Strollerderby : penis

Family Awarded Millions For Circumcision Mistake

Brett Singer — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

I know there are lots of people out there who regularly scream about how trial lawyers are destroying the world through lawsuits. And doctors are having trouble keeping up with their malpractice insurance payments. But here's a case where I think you'll agree the award isn't enough.

Four years ago, a boy had part of his penis cut off during a circumcision. The part could have been reattached if his pediatrician had acted quickly enough to do so, according to the plaintiff. A Georgia jury agreed and awarded $1.8 million to the boy and $500,000 to his mother. Their names are being kept private, but the doctors' names aren't. They are "Haiba Sonyika, the obstetrician who performed the circumcision, and Cheryl J. Kendall, the pediatrician who treated the child later." The hospital was not found to be at fault.

See, this is a big screw-up, especially the part about the pediatrician not doing enough to re-attach the, um, piece. This is assuming that the jury's verdict is accurate; I don't know the specifics of the case, so I'm going by the article I read.

I'm always curious how a jury comes up with an amount of money in cases like this. This time, the mother received $500,000 for psychotherapy, and the $1.8 million for the boy "was based on a per-day formula for the child's life expectancy."

The attorney for the plaintiffs, David J. Llewellyn, "has been representing victims of wrongful circumcision and genital injury since 1995." So calling him "some dickhead lawyer" isn't an insult. (Sorry. But sometimes they make it so easy.)

Also interesting was the defense team's strategy of loading the jury with women. Another attorney for the plaintiff, Craig T. Jones, thought this wasn't going to work. "I figured if you have one man on the jury, he can explain to the women -- if they don't know -- how important a penis is to a man's self-image." Yeah, even if they don't, I would say cutting off anything that you weren't supposed to during an operation is a bad idea.

Source: Law.com

Image: SXC

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Parents of Young Boys, Beware!

KeriF — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 22:21:00 GMT

Doctors in one English hospital are reporting an increasing number of emergency room visits for boys under the age of 5. Why? (Parents, you might want to cross your legs before reading more.)

Apparently little boys eager to pee just like Daddy are getting their wee peckers crushed by falling toilet seats.

I can't say I'm surprised. Ever since my son potty-trained last year I have watched as he stands in front of the toilet, penis in hand, and lets the heavy ceramic lid crash down after he's done his business. To be honest though, I never really thought he could get caught. He's only 4, and his penis is still so... well, you know. (I don't want to give him a complex.)

There are an estimated 250 "penis crush injuries" per year in the U.K. alone. Doctors blame this on the rising popularity of heavy ceramic and wooden toilet seats

I think I'll make my son pee sitting down from now on.

Part II: A Guy’s Take on Why You Shouldn’t Circumcise (and Why You Should)

Cole Gamble — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:04:00 GMT

Okay, I’ve had my say so now it’s time to acknowledge the pros of whacking the little bugger off (the foreskin, I mean).

There Are Some Small Medical Benefits

Among the benefits are:

Decreased potential for urinary tract infection.

Increased possibility for penile cancer (although probability for penile cancer is remote for either circumcised or uncircumcised males).

Three times more susceptible to contract HIV from infected women. (Might want to give your son the condom talk, what do you say?)

Some Girls Do Like it Better

And some don’t, I might add.

Will Make Son Look More Like Daddy

Assuming daddy is foreskin-less as well. Their similarity, anatomically speaking, is something they can bond over, like when they play catch.

Circumcisions Don’t Hurt Like They Used To

For months leading up to our boy’s circumcision (yes, my wife won) I feared the sound of betrayed wailing that would come from my son as the doctor has is way with him and a machete. On the day of the procedure, I was surprised the find the operation had more to do with string than scalpel. There was a quick cut, a quick yelp and then the doctor put a nice Boy Scout knot around my boy’s penis, leaving the foreskin to dry up and eventually fall off on its own.

I have given you all I can. Hopefully you’re now armed to make an educated decision regarding your son’s penile future. The most important part to remember is it’s your choice. Not grandpas. Not your neighbor’s. Not society’s. It’s yours.

Back to part 1...the cons of circumcision

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11 names for private boy parts

Brett Singer — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:00:00 GMT

UPDATE: I missed the most obvious one, so I added it below.

In response to Miriam's brilliant post about what to call girly parts, I offer this list of names for what little boys have. And no, I don't mean "greasy grimy gopher guts." That's what they're MADE of. This is what they HAVE. Very different.

10) Weenie: has one major benefit, which is that it can be upgraded to "wiener."

9) The Family Jewels: mentioned on 'The Simpsons', and many other places as well. Obviously this refers to the testicles, but when you are talking about getting hit in them, this name feels appropriate (also painful, if you have actually been hit down there. Trust me. I know. Ow.)

8) Peter: I assume this is because it sounds like "penis", and not because of some weird biblical thing. But I'm not very religious, so I could be wrong.

7) Yourname Junior: Brett Junior, that sort of thing. It's a little weird but always good for a laugh. Of course, if you are getting laughs with your pah-pay-pay, maybe that's a problem.

6) Johnson: oldie but goodie.

5) One-eyed snake: popularized in a Cheech and Chong song.

4) Pecker: self-explanatory I guess. Although it has the connotation of something that's not large, which can be psychologically damaging.

3) Willie: not sure why this works but it does. There's an Oi song called "Willie Whitelaw's Willie", but I don't think that's where the name came from.

2) Jimmy: I first heard this from De La Soul, who taught us in the 80's that you always need to wear your Jimmy Hat (condom).

1) Womb Raider: I'd never heard of this one until I googled "penis names." It's ridiculous but really needed to be mentioned.

UPDATE:

0) Pee pee. (Thanks to commenter Becky for this one.) Unfortunately, this is one of those terms that has a double meaning -- "pee pee comes out of your pee pee" is one of those sentences you have to be a parent to say.

OK, now for the big reveal. You know what we call it in our house? A penis. Since we started that from a young age, there was no worry about shameful feelings that somehow the privates were something not to be discussed. Of course, this can be problematic when the kids get older and shout out "PENIS!" on a crowded bus, but that's the opportunity to explain that some words are appropriate at home, in private, and since these are your private parts (get it?) "penis" is one of those words. Luckily this strategy has worked for us, since I'm not sure I could bring myself to tell my son to call his pecker Johnson. Or… whatever, you know what I mean. This isn’t to say that you should follow the same path, and I have no idea how things are for girl children, since I don't have any. And I think some of the names Miriam mentions are quite nice. I just don't know if there are male equivalents that are equally pleasant. We are, after all, fairly base and simple creatures. Ugga mugga.

I'm sure there are some names that I've missed – anyone want to weigh in?

image: Wikipedia

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Gender's Up to Five-Year-Old Hermaphrodite, Not Parents

JeanneSager — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:35:00 GMT

Their child is a boy . . . and a girl. And as far as the Colombian courts are concerned, the 5-year-old hermaphrodite's parents do not have the right to sew the child's vagina shut and remove an ovary to allow for normal development of the penis and testicles.

Born with both female and male sexual organs, the youngster has been raised as a boy since birth. That's why his/her (I'm not being sarcastic, I really don't know quite which to say) father has been pressing for the right to schedule the surgery. But the court says at 5 it's too late for the parents to be making the decision - it's up to the child. I'd tend to agree - especially in light of the stories I've heard from the transgendered community over the years about the first time they remember feeling like they were in the "wrong" body. But what if the child chooses wrong?

Kids, by their nature, love to role play. Until adults start putting ideas in their head that somehow their behavior is abnormal (ugh), little boys will parade around in their sister's tutu or announce themselves as "Dora" today. The same goes for girls who might one day insist they're a boy, the next they're a girl, and back again. It can be a phase or it can be a sign of things to come. So how do you let a 5-year-old make this kind of decision?

The Intersex Society of North America, a non-profit advocacy group for the "intersex," actually advises against surgeries for children with both male and female reproductive organs - unless medical intervention is necessary for a child's health. Interestingly, they do advocate "gender assignment," essentially treating the child as one sex or the other from birth. In this case, the family has done that, choosing to treat their child as a son. But the ISNA says that has to be done after doctors do a complete evaluation to determine which gender the child is more likely to identify with as they grow up. Although it can't be 100 percent (think about the numbers of people seeking gender reassignment surgery), they say there are some markers within the body that give a general sense of how the rest of the body will develop.

Makes sense to me, and clears up a portion of the worry about letting a 5-year-old make such a huge decision. If doctors can say the body is developing one way or the other, and a child has significant support from the medical community (including counselors), this kind of decision should rest in the body of the person who will have to live with the results. Even if they're 5 years old.

Image: Mother Jones

Part I: Why Parents of Girls Have it Better

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A Guy’s Take on Why You Shouldn’t Circumcise (and Why You Should)

Cole Gamble — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:00:00 GMT

To cut or not to cut: that is the question. Any parent about to have a boy faces this quandry. In ancient times circumcision was a must. Lack of proper hygiene made foreskins a liability. This is the modern era, however. The old slice n’ dice routine is more choice than mandate. Some of you made your decision the second you discovered the sex of the baby. “I’ll chop the sucker off myself if I have to.” Some of you were a bit more hesitant. The same problem saddled my wife and I two years ago. One of us was very pro-circ (wife) and the other less so. For full disclosure’s sake, I myself am not circumcised and it doesn’t bother me one iota. So I laid out my case to save the foreskin. Here’s is what I told my wife:

Penis Styling as Fashion

Save the religious exception, most parents chose to cut because they simply think it’s a more fashionable look. The line I got from my wife was, “Girls like them better.” To which I replied, “You married me, didn’t you?” At which point she added, “Oh, but yours is…special,” patting me on the head reassuringly. Um, nice save. My father in law tossed in his two cents: “The boys in the high school showers will make fun of him.” “Oh really?” I said, “Well then my son can just say, ‘Dude, you’re the one staring at my penis.’” Face it, parents circumcise because they want their boy to be like all the others. They’re shaping their child to conform from birth. Is that what you want, a conformist? Do you want to a kid who is a genital sheep, or do want one who rocks the system with a penis with personality?

Great Names

All the euphemisms for circumcised are played out. Bald headed soldier. One eyed snake. Yawn. Think of a cut penis as a wellspring of inspiration for new names. Like “The Sleeping Bag” or “Mr. Turtleneck.”

Men with Uncircumcised Penises Have More Pleasurable Sex

Okay so you’re not giving a lot of thought to your child’s future sex life. Fair enough, but many experts believe that circumcision leads to lessened penile sensitivity because the foreskin is jam packed with nerve endings. It is even said that an un-snipped penis is better for the woman as well. Leave the foreskin alone and, believe me, your son will thank you years from now. Not that you would ever, ever, ever want him to.

Possible Surgical Risk

Any and all surgery (and circumcision is surgery) comes with risk.

It Is Not Too Much Trouble to Care For

This was the big argument my wife trotted out. “You don’t want to clean it everyday, do you?” Turns out you are not even supposed to touch the thing until the boy is three, and by then it pulls back naturally and you clean it just like you would a normal penis. So there, you penis scrubbing fanatics!

Read Part 2: The Pros of Circumsicion

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My Daughter Wants A Penis

Cole Gamble — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Our kids bathe together. With my daughter at four-years-old and my son not quite two, the cute harmlessness of their tub adventures is directly proportionate to the amount of embarrassment they will feel when I show them the pictures when they’re teens.

Sometimes communal bath time casually transforms into anatomical exploration time. And in this time Jillian received the lion’s share of her education in the differences between boys and girls. Lately Dalton has taken to fiddling with his penis in the tub. Nudity in the tub is one of the only occasions he finds his wiener isn't incarcerated by a diaper, and so naturally dives for it every chance he gets. Jillian, observing all this groping, at first took a refreshingly egalitarian approach to male and female genitals, call all of them collectively “butts.” Over time she learned that neither were they butts, nor were they the same. She learned the word vagina and that’s when penises became “vaginas.” One time, on the road home from Thanksgiving with relatives, I took Jillian into a truck stop men’s room so she could pee. After she was done I took my turn. Watching me she said loudly, throughout a rest room filled with weary, surly truck drivers, “You got a big vagina daddy! My daddy’s got a big vagina!” Now we have the whole penis vagina thing straightened out, which is how Jillian came to inform me during her tub time recently, “Dalton is touching his penis.”

“Yes he is.”

“Is that okay?”

“Sure it is.”

“Can I touch my vagina?”

“If you like, but only you can.”

Then she paused to ponder this.

“I want a penis.”

I stopped shaving mid stroke.

“What?”

“If I saw a wishing star, I’d wish for a penis.”

“Why do you want a penis?”

“They’re cool.” I looked at Dalton, thoughtfully yanking away on his. He did look like he was having fun. As an owner of a penis, I have always been fairly pro-penis. But I didn’t want Jillian to develop an inferiority complex over her vagina.

“They are no cooler than a vagina.”

“Yes they are. You can pee when you’re standing up.” Again she had me. Peeing while standing is indeed rad. Quickly I tried to think of a major selling point that would convince her vaginas are great. Everything that came to mind, like having babies and the phenomenon of multiple orgasms, seemed far too lofty to explain to my 4-year-old. And then something just slipped out of my mouth:

“If you had a penis, you’d have to be a boy.”

“Ewwww,” she laughed, her face wrinkling up, “yuck!”

With one deft argument I had swept away any dreams of penile ownership from my daughter’s mind.

What do you guys and gals think? Have you had gender issues at home? Any genital envy amongst your kids?

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The Baby Penis Known Around the World

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:31:00 GMT

"Quite a few people in the world have seen my penis, so that's kinda cool. I'm just a normal kid living it up and doing the best I can while I'm here."

This is from an NPR interview with Spencer Elden, 17. If you shopped in a record store in the 1990s or saw even the remotest glimpse of popular rock bands, you, too, have probably seen his penis.

That's because 17 years ago, Spencer Elden was photographed for the cover of Nirvana's Nevermind -- the album that changed the course of rock music and also had the photo of a cute little baby, naked, swimming after a $1 bill. Turns out the baby grew up, attended military boarding school for six months, plans on traveling and is just your average-sounding high school student -- whose penis is known throughout the world. That's got to help break the ice when chatting with girls, no?

It's worth a read to discover exactly how the poor kid earned his dad $200 by getting tossed "into the drink" and, simultaneously, into rock and roll history.

Penith and Bagina: When Daddy Potty-Trains

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:52:00 GMT

Like many parents, I wasn't overly focused on potty-training my daughters until I noticed that they didn't mind soiling themselves. I started paying more attention when my 4 year old twins were still very very comfortable wearing big girl pants, and when the older of the two shrugged after her regularly occurring accidents and explained, "It's ok, mama." Something had to be done.

So I admire our very own Strollerderby daddy's potty-training saga about encouraging his 2 year old daughter to get comfortable with the little altars everywhere...

MIke's ability to relate his trip to the zoo, with potty-training, and his long-standing fear of grocery checkout lines is brilliant.

When his daughter explains to the nosey checker how Daddy wears big girl pants with monkeys on them, the moment is priceless. And if this isn't a great reason to have kids, I don't know what is.

Estrogen Cream: A “Natural Condom”

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 01:41:00 GMT

Is there anything that penis cream can’t do? Many times I have asked myself that question, and I'm beginning to think the answer is no. University of Melbourne researchers have examined the possibilities of using estrogen to reduce the risk of contracting HIV, with some promising, though still inconclusive, findings.

By slathering a bit of estrogen cream on Mr. Happy at least once week, you naturally thicken the layer of keratin on your penis. Since keratin is insoluble and tough as nails, it presumably creates a natural barrier against the virus—what U. Melbourne professor Roger Short called a “natural condom.” Naturally, the theory has not been tested in actual trials, since that could, uh, kill people. But researchers remain hopeful that estrogen cream will prove more popular—and maybe even more effective—than raincoats of the rubber variety.

Photo: Discover Magazine

Hang On To Your Penis

Adrienne Martini — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 19:00:00 GMT

If you love your penis (or know someone who loves his penis), please keep a watchful eye on it. There are penis thieves on the loose.

In Kinshasa, that is.

The Democratic Republic of Congo cops have arrested 13 alleged sorcerers who used magic to shrink or steal the penises of other men. It's tempting to write this off as a joke but nearby Ghana had a similar series of thefts that ended in 12 suspected penis snatchers being beaten to death.

Kinshasan men are in a panic, reporters claim. No word yet on how Kinshasan women feel about the recent burglaries.

Best of FameCrawler: Week of April 18

Whit Honea — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 20:00:00 GMT

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No Baby Daddy Needed

Adrienne Martini — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Quick, ladies! While the men are distracted by the big game, take a gander at this breakthough in reproductive technology. If science has its way, pretty soon, men won't be needed to make babies.

Turns out, it is completely conceivable that sperm cells could be made out of a woman's bone marrow. This discovery may pave the way for lesbians who want to have biological offspring without adopting or tracking down a donor. Gay men should be able to get in on the marrow action as well. Plus, this could lead to a breakthough in infertility research.

It's still too early to chuck out the penis with the bathwater. Our science fiction future -- the one where women keep men as pets -- isn't here yet. But it is something to keep in mind, just in case.

Image credit: www.blogs.timeunion.com

Strollerderby : penis

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