Strollerderby : orgasm

Best of FameCrawler: Week of January 2nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Kate Winslet Looks Good Naked

Tripp Johnston Speaks Out: Take My Family, Please.

Is Jennifer Garner in Labor?

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony: It's Over

Josh & Anna Duggar: Premarital Sex

Charles Barkley - DUI, Gun and Oral Sex: Still Not a Role Model?

Public Sex and New Year's Orgasms with Jordan and Peter

Snow, Fur And Sarah Palin In A Bikini

Ani DiFranco Has a Trick Baby

Mariah Carey Eats Oysters, Therefore is Not Pregnant

When Baby Daddies Attack

Heath Ledger is Haunting Michelle for Closure

The Problem with "Orgasmic Birth"

Miriam Axel-Lute — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 16:14:00 GMT

The documentary Orgasmic Birth is coming to 20/20 in early January. I have mixed feelings about this.

First, unlike some of my fellow bloggers, I have no trouble believing orgasms can occur during the birth process, and this fact neither creeps me out nor makes me angry. I even think that it's cool that a documentary on the phenomenon is out and about.

However, it does creep me out that in the accompanying print article, people seem to be holding up orgasmic birth as somehow central to or representative of the messages of the natural birth movement, especially the very very important message that things like atmosphere, position, how safe a woman feels and how afraid she is will (along with a bunch of other stuff) affect her experience of labor pain, and the amount of it. They keep linking the idea of orgasmic birth being this big "best-kept secret" directly with such basic concepts as how it matters that women be allowed to labor in comfortable positions. I find this to be a troubling leap.

For my part, I think I had about as good a set-up as could be asked for. I was at home, I had a tub, I was never on my back, I felt safe and well cared for, I didn't go in particularly afraid. In fact, I knew of the existance of orgasmic birth, and while I didn't expect it, I was fully open to the idea that I might experience contractions as "rushes" instead of "pains."

I didn't. It hurt. A lot. I know this is no big surprise to most of you. It was not intolerable, and it was, as some call it, "pain with a purpose." It was worth it. But it sure was pain, and I sure didn't feel sexy or like an earth goddess or any of that.

Luckily, I hadn't been expecting to, and so I look back on my birth experience as a positive, empowering one.

But I'm afraid that if this orgasmic birth stuff is presented in the wrong light it's going generate a lot of "damn hippie" sentiment about natural birth, or even worse, a bunch of angry women who feel they were misled into thinking if they just breathed right and weren't afraid, it definitely wouldn't hurt.

The film's website says "Filmmaker Debra Pascali-Bonaro reveals a revolutionary approach to birth that is statistically safer for both mother and child than the birthing and delivery methods that are standard in many parts of the world today." Maybe she does. I think most of what the folks involved in the film would advocate would in fact do that. But surely orgasmic births are a happy side effect of that, not the revolutionary approach itself?

My take is that orgasmic birth is like simultaneous orgasms when two virgins have sex. Possible? Sure. Cool? Hell ya. Likely? Hardly. But more importantly, focusing on it as the goal makes a lot of people feel like a failure. You can just as easily up the odds by doing a lot of things you should be doing anyway: making sure people are well educated about sex and anatomy, happy with their bodies, not pressured into sex, etc.

Photo by Irannis.

Should You Take a Risk on Orgasmic Birth? (With Video)

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Is a happy ending massage cheating?

Brett Singer — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:00:00 GMT

I always thought yes, but some of the writers at MomLogic think not.

"Guest blogger Gina" (I can't see any other authorial designation) says, "I don't consider it cheating -- and when he finally got his 'massage,' I was happy for him!"

A few years ago an unmarried friend told me that he had gotten a "full release" massage. (If you don't know what this means, let's just say that it's a massage where the masseuse goes below the belt, applying her hands to the man's "twig and berries.") He was unattached at the time, and therefore wasn't cheating on anyone. See, I thought, and he agreed, that if a guy in a relationship did this, it would be cheating.

In the interest of equal time, women can also get happy endings on the table. Leslie Adler from the Vuv Club (a blog) wrote that, "the Dreamy Diddle" is not cheating. Her reasoning? "You go to the gynecologist, right? And he or she doesn't even kiss you first and look at what you let them do to you."

Umm…

Obviously I've never had a gynecological exam. But those of you who have, correct me if I’m wrong but is it a pleasurable experience? Does what the doctor "do to you" include bringing you to orgasm?

As for whether or not it would be OK for her husband to go all the way, massage-wise, Leslie says, "Well, is it habitual? Is he forming an emotional attachment to 'Olga with the big forearms?' If no, I say give it a whirl (or a stroke or two in this case) and be sure to keep it to yourself so it's like 'Vegas.' What happens on the massage table stays there."

The guy in me wants to say, "YEAH! That's my kind of woman!" But I don't really feel that way. This kind of attitude isn't "cool" it's idiotic. If a person pays someone for sexual pleasure, that's paying for sex. Which is prostitution. It doesn't matter how that person gets you off, they got you off. Am I the crazy one here? And if a woman I was in a relationship with did this, I would be annoyed but also grossed out. "He put his fingers WHERE?"

Men, ladies, gay, straight, whatever your relationship configuration is: would you be comfortable with your significant other getting a full release massage? Would you encourage this behavior? Or are Gina and Leslie off their blogger rockers?

Source/Image: MomLogic

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Students Suspended for Hair Dyed Pink in Honor of School Nurse's Battle with Breast Cancer

The Return of the Halloween Baby Slut Costumes

Student suspended for smearing peanut butter on classmate

Clay Aiken Comes Out

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Ohh, Baby - Orgasmic Birth Video

Brett Singer — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Some things go great together. Chocolate and peanut butter. Milk and cookies. Childbirth and orgasms.

What, you disagree? You think that it's unbelievably weird to be thinking about sex while your child is being born? What are you, a stiff?

There's a scene in Edward Albee's play "The Goat or Who is Sylvia?" (which is about a man who -- SPOILER ALERT -- cheats on his wife with a goat) when the father (who is having an affair with a goat) is comforting his son and talking about becoming sexually aroused at a certain inappropriate time (when a baby is bouncing on your lap). His friend enters and overhears the conversation, saying, "Is there anything that doesn't turn you people on?"

That's what I thought of when I saw this video. What possible good can come from reaching orgasm while you give birth? Why does it have to be either insanely painful or insanely pleasurable? Why not something in between?

If somebody wants to give birth outside of a hospital, that's their business. (Unless they want to do it RIGHT outside a hospital, on the street. That seems like a bad idea.) Madeline Holler just wrote a terrific essay on home births. But why does it need to be a sexual experience? And before you say, "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it," let me be the first to tell you that trying it isn't an issue, because it'll never happen.

Here's the video. You tell me what the creepy factor is. For me, on a scale of one to ten, this is an eleven. But maybe I'm just uptight.

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Let This Woman Give You A (birth) Orgasm

Come Again? Orgasmic Childbirth?

Some Moms Maybe Need High Heels

Kelly Mills — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:28:00 GMT

No, you don't need to wear six-inch heels because you are a yummy mummy or anything annoying like that. But according to one researcher, those cute pumps (assuming they fit your feet post-partum) might have an advantage for those of us who went through the whole vaginal birth thing. The headlines are selling this thing by saying heel-wearers have a better sex life, but that's only part of it.

See, Dr. Maria Cerruto, of the University of Verona, Italy found that women who wore moderately high heels toned their legs (yeah yeah) but also strengthened the pelvic muscles. As someone who has tried to remember to do Kegels so I don't have the whole peeing-while-running problem and so on, I guess I could occasionally trade in my Adidas for a pair of open-toe slingbacks with a modest bit of lift, especially if they were still relatively comfortable. Of course, heels hurt some people's backs, and I do know a few folks who developed shin splints they attribute to tottering around on sexy shoes. Eh, it's all a trade-off.

5 Cures for the Weekend "Crankies"

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 21:01:00 GMT

As parents, weekends can be the ultimate "bait and switch." Put another way, they can be the hot girlfriend or boyfriend who gives regular oral sex, who turns into the spouse who gives regular advice about lawn maintenance.

I'm just sayin'. Before kids, weekends are an opportunity to rest and recuperate from the workweek - a time to sleep in, eat huge piles of pancakes and bacon and drink too much (coffee). But having kids can transform weekends into a creeping horror show. At first, you feel like the man behind the door is probably just a friendly ghost. And then you realize he's an ax-wielding maniac who wants to chop your head off. But perhaps that's overstating the matter.

Weekends at my house typically go one of two ways. They are either an enjoyable lounging pajama fest, or a hell on wheels low-blood sugar dirty kitchen whine party. Our marriage usually bows under the strain of everyone being home at once and vying for who's in charge. So we've devised a few surefire methods to break us out of our cranky ruts. Here are some suggested parental crank-busters that might take the "eek" out of weekend:

1. Have a Date. Nothing cures the weekend shut-ins like a very civilized dinner with some nice wine, while children play at home with an energetic fun babysitter type. Put on some make-up and heels and take a shower. You'll both feel so much better for it.

2. Take the Children to the Park. Make them run repeated laps around the local park. Take them to one of those indoor play gyms with the wireless hook-ups so you can get some work done while they burn off that fabulous but haunting children on weekends energy.

3. Get the Whole Family Outside - Fresh air cures even the most intractable crankiness, both for child and adult. Sometimes if we go on a walk around the neighborhood Mommy and Daddy stop fighting about dinner and the kids stop fighting over the toilet monkey.

4. Give Mommy an Orgasm, Nothing cures life's common irritations as easily and quickly as a nice release.

5. Give Daddy an Orgasm. Ditto for Daddy.

Weekends will never be the same after children. That's why we love and cherish our grandparents and other caregivers who occasionally make weekends away possible.