Strollerderby : post-partum

Melissa Joan Hart Drops the Ball on Being a Role Model

JeanneSager — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:26:00 GMT

So Melissa Joan Hart packed on the pounds during her pregnancy. That makes her different from any other pregnant woman in America, how?

The former Sabrina the Teenage Witch star showed off her bikini-worthy bod in People last week, but it was her words that cut deep into the psyches of moms everywhere.

A picture of her post-partum at one hundred fifty-five pounds, snapped on the beach, was "horrifying," Hart told People. That's why she lost weight. Not because she felt physically bad at her weight. Because she cared what everyone else thought of her.

Wow, how, SHALLOW of her. Yeah, yeah, I know, she lives in Hollywood - she's supposed to care what the public thinks about her. She points out that living in Hollywood puts huge pressure on you, and I'd bet it would. But if you're going to use that as your excuse, you can just as easily use it as your soapbox. Because Hart is one of those women who can make a statement to the world that sets the world afire and lets other women know it is OK to walk outside of their houses with their heads held high in the days after they give birth.

But where she had the chance to be a wonderful anti-dote to the thousands of celebrity women who practically prance out of the hospital with their twiggy forms back and make the rest of us feel even worse about ourselves, Hart chose the wrong route. Showing off her hard fourteen months of work was a great example to women that you can do it, maybe. But the words "horrifying" about her post-partum body undid much of that positive message.

What happened to being honest about what happens to a woman's body during pregnancy? To facing up to the fact that the weeks after having a baby are hardly the time to focus on weight loss/gain because you're focused on a new life?

Image: People

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Post Partum Hilarity in Book Form

Did Having a Baby Make You Start Thinking About Your Ex?

JeanneSager — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 20:30:00 GMT

I wasn't thinking about much when my daughter was three months old. My maternity leave was over, and I was back at work - albeit at a reduced thirty-hour schedule. I didn't have time to think about sex, nonetheless an ex.

Turns out some parents have turned the seven-year itch into the three-month itch. Their baby hits three months, and as exhausted and un-sexy as the mothers feel, they start thinking about what their life could have been if they took a different path. Namely, if they picked another partner.

In the New York Times this week, essayist Anna Solomon says she couldn't help romanticizing her exes when her daughter was still a newborn, when she hit that three-month mark everyone told her would be a turning point, when she would start to get her life back:

"I was certain that I’d ruined my life, and I was thinking — with alarming frequency — of men who were not my husband, men who seemed suddenly more attractive than they’d actually been, or kinder, or braver — men who would never have gotten me into this mess."

I always thought it was just in the movies that women turned on their husbands during childbirth, that they started screaming, "I hate you, I can't stand you, get away from me, you did this to me." But here that same feeling is, rearing its ugly head three months on, when the pain of delivery is gone and the reality of being a mother has set in. You aren't you anymore, and as long as you're stuck in this bleary-eyed state with this little person who can reach top volume and turn tomato red in the blink of an eye, it's hard to imagine you ever will be again.

Is it any wonder some women fantasize their way out of it? Even for a few moments? It's not sexual fantasies of exes past, because, frankly, sex is what put you in this predicament. It's emotional escapism, the kind that nourishes the body in what can be a very dark time for a parent, especially a stay-at-home parent or a woman still nursing a baby through the night (and hence getting no sleep). And that's why, for most of us - including Solomon, it's fleeting. Your baby grows, you get some sleep, and you realize you are pretty darn OK where you are - if not completely and wonderously in love with where you are.

Did you ever fantasize about the ex when your child was young, or daydream about going back to the pre-pregnancy days?

Image: DailyMail

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Also on Babble:

The New Celibacy

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C-Sections May Hinder Mother-Baby Bonding

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:07:00 GMT

With nearly a third of babies in the U.S. delivered by C-section, many researchers are wondering how if, at all, the experience of undergoing labor contractions, which release hormones that are linked to maternal behavior, affects a mother’s bond with her baby.

A new study from Yale University has found that women who give birth vaginally are more responsive to their babies’ cries than women who give birth by C-section. This increased responsiveness may be linked to the brain's innate response to natural birth, since brain scans on post-partum women indicated that the areas of the brain that are linked to motivation and emotions were less active in women who had had had C-sections.

This research does come with some important caveats. The brain scans were conducted on 12 women—six of whom had given birth naturally and six of whom had had Caesarean sections. 12 is pretty small number. Also, the women who had their babies delivered by C-section had all elected to do so. So there is certainly the possibility that the maternal differences the researchers found between the two groups were due to a personality difference between mothers who choose natural births and those who opt for C-sections, even when medically unnecessary.

Lastly, the brain scans were conducted on women two to four weeks after birth. Clearly, this is no indication of what kinds of mothers they will be in the long term.

Photo: BBC

Woman Sues After No Meds C-Section

Is It Wrong for Hospitals to Give Formula to Breastfeeders?

Jen Chaney — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:58:00 GMT

It happened to me, and maybe it happened to you. As I prepared to leave the hospital with my newborn, nurses handed me -- a still recuperating mom clearly attempting to breastfeed -- a goody bag that contained free samples of infant formula. A button sporting the Similac teddy bear even hung from the bag's handles.

According to new information published in the Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine, and mentioned in this Chicago Tribune story, my hospital isn't the only one. After surveying close to 1,300 medical facilities on the East Coast, researchers found that 94 percent of them disseminate formula samples even while encouraging mothers to nurse.

Some say the samples are nothing more than freebies intended to be used as back-up if breastfeeding issues arise. Others insist they send a mixed message and imply that it's okay to bail on the whole boob thing. Or, to put it in the extreme terms attributed to the chairwoman of the Chicago Area Breastfeeding Coalition: "Handing bags of free formula, even formula advertising, is like handing out Big Macs on the cardiac floor."

In the words of Robert Downey, Jr. in "Tropic Thunder": "Pump your brakes, kid." I understand why the formula and all the nursing advocacy seem to be at odds with each other. But the Big Mac analogy is a little ridiculous. Eating a greasy, fat-laden burger after a heart attack is taking a serious health risk. Giving a baby a free sample of formula may not be as solid a choice as giving him breastmilk, but it's not going to give him high cholesterol and put him back in the E.R.

I'm not sure that it's a good idea to give out those samples. I think on more than one occasion, I may have used them as a crutch. At the same time, the hospital also loaned me a highgrade breast pump (yes, for a fee, but still) and made sure I had all the information I needed about lactation consultants, which I also took advantage of. In the end, while there may be a mixed message inherent in all this, I think we mothers make our own choices about how to nurture our children. If we're super-committed to breastfeeding and aren't having major problems with it, all we have to do is chuck the samples, or pass them on to another mom who might use them. Voila. We don't have them anymore. Case closed. And if we're struggling, well, at least we have the option to try them on our fifth consecutive night with sore nipples and no sleep.

Did anyone else get free formula samples in the hospital? I'm curious to know how accurate those survey numbers are. And also, while you're up, can you get me a burger? All this talk of Big Macs is making me hungry.

How to Get a Flat Tummy Post-Pregnancy

Jen Chaney — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:33:00 GMT

Obviously I did something very wrong after delivering my son a year ago. If only I had followed the advice of Brooke Burke -- you know her as the actress and former hostess of E!'s "Wild On" -- maybe I'd be rocking tight abs and an itty-bitty waist.

Burke, who delivered her fourth child (yes, I said fourth) a month ago, recently wrote a blog post that shared her secrets to slimming down after having a child. Indeed, as FameCrawler recently pointed out, she does look fab.

So what's her secret? Well, for starters, follow a solid meal plan, something she helpfully outlines in her post. Nothing earth-shattering here, just lots of fresh vegetables and fruits, a healthy amount of protein and a series of reasonably portioned meals and snacks throughout the day. In other words, this is dieting from the department of No Duh.

Burke also is a big advocate for belly binding, a practice in which new moms wrap their torso in a fabric that's supposed to get rid of that excess blubber much more quickly. This is no surprise since she hawks her own belly-binding product called Tauts. This concept is apparently pretty common in other cultures, and it's very possible it works although it seems like one extra headache to deal with at a time when most mothers are just scraping to survive each day.

There is nothing wrong with Burke's advice, really, except for one small thing: I think it might be b.s. I believe she uses her wraps and eats the diet she describes. But I don't think that's all she does. I suspect she has a trainer on retainer who helps her get back in shape as soon as she possibly can. I also strongly suspect she has genetics on her side (and really, don't you kinda hate her for that?).

All I know is I could have eaten that diet and worn an extra-strength corset as soon as I got home from the hospital and I would not have looked like Brooke Burke. Hell, I could have bypassed kids entirely and I still couldn't have rocked a body like that. So while the E! lady's advice may be helpful to a degree, let's be honest: When you're Brooke Burke, you kinda live in a different world than the rest of us.

Photo: FameCrawler on Babble.com

Badass Coach/Mom Takes Weeks-Old Twins to Tournament

Madeline Holler — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:35:00 GMT

Here's how I know that I lack determination, motivation, a sense of teamwork and the ability to show some hustle. I think this women's basketball coach is crazy -- admirable, but crazy.

Brenda Frese, a coach/mom for the women's basketball team at the University of Maryland, wanted to be there for the final game of the seniors on her team when they play in the ACC women's basketball tournament in North Carolina. But she couldn't stand the idea of being away from her two newborn sons.

Here's her plan: take the two-week-old twin boys on the road with her to the tournament. All of which involves, you know, getting dressed and leaving the house.

She won't be be nursing courtside (though wouldn't that be great!). Her husband and both sets of grandparents are making the trip with her and the team and looking after the little buggers. So, it's not the presence of the boys -- or taking them on a road trip -- that astounds me. It's the fact that she's organized and willing to do anything but nap, watch TV and fine with being at some distance from a bathroom fewer than three weeks post-partum. Oh, and that she'll presumably be jumping up and down and screaming and slapping girls on the butts and giving half-time pep talks. What next -- picking cabbage 13 hours a day?

Seriously, makes me tired and sore just thinking about it.

Good game, coach, good game.

Photo: Washington Post

French Universal Healthcare Covers Les Femmes' Entire Personal Universe

Madeline Holler — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 19:01:00 GMT

Mon Dieu! The French are so, are so ... French? Did you read this in the New York Times, an expat American's dispatch about how, after giving birth, she got her vagina re-educated? A the state's expense. Like the thousands of other women giving birth there each year. I didn't even know my vagina forgot the main themes, ideas and historical dates after I gave birth. Shoud it have studied more during pregnancy? Is vaginal re-education a part of the International Baccaleureate?

She explains, to my relief, re-education is more about regaining the strength in the pelvic floor and elasticity of the perineum. (I'll stop crunching study guides with my thighs.) Unlike your six-week post-partum check-up, French women get referred to a counselor who asks them questions about peeing and does some poking around, eventually leading the new moms in some hands-on (and in) crotch crunches. After that, they make another appointment.

... Mónica shows me a slender white wand — the kind of device you might have seen for sale in Times Square a decade ago — which she’ll introduce in the next phase. The wand will add electro-stimulation to my mini situps. By the 10th session we’ll be ready to try out a kind of video game, in which sensors on my groin measure whether I’m contracting the muscles enough to stay above a running orange line on the computer screen.

There's also state-sponsored abs re-education, she says.

Seriously? I had to pay for childbirth education out of pocket and it mainly involved videos and snacking on cubes of cheese. I can't imagine my insurance company kicking in tuition for abs classes or anything even remotely involved in the education of my netherparts.

She goes on to compare the U.S. and France: healthcare costs (about half as much in France) and infant mortality rates (also, significantly lower), wait times (slightly longer in France but, at this point, who cares?)

Anybody else feel free perineal re-education is just another reason to envy French women? Or do you think our unsupervised Kegels are good enough to keep once--pregnant American women from peeing when they sneeze?

Salsa Class for Moms and Babies Shake Up Post-Partum Bleghhhhs

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 21:05:00 GMT

No one can really prepare a mama for the stuff that comes after the baby's delivery. And I don't mean the up-at-all-hours, leaky-boob, colic-child, colic-Daddy, looky-loo-in-law, in-love-with-the-little-boo stuff. I mean, the jelly-belly, lead-balloon-bosom, stretch-marked stuff. I mean the stuff that you cry over or silently chide yourself about, that you pray will melt away in the 45 minutes of good sleep you get each night.

All this stuff is why I am a proponent of mommy-and-me classes that kick in when the baby has adjusted to light outside of the womb and when mothers are feeling ready to attempt packing a diaper bag, loading up the infant and heading into an outside world of their own. The classes, designed to start slowly and work up to a pace that has a bit of challenge but still accommodates parents and their newborns, come in yoga, Pilates, stroller walking and many other varieties. My own mama-baby yoga class helped me re-learn how to flex my stretched-out abs while smothering my babbling baby boy in kisses, all while in Downward Facing Dog or the much-needed reminder of Warrior pose. I know lots of mothers who have given lots of kisses in similar classes, who've been just as happy to get out the door with their newborn as to give their bodies a little workout.

For Canadian new mothers in nineteen cities, salsa classes are a way to get back that good-body feeling while their babies are along for the ride. Through the franchise Salsa Babies, moms and babies secured in slings learn moves to Latin dances over the eight-week course. Jennifer Torres, the 35-year-old dancer and founder of Salsa Babies, assures that the dance moves are conducive to carrying a baby and that most relax during the class and many fall asleep as their moms get a workout in.

While I'm not ready to have another baby right now, nor am I that interested in strapping my 24-pound toddler in for an hour of cha-cha-chaing, I love that Torres' focus goes beyond fitness for the dancing mamas when she says, "[Salsa has] a certain element of sexiness. It's nice to see [mothers] reawaken that and start to feel confident again."

For all the good of cardio and a little sweat and muscle-building, I think that confidence, that sexiness, that welcome feeling of power is probably the best way to feel yourself again, even in the post-baby body, even that early on.

Kids Everywhere Are Perplexed Too: Post-Preggers Tori Spelling Dilemma

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 22:04:00 GMT

Gather 'round, kids. Put down your Duplo building blocks and your Dora backpacks and your sippy cups. Stop reading ni-ni books and please, keep your curious little chubbers fingers out of your nostrils for one very important moment. No, this isn't a time-out or a boy-parts/girl-parts talk. This is a much more critical issue that we need to discuss.

Children, this is about Tori Spelling.

Now, you probably don't remember Tori from back in the 90210 Donna days of cavernous cleavage and interminable virginity, but Mommy does. Mommy will remember for you that it was clearly a case of obligation and access to the beachfront condo that coerced Kelly to stay BFFs with Donna until the show came to a long and drawn-out end.

Mommy will remember with a cringe the commercials for Tori's self-mocking show on VH1 and the excrutiating boredom while sitting on a delayed plane on a tarmac in Portland that led to reading each and every one of the five page spread on how Tori and her now-hubby met, wooed and wed each other. And the sidebar on their cast-out spouses. Oh yeah, and the pictorial on their beach bonfire ritual after the nuptials. Cringe if you will but mommy will remember.

Now that Tori's made her way back to media darlingdom as a new wife, new mom, newly reconciled with her own mother, new owner of a B & B and new star of a reality show, her life has some dramatic questions looming that you, my babes, are aware of. Prepare yourself, the most pressing question needs your full attention: How will Tori Spelling lose her baby weight?

I know, I know. It's a big one.

But not to worry. She's been jogging with her husband and the kind folks at NutriSystem are going to take very good care of Tori's (surely) massive post-partum jelly belly after gaining (oh God) 40 pounds while pregnant. It'll all be OK.

Try not to worry your little heads, kids. I am sure it all be just fine.

Top 6 Reasons New Moms are Selfish

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 15:13:00 GMT

New moms are selfish. There, I said it. I know you wanted to say it to so I've just saved you the trouble. I'm willing to take the heat. So bring it. The Strollerderby crew generated some great ideas when we first started discussing this usually taboo topic. Here are the top 6 reasons we've come up with that new mothers are selfish. Feel free to add yours.

1. Always with the crying - New moms cry. They don't seem to care that it's upsetting to witness the heaving shoulders, and red puffy faces. Don't they even care what they look like?

2. Refusing sex - Even when they get the "green light" from their doctors at the six-week check-ups. Even when the ice packs the the Tylenol-3s are put away. Still, many new moms are hesitant to rev up the sex engines again. How insensitive can you get?!!

3. Possessiveness - New Moms often refuse to let grandparents babysit, even when the babies are TWO weeks (even two months) old. I mean come on!! What does a person need to do to get some serious bonding time with a new baby? Don't you think a new Mom would understand that better than anyone?

4. Pain Intolerant - Childbirth and the post-partum weeks and months following hurt like hell. So women claim. But seriously? Can it really be all that bad? Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. And THEY didn't have helpful spouses and great pain medication. Ok, so you have hemorroids. So your nipples are chapped. Get over it, sister, and move on.

5. Men Have Needs - Ok so women are in pain and they are nursing and co-sleeping and hormonal. But sometimes, the men have needs. Have they never heard of hand-jobs? Is it that hard to meet your husbands' / partner's needs? I think not.

6. Insistence on Showering - Women want to be with their babies all the time, right? So what is the problem with bringing the baby in the bathroom when they shower? And also? Why the need to shower every day? If new mothers were more other-centered, these things wouldn't be such a big problem.