Strollerderby : pics

The Chubbiest Cheeks You Will Ever See

Brett Singer — Sat, 16 May 2009 21:00:00 GMT

You know the drill. Cute babies. Those cheeks. Oy! Those cheeks! What a punim!

But this is just ridiculous. Look at those things.

Someone on the site I found this on expressed dismay at the size of the cheeks: "omg that should be child abuse letting an infant get that fat! sick!" Someone else responded with "some babies are chubbier than others... " I think it's just the way the photo was shot. But I could be wrong. Cute, though.

Source: wizonk.com

Toddler Jail Break

Brett Singer — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

One of my early memories of hanging out with my son and another father with his two children is as follows. The kids suddenly start to run ahead of us, and the other father shouted out, "Hey! Get back here! I don't want any jailbreaks!"

For some reason this stuck with me and I've used the phrase often since then. I initially thought it was unique, but I've heard a lot of other parents use it. It makes a good deal of sense. Kids don't think much about safety. Rules are, by nature, restrictive. Don't cross the street there, hold my hand, put down that flaming stick. Annoying stuff like that. To some kids, it probably feels like prison.

Which is why this picture is so hilarious.

I can just imagine the toddler's thought process. "Digging the tunnel is taking too darn long. Have you ever tried digging with one of those plastic spoons? So when that big lady with the food is distracted, I'll just make a break for it."

In my house, once I realized that Thing 2 could manipulate the bottom lock on our front door unassisted, I always make sure that the top lock is secure. By the time he's tall enough to reach that one, one hopes that he'll realize what a good deal he's got at home.

Anyone have any Toddler Escape Prevention Tips? As I've said before, it takes a village.

Source: The Life of The Party of 5, "You Know You're a Bad Mother When... "

The Funkiest Dancing Kid Ever – Part 2

Gloria Allred Sits On A Booster Seat

Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

Peeper Madness - Crazy For Peeps

Brett Singer — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 14:30:00 GMT

I thought I was into Peeps. I mean, I am. They're tasty. (Some would say sexy. I wouldn't. But some would.) They make great dioramas. And you can control your Wii with them.

But Aaron at Unlikely Words is REALLY into Peeps. So much so that he wrote "Marshmallow Peeps On the Internet - A Study," a collection of over 150 links to pages praising the perfection of the Peep. Actually, that sentence was mostly written for its alliterative properties; some of the sites Aaron links to don't much like Peeps at all.

Housekeeping note: It's Easter Sunday, which means that Peep time has ended. But not really. The day after Easter is when the Peeps go on sale. You can wait a few extra days to get them really cheap (no pun intended), but that's risking having no Peeps at all. So pick up a couple of packs for your kids. And ten or twelve for yourself. They are on sale, after all.

More Peeper Madness

Peeper Madness - Supeep Court

Peeper Madness – Nude Peeps

Peeper Madness - Peeps On The Pole

Peeper Madness - Control Your Wii With Peeps (VIDEO)

Peeper Madness - Control Your Wii With Peeps

Brett Singer — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 23:00:00 GMT

In a very real way I don't want to think about how this is possible.

Do Peeps contain some substance that acts as a conductor for Bluetooth, the wireless technology in the Wii-motes? If so, could you use a Peep as a cellphone headset? Could a Peep replace your wireless mouse? And if you eat too many, could some nefarious ne'er do well control you? The mind boggles. Or perhaps I've just eaten too many Peeps.

Source: Gizmodo via Buzzfeed

More Peeper Madness

Peeper Madness – Nude Peeps

Peeper Madness - Peeps On The Pole

Peeper Madness - Supeep Court

Brett Singer — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:30:00 GMT

This bit of Peeper Madness is inspired. The facial expressions (such as they are; Peeps are not known for their emotional range) are priceless. As the artist who created this image puts it, "The Supreme Court is a wonderful, serious institution of high-minded thinking. Therefore, what better way to memorialize their noble work but in peeps?"

See more Peep-a-rific pics here.

Source: Chicago Tribune via Buzzfeed

More Peeper Madness

Peeper Madness – Nude Peeps

Peeper Madness - Peeps On The Pole

Babies in Tuxedos

Brett Singer — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

I may be a cranky so-and-so but I'm also a bit of a mush. Case in point: these pictures of babies in tuxedos. They're cute. What can I tell ya? Try and look at these and not say "awww" at least once.

I had to add another one from TuxyBear.com because it was too cute to ignore. It's also a one-piece tux, which sounds complicated to invent. So I'm impressed, although I wonder how tough it would be to do an emergency diaper change with a one-piece tuxedo.

This one, from ClassicBabyTux.com, moves. Which makes it the winner.

Source: urlesque via buzzfeed

Gloria Allred Sits On A Booster Seat

Baby Einstein Wants You To Feel Good About TV

Spiderman Rescues Autistic Boy

Keep This Kid Away From The Dog

Brett Singer — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Is there anything cuter than a little child and his dog? Playing, laughing, enjoying the wonders of life.

Before you answer, you'll want to see the rest of this picture.

Oops. Looks like junior's got a little explaining to do. What's he going to say? The dog did it to himself?

I do wonder why whoever took this photo didn't stop the future tattoo artist. Maybe it was an older brother looking to get a bigger bedroom.

Source: Screencast

Read more:

Jimmy Kimmel And The Octomom

Will Ferrell's Landlord Retires From Comedy

Wolverine Blow Up Toy

Photo - Obama Shocked by Schoolkids

Stroller As Gun Rack

Brett Singer — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 21:00:00 GMT

I'm not a hunter, so I'd never heard of a "shooting cart" before. At first glance, my reaction to this was similar to that of Internet entrepreneur Jason Calcanis, who seems amazed by its very existence. Or one of his commenters, who says, "ha, ha...you know you're a redneck when...."

Looking more closely, though, it seems that this is not an uncommon item. From another commenter: "I actually know several people that have these. They are used for 3 gun competitions because it is very hard to safely carry 3 guns around a shooting range. They are built from the ground up as a shooting cart. This is not a stroller it just looks like one." Greg at DaddyTypes also points out that this is a normal looking item – if you hunt.

Despite the fact that it's not really a stroller, I do think it would be fun if our favorite soldier mom who gave birth in her barracks used this to transport her budle of joy. I mean, come on. We all need a good chuckle these days.

Initial commie-pinko-liberal reaction aside ("OMG HOW CAN YOU PUT A BABY IN THAT THING THATS SO WRONG LOL"), I have to admit that as my younger son rapidly outgrows his stroller, I'd been wondering what to do with it. Maybe I can start hunting, or just look like I am. Rolling this down Second Avenue would definitely get me attention in Manhattan.

Source: Jason Calcanis via DaddyTypes

Morning News - Cheney, Duct Tape, Outer Space

UPDATE - Austrian Incest Dad Pleads Guilty To Some Charges

OctoMom Video Blog at RadarOnline

Why You Should Check Even Little Kids Homework

Brett Singer — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 23:00:00 GMT

This is making the email rounds and I thought I would share it with you.

In general, I feel like my children should be responsible for their own homework. At the moment they are too young to be doing complex math problems or writing 20 page reports. But they might get an assignment like this one: "Draw a picture of one of your parents at work."

So what exactly is mommy doing in this adorable little example of kiddie art?

Well, get your mind out of the gutter people – according to this blog, Mommy is in retail. She works at Home Depot. And that's a shovel. The other people are customers who would like to purchase the shovel, as well as other home improvement supplies.

Why? Does it look like she's doing something else? What do you mean?

Ann Coulter had no comment on the image. But she would probably say it was a single mother.

Source: yewnorkbabe, and 4,000 email forwards

Obama/Spider-man Comic Book Sold Out, Reprint Planned

Mom Saves Kids From Sinking SUV

Babble Talk: Points For Honesty

Kids to Obama: Read Books, Eat More Ice Cream

UPDATE: Kid Kissing A Pig - The Musical

Organic Dreams or Toxic Nightmares? You Pick

VIDEO: I Kissed a Pig (And I Liked It)

Brett Singer — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 19:00:00 GMT

This kid really likes that pig. That's some kiss.

I feel a song coming on…

I kissed a pig / And I liked it! / Tasted just like / a B L T
I kissed a pig / And I liked it! / Hope my friends don't / make fun of me…

UPDATE:

Actually, here's the song, along with a video:

I think it's gonna be a big, big hit.

The follow-up shows what might happen if they grow up, get married, and have children of their own.

I think that’s still illegal in most states, however. But now that a Democrat will be President, it'll be Sodom and Gomorrah before we know it. So perhaps there is hope for the happy couple.

On a semi-serious note, this is kind of gross but I think all kids do it. Not quite to this extent, however. I can't imagine either of my children getting to first base with a barnyard animal, even when they were babies. Then again, we're Jewish, and while we're not Kosher, we do tend to avoid pork. Then again, a little bacon never hurt anyone…

Source: Buzzfeed

Rare Baby Rhinos Found

Are Email Holiday Cards Tacky?

Babble Talk: Points For Honesty

Babble Talk: Did Mommy Get New Boobies?

Stuff You Never Thought You'd Say -- Winter Edition

Lego Santa Crab Will Frighten Children Into Being Good All Year

Who's Cuter – The Cat Or The Baby?

Brett Singer — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:00:00 GMT

Not that it’s a contest. But it is a fair question.

Personally, I'm much more of a dog person, so I'd have to go with the baby. If this were a puppy, there might be a competition for my vote. But since I became a parent, I've become a sucker for babies. So even if its a Cocker Spaniel pup instead of that cat, I'd still probably go with the human child.

How about you? Anyone think the cat is cuter than the baby?

Source: BuzzFeed

Read more:

Two Pictures Of Kids In Gaza

Brett Singer — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 19:30:00 GMT

Warning: These shots will probably make you want to hug your kids immediately.

For me, the hardest part of any war/conflict/disaster is the human side. Now that I'm a parent, if that human face belongs to a child, it's that much harder to see.

This photo was on the front page of the New York Times today. Here's the caption: "A Palestinian boy with Russian citizenship was among the foreigners whom Israel allowed to leave Gaza on Friday." (source)

Here's another shot of kids leaving Gaza. (source)

MSNBC is reporting that Israeli ground troops are crossing the Gaza border (source, breaking news). Regardless of how you feel about the situation, seeing these photos of kids caught up in the whole thing should make you wish for a speedy resolution to it all. Or at least one that lets the kids get out while they still can. I never really understood the idea of "women and children first", something that I remember hearing a lot on old cartoons and disaster movies (and cartoons that were parodies of disaster movies). These pictures definitely drive that point home.

Photos: New York Times

China Detains Dad of Baby Sickened by Tainted Milk

New Year Morning News

Grieving Chinese Parents Not Allowed To Sue

Boy Saves Brother's Life With Bone Marrow

Infant Twins Safe After Newark Carjacking

Babysitter Made Pornographic Film With 2 Year Old

Rare Baby Rhinos Found

Brett Singer — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 17:00:00 GMT

If this doesn't prove that all babies, human or animal, are cute, I don't know what does.

Agus Primabudi of the Ujung Kulon National Park in West Java, Indonesia told reporters that scientists found "Four Javan rhinos of six to seven months" on the beach while doing field research. The Javan rhino is the rarest rhino species of all.

Mostly I'm posting this because the pictures are kind of cute, if a bit grainy. But I also like to think that perhaps this means that there are species out there that we thought were extinct but really aren't. It's a big world, after all, no matter what Disney says.

Plus this post you can show to your kids, unlike the EVIL LEGO SANTA CRAB.

Source: Yahoo News

Lego Santa Crab Will Frighten Children Into Being Good All Year

Stuff You Never Thought You'd Say -- Winter Edition

Fisher Price Chompin' Croc

Toddler Befriends an Orphaned Baby Orangutan

Kid and Kangaroo Best of Friends

Is Miley Cyrus' First Photo Shoot Creepy?

Brett Singer — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:15:00 GMT

Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz's first photo shoot has surfaced. The shots were taken back in 2002, and some of them are way creepy. At least that's my opinion. You may feel differently. Let's take a look, shall we?

Some of the images are fairly tame, even for kiddie modeling shots.

Then comes the belly shirt. And the quasi-pouty face.

Actually, I can't decide if this last one is a pout or a "Why am I doing this?" expression.

I'm not a big fan of putting your kids into the entertainment industry. There are obviously cases where the kid wants to do it, and sometimes the kid wants to do it and actually has some talent. But how does a parent participate in a photo shoot where their daughter is wearing a midriff-bearing t-shirt? I feel a bit creepy just writing about this.

Here's a shot with, I think, Miley's mommy.

Not sure if this was candid or staged. I’m thinking staged. She appears to be primping Miley Ray Whatever for the next shot. Either way it's… well, I can't come up with a better word than creepy. And I'm not sure I need to.

One thing for sure – the next time Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz and her crew complain that Annie Leibovitz or some other celebrity photog somehow tricked them into a racy photo spread, we need not take that seriously for even a second.

As little girl role models go, Miley is certainly better than Tila Tequila or Britney Spears. But would you want your daughter dressing like this? And would you take pictures of it? This isn't JonBenet Ramsey creepy, but it's close. What exactly are you going for when you dress a ten-year-old girl (the age she was in the shoot) like this?

I know I’m getting all moral majority butthead on you. But what do you think of these pics? (Links to the full gallery, which is enormous, are below if you really want to see them all.) Creepy? Not creepy? Would you let your daughter do a photo spread like this at age 10?

Source: MileyWorld via OceanUp via Buzzfeed

Mark Wahlberg Thinks Britney & Paris Make Crappy Role Models

Yet Another Generation of Young Girl Popfatuations

Babble Giveaway: Win a LeapFrog Didj + Hannah Montana Game! (Ends 12/1)

Suri Cruise: Most Powerful Child On The Planet

Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 1)

Name Guru Picks Eight Worst Celeb Kid Names of 2008 (Part 2)

Nine-Year-Old Lothario Gets Movie Deal

Another non news photo

Brett Singer — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMT

This one doesn't even feature cute animals.

It's a bit of street art from Banksy, who I guess saw these phone booths and had one of those Ah-HA! moments. Kinda fun. Hey, anything for a smile these days, right?

Source: banksy via arollerskatingjam

More posts that have no news value whatsoever:

Video of baby panda playing

Awww…a baby otter…

Look! Over Here! Baby Animals!

Sunday Cute Shot: Tony and Hayley

Sunday Cute Shot: Cynthia and Eliza

Enormous baby sculpture

Banned Books Week: Where's Waldo?

The unhealthiest food ever

The Babble List: 25 Great Children's TV Shows That Aren't On DVD

The Babble List: The Best Candy Ever

Greatdad.com's Husband Of The Year awards

Brett Singer — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 18:00:00 GMT

No, it's not Kevin Federline, Charlie Sheen, or even that guy from the Black Crowes. These are just regular fellas who really, truly, go out of their way to make sure that their wives are comfortable. Check out these photos:

See? What a bunch of great dudes. (And by "great" I mean "Wow, if I did any of these things my wife would throw me in the river wearing cement shoes.")

See the full collection -- and find out who wins top honors -- here.

images/source: Greatdad.com

Before and after baby pics from TMZ

Parody of Mother's Plea to John McCain

5 Things Most Parents Hate to Hear First Thing in the Morning

And Now - The Gay Brain

Rich guy pretends to be gynecologist to see women naked

MILF Alert! Who's Bikini Bod Is This?

Sizzlin' Hot Celebumoms - Bikini Photos!

From TMZ: Hooker Moms

Brett Singer — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:00:00 GMT

I'm not a celebrity gossip news obsessive but I like the occasional BritneyAngelinaAmericanIdolPamAnderson Whatever story as much as the next red-blooded American. (Anyone who doesn't is, naturally, a communist. So now you know.) But we've come a long way from the days of Walter Winchell, or even Liz Smith.

TMZ posted a photo gallery called "Hooker Moms." When I saw the title, I actually thought it was, you know, moms who are now or at one time were prostitutes, or maybe strippers or porn stars or something else from the sex trade. In fact, it's just a bunch of mamacitas wearing outfits ranging from slightly unfortunate to seriously slutty.

Now here's the thing: would you really want to be on a list called "Hooker Moms"? Do you really want your kids to see something like that? In Pamela Anderson's case, she's going to have a lot of 'splaining to do once her boys find out about her most famous movie role (her kids are teenagers so they probably already know.) Even so, who needs this type of thing? Is it just the price they pay for being famous and suckling at the teat of notoriety? (There's a sentence for you.) Can TMZ and their ilk ever cross a line and go too far? "Poshtitute Spice?" Are there places even they won't go? Or is it all just harmless fun?

image: TMZ

C-Section For Jamie-Lynn Spears Baby

Ashlee Simpsons Likes Cake, Shuns Bras

Lindsay Lohan's (Fake) Baby Bump

Parenting: What's In It For Me?

Denise Richards still trying to prove she's insane

Before and after baby pics from TMZ

Brett Singer — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:33:00 GMT

TMZ has a gallery of before and after pregnancy photos of various celebrities; I won't list the names because in our gossip-fueled media, you probably know who they all are.

Whenever I see something like this I think of an interview that Ricki Lake did with David Letterman a few years back. Ricki was talking about how much weight she had lost, and said something to Dave about how it was difficult but worth it (or something like that, I can't find a clip.) Letterman, in his low-key midwestern way, said something very memorable: "when you make the kind of money we do, it's a lot easier to stay in shape."

I'm paraphrasing but the point is that a person of means can hire a trainer, a chef, or whatever they need if they require help in shedding extra pounds. Most people, however, can't. When I see "look how thing she is" stories, I'm always curious who the trainer is. This isn't to say that someone who isn't flush with moolah can't lose weight. It's just nice when they acknowledge that they have help.

Of course, some of the women did better than others in the weight-loss department. But blaming all the weight gain on the baby, especially in the case of Britney (y'all!) seems kind of unfair. Sure, it's tough to get back to pre-baby weight, but it's even tougher when all you do is eat corn dogs all day (y'all).

As for the others: Julianna Margulies doesn't look much different. Melissa Joan Hart looks like a real parent – tired. Nicole Ritchie appears to be at a normal weight when pregnant as opposed to her skin and bones thing. And based on this photo, Christina Aguilera seems to have gained weight only in her chest. Check 'em out for yourself if you like that kind of thing.

image: TMZ

Best of FameCrawler: Week of May 16th

Whit Honea — Fri, 16 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Angelina Jolie is a Big, Fat Liar!!

You Can Spot A Pregnant Britney By The Size Of Her Handbag

Five Hottest Pregnant Celebrities

Beyoncé Is Pregnant and Packing On The Pounds

Claudia Schiffer Topless!

Angelina's Pregnant Bikini Bod - Can We Hate Her?

Survivor Finale: Baby Scandal!

Let's Talk About Ashlee Simpson's Boobs!

Best of FameCrawler: Week of May 2nd

Whit Honea — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair Photos: Annie Leibovitz Speaks

Oprah Reveals Scoop On Tom Cruise Interview

Jessica Alba- A Bra Would Only Slow Her Down

Lourdes Looks Like A Young Angelina Jolie?

Claudia Shiffer and Daughter Clementine

Melissa Joan Hart Has Her Pre-Baby Body Back

Kate Hudson Tops People's Most Beautiful People List

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Married...and Expecting?

Courteney Cox Getting Baby Help from Friend

More Halle Berry Post Baby Body Pics!

Best of FameCrawler: Week of April 25th

Whit Honea — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Kat Moss Stands Up to Pee

Brad & Angelina's Quiet Wedding

Halle Berry Is No Couch Potato

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Are Like A Dog and His Owner

Jonas Bros Defend Miley's Bra-Baring Skank Pics, But Still No Word From Daddy

And The Most Embarassing Parent Award Goes To...

Lourdes Looks Like Mama Madonna

Bridget Moynihan Has Style Advice And So Do I

Mark Wahlberg Adding on to the Funky Bunch

Miley Cyrus' New Boyfriend Revealed!