Strollerderby : picture

Toddler Jail Break

Brett Singer — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

One of my early memories of hanging out with my son and another father with his two children is as follows. The kids suddenly start to run ahead of us, and the other father shouted out, "Hey! Get back here! I don't want any jailbreaks!"

For some reason this stuck with me and I've used the phrase often since then. I initially thought it was unique, but I've heard a lot of other parents use it. It makes a good deal of sense. Kids don't think much about safety. Rules are, by nature, restrictive. Don't cross the street there, hold my hand, put down that flaming stick. Annoying stuff like that. To some kids, it probably feels like prison.

Which is why this picture is so hilarious.

I can just imagine the toddler's thought process. "Digging the tunnel is taking too darn long. Have you ever tried digging with one of those plastic spoons? So when that big lady with the food is distracted, I'll just make a break for it."

In my house, once I realized that Thing 2 could manipulate the bottom lock on our front door unassisted, I always make sure that the top lock is secure. By the time he's tall enough to reach that one, one hopes that he'll realize what a good deal he's got at home.

Anyone have any Toddler Escape Prevention Tips? As I've said before, it takes a village.

Source: The Life of The Party of 5, "You Know You're a Bad Mother When... "

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No one can look more terrifying than a kid. Demon-children make the best monsters, maybe because there's something so terrifying about looking innocent but being heartless. Like Disaster Girl. She scares me.

Okay, now Disaster Girl is actually a picture of a kid with a Mona Lisa-like smaile and sinister expression near a fire. Now folks have photoshopped her into many tragedies, documenting her reign of terror. There's a couple here, but you should totally check out the full gallery. And maybe even make one of your own. Mwah ha ha.

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Is it fair to take pictures of Britney's kids?

Brett Singer — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:53:00 GMT

You may have heard about the photographs of Britney Spears smoking while 2-year-old Sean Preston was playing with her cigarette lighter. Well, the actual photo doesn't quite show that. Here it is:

Now, far be it from me to disagree with the celebrity media machine, but this doesn't look as bad as it sounds. In this pic she looks to be taking the cigarettes away from her child. That would be the right thing to do. The better thing to do would be to not smoke at all, and especially not in front of your kids. Second-hand smoke is very dangerous, especially to little lungs. It also makes me wonder if she was smoking while pregnant, which would be much worse. My guess – and I have nothing to back this up – is that she probably was. As a former smoker, I know how hard it is to quit, and it looks to me like the Britster is quite the nicotine addict.

Here's the part that gets me: the photos were taken at her house. Why? Presumably a photog with a mega-ultra-zoom lens – a "Pavarotti", as El Federline famously referred to them on his ill-fated rap album – was suspended from a helicopter or something and took the shot through her window or on her balcony.

She's a celebrity, and over 18 (although emotionally she might be, like, 12, but let's not go there). But her kids aren't. Not to sound like a celebrity defending dipstick ("LEAVE...BRITNEY...ALONE!"), but maybe there should be a law that prevents the kids from being photographed, at least when they're at home. As someone points out over at MomLogic, they didn't ask to be in this bizarre situation.

There are celebrities whose children you almost never see candid pictures of – Madonna, Howard Stern, Christie Brinkley, and I'm sure there are dozens more that I can't think of at the moment. Of course, those people aren't the unbelievable mess that Brit appears to be. At best, this photo shows poor judgment on her part, not only the smoking but also hanging out with her kid in front of an open window where a sleazoid photographer can get a clear shot. Um, curtains? A really high hedge? Move someplace else?

Of course, if nobody wanted to see the pictures, they wouldn't be worth anything, and photographers wouldn't take them. But that's a different topic.

Here are the rest of the photos. Hey, at least she looks pretty good in her bikini.

images: popsugar.com

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Pregnant Woman Apprehends a Thief

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 12:00:00 GMT

The first thing 32-year-old Nadine Bevis did after she found out that she was pregnant was—stop a knife-wielding thief. Perhaps pregnancy hormones contain some crime busting agents.

Driving home from the doctor’s office, Bevis saw a man grab a boy’s bike. She immediately pulled over, got out of the car, and rushed toward the would-be thief. Even though the man was carrying two knives, Bevis was too pissed to be scared. “I can still see the boy’s poor little face,” she said. “He couldn’t catch his breath he was crying so much.”

Bevis blocked the assailant’s path, said, “Smile for the camera,” and snapped a photo of the man, named John King. Two other passersby then tackled the man to the ground, disarming him and restraining him until police arrived. King has admitted to the robbery and now faces a lengthy prison sentence.

The 14-year-old victim, who was very shaken up by the attempted theft, has said that he hopes he gets a chance to thank his real-life guardian angels in person.

Although Bevis realizes she was putting herself in danger, she has no regrets about intervening. “Too many people stand by and let this happen—I wasn’t going to be one of them,” she said. “Otherwise thugs will think they can get away with it.”

Not if there are any expectant mothers around, they won’t.

Image: Flickr

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Crafty: Mother's Day Quickie

Adrienne Martini — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:00:00 GMT

You put it off again, didn't you? Mother's Day is just around the corner and you're floundering around for a meaningful but not too tedious handmade gift that expresses all of your love for your mom. Here's one idea.

With one quick trip to a craft store, you can make this photo fridge clip for mom. Plus, it can have glitter on it. As long as it's not all over her nice, clean floor, all moms love glitter.

If you're really feeling guilty, the best part may be what you choose to put in the clip before you wrap it and hand it off. Think of the possibilities. A massage gift certificate. Tickets to Bermuda. Two weeks worth of maid service. Or, even better, all three.

You can thank me later.

Photo credit: Craftster user AidanNia