Strollerderby : older mothers

Is "Yesterday" The Right Time to Have a Baby?

Amy Kuras — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:02:00 GMT

Fertility declines after 35.
Is this news to you?

It shouldn’t be – I mean, I was aware of this well before I found myself staring mounting birthdays in the face and still no luck with the baby-having.

Still, the assertion of this fact seems to make lots of infertile women very, very mad. I was reminded of this when I read this letter to the editor from a story that ran in the Ottawa Citizen. A doctor who directs a local fertility clinic responded to an article about an older mother with the line “Women: have your baby yesterday.”

Yikes.

I am of two minds about this: I have PCOS, a condition which causes difficulty conceiving among its other many aspects of suckitude. I was lucky enough to know this before I was remotely ready to have a baby – I was diagnosed at 23 – and it didn’t really change my behavior at all. And I would have been a terrible, terrible mother at 23 and not too much better at 27, when fertility supposed to peak and when I met the man I’d later marry and have kids with.

So on the one hand I take issue with my infertile sisters who get all up in arms when reminded that time does diminish fertility. To my mind, it’s no different than taking up marathon running or competitive swimming at 40. You can do it, and do very well, but the fact is you’re going to have to work harder and devote more time and attention to it because your body is just older.

You’re don’t somehow “deserve” your trouble conceiving because you waited. Life happens. Circumstances happen. Sometimes the ideal partner doesn’t show up until well into your 30s, or doesn’t show up at all and you decide to do this on your own.

But coming out of the mouths of the doctors who are supposed to help us, “have your baby yesterday” sounds an awful lot like blame.

I think it’s something of a copout by reproductive endocrinology to attempt to pin all infertility causes on women waiting too long. Fertility is very poorly understood when the causes aren’t straightforward. I remember feeling very frustrated that few doctors seemed to understand PCOS and the RE we were throwing lots of money at each month couldn’t give me a good answer as to why the clutch of eggs I produced each month on Clomid didn’t result in a baby.

So, telling women “have your baby yesterday” completely ignores the very complex web of emotions, circumstances, maturity, economics and support that makes someone say “now” versus later – not to mention the fact that the two leading causes of female infertility – endometriosis and PCOS – aren’t age related.

Anything to Conceive

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Cindy Chupack tried visualizing sperm with her husband’s face on them. She tried standing on her head. She tried electroacupuncture, which involved attaching spark plugs to the needles. She tried going on vacation with her husband and just enjoying sex for a while, you know, like they used to before they started racing her biological clock. She tried IVF, suppositories, hormone injections.

She tried an all-red meat diet, and then, when she read somewhere that red meat actually hinders pregnancy while she had a steak on the grill, she ate her stale gingerbread house in her frustration and hunger.

Like many women, Chupack, who recently wrote about her conception adventures for O Magazine, began the whole procreating process relatively late. It was not until she was 40 that she fell in love with the right man and had real longings for children—which was just fine by her, but not so fine by her body.

But, also like many women, Chupack will not give up trying. If you think that the gingerbread house incident put her over the edge, well, you’ve probably never tried to conceive.

Image: John Cuneo/O Magazine

72-Year-Old Gives Birth to Twins

Madeline Holler — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:31:00 GMT

She's officially the oldest woman to give birth in the world. At a spry 72-years-old, Omkari Panwar, mother of two and grandmother of five, gave birth to a set of twins earlier this month.

Mom gave birth to the boy and girl via c-section in her home state of Uttar Pradesh in northern India. The pregnancy was extremely difficult and she's not doing so well now either.

The 75-year-old father says the couple is very happy, even though their fellow villagers range from stunned to disgusted by the fact that this couple underwent IVF at such a late, late time in their lives.

From ABCnews.com

Singh was reluctant to speak because he has received negative publicity for his wife's having children at such an advanced age. ... "The desire for a male child has always been there, but God did not bless us with a male child," he said of the son who is a product of in vitro fertilization. "Now, we are very grateful to God, who has answered our prayers."

The babies are doing well, despite being a month premature. The pregnancy was quite difficult, according to reports, and the mother had been on bedrest for eight months of the pregnancy.

Wow. I usually get behind these aging mamas, but in this case, I think I'm irritated at the whole male heirs thing. In any case, it's all between her and her doctor (who thought she was 65, incidentally ... sure, big difference). Incidentally, they used their life savings AND took out a loan to pay the doctor for the IVF treatments, etc. What a lucky male heir (and daughter) they produced!

Britain's Oldest Mum Still Old, Still a Mum

Photo: worldrecordsacademy.org

Cyst Winds Up a Bouncing Bundle of Joy!

Madeline Holler — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:03:00 GMT

There's a lot going on in this story so bear with. First, the wackiness:

A 57-year-old woman in the U.K. who had been diagnosed with an ovarian cyst was rushed to the hospital after her doctor detected a hard abdominal mass during a routine physical examination. After techs performed an ultrasound, instead of yelling "OR" and "STAT!" they said, "Congratulations!" She was pregnant -- a full 30-weeks.

Said Susan Tollefson:

"My initial reaction was to think, 'What a terrible way to tell me I've got ovarian cancer'. When he then said, 'You're pregnant' I was literally speechless.

This was her first pregnancy and one that she had tried to achieve through IVF in foreign clinics. (Remember, she's 57.) She had suffered what she thought was a miscarraige months before to her and her partner's devastation.

From the Daily Mail:

When Susan started haemorrhaging within four weeks of two fertilised embryos being implanted at a Russian fertility clinic, she went to her GP who, she says, told her she had miscarried.

A blood test and a home pregnancy test appeared to confirm this by showing negative.

Although she carried on bleeding heavily - which eventually led her to believe she was seriously ill rather than pregnant - she now believes she miscarried one of twins while the other managed to survive.

She's carrying and girl and so far the fetus seems to be developing normally. But Mum has apparently been taking all kinds of meds since the possible miscarriage that have left the couple worried about the baby's outcome. For example, she had started taking strong painkillers for her bad back. (Hmmmm. So her back was sore.) She also started taking antibiotics for a chest infection. (Hmmmm. Trouble breathing?).