Strollerderby : party

9 Steps to Keep Your Kid from Ruining a Wedding - Part II

Cole Gamble — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:00:00 GMT

5) If you and your wife are a part of the wedding party, it really ruins the whole effect if you have children who are upset calling out for you and running around (depending on the age) wanting to stand next to you. Designate a babysitter or just a friendly acquaintance of the bride and groom to remove you children from the situation as needed. Immediately. I am always appalled when the children end up being the center of the ceremony, and believe me, I have seen it.

6) If there ends up being a receiving line right after the ceremony, don't make the kids stand there for 25 minutes. It will NOT go well. Have your designee entertain them until they have to jump through the next hoop.

7) Most wedding parties get their pictures done right after the ceremony is over. It is a long very boring process, especially for kids. I recommend really hooking your children your children up under this particular circumstance. Don't just bring a juice box and a banana. Tide them over with big time junk food (no Cheetos--think tux black and neon Cheeto orange) and maybe a little candy. This will occupy them for a bit while they wait their turn. Dollar store trinkets also work pretty well to distract them for a few minutes, until they break them.

8) The reception can be a bit tricky. Many of the guests will want to see you little gems, so they'll have to go for the beginning. But just an hour into the reception and your kid is definitely spinning. It may be well into their bedtime. Think about having a babysitter arranged at home or the hotel, then whisk the little time bombs discretely and hurry back before anyone notices you’re gone.

9) Just a couple more things...MAKE SURE you buy your daughter tights that are a size bigger. They just ride higher no big deal. The last thing you want is your little girl to be adjusting her tights constantly throughout the ceremony and on the way down the aisle. They have no shame and may possibly tuck their dress into the tights. One more piece of advice. I would not get her hair professionally done because a five year old does not need an updo with a French roll. Just style it as you see fit.

To Part 1

9 Steps to Keep Your Kid from Ruining a Wedding

Cole Gamble — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:30:00 GMT

It’s that time of year when a flood of summer wedding invitations (especially June) clog your mailbox. The wedding party is finishing alterations and trying to match shoes and what not. Oh, and also your kids will probably be involved, especially if it’s a relative getting married. Let’s face it, flower girls and ring bearers are sweet and receive lots of oohs and awws from the attendees, which adds sweetness to the whole ceremony. Though they make for a cute prop, the kid is still your responsibility. If your monster steps on the bride’s train, sets the ice sculpture on fire or decides to take his pants off at the altar, all eyes burn on you.

1) If the bride is in hysterics before the wedding, remove the kid from the situation. She might want to offer the bride her gummy, hair covered lollypop in consolation. Or more likely your kid will tug out the bride’s delicately done hair while the lady bawls. Brides do not need the added stress and neither do you!

2) So, flower girls get a cute little dress for the wedding. If the dress needs no alterations, hide the dress until the day of the wedding. Many little girls are fascinated with these types of things, especially the three to six year olds. Unless you want her screaming about her dress over everyone’s rehearsal dinner speech.

When you hide that dress, hide it well. If it is introduced to her, it’s all over, even if you hide it, she WILL find that dress. Private middle of the night fashion shows (twirling) have been known to happen. The dress could get seriously affected from all the wear and tear. Then the bride will be annoyed and you'll have to pay for it, and, again, it’s your problem. Just don't show her.

3) As for the Ring Bearers. So much about this depends on the age. If someone asks for your eight year old or older son to be a ring bearer; my advice would be to politely turn them down because an older child carrying a pillow looks silly, let’s face it. If your son is an appropriate age to be involved do not discuss the wedding with your son. Make no mention of the tux he will be wearing; that could cause a lot of trouble for you, because he'll complain often and many little boys could care less about weddings anyway, so no harm done. Talking about it may only create pending anxiety and resentment against YOU for making him do this, so just as the flower girl, introduce everything the day of the wedding or shortly before if alterations are a necessity.

4) While at the rehearsal, the night before, I'd not have the children too involved (i.e. getting the aisle walk just right.) Make sure to tell them that there will be some people, some of which, they'll know in the audience. Give them the go ahead to wave and be friendly. That might take away some of the stage fright. The bride will be way back in line, her heart beating out of her chest, and she'd never know if your children showed off a bit or, you know, stopped to take a piss on the carpet.

Continue to Part II

Kindergartner Gets Best Birthday Present EVER

JeanneSager — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:34:00 GMT

I pride myself on being a pretty good gift giver - at least when it comes to my kid. But I can't top Casey Hurles.

The Army specialist came home from Iraq, then let his family wrap him in a box and cart him to son Gabriel's elementary school.

While Gabriel chowed down on cupcakes with his classmates, Casey sat quietly in the box, waiting. When he finally tore off the bright balloon-covered wrapping paper, the kindergartner jumped back and yelped - but it didn't take too long to recover.

The Nevada six-year-old hadn't see his dad since June when Spc. Casey Hurles left for his second tour of duty in Iraq. When Hurles realized his leave would fall right in line with his son's sixth birthday, he hatched a plan that's been four months in the making. Returning home, he had to hide out at his parents' house to make sure the surprise wouldn't be ruined.

Watching little Gabriel burrow his face in his Dad's chest, returning again and again for more hugs, might bring on the waterworks (it did for me), so grab the tissues before you watch!

Now isn't that the best birthday present a kid could get?

Image/Source: Nevada Appeal

Pee Wee Partytime! Do You Overdo it?

SunnyChanel — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 04:37:00 GMT

Earlier today, fellow Stollerderby team member Jen confessed that she was a “plate-and-cups parent”. When given the choice for signing up for a Halloween party at her son’s daycare, she opted to provide the spoons and cups. Last weekend, I was met with the very same dilemma, the dreaded Halloween Party Potluck Sign-Up.

But me, I’m at the other end of the spectrum. Instead of opting for the time effective and easy, I try to find a way to make the task the most time consuming, complex and difficult as I can make it. And I always, without a doubt, regret it.

When signing up for the before mentioned party, what did I opt to make? Four dozen bat shaped polenta hors d’ouevres, some dyed a midnight hue of black, with homemade olive tapenade eyes. Yeah, I went there. Martha would have been proud. In the past, I’ve also made a series of one-of-a-kind handmade plush monsters as party favors for my daughter’s second birthday, made a historically accurate Marie Antoinette dress for her first Halloween, and hand pureed all her baby food. Yup, I’m one of those. Sadly, I’m so exhausted by the time I finish one of these projects, I have no chance to sit back and enjoy the moment. Next time, I’m going to join Jen and try to change my stripes to be a “paper and cups” parent.

Who am I kidding? I’ll just get myself into some crazy project pickle yet again. Who needs sleep or sanity? Any other project crazed parents out there, those who take on way too much than you can chew?

Are You a Plates-and-Cups Parent?

Jen Chaney — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:33:00 GMT

When I was in elementary school, I knew the drill. If there was a party -- at Halloween, the holidays or any other time -- I had one important duty: Sign up to bring paper plates or cups. My mom was very clear on this point. She didn't want me coming home and surprising her with a last-minute order for three dozen peanut butter cookies. Napkins, plates, cups, plastic cutlery or even the occasional beverage. These were things she could handle.

Now, my mom was not lazy by any means. She threw birthday parties that would have made Martha Stewart look like a horribly uncreative, special-occasion slacker. But with two kids, she had all the demands for pastries and potato chips she could handle.

I mention this because last week I realized something significant: I have become a plates-and-cups mother, too.

My son's daycare is throwing a Halloween party. Last week, the staff posted a sign-up sheet on his classroom door asking parents to contribute refreshments. I quickly scanned the list to see what was requested. Brownies ... veggies ... spoons and cups! Ding! Ding! Ding!

I scrambled so quickly to scrawl my name next to those two items that I nearly dropped my son on the ground and threw out my back. I wanted to be the mom who would walk through the daycare center's brightly painted doors on Oct. 31 holding tupperware containers filled with orange-and-black frosted cupcakes, each one topped with an appropriately spooky Gummi worm. But I knew the truth. I hang daily by a pretty thin thread, and if I add mandatory baking to my list of things to do, I might find myself checking into a mental facility for overstressed mothers.

So I did the easy thing and opted for cups and cutlery. And honestly, I didn't feel that guilty about it. Plus, I finally understood my mother's position on this issue. In a world that spins way too fast for most parents to keep up with their kids or their jobs, let alone both, sometimes the smartest, most reassuring thing you can do is go with the cups.

Is anyone feeling me on this one? Do you routinely volunteer for fruit punch or plastic fork-and-knife duty when your child's class throws a party? And if so, do you feel any guilt?

Image: www.birthday-supplies.com

No presents for this kid - just donations

Brett Singer — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

More nice news – an 11-year-old in Greensboro, North Carolina told her friends not to bring presents to her birthday party. Instead, she asked them to bring canned goods that she will donate to a local food pantry.

This isn't the first time Audrey Mangum decided to forgo gifts in favor of more charitable pursuits. This has been going on for four years. Previous birthdays included items such as teddy bears and toys to be donated to less fortunate families.

Some kids, of course, brought presents, and Audrey was happy about that, proving that she's nice, but not nuts. "That is pretty cool," said Mangum. "They didn't even have to do that."

Cool kid! I have a friend whose daughter did something similar one year, and everyone was pretty charmed by the gesture. Frankly, I think it would be nice if more kids did this sort of thing, but I think the idea needs to come from the child. That is, if you say, "Hey, Toy Boy. How about this year you don't get presents and your friends just bring cans for the food pantry?" you may not get a great reaction. Then again, maybe not every kid is going to think of this on their own, or they might be embarrassed to bring it up for fear of being teased (not to mention not getting any cool gifts.) Has anyone ever done this with their children?

Image/Source: digtriad.com

Attack of the Monkey Children

Your baby is ugly

Just Say No

J.LO Is Doing It All Without A Nanny, She's So Awesome

How Not to Behave at a Birthday Party

Jen Chaney — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 15:32:00 GMT

This MomLogic blogger is way ticked at a mom and dad that came to her kid's birthday party. And frankly, it sounds like she has a right to be.

They repeatedly asked if the host was paying for parking or buying wristbands for the parents. Then they questioned who was supervising the children. And, as an exclamation point on the day, they changed a dirty diaper on top of a picnic table.

All of which certainly qualifies as rude. But does this make them, as the blogger contends, the rudest parents ever? I'm thinking no, only because there are ruder things that they could have done.

They could have:

--Asked the host if she would reimburse them for buying her kid a gift.

--Taken the birthday cake to another table, then started charging the guests for each slice.

--Spiked the Kool-Aid because they found the party "too boring, yo."

--Put trick candles on the cake, then forced the birthday girl to keep trying to blow them out until she breaks down into spasms of sobs.

Can you trump that? What's the rudest thing you've seen someone do at a birthday party?

Photo: MomLogic

The Return of the 10 Grand Birthday

Kelly Mills — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 19:01:00 GMT

Write about parent-y stuff long enough and you'll notice certain stories cycle in and out again and again. One of the modern classics is the super-duper expensive birthday party for kids. Yes, some parents are hosting shindigs that cost up to $10,000, and there's even companies like Over the Top Productions that will help you ~~spend your money~~ plan your kid party. These stories usually have quotes from some parent who says it was worth it to "create a memory" that will last a lifetime (though often the kid is so young it's unlikely they'll make a mental snapshot of that pony ride) and then there's a few folks who didn't exactly mean to spend so much, it just sort of happened.

The counterpoint to all this is the idea that lavish events send the kids the wrong message about consumption, and the notion that parents are doing it to keep up with other parents, and feeling undue pressure. Are there actually parents out there who worry, "Well, the Finkleberg kid had that sweet affair at the Ritz, so how are we gonna top that?" Sigh. Then there's tips on throwing an inexpensive event. Call me crazy, but I think if you show your kid love year-round, how you celebrate birthdays is probably not going to rank very high in importance, and you should just do the kind of party that feels right to you.

Chuck E. Cheese Is Hotbed of Crime

Kelly Mills — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:01:00 GMT

So what exactly is it about Chuck E. Cheese, um, entertainment centers that inspires violence and crime? Perhaps it's the infernal noise of fifty video games beeping wildly. Maybe it's the fact that there's a giant mouse walking around and everyone pretends that's normal, just like they do at Disneyland--and someday I'll tell you about the time the guy in the mouse costume actually groped me. It could be the animotronic creatures that line the walls, punctuating the din with even noisier singing and clacking (though to be honest, I don't even know if they have those animals anymore, this is a childhood memory we are mining here.) Could be the wretched pizza, the sticky floors, the crying and the ultimate frustraton that is skeeball.

What the hell am I talking about? Well, a Pennsylvania Chuck E. Cheese has seen 18 calls to police in a year, including one for a 20-person brawl. And no one can exactly pinpoint whether it's the older kids or the parents who are causing all the ruckus. Plus, this isn't an isolated incident by any means. All I'm saying is that when folks are afraid to go to a kid party joint without an escort, something has gne terribly, horribly wrong.

Two Moms Brawl at Chuck E. Cheese

Kelly Mills — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 23:02:00 GMT

You know how it goes: One minute you are hosting a birthday party for your kid, and the next thing you know, you are in a fistfight with another mom. Two mothers are going to court soon over a tussle at a party at Chuck E. Cheese. I'm pretty sure part of the defense strategy will be, "Your Honor, there are mitigating circumstances to consider. After all, my client was at Chuck E. Cheese, and I doubt anyone has spent time there and not wanted to strike someone."

Of course, it all started over a video game. One kid was using the game, and the birthday boy's mom told her son to be patient. Then the game kid pushed the birthday boy, who said he was hogging the game. Birthday boy's mom said game boy was finished, game boy's mom said he wasn't, words were exchanged, and then game boy's mom attacked birthday boy's mom. They fought for a bit, and planned to take it to the parking lot when the police arrived. Pretty sad for the kids, and police are filing charges against both ladies. No word on whether any large mice were injured, but we can only hope.

Parents Spent $3,000 On The Kid's First Birthday Party

Kelly Mills — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 21:35:00 GMT

A while ago the parenting story of the day was paring down parties for kids, and how these celebrations should be small and cost nothing and we should all forgo the party favors. There was even an online movement called Birthdays Without Pressure, for people who were kinda grossed out by the excesses of it all, and the word on the street was that big parties had more to do with competitive parents than the kids. At the time, I came out in defense of the lavish affair. However, I'm here to tell you I do have my limits, and they are definitely shy of this one-year-old's birthday.

How do you spend that much on a kid birthday? These parents did it by renting a room at a country club, hiring a magician, having pony rides, buying a giant castle cake, providing a buffet and pinata, all for almost 60 guests. ('Course that party would cost $5,000 where I live.) They also flew out the grandparents, and I think that part is sweet. But mother Sheila Chapman's motivation behind the affair was reportedly to make it memorable for her son. Um, bad news: He's one. He isn't gonna remember a thing about it. She also wanted her son "to know how important and special I think he is." Okaaaay, for a one-year-old, I think you can accomplish that with a hug and thirty minutes in the sandbox.

Fun Birthdays Despite Recession

Madeline Holler — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:36:00 GMT

In all this talk about economic downturns and recessions or "recessions" and whatnot, politicians are overlooking one very important thing when calculating rebates and tax cuts and interest rates freezes and economic stimulation: what the hell is a parent to do about birthday parties?

Listen, party-planning expert Lisa Kothari, author of Dear Peppers and Pollywogs...What Parents Want to Know About Planning Their Kids' Parties knows your pain and she wants to help out with her three-part series on recession-proof children's birthday parties. Thank God, because I was worried we'd have to leave it up to our kids this year to create their own fun.

For Part 1, she counsels to "think outside the box," but goes on to give some cool ideas, so stick with me. The first is a Messy Party, with these sugggestions.

Invitations stamped with handprints.
Make a mess out of balloons and streamers; hang them all over the place in no set pattern.
Have the kids paint pictures with chocolate.
Let the kids decorate premade sugar cookies.
Set out paint, roller brushes, and butcher paper for the kids to make fantastic creations.
Have a bunch of stamps and water-soluble ink out and have the kids stamp their arms and legs all over and stamp one another!
Place a pile of dirt in one area of the yard and have the kids make dirt creations using twigs, rocks, and other natural elements.
Make a traditional round cake, ice with vanilla frosting and then drizzle different colors of icing into your own messy masterpiece. Add candy toppings as an added bonus.

Outrageous Cookie Party

Make plain cookie dough and then set out these ingredients for kids to get creative with. Bag them up to take home. Be sure to warn parents in case the kids decide to share.

Ketchup
Mustard
Chocolate Syrup
Ranch Dressing
Steak Sauce
Cherries
Yogurt
Cheese
Peanut Butter
Balsamic Vinegar
Jam
Pesto Sauce
Tomato Sauce
Relish

Don't forget to request all birthday gifts in cash. (Who's going to pay for all that wasted pesto? We're in a recession!)

So what are you doing for a cheap birthday party this year (or any year)? Canceling the tiger cub rental? Yeah, me too. Me too.

Photo: Once Upon a Bash

Parent's House Trashed After Teen's Party Advertised on MySpace

Karen Murphy — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 11:11:00 GMT

I so do not want to be Rachael Brown, age 17. (Okay, I so do not ever want to be 17 again for any reason, but that's beside the point.) Nor do I want to be her parents, who are faced with a $40,000 bill after Rachael's party, advertised on her MySpace page, got out of hand. Rachael claims her MySpace site was hacked (and I believe her, poor kid) and that she attempted to bolt the door when hundreds of alcohol-soaked people began pouring into her house, unexpected and unannounced, but she was unable to stop the tide.

Rachael was going to clean up the mess the next day, thinking that she had a few days before her parents returned from their vacation (is anybody else thinking "Risky Business" here?), but instead went into hiding when she found out they were due home any minute. As a result she was unable to save them from a major "ohmygod" moment when they walked in and found the self-described "house rape": mom's wedding dress was urinated on, urine and vomit was everywhere, clothing and jewelry was stolen, ceiling light fixtures were ripped down from being swung on (and here I thought that was so cliche), and there were numerous cigarette burns in the carpet.

Dude! That's quite a party. Police are investigating the MySpace hack claim, and meanwhile Rachael's parents have moved out of the house while it's being professionally cleaned. Rachael's hanging at some undisclosed location and published an apology to her parents in her local paper.

Either possible actual scenario here is interesting:

a. Rachael's a total liar and she was swinging on the chandeliers with the rest of them, or

b. She spent an anguished worst-nightmare-come-true night watching her house be totally trashed, wracked with guilt.

I'm thinking "b", but then I'm pretty much an optimist. What's your vote?