Strollerderby : out of the mouths of babes

Out of the Mouths of Families

JeanneSager — Mon, 04 May 2009 20:31:00 GMT

The first time I asked my husband where the "mote-con" was, he looked at me like I'd lost my mind. I can't blame him - it's a word my family has used since my then two-year-old (now twenty-something) brother couldn't pronounce "remote control."

Citing an old AA Milne (author of Winnie the Pooh) quote, the New York Times devoted a column to the made up words and misplaced phrases families have coined . . . and use consistently.

Said Milne, "Your family, like every other family, has a language of its own, consisting of unintelligible catch phrases, favorite but not generally known quotations, obscure allusions, and well-tried but not intrinsically humorous family jokes."

The first thing to come to mind, of course, was "mote-con," which I have largely abandoned thanks to the stink-eye from my husband when I slip up. We have our own husband-and-wife developed catchphrases - largely culled from movies and common situations (an offer of ranch dressing by a waiter will prompt tittering to a point that will leave the poor server to wonder how they always end up with the loons and hoping we're at least good tippers).

But I've noticed the number of oddities has climbed exponentially since our daughter came along. Kids are a font of malapropisms, and as parents we can't help repeating them to our own amusement (and often to the chagrin of our friends, who wonder when Kathie Lee arrived). There are the made-up words (mote-con), the mispronounced sayings ("no, I amn't!") and the inappropriate usages (I blame my daughter for liberal usage of the words "get it?" when, really, everyone does and insistences that "I can't tell you" when people ask rhetorical questions).

There are also the new movie and book references - the sandwiches of "roast beast" made after repetitive readings of Dr. Seuss, the "teamwork" song after repeated viewings of The Wonder Pets!

So what are the kooky thngs your family has adopted post-child?

Image:Squidoo

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JeanneSager — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 21:32:00 GMT

I finally stopped holding my breath near cemeteries on a trip to Cape Cod when I was a teenager. We were stopped in traffic for a half an hour somewhere in New England, and cemetery on either side of the road. I think I'd gotten over the belief years before that the ghosts would enter my mouth if I breathed, but holding my breath had become a force of habit. I still blame my cousins.

Most of us had diehard beliefs when we were kids that we've fortunately learned to accept just aren't so. Remember your dog who got taken to the farm where he could run after chickens all day long? What about the baseball card collection your mom donated to the children's wing of the hospital for the really sick little boys who have nothing to do all day but lie in bed and shuffle through them?

I Used to Believe is a site devoted entirely to the beliefs we just couldn't shake when we were kids. There are your basic "out of the mouths of babes" quotes on there (yaaaawn), but there are quite a few that make you wonder, "Guerilla warfare isn't a bunch of gorillas attacking guys with guns?" So check it out - see if you recognize yourself . . . or your kids.

Image: I Used to Believe

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Kids Yell Assassinate Obama on Idaho School Bus

JeanneSager — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:49:00 GMT

Warning: if you’re having a bad day, don’t read this story. Because nothing about a bunch of kids chanting “Assassinate Obama” can make you feel good. Even if you’re a McCain supporter, we’re still talking children supporting murder.

In fact, the parents who brought this case to an Idaho TV station are McCain supporters. But like most parents in America, they’d rather not hear their kids spewing hate and homicidal recommendations on the school bus.

The kids from a Rexburg, Idaho school were actually shouting “Assassinate Obama and Kate,” throwing in the name of one of the bus passengers. Matthew Whoolery’s kids, second- and third-graders who were riding the elementary bus, came home and asked their dad what “assassinate” meant.

First he called the school. Then he called the media. He said he’d like more parents to realize they need to be careful of what they’re saying in front of their kids. Even a flip comment can be picked up by little pitchers and become an anthem for the pint-sized masses.

I’d like to think that this was a flip comment taken out of context by a child. I’d like to think that people in this country who are angry over the results of an election don’t automatically begin thinking about assassination as a means to salve their frustrations. The beauty of democracy is our ability to all have our say. So your candidate lost. You can fight a little harder in four years, and maybe you’ll succeed.

But killing the candidate? That’s hate. That’s extremism. That’s un-American. Is that really what you want to pass on to the future of our country?

Image/Source: 2News.TV

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How to Keep Your Kid From Pissing off The McCain Supporters

JeanneSager — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:27:00 GMT

The best part of my daughter learning to say "Barack Obama" wasn't the cute little inflection on the surname or the fact that she pronounced it just right. It was that she came out with it all by herself. She saw him on Nick's Kids Pick the President and decided "Barack Obama is the President." Ah yes, my prescient little girl. But when she hopped out of the car on Wednesday morning and screamed, "Barack Obama is the president," I got a little nervous.

She's three. She doesn't yet understand the meaning of gloating. All she knew was when she voted for president with Mommy and Daddy, we told her "tomorrow morning we'll know if Barack Obama is really the president." When she woke up, she asked me, "Did you find out who the president is yet?"

I grinned. "Yes honey, you were right, it's Barack Obama." We listened to NPR the entire way to nursery school - the way we do most mornings - and she heard "Barack Obama," over and over and over. She was primed for showing off what she can do.

But while we've been out loud and proud Obama supporters with our yard sign and our Facebook "we'll Barack the vote" messages, I've been aware that anything more than gentle pressure wasn't going to get me very far in our fairly conservative small town. I satisfied myself with the knowledge that we're just one corner of New York - we were bound to go blue despite them. More importantly, I refrained from telling them that. Wednesday morning, while I was floating on air, I was well aware I'd be facing some pretty glum faces. Faces I'll be facing for as long as I live here, and as I'm sort of fond of the place (conservative bent be darned) I expect that will be awhile.

So I did what any good mother would. I leaned down, scooped my daughter off the ground and informed her she's the smartest girl in the world. "You already know Barack Obama is the president," I told her, "but today you're going to school to learn something new."

That's what McCain supporters will be doing today and tomorrow and for the next four years. It's up to us to help them along the way.

Image: New York Times

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When They Can Curse in Context

JeanneSager — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:03:00 GMT

Madame didn’t like the bowl of chicken noodle soup. So she looked up at me through those too die for lashes wasted on pre-schoolers. “I want hot dogs.” I held my ground. “You asked for soup. You’re having soup.” Throwing herself on the floor, she screamed, “that’s bulls**t!”

Not just cursing. Curses used in context. Uh oh. Even the goody goody parents have at one time or another let slip a four-letter something or other in front the kids. Someone cuts you off in traffic. "Awww, f**k." Obnoxious lady in the grocery store hits you in the heels with the cart – again. "Son of a . . ." We expect them to repeat them, ad nauseam, at the most inopportune times. Your mother-in-law comes over. “Hey Gwandma, I’m a son of a beeeeeeep.” You had to see that coming.

But cursing in context? This is bad. This is very, very bad.

Oh Well, if I'm up s**t creek, at least my kid will know how to find me. Which makes me wonder - if our kids are going to pick up on bad words, do we really feel any better when they at least use them correctly?

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