, it increases the problem." Cathy Lyn Grossman at USA Today has an intriguing post in their Religion section titled, "Could choosing condoms mean choosing life?" Interesting idea.

The way everyone is carrying about the Jon Stewart / Jim Cramer kerfuffle (and really, what is it if not a kerfuffle?) you would think that their "feud" actually had some effect on the world at large. Or that more than 2.3 million people actually watched it. I'm not saying that's not a good number, but it's not exactly Earth shaking. Anyway, Jeff Zucker, the head honcho of NBC Universal, is all up in Jon Stewart's grill, saying that Jon is like, being unfair and stuff when he blames the financial crisis on CNBC's reporting. (That's not an exact quote; you can read Zucker's full quote here.) The thing is, that's not really what Stewart was saying. To me, the most important line from the interview he did with Cramer was, "It's not a f**king game, man." Cramer seemed to be telling Stewart that it was perfectly OK to say something under the guise of financial advice that wasn't entirely accurate as long as it was entertaining. Frankly, that pisses me of as well. For Stewart to question the worth of a network's reporting is a good thing, or it should be. Disagreeing with him is fine as well. Sing it with me now -- ain't that America, you and me… Also, if Jeff Zucker wants to yell at someone, it should probably be Cramer. He's the one who turned a bit on The Daily Show into something that has dominated news cycles for several days now.

Continuing with financial news, the Fed is doing more things that I don't entirely understand. This time they're buying "long-term U.S. government debt." (Someday someone will explain to me why anyone would want to buy debt.) This causes many things to happen, including wailing and gnashing of teeth. One possible good outcome of whatever-this-is is that mortgage rates will be vewy, vewy low for now, so if you need one, this is a good time to get it. Also on the good news front: fears of economic deflation have decreased! Why? Because the Consumer Price Index rose by .04%! Whoo-hoo! (Disclaimer: If you are getting your financial news from me, stop. Right. Now.)

Last but not least (if you're into college basketball), the NCAA Tournament, aka March Madness, starts today at noon. You can watch every game online at CBSSports.com, which is good for fans who will be stuck in an office all day. Of course, these people should probably be, you know, working. But who are we to judge?

That's all for today, back on Friday. Quick, fill out your bracket!

Image: Famecrawler

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

GMA Tweets Details On Levi Johnston And Son

Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

Oprah Gets It Right On Chris Brown

Natasha Richardson Dead

Morning News - March Madness or March Sadness?

Brett Singer — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Apologies for forgetting St. Patrick's Day yesterday. I could make a culturally insensitive joke and say that I was drunk, but the truth is I just forgot. Apparently everybody was Irish on Tuesday, but today you're back to whatever it is you are the rest of the year.

Speaking of being culturally insensitive, it's a St. Paddy's Day tradition for the current Irish leader to bring the U.S. President a bowl of shamrocks. Faith and begorrah, laddie! Why doesn't he just dress up like the Lucky Charms mascot and dance an Irish jig on the White House lawn?

A group in Boston conducted a survey of local teens and asked them about Chris Brown and Rihanna. The results? Forty-six percent thought the beating Brown allegedly gave Rihanna "was Rihanna's fault, and fifty-two percent said it was both Rihanna and Brown's fault. Fifty-one percent blamed Brown." Wow. This story gets more depressing by the minute. I'm increasingly of the opinion that there are a lot of guys out there who think it's acceptable to hit a woman if she, you know, just doesn't listen or something. Scary thought.

In goofier entertainment news: Wow, Harry Connick Jr. got fat. I know that doesn’t really matter, but women are usually the target of this sort of nonsense, so I thought I'd share a pic of a famous guy who got caught lookin' chunky on the beach.

I'm not sure what it means when Judge Judy makes more sense than most of the people who talk about the state of our world today. It may be a sign of the apocalypse. Granted, anyone can look good next to Larry King, but Judge Judy sounds quite reasonable here.

There's a six-year-old boy out there with a 176 IQ. At that level, shouldn't he be able to move objects with his mind or something? (Oh, and I bet his father was young.) When you see a story like this, do you look at your own kids and say, "Why can't you be that smart?" Yeah, me neither.

February saw an increase in the number of new homes being constructed, aka "housing starts." Here's the headline, which is pretty typical these days: "Housing starts take surprising jump in Feb. / But can gains continue amid all the housing industry's woes?" It’s like giving a child a piece of chocolate cake and then telling him you might have dropped it in the sink. Or that the frosting is actually made with carob. (Remember carob? It was supposed to be healthier than chocolate. I think people stopped using it in the 1970's.) Just once I'd like to get a piece of good news without being told, "hey, it's good, but don't expect it to last."

Alex Rodriguez, whom I refer to as The Rod, has revealed his true talent -- being annoying both on and off the field. I mean, how is it that the highest paid player in baseball isn’t playing and is on the cover of Details magazine with the headline, "A-Rod: Confessions of a Damned Yankee"? Yes, the cover was planned before he had his surgery. But what the hell, dude?

And finally, March Madness has arrived. If you're like me and have no officemates to play with (let's call it March Sadness), you can make a bracket at NYTimes.com and compete against random people for an Amazon Kindle, which is a nice prize. And CNET has a list of several NCAA-related websites to choose from. The tournament starts tomorrow (Thursday March 19), so get your bracket ready if you want to play. It's like the stock market, only more fun and with less sweating.

Image: CNET

Half of Kids Surveyed Think Rihanna Had it Coming

6-Year-Old Boy has 176 I.Q., Bums out Entire Adult Population

GMA Tweets Details On Levi Johnston And Son

Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

Morning News - Watchmen, Wiper Fluid and the World Wide Web

Brett Singer — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:30:00 GMT

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday! (You need to hear that in the voice of a 1980's era Monster Truck radio ad announcer. That reference either makes sense or it doesn't. Apologies if it doesn't.)

Quick comment: I have to say that when I said I would fill in for Madeline for a few days, the last thing I thought I would be writing about was former President George W. Bush. Not that I mind, but it seems strange. I had an item about him yesterday, and there's one today. I'm not looking for them, believe me.

And now -- the news!

Update from Nerdy Movie Land (which, surprisingly, is not located at my house): 'Watchmen' dropped to second place, losing the top spot to 'Race to Witch Mountain.' Proving... nothing, really. Personally, I want 'Watchmen' to do well so that studio executives keep greenlighting superhero movies. So far it's made about $85 million, which is pretty good for two weeks. Unfortunately, there are reports that many people are walking out of the film before it's over, which doesn't really help with that whole word of mouth thing.

The guy who pretty much invented the World Wide Web – Tim Berners-Lee, not Al Gore – once got scammed online when buying a Christmas present. He's also warning people against "website snooping" and talking about keeping your personal data safe. Good idea, Tim, but if even you got scammed, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Campbell's Soup is not planning to cut their prices. Got that? How is this a headline? Seems that the company feels that prices are low enough, and sales are growing anyway. Hence, no price lowering. I repeat -- why tell anyone this? I prefer the organic stuff, myself, and my kids wouldn't eat soup if they were starving, so it doesn't affect me. But if I did eat Campbell's Soup, hearing this might make me NOT buy it. Just saying.

President Barack Obama wants to block bonus payments to AIG execs, and NY State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo wants to know who is getting the money. This is not going to end anytime soon, methinks.

In other financial news, former White House spokeswoman Dana Perino says that her former boss deserves some of the credit for a recent bounce in the stock market. I didn't realize that being a Presidential flack was a lifetime position.

Lindsay Lohan will NOT, repeat NOT, be arrested. C'mon, you know that makes you happy. Her arrest warrant was recalled and she "enroll in a new alcohol education program." TMZ reports that she had a "personality conflict" with the program she was in before. What does that mean, that she wanted to drink while she was there?

The kids who drank the wiper fluid are OK, which is good. I'm still not clear on why this stuff tastes good. Wouldn't that flavoring have to be an additive of some kind? And if it is, why include it? Is it possible that wiper fluid just tastes sweet naturally? That would be, as my son might say, weird.

And finally, Shannon tells us about a new dinosaur, more specifically "a new species of pliosaur." The photo (above) is just flat out cool. Apparently this particular pliosaur was "more powerful than T Rex, with a head twice its size, a set of 12-inch teeth, and a weight of about 45 tons." Yowsa. Show this one to your kids, unless you think it'll give them nightmares. Heck, it might give me nightmares. Look at those teeth...

That's all for today - more tomorrow...

Photo: Guardian

Superman Comic Sells For Over 300k

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

UPDATE - Austrian Incest Dad Pleads Guilty To Some Charges

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

Brett Singer — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Madeline is taking a little time off, so I'll be your Morning Newsperson for awhile. Gosh, I sure wish there was something to talk about. The news is so dull right now... Oh! Wait. My bad. Here we go:

Dick Cheney did an interview with CNN's "State of the Union" where he said that "reversing [Bush administration] anti-terrorism policies endangers Americans." See, if a Democrat said that about a Republican President, there would be an outcry. The former VP also said the Bush administration spent so much money (remember that surplus we used to have?) because "Stuff happens," and discusses the fact that his former boss (George W. Bush, remember him?) did not pardon Scooter Libby. That last one is interesting, I would have thought that Bush would do that. Guess not. There's a meeting it would be fun to be a fly on the wall for. "Dude, I am SO not pardoning Scooter." "Dude! You totally have to!" (Note: I wasn't there, but I bet that's not what they said.)

Some people who are out of work have decided to make their own jobs. The New York Times reports on a few folks who have found their inner entrepreneur, including Alex Andon, who makes jellyfish tanks. Seems that some people will spend big bucks for a nice home for their jellies. Who knew? If you can't make jellyfish tanks (and if not, that's OK, we can't all be good at everything), maybe one of your kids could make a YouTube video asking someone to hire you.

Investigators want to freeze the assets of Ruth Madoff, wife of Bernie. My only question is why did it take them this long to decide to do that?

The space shuttle launched! Um, what's that? You don't care? C'mon, isn't this still a cool thing? I remember being a kid and we were all so stoked whenever there was a launch. I guess it's just not that big a deal anymore. This particular mission sends the Discovery to the International Space Station "to deliver and install the fourth and final pair of solar wings." I don't know what that is, but "solar wings" sounds really cool to me.

Demon dad Josef Fritzl will plead guilty to some charges, but not the ones that carry the really long prison sentences. There will still be a trial, which CNN says will probably last less than a week. We could learn something from those Austrians.

In my day, if a kid made clothes out of duct tape, that meant he was nerdy. Nowadays, it's a contest, with the winner getting $3,000 in scholarship money, provided by Duck brand tape. Tough economic times have increased the number of participants: 25 last year, 80 this year. You can see lots of pics at CNN.com.

Catfight on the catwalk! Or something like that. There was a riot at the tryouts for "America's Next Top Model" in New York City. Clearly this is the result of opening the competition up to women under 5 foot 7. Or this particular crop of "hundreds of hotties in heels" are nuts, no matter how tall they are. Who knows.

And finally, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke says that the recession could -- COULD -- end this year if -- IF -- the government can get the banks to lend money and make the financial markets "work more normally." I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel like a class A moron whenever people start talking about the economy. (Derivatives? What?) So all you finance types: Fix it, OK? Sheesh.

More tomorrow... same Babble time, same Babble channel...

Image: CNN

They Say: Don't Bother With Sleep Wedges

How to Find a Job in This Economy: Let Your Kid on YouTube

Do We All Have a Right to Procreate?

Oprah Gets It Right On Chris Brown

Do We Need to Know How Many Calories Malia and Sasha Consume in a Day?

George W. Bush Visits Texas Elementary School

Photo - Obama Shocked by Schoolkids

Affordable Birth Control: No Longer a Thing of the Past

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 20:30:00 GMT

This week, Obama signed into law a new bill that has restored the old commonsense practice of allowing community clinics and college health centers to sell birth control at lower prices. After the passage of the 2005 Deficit Reduction Act—which made it all but impossible for pharmaceutical companies to sell birth control to clinics at a discount—the price of contraception shot up as much as 10 times a month.

A University of Nevada graduate who fought for the new legislation, known as the Affordable Birth Control Act, wrote in a blog post, "I recall having to decide between paying for groceries or for birth control - decisions no male athlete would ever have to make." As a competitive swimmer, the young woman depended on the pill not only to prevent unplanned pregnancies, but also to regulate her cycle.

Allowing college students and uninsured women access to family planning services simply makes sense. Not only does it save taxpayers money and drastically reduce the number of abortions, but it also gives all women a better chance of becoming happy and responsible members of society.

Photo: Jezebel

Brits Say Michelle Obama Cheaped Out on Gifts

JeanneSager — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:57:00 GMT

Somebody please remind the British press that the world's economy is in the dumps.

Their latest gripe about America? Michelle Obama didn't give "nice enough" gifts to the British prime ministers children. Or, to be precise, the first lady's gifts to Gordon Brown's boys were not as nice as the outfits bestowed on Sasha and Malia Obama by the prime minister's wife.

During her meeting with Sarah Brown, Mrs. Obama apparently handed over two toy models of Marine One, the Presidential helicopter, for the Brown boys, Fraser and John. Yes, toy helicopters for little boys. How dare she? (It should be noted that the Brown children are not the ones acting like prats here.)

Sarah Brown, by the way, went all out with dresses from Top Shop accompanied by matching necklaces and a series of children's books by British authors. Perfectly nice gifts, of course. But does that make them any better than some toy helicopters for little boys? My daughter would LOVE a toy helicopter.

The exact charge from the London Times was that Michelle Obama was "solipsistic" because the models of Marine One rubbed in the Browns' faces that her husband is president of the United States. Er, OK. But he is. And last time I checked, that's WHY Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Obama were exchanging pleasantries. If we're really going to put that spin on it, couldn't it be argued that a selection of British literature is a slam on the American lit the girls are used to? (Not that I'd agree, just playing devil's advocate here). Or perhaps I'm rubbing it in my southern in-laws faces that their son married a Yankee when I bring them jugs of fresh maple syrup from New York to Virginia?

Perhaps the British press could find something better to focus on than the toys given to two little British children by the first lady of the United States. Like, maybe, what their father was in town to discuss?

Image: London Times

What a Typical Family Will Get From the Stimulus Package

Photo - Obama Shocked by Schoolkids

Are Chores Important? The Obamas Say Yes.

A Michelle Obama, Sarah Palin, Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi Preschool - Which Would You Pick?

VIDEO-Obama Bet Daughter She Will Freak When She Meets Nick Jonas

What They're Babbling About: Guilty Pleasures

JeanneSager — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:03:00 GMT

Turns out the "bad parents" of Babble aren't the only ones who love to talk taboos. We've all got our guilty pleasures, does anyone think becoming a parent means they go hide in some closet with that stained onesie they wore home from the hospital and we just can't bear to part with?

Dig in to the dirt with this week's What They're Babbling About:

Attention discount shoppers, Target's got a fan in San Francisco. The reason every parent should fall in line - their return policy lets you say "My toddler decided today she doesn't like it quite as much as yesterday and will now have nothing to do with it. For no reason." Like your kid hasn't done that. - The Poop

The CPSIA is the new law parents love to hate, but there's still a lot to be said about fighting the lead fight. Are we suddenly becoming complacent after years of indignation? The author of Toxic Truth offers an interesting look at lead's scary past. - Beacon Broadside

Are you as in love with the Mom in Chief as we are? The parents at Cookie Mag are - they've got Michelle Watch going on 24/7, as they follow the First Lady's first one hundred days in office - Cookie

I'd love to tell you I remember every second of every moment of my daughter's first one hundred days. Unfortunately, as Sabrina Weill points out, my momnesia's nothing new. At least that's what I think I remember her saying. - Parent Dish

Sometimes I can't remember what about my daughter has me up in arms either - sound familiar? Sounds like I'm not the only parent who can't hang on to her righteous indignation - ParentDish

Image: Cookie