Strollerderby : patronizing

Why Should Mom Business Owners Sing Kum Ba Ya?

Amy Kuras — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 01:22:00 GMT

It’s very rare that a news story (especially one that doesn’t have to do with the election) gets me all raged up, but this one did. From the Toronto Globe and Mail no less, and I expect better of you, Canada!

It’s a story about how mompreneurs can backstab each because they sometimes get cutthroat in building their business
This story managed to patronize on several different and actually conflicting levels. First, I find the term mompreneurs dismissive. It demeans women trying to find a way to leverage their talents in order to combine work and motherhood with a cutesy phrase and makes it sound like they’re running lemonade stands.

Secondly, I find it so annoying when people write about how women are so evil and backstabby as if such behavior is an exclusively female trait. God knows I have worked with my share of sneaky women, but I’ve had equally as many childish and egomaniacal male bosses. And the women I have known who fit that stereotype are that way because they are two-faced, nasty, insecure people, not because they are women. Cattiness is a feline trait, not a female one.

And finally, the writer pretty much expresses shock that those catty women could be like, well, men in that we are competitive and want to build our business. One mom quoted said that mompreneurs should be helping each other and working together, not trying to take things away from each other.

Sure, yeah, it’s unethical and crappy to take an idea someone shared with you and run with it, but if you have any business savvy at all you realize it’s a risk when you share your big idea with someone in a similar line of work. I have trusted work confidants, but they are usually people who are successful enough in their own right they don’t need to be stealing ideas and contacts from me, not to mention savvy enough to understand that if you do such a thing, word gets around and a bad reputation is impossible to live down.

Soooo, we’re not supposed to be catty and backstabbing like a bunch of women, but not be competitive and business savvy like a man. Um, where does that leave us exactly?

Nesting Nutcases or Pregnant Powerhouses?

Amy Kuras — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 20:03:00 GMT

Oh, those crazy pregnant ladies, with their hormones and their funny little out of control emotions.

That's the tone of this New York Times story about the, shall we say overacheiving nesting taken on by some pregnant women. It profiles several women about the wide-ranging house renovation projects they took on during their pregnancies.

One of those is actress Angela Kinsey of "The Office" who comes across as only slightly less control-freaky (but with a lot more self-deprecating humor) than her character on the show (a severely uptight accountant). She hired someone to enlarge windows in her house, among other things. Windows.

While the attitude of the writer and the contractors interviewed is more than a little infuriatingly patronizing, I have to say I've been through this twice and found myself nodding my head along with some of the women. I so clearly remember bumping my enormous full-term body along my hardwood floors shortly before my daughter was born, cleaning every baseboard in the house to within an inch of its life. My (insanely clean) mother-in-law was coming and I was sure she was going to judge me (some more). My girl is three and I think the baseboards have been cleaned once since. I thought I didn’t nest this time with my son, but then remembered The Kitchen Project of Imminent Divorce and accompanying ruthless organizational spree around the beginning of my third trimester (my marriage did survive, barely).

Nesting might be a little crazy –but when else is a busy mother supposed to have time or energy for that stuff?

Patronizing Pampers Pushing TV Pablum

Amy Kuras — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 17:36:00 GMT

I'm a total free sample whore, I'll admit it. I've signed up for all kinds of things to get free stuff or good coupons – or okay, my cat has, so when I get the telemarketing call for "Casey" I can say, in truth, that he is not able to speak on the phone.

As a parent and parent-to-be I get all kind of things – we're a pretty heavily-marketed-to group. I've got a nice little stash of newborn size diapers thanks to being on the Pampers mailing list – and then, yesterday, I received something that made the top of my head blow off.

A DVD of soap operas. Soap. Operas. Because apparently I am parenting in the 1950s.

Let me just share with you the jacket copy: "We know that having a baby changes your life dramatically, so while you take care of your newborn let us take care of you. Our shows are the perfect choice for you – the new mom who needs some quality time for herself."

HOLY Patronizing Crap! Because of course, the brain exits along with the placenta, and I wouldn't, you know, read or surf the web or even blog during those precious moments, nope, I'm all about preposterous plot developments and sappy romance. Because, you know, chicks, we love that harebrained shit.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with watching soaps if that makes you happy, and given that I developed a pretty serious Gilmore Girls jones while I was nursing my daughter I can’t exactly be on my high horse television-wise. But I just find it so patronizing that because I am a woman, and a mother I'm supposed to seek out the most brainless entertainment as "me time."