Strollerderby : postpartum depression

Turns Out Men Can Get Postpartum Depression, Too

Jen Chaney — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 12:02:00 GMT

Women obviously suffer from the more severe hormonal changes after their children are born. But that doesn't mean dads are immune to postpartum depression.

According to this story from Newsweek, plenty of men experience the baby blues even if we don't always recognize it as such. Dr. Will Courtenay, a psychotherapist quoted extensively in the article, says that some studies indicate that as many as one in four new fathers wind up with PPD.

Honestly, this probably isn't a huge surprise to anyone. Having a child causes tectonic shifts in the ground beneath anyone's feet, regardless of their gender. The sleeplessness, the additional demands on our time, the sense that we're not living up to our spouse's or partner's expectations -- it can cause anyone to break, as father and one-time PPD sufferer Joel Schwartzberg writes in this essay, also in Newsweek.

The symptons he describes -- sadness, lack of communication with his spouse, a desire to flee from the situation -- are emotions I am sure many of us have felt at one point or another. In case there was any doubt, I think it's perfectly legitimate for guys to feel this way and to call it PPD.

What strikes me as a little strange, though, is this comment from Dr. Courtenay, in response to a reporter's question about whether postpartum depression manifests itself differently in men than in women. "When we think of a depressed person, we usually picture someone who's sad and crying," he says. "But if we picture instead a guy who's working 60 hours a week, is a little short-tempered, drinks a couple of beers at lunch, slips out of the office to have an affair, then speeds home to his wife, that's not what we picture when we think of depression, but those are some of the signs of men's depression, which can often look different."

Drinking on the job? Leaving the office to have an affair? That sounds a little extreme and perhaps like evidence of even more complex problems, doesn't it? I realize men and women are different -- I learned this primarily from years of hilarious stand-up comedy routines --and that the issues they confront as new parents vary in many ways, but I suspect that the feelings they struggle with have more in common than that statement suggests. Based on Schwartzberg's essay, which really resonated with me even though my chromosomes are definitely of the XX variety, that certainly seems true.

But you tell me. Are you a dad who has suffered from PPD, or do you suspect your husband/partner may have? What were the symptoms that reared their heads? And what advice can you offer to other parents in the same challenging situation?

Image: guardian.co.uk

Morning News: Let It Rip in Front of the Kids

Madeline Holler — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Obama's getting a stern talking-to in Europe, old people are going back to work and Hillary Clinton is working it at The Hague. But we're going to zone in on some good news for hot-headed, opinionated parents everywhere.

A new study in the Journal of Child Psychiatry and Psychology suggests that not only may it not be so bad to argue in front of the kids, they might actually benefit from it! When couples fight (fair) in the open, kids get mini-lessons in conflict resolution (you are resolving the conflict, right?) and you get a break from either hiding your disagreements or the guilt that comes with airing them in front of the kids. So gather round the hearth and really let your partner have it!

Something not to do in front of the kids, or anyone else, is use the word "retard." Yes, yes, we know you don't mean anything by it, it's just a work, sticks and stones. But it's hurtful and insulting and the Special Olympics is launching a campaign to make sure you know that. So stop.

Know what else needs to stop? Junkets to Gitmo for Miss Universe. She had way too much fun and that just makes us uncomfortable.

Not sure what this means for Octomom, but a new study shows that moms of multiples are more likely to suffer from postpartum depression than those who give birth to singletons.

As foreclosures fill up the nation's suburbs, abandoned boats are all up and down the nation's coastline. Owners, who no longer can or care to pay for keeping them, are scratching off registration numbers and then just leaving them in the water.

Finally, welcome to April -- National Grilled Cheese Month. G'head and share your favorite grilled cheese sandwich recipe. We're partial to smoked Gouda with a slice of tomato, but, really, any melted cheese and butter-fried bread will do.

Photo: modernmeditation.net

Pregnant Women Still Puffing Away

Amy Kuras — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:31:00 GMT

I have a confession to make: I am an ex-smoker. I quit five years ago this month and it still ranks as one of the hardest things I've ever accomplished.

I quit because we were trying to have a baby. Nine months later, I finally got successfully knocked up (apparently I had to give birth to myself as a nonsmoker first). And craved cigarettes like I hadn’t since the initial Trainspotting-like detox from smoking – so thank goodness I didn’t have to count on pregnancy to get me to quit.

And if I had (shockingly, less than half of pregnant women do quit), chances are good it would not have stuck. Fully half of all pregnant women who quit during pregnancy go back to it within six months. Some health agencies are trying new approaches to help pregnant women quit, like offering gift cards for X amount of time smoke free.

Women with postpartum depression are much more likely to go back to smoking, and experts point to stress as the cause in other cases. Add in the (mistaken) belief that cigarettes will help you shed the baby weight, and the exhaustion that comes from having a little baby around, and you pretty much have a recipe for relapse. I know since my son arrived five months ago, I have been tempted briefly to smoke and before he was born there were whole weeks at time I never even thought about cigarettes.

For smokers, that smoke break is a little time to yourself, a calming force, and a stimulant all at once. So it makes sense that new motherhood, when all those things are desperately needed, triggers the smoking urge. If you're a new mom and new ex-smoker struggling with the urge, find support (most states have smoking cessation hotlines, and QuitNet helped me enormously) and remind yourself staying off the smokes is easy in comparison to pretty much any common parenting challenge.

Depressed Dads More Likely to Have Troubled Children

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:46:00 GMT

A new study from the University of Bristol’s Children of the 90s project indicates that postnatal depression in fathers is clearly linked to behavioral problems in their children. The downside is, worrying that your unhappiness is going to turn your kid into a criminal is not likely to ease your unhappiness. The upside is, the study aims to raise awareness about the need to recognize and treat paternal postnatal depression.

The study of 14,000 families found that the children of depressed fathers are twice as likely as those without depressed fathers to be diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder—such as hyperactivity or antisocial behavior—by the age of eight. Although postnatal depression in mothers has previously been linked to a wider range of childhood problems, this study indicates that behavioral and social issues are specifically tied to paternal depression, underscoring the important role that fathers play in socializing their children. (The study did not address the possibility of genetic causality.) The study also found that 3.6 percent of fathers exhibit signs of depression eight weeks after the birth of their child—apparently, Gwyneth Paltrow is not the only one suffering from the baby blues.

What do you all think of this study: another example of the craze over mental health diagnoses, or an important step toward raising awareness about a common problem? How have fathers out there coped with postnatal depression?

Baby Boys Are (Allegedly) a Bummer

Jen Chaney — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:32:00 GMT

If you recently gave birth to a boy, you run a higher risk of getting postpartum depression. Why? Well, for starters boys require more energy. Also, women are narcissists who would prefer to have little mini-me daughters. Lastly, little boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails. And snails are kinda slimy.

All right, so maybe I am oversimplifying this MSN article, which notes a recent study in France that implies mothers of small boys are indeed more likely to become depressed. However, the research was done solely on French moms and, as we already know, they are usually drunk or hopped up on nicotine. (Kidding, kidding). The story also points out that said research focused on only 17 women, which doesn't exactly represent a wide swath of the population.

However skewed these results might be, they did get me to thinking about whether women really do secretly long for little girls. I will admit that I had hoped for a daughter, either because a. I am a narcissist or b. because I think girls' clothes tend to be cuter. But once I knew I was having a boy -- and certainly once the little guy arrived -- I fully embraced him and don't think I was any more or less depressed because of it.

I've also had conversations with many moms who happily raise nothing but boys and, in some cases, even express relief about avoiding all the messiness of the mother-daughter relationship. So I ask you, Moms and Dads: Do you secretly wish you had a child of the same gender? And how has being a mother to a boy or a father to a girl enriched (or depressed) your life?

P.S. Narcissistic responses to this post are encouraged. I would have noted this before but I was too busy staring at myself in the mirror and imagining what a girl-baby version of me would look like.

Photo: shindigs.co.uk

Gywneth Paltrow's Tips on Kicking the Baby Blues

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:00:00 GMT

In the past 24 hours, the blogosphere has been flooded with reports that actress Gywneth Paltrow suffered postnatal depression. In an interview in the May issue of Vogue, Paltrow was uncharacteristically revealing about several aspects of her life, including her social life and body image. But the “revelation” about feeling depressed after the birth of her second child is the one that seems to have sparked the interest of the masses. This hubbub makes me glad that Paltrow was so open about her struggles as a new parent, since the emotions she describes—“I felt really disconnected. I felt really down; I felt pessimistic”—are hardly rare among new mothers. Between 50 and 70 percent of women suffer from “baby blues,” fits of sadness or irritability during their child’s infancy, and up to 25 percent of women suffer from postnatal depression, a more severe, longer lasting sense of gloom. To a lesser degree, postnatal depression also affects new fathers.

What is most interesting about Paltrow’s admission is that she is not affected by most of the risk factors associated with postnatal depression—poverty, young motherhood, an unhappy marriage. (Paltrow’s mother and friends have stated that rumors of rockiness between Paltrow and husband Chris Martin, Coldplay’s frontman, are completely false.) Rather, she believes she got depressed because she was simply working too hard at being a mom and not taking enough time for herself, giving up lead roles in movies and indulgences like acupuncture. She feels she got over the depression in part by taking on a starring role in Iron Man—and then, once the filming was done, spending the summer at home with her family.

Granted, this is not exactly a standard depression buster, but striking the right balance between work and social time with hands-on parenting time is an inescapable issue for every parent. For those of you who can’t afford a nanny and personal trainer (both of which also proved helpful in getting Paltrow back on track emotionally), how do you manage to be a parent and a person? Any dads out there who have suffered from postnatal depression?

Image: hollywoodbackwash.com

Armchair Activism: The MOTHERS Act Needs to Pass

Alisyn — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 19:33:00 GMT

Read carefully, because this affects all of us: 800,000 American women each year suffer from the debilitating and horrible effects of postpartum depression. Eight hundred thousand. That is a staggering number, isn't it? Equally shocking is that only 15 percent of these women will receive any assessment or treatment for postpartum depression.

That's why BlogHer, Postpartum Support International and Postpartum Progress are joining together to host a blog action day (next Wednesday, October 24th) in support of the MOTHERS Act - The Moms Opportunity to Access Help, Education, Research and Support for Postpartum Depression Act. Women in this country are demanding that new mothers and their families are educated about postpartum depression, screened for symptoms and provided with essential services. To show your support by the bill, call your senator next Wednesday (the more calls the better!), and blog for the cause.

The women of American need this bill to pass, and we need the acknowledgment and support of lawmakers to make that possible. All it takes is a phone call and a blog post to do your part.

Pregnant Women Afraid to Tell Their Worries

Karen Murphy — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 11:27:00 GMT

Pregnancy can be such a weird time. Your body is hit by an ever-changing cornucopia of hormones plus all of a sudden you're not alone your in body at all but instead you're sharing it with someone. Then there are the expectations, yours and society's. And the fears and worries. Sure, you're excited, but...

I had tons of fears when I was pregnant: fears of something going wrong, fears that I wouldn't be able to love the baby as much as the children I already had, fears I would suck as a mother.

Apparently I'm not alone. A bunch of you weighed in over at Sarah's great post a few weeks ago on antepartum depression. And a new U.K. study reveals that moms-to-be worry about all sorts of things, but don't express those worries due to societal taboos.

Well, that sucks. Here you are, maybe consumed with worry that you won't love your baby (25%), worry about finances because of the baby (41%), worry that you might develop postpartum depression (30%) or that you'll never feel like having sex again (20%), and there's nowhere you can go with the worry. There is such a huge amount of social pressure built up over the "perfect mom/pregnancy/life" that even expressing a fear or worry about something so vast in your life as having a child is considered taboo.

How sad is it that when we have fears, perfectly normal fears in most cases, over what may be one of the biggest events in our lives, we can't talk about them. Instead, we keep them inside, trusting that we are strong enough to carry those fears and the baby growing inside us. I don't know whether this is a testament to the enormous inner strength of pregnant women or a harsh commentary on the terrible lonely isolation of our society.

Maybe it's both.

How You Hold Your Baby Tells Whether You're Depressed

Karen Murphy — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 17:15:00 GMT

There may be a new clue in recognizing post-partum depression, and it's all in how you hold your baby. Like with telephones, most parents develop a preference in which hand they use predominantly to hold their babies. I'm the opposite of most people, as I'm right-handed but use right hand-right ear to talk on the phone, and all four of my babies mostly were held to the right. Most people, whether right- or left-handed, use left hand-left ear and face their babies left.

Right?

It turns out there may be a correlation between left- and right-facing baby holds and extreme stress levels (which we all know lead straight to the Depths of Depression!): a small study of moms with babies who were on average 7 months old, it was the right-facing moms who evidenced the most signs of extreme stress. Most moms hold their babies toward the left regardless of their dominant hand, and the overwhelming majority of moms who had no signs of stress or depression all held toward the left.

So, to recap: left = not depressed; right = please pass the Prozac.

I'll point out again that I held all my babies to the right. If you're a new mom or an old mom and you're stressed like that, don't tough it out; get help. There's no shame in it. I wish I had.

I'll point out too that it's a small study and there's no definitive correlation here, so there may be nothing in this theory. Shall we have a Strollerderby Science Day with an impromptu poll here in the comments?

Britney's Breakdown: Suicide Attempt

Karen Murphy — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 15:10:00 GMT

If new reports are to be believed, Britney Spears is continuing to have a difficult time coping even while being attended to in rehab. The latest has her attempting to hang herself from a light with a bedsheet, screaming "I am the antichrist", and scrawling "666" on her head and unintelligible words and scribbles across the backs of her hands.

On a brighter note, Justin Timberlake, Pink, and Brooke Shields have attempted to contact Britney (whose chewed gum you can now bid on at eBay) and leave encouraging messages. Brooke wrote a book two years ago about her own journey with postpartum depression and likely has some good advice. A variety of postpartum mood disorders, including depression as well as the more common "baby blues", strike about 80% of mothers. Meanwhile, K-Fed's behavior continues to be exemplary, with him bringing the boys by for another visit, and now it's being reported that Brit wants yet another baby with him.

Having had four children and having gone through various degrees of mood disorders myself, I cannot imagine how much more difficult the situation is when you're a celebrity. For the sake of everyone involved, especially the babies, I'm still hoping everything turns out all right.

Britney: Postpartum Depression?

Alisyn — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 01:15:00 GMT

Doctors working with Britney Spears in rehab think that postpartum depression may be the root of all her recent troubles.

A "source" inside Malibu's Promises rehab facility reveals that Brit's doctors have acknowledged that she has a drinking problem, but think that drinking has been a way for her to cope with her depression, and that by trying to self-medicate, she lost control of herself, and her life. Perhaps as part of her therapy program, rumor has it that Brit is currently reading Brooke Sheilds' PPD memoir Down Came The Rain.

If anyone stands to benefit from Brooke's very public battle with PPD, it is Britney, and I hope she finds some sense of peace in reading about one woman's struggle, and triumph, over this horrible affliction, if PPD is indeed what she has (there is also a bipolar disorder rumor floating around...) A PPD diagnosis sounds right on target to me: two kids in twelve months, and a divorce, and a failing career, and intense media coverage of her every move... it's enough to drive any mom out of her tree.

As Britney's story unfolds, I find myself feeling less entertained by her, and more sympathetic, and even motherly, towards her. I just want to invite her to my playgroup, give her a cup of coffee, and tell her that we've all been there, in our own ways. And that it's going to be alright.