Strollerderby : post partum depression

Did This Woman Commit Suicide Because She Couldn't Breastfeed?

Brett Singer — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:37:00 GMT

MomLogic points us to a sad story from the Daily Mail. Katy Isden, a British woman who lived in New York City, committed suicide last year. The police report says that she depressed because she was having difficulty breastfeeding her child.

Before I say anything, this is a terribly sad story. It's awful that Ms. Isden felt so horrible that she ended her life.

The only thing wrong about that last statement is that I really don't know why she killed herself. I realize that the report says it was because she had trouble breastfeeding. By framing the issue this way, doesn't that help to create more pressure for women? Not only is there pressure from "nipple-nazis", but there's pressure to not feel pressured.

Why not call it post-partum depression? I interviewed Lisa Rinna recently about her upcoming book (an interview she was very happy with, by the way -- she even tweeted it) and one of the things she talked about openly was her own battle with PPD. She said that she felt uncomfortable telling anyone she was depressed, because "After having a baby, you're supposed to feel so blissful." By talking about her own experiences, she hopes that other women will be able to seek help if they need it.

MomLogic asks if "there is too much pressure put on moms to breastfeed." I have a different question. Do you think this mother committed suicide because she was having trouble breastfeeding?

Source: Daily Mail via MomLogic

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Congress Looks at Postpartum Depression Support

JeanneSager — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:37:00 GMT

Unless you're Tom Cruise, you probably have some sense that postpartum depression is very real and moms could use a heck of a lot more support.

A bill winding its way through both houses of Congress could finally make postpartum depression awareness a priority in the country, along with making it easier for mothers to apply for and access treatment.

The Melanie Blocker Stokes Act, named for a new mother who took her life eight years ago, was introduced in the House of Representatives last year but floundered. Now it's back, with bills reintroduced in the House AND the Senate in 2009. According to a group stumping for supporters who will write to their Congressman begging for passage, the act "would mandate research on the benefits of screening for PPD, and it would also create programs to deliver outpatient, inpatient and home-based health and support services, including services that would promote earlier diagnosis and treatment."

Estimates put the numbers of women who suffer from postpartum depression at one in ten, but as this post from the Perinatal Pro blog correctly points out, women are often hesitant to ask for help - as much because they don't understand the true symptoms as because of a fear of looking like a bad mother. Less than two tenths of a percent of women suffer from a postpartum psychosis (think Susan Smith or Andrea Yates), but because of the intense media attention, many women think their symptoms have to be that extreme to be diagnosed with PPD.

In reality, the symptoms can be as simple as an inability to sleep even when the baby is sleeping, uncontrollable crying, massive changes in appetite or feelings of guilt. They sound like the symptoms of a lot of new moms - the issue is the degree to which they appear. Women need to know there's a way out - and getting proper treatment and support services is a big part of that. Take it from a mom who knows.

Want to help get it passed? All it takes is your name, address and zip code, and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance will send an e-mail directly to your Congressman asking him or her to vote yes on this bill.

Image: National Institutes of Health (for more information on PPD)

Mom Sells Daughter's Soul to a British Tabloid - Figuratively Speaking

JeanneSager — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 22:06:00 GMT

There are days go by when your kids drive you nuts, no question. But do you ever stop loving them?

If you did, would you tell a British tabloid?

Shelley Price got the burden of eleven years off her chest to the Daily Mail this week, telling the paper she just can't bring herself to love the little girl she had with an ex-boyfriend eleven years ago.

"I know what people will think. Everyone will hate me. I'm the woman who doesn't like her own child. But I'm speaking out because I'm convinced I'm not alone," she told the paper.

I don't actually doubt her words. As a mom who went through a bout of postpartum depression (fixed by good drugs, take that Tom Cruise), I can identify with a mother's apathy. Fortunately, there is nothing but love for my daughter coursing through my veins these days, but I am willing to bet there are mothers whose depression never gets the appropriate treatment. There too are mothers who kill, mothers who abuse, mothers who neglect their children - a sure sign that not every mother is consumed by pure love for their offspring. What's more, there are mothers who perhaps got pregnant and never should - who (dare I say it?) should have gone for an abortion. We're not all made to be parents. Physically, perhaps. But mentally? Emotionally?

Price says she was meant to be a parent. Her proof? She's got nothing but love for her second daughter, two-year-old Poppy.

Which makes this story all the more cruel. Price has spoken out about her plight just as eleven-year-old Catherine is hitting puberty, a time when a pre-teen's life is already in upheaval. Adding the knowledge that her mother doesn't love her, and the whole world knows took the burden off of Shelley Price and put it squarely on the shoulders of her hormonal tween daughter. Throw in her mother's assertion that she loves her younger daughter, and gone too is the comfort that "maybe her mother wasn't made to love" or "maybe her mother has a condition of some sort." There is simply no rationalizing the facts away. The likely option a child will turn to is "there must be something wrong with me," when it's very clear to adults that the fault lies with Shelley Price.

As a parent, it is our job to protect our children. Period. From the day a child is delivered (or adopted), they become our main priority. But Shelley Price has put her own discomfort first, and by opening up "for other mothers," she has sounded the death knell for her daughter's innocence.

Perhaps this child could already tell her mother didn't love her (old-fashioned sibling rivalry, if nothing else, would likely have brought that to light). Now her mother has removed all doubt. For children, who depend on their parents not only as their first line of defense but as a stumbling block, there's always that knowledge that their parents are the sole source of unconditional love.

A little girl has lost that, and her mother gets to feel better about herself because she's "done a service" to other mothers. Shelley Price says she's now going to work to improve her relationship with her eldest daughter. "'I can't change the past, but I'm hoping we can make our relationship better. I want to put it right, but perhaps it's too late for that."

She's sold her daughter's soul, and she can't get that back.

Source: The Daily Mail has removed the original story, but the piece is still available in full at We Kid You Not

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Does Childbirth Cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 21:48:00 GMT

“I call childbirth my very own Vietnam. You weren’t there, maaaan.” So writes a playful Jezebel reader. But the study that she’s responding to is no joke: the Wall Street Journal reports that 9 percent of women suffer from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) caused by childbirth.

While I am all for airing any form of emotional trauma so that the sufferers can be treated and healed, I am partly sympathetic to Jezebel’s skeptical take on this new study by Childbirth Connection (a nonprofit organization). Something about applying the term PTSD to childbirth irks me. Post traumatic stress disorder is most commonly associated with war veterans and victims of extreme violence; applying it to new mothers makes maternity seem like a pathology. Plus, Jezebel writer Jessica points out that the incidence of PTSD in postpartum women, according to this new study, is the same as the incidence of PTSD-like anxiety experienced by the general population.

On the other hand, there’s no denying the fact that some births are so riddled with problems that “traumatic” is the only way to describe them. Take the case of Liv Lane, who, after 29 hours in labor, gave birth to an infant with a collapsed lung. Her baby was immediately taken away from her with no explanation, and her requests for more pain medication were ignored. At her postpartum checkup, she told the nurse practitioner that she was suicidal and couldn’t stop crying. The nurse suggested that she read some parenting magazines and sent her home.

Perhaps this study reflects not the inherent trauma of childbirth, but the trauma of inadequate medical care in highly stressful situations.

Any mothers out there who have suffered from traumatic birth experiences? Do you think that even births that go smoothly could cause PTSD in some women?

Photo: National Library of Medecine

Strollerderby Playdate: Dooce's Husband Speaks Up About Depression

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:48:00 GMT

If you'd like to understand clinical depression, especially post-partum related depression, read Dooce. If you want to laugh and cry and understand the ins and outs of parenting while mentally ill, you'll be glad you did. Furthermore, if you want to understand what it's like to live with mental illness while untereated, read this.

But what of the spouses and partners of people who struggle with mental illness? Turns out, Dooce's husband has an incredible riches of experience to share on this topic...

Late last month, on Blurbomat.com Dooce's usually non-blogging husband, Jon, spoke up about what it's like to live with a partner who is clinically depressed or mentally ill. He discusses the usual topics of self-care and the benefits of talk therapy, but with an obviously hard-won maturity that is truly impressive.

Living with clinical depression or another mental illness isn't easy, but one can imagine that being the partner of this person might in some cases be even more difficult, especially when children are involved.

PSA For PPD

Amy Kuras — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:05:00 GMT

If post-partum depression got you – or somebody you care about – you know it's very, very real and nothing to mess around with. Researchers at Illinois State University are conducting a study that compares garden-variety depression and anxiety with postpartum depression.
The study is in two parts— one for pregnant women past 26 weeks, and one for women 6 weeks to 6 months after giving birth. They are looking to see if a specific diagnostic tool used for regular depression predicts postpartum depression if given before a women gives birth.
Researcher Leslie Davis said she hopes to get 200 matched responses for the survey from women who are currently pregnant and take the survey before and after they give birth, although the survey is set up so that data from any eligible participants can be used whether they take one part of the survey or both. So far they need more pregnant women to take the survey, Davis said.
No identifying data will be collected for the survey, although participants can opt to be entered in a prize lottery if they wish. Every participant will be identified by a self-chosen code number.
To take the survey – it took me about five minutes -- click here. It could help thousands of families, and it certainly couldn’t hurt.

Tragic Death of Manhattan Mother Preventable

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:29:00 GMT

New Yorker Carol Gotbaum was a 45-year old mother of three young children on her way to alcohol treatment in Arizona when she died in airport police custody. Her death, apparently a suicide (though it's under investigation) was entirely tragic and completely preventable. A woman suffering from depression and alcoholism simultaneously, whose husband called airport security (too late) to warn them of her precarious state of mind...

Ms. Gotbaum had stopped on her journey to call her children (off to public school for the day) and was arrested by airport police after breaking down in the terminal (she'd reached the end of her rope and cried out at one point: "I'm not a terrorist. Just a pathetic depressed mother.") Judith Warner asks us to consider this woman's plight not in terms of our possible freedom from addiction and disease but in terms of human kindness and understanding: "Have you never ...almost lost it?"

Whether you have or haven't (and I'd make a good bet that most of us have lost it a good time or too, without the help of alcohol, depression, or drugs), the level of ignorance about illness in our culture, makes the suffering of women like Carol Gotbaum so much worse than it needs to be. She didn't have to die.

And all I can think about is her three children (all 7 and under) and husband who've lost their beloved wife and mother --just because some ill-trained security officers didn't know from despair.

Where's the Love? Why Gen X Parents Complain About Raising Kids

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:57:00 GMT

People often complain that modern parents are overly negative. Unlike our mythical pioneer predecessors who birthed in fields while churning butter and washing clothes in buckets, we like to jaw about sleep deprivation and post-partum depression while sipping lattes and driving around in air conditioned cars. We also love to describe (in gory detail) good reasons not to have kids, the deceptive pre-kid fantasies that lure us into making babies, and the frequent problems associated with parenting young children. Why all this fuss over something that has been going on since time immemorial? Are we just wimpy pessimists so wrapped up in our own narcissism that we can't make time for a wee stinky person? Worse still, are we so busy "being real" about our struggles we're missing all the wonderful things about raising kids?

Our generation came of age during Watergate and skyrocketing divorce rates. To say we're somewhat suspicious of holly lolly happiness is probably an understatement. But to dismiss our cynicism as indicative of a true lack of joy is also a mistake.

Much of what is written (here at Babble for example) assumes readers can tell the difference between silliness and real commentary about the deep existential problems of parenting. Do we sometimes err on the side of covering the gritty underbelly of raising kids? Probably. But is there some real value in these discussions? Absolutely.

Our particular generation's approach to describing parenting is more a reaction against ninny saccharine "raising children is the most amazing joy you'll ever feel. EVER!" than an indication that we can only describe the parenting experience as the glass half empty.

Most of us, underneath our suspicion and sleep deprivation are consistently amazed at our capacity to love (see? cue muzak) and work hard and sacrifice for our children. My daughter often tells me she loves me "bigger than the world" and honestly I couldn't describe my feelings any better.

Weekly Check-Up: Post-Natal Exercise Is Good

Kelly Mills — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 13:31:00 GMT

Okay new moms, are you ready to sweat? That was me doing my best aerobics instructor voice. But it's true, post-natal exercise can be helpful for all the reasons this nice personal trainer Tracey Mallett hits us with:

Helps to reduce post-natal depression known as the “baby blues”
Quicker recovery back to your pre-pregnancy body
Increased much-needed energy
Stress release (time to focus on yourself)

She also shares a good exercise for diastasis recti, a.k.a. "what the hell happened to my abs?" Sorry, but when baby needs room to expand, sometimes there's a little eminent domain involved. Overall the tips here are fabulous, though I'll add one to the ways to find time to exercise: if you have a partner or neighbor or relative who will watch the baby, go forth and exercise. I never had the discipline to get up early and go running until I was a new mom, and jogging was my alone time. All of the sudden panting, lumbering, and perspiring looked so much more appealing.

While Tracey urges patience with your post-natal body, I'm going to be the bearer of some possibly bad news: be more patient than that even. When she says it may take a few months or possibly longer to get your pre-pregnancy body back, she's being optimistic. I like nine months on, nine months off, minimum. Oh, I know there's some of you who were back in pre-preg jeans at like two weeks post-partum, but you probably had good genes too and some of us resent you a little for even sharing that tidbit. And to go one step further: "Be patient and your body will be back to normal in no time." Normal is a funny thing. If you ignore the fanny pack of extra skin around your middle and the fact that your boobs crave some time with your shoes, then sure, I'll buy it. But my pre-pregnancy body is like my twenty-year-old skin: not coming back. It's okay though, cuz there's plenty of moms who will commiserate with you.

Fathers Fight For Equality, In PPD

Melissa Summers — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 19:14:00 GMT

A new study from Eastern Virginia Medical School's Center for Pediatric Research found that nearly as many new dads suffered signs of depression as new mothers do. The study looked at 5,000 two-parent families and found around 14 percent of mothers and 10 percent of fathers suffered signs of moderate to severe postpartum depression.

Well, of course fathers suffer, what with the ripped vaginas, roller coaster hormone ride and leaking boobs....oh wait....

Researchers say this finding is important since it's been a long held belief that the moderate to severe postpartum depression experienced by women is a result of fluctuations in hormone levels following childbirth. This is obviously not the case for new fathers and doctors say there are "plausible" causes of postpartum depression. For example, sleep deprivation induced fatigue, the financial strain of a new baby and marital discord.

Doctors say the study points out an even more important link between maternal postpartum depression and paternal postpartum depression suggesting practitioners make sure to screen new dads for depression when a new mom is diagnosed.

Being Cool Is Better Than Being Good: The New Rules of Parenting

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 22:16:00 GMT

Motherhood has come a long way baby. The under-side of childrearing is so well documented and cataloged in books, articles, and blogs, it's hard to swing a Petunia Pickle Bottom bag without hitting someone's descent into mothering hell, or post-partum depression, or post-partum-libido-crash. And even though some of them are quite funny and touching accounts of the soul-exhausting work involved in raising children, it is quite clear that bad is the new good.

I'm not saying that post-partum depression and other pre- and post-natal health issues should be driven back underground, and I also think some of the messages about "chill out and let your kids play with that box" is refreshing. But there is something about all this heavy instructive judgmental talk that would kick the joy out of even the sunniest of days. Or take even the last ounce of maternal weepy love and turn it into a sippy cup full of Chardonnay.

Going on about tattoos, and drinking during play dates, and boring children, and sex forgone says more about our current dogma of cool, than our true liberation from the old assumption that all mothers are fulfilled and happy. We've merely exchanged one set of rules for another.

Post Partum Depression: You Are Not Alone

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 16:24:00 GMT

Thordora isn't afraid to talk about it. She tells stories about her Post Partum depression on her blog, Spin Me I Pulsate, and she wants you to tell her your stories about PPD too. She is calling it the Post Partum Crazy Race.

Thordora mentions how PPD is such a common thing, but people just don't talk about it unless you bring it up first. I find this to be true of other kinds of depression too. It is amazing when I tell a group of people about my experience with depression how many other people have gone through it. Post Partum seems to be the worst. First, you are a wreck and expected to take care of this tiny person (or people) and second, everyone expects you to be radiant with the joy of your new child.

In her post, Thordora recommends the book "Hillbilly Gothic: A Memoir of Madness and Motherhood" by Adrienne Martini. You can visit Adrienne Martini's blog Martinimade here.

You really aren't alone, you know? There is another wonderful book about suffering from depression as a parent. It is by Tracy Thompson and it is called "The Ghost in the House: Motherhood, Raising Children, and Struggling with Depression". Tracy has a blog too, it is called Maternally Challenged.

Go tell Thordora your story. Let her know that she isn't the only one either.