Strollerderby : presents

Mom Buys Nintendo, Gets a Box of Rocks Instead

JeanneSager — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:33:00 GMT

Somewhere in Florida, a kid is saying "aww, gee, Mom, you shouldn't have." No, really, we mean it. Because when a sixteen-year-old opened up his brand new Nintendo DS, all he found was a pile of rocks and some newspaper with Chinese lettering.

Someone was apparently watching Hotel For Dogs before they made their Wal-Mart return. There's a scene in the kiddie flick that features kids packaging up a box full of rocks and trying to sell it as high tech gear.

Wal-Mart said "don't look at us," and was reportedly refusing to give Mom her money back until a Florida TV station got involved. The store tracked the box . . . only to realize it had been returned to the store by another customer. Perhaps the one who grabbed the DS and ran?

The story comes with yet another reminder to always check boxes (this mom says she did - and nothing looked awry) and warns that if you're unsure you should always ask a store employee to open it in front of you to verify the contents. I understand caveat emptor, but how far do we have go to? Most kids products these days are so hard to get out of the box that having the store open 'em up and unpack them will mean never getting them back INTO the box . . . and all that protective packaging that's supposed to keep the item from breaking on the ride home is now gone. Plus the open box now makes it harder to keep all the pieces inside.

Of course, I'd hate to disappoint my kid by opening up her birthday present this June to find a box full of rocks. What about you readers, do you make the store open things before you check out?

Image: PBase

The Mystery of the Toy Droppers

JeanneSager — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:26:00 GMT

Ever see a toy lying on the sidewalk and feel sorry for the child who dropped it? You might want to look a little closer.

A mysterious Australian group that calls itself The Toy Society has jumped across the ocean to the states, where they've started dropping their handmade toys for you to find.

"Nothing to it really just a bunch of handmade toys looking for a nice home," according to the society Website, but a look-see at the hundreds of toys dropped (they upload pictures and locations to their blogspot) and responses from excited kids who've found the toys show this is much more than "nothing."

What is simply is the premise. They make toys, attach a tag that says "Take me home. I'm yours," and drop them in random places around the world. Lucky finders have written in by the droves, some sending pictures of themselves, their kids and their finds with the happy news of little kids whose smiles got brighter thanks to a new toy and the kindness of strangers.

Although its creators are in Australia, their generosity has prompted mini sections to crop up here in the states, in Germany, Slovenia, Guatemala and a slew of other countries. As one recent finder noted, the Toy Society taught them a "priceless lesson in receiving." "I am going to hang the little toy somewhere so it can remind me every day about being open to the gifts of the universe."

Check out the society for a look at all the grinning kids and find out how you can get in on the giving. If only I was crafty enough to make my own handmade toys!

Image: The Toy Society - the new owners of "Lucky" the rabbit, with their real rabbit, Vickie

Save Your Money: Don't Get Mom a Card

JeanneSager — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:27:00 GMT

I was hardly surprised to hear spending for Mother's Day is expected to be way down this year. Hellllo, it's called a recession.

But I've got to tell you, news that eighty-five percent of Americans will still be cashing in on a card leaves me kind of disappointed in humanity. Because if you REALLY want to save money on us this year, you can skip the card.

The folks at Hallmark and Bouton's have done a bang up job of convincing us we need them (hence the derisively-dubbed "Hallmark holidays"), but do any of us NEED an extra piece of cardstock to sit in that growing pile of mail on the corner table?

But it's the sentiment inside, you say? Yup, a card tells someone you cared enough to go out and spend $4.99 on a picture of two polar bears kissing. The polar bears are cute, but the real "sentiment" comes through in the fact that someone sent one, right? So why not just send an old-fashioned letter, on plain white ruled paper? You don't have to say much. Maybe a "Hey ma, I love you," or a "Thanks for being my mommy." If you want to wax poetic, be my guest, but you won't have to loop your letters around a big goofy sparkly heart on plain old notebook paper.

Since I already sound like the grinch who stole Mother's Day, I'm not exactly crying over the news that electronics purchases for Mom are expected to dip by twenty-nine percent this year. Nothing says "I love you" like getting Mom a cell phone . . . which she now has to pay for montly. And clothing purchases are dipping by twelve percent? Goodie, no more freaky appliqued sweaters that little kids insist Mom is going to love.

Sure, it's the thought that counts, but I've got tell you, I'm still a sucker for the little handprints and the hand-picked daisies. I'd rather they save their money for something they want - and that he save it for groceries.

What about you, Moms, think Mother's Day should still be getting top billing this year?

Image: NBC

The Holiday Dilemma: When Parental Gift-Giving Goes Too Far

Jen Chaney — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 18:28:00 GMT

It's Easter Sunday. Have your kids opened their Easter presents yet?

Easter presents? Yes, some parents really do treat the spring holiday as a time to give gifts that go beyond the standard Easter baskets -- including pet rabbits or chicks, which, by the way, typically aren't a good idea.But the live animal issue aside, this raises a question: which holidays really do merit the giving of gifts and how do we, as parents, know when we're going too far?

I am chagrined to admit that I was raised in a present-focused family. Easter Sunday, for example, was treated like Christmas: Part Deux. Which kinda makes sense from a biblical perspective, but doesn't, really, as far as gifts go. Every year, I got up on that spring Sunday to find an Easter basket overflowing with chocolate bunnies and Reese's peanut butter eggs, but also other stuff -- trinkets, dolls and tiny toys. Then on top of that there were wrapped gifts, which contained more books and toys and albums (remember those?), the sorts of items one typically expects to receive on a birthday or during the holidays.

And it didn't stop with Easter. My parents gave gifts on Valentine's Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, even the last day of school. To them, it was an expression of generosity. I had a stay-at-home mom who lived for her children and giving gifts, to her, was just one way to bring joy to our lives. In fairness, I don't think receiving all that stuff warped me in any way. That scenario was certainly better than the alternative: having a parent who forgets birthdays or doesn't share any tokens of affection. But I do think those traditions may have spoiled me a bit. At the least, all those gifts definitely resulted in a house that was filled-to-bursting with unnecessary objects, things that, in the end, my brother and I didn't really need and my mom and dad didn't have to give us to remind us we were loved.

With a two-year-old son, I'm still semi-new at all of this parenting stuff. But I'm trying to take a more tempered approach to present-giving. My childhood experience compels me -- wrongly or rightly -- to feel like I have to do something special on holidays, which is why I found myself at a Hallmark store on Saturday throwing together a small-scale Easter basket at the last minute.

I kept it very simple -- I purchased three objects total -- but I know that as my child gets older, the temptation to inflate that Easter basket or Christmas stocking or, um, celebratory Fourth of July receptacle will only get greater. Still, I'm determined to find some kind of middle ground between the extreme parent-with-presents model and the cheapstake Mom role. But given the precedent my parents set -- not to mention corporate America's insistence that every holiday is a reason to spend hundreds of dollars -- that's something that will require serious dedication on my part.

What about you? Did you give Easter presents this year? And do you ever find yourself fighting the urge to overgift?

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Brits Say Michelle Obama Cheaped Out on Gifts

JeanneSager — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:57:00 GMT

Somebody please remind the British press that the world's economy is in the dumps.

Their latest gripe about America? Michelle Obama didn't give "nice enough" gifts to the British prime ministers children. Or, to be precise, the first lady's gifts to Gordon Brown's boys were not as nice as the outfits bestowed on Sasha and Malia Obama by the prime minister's wife.

During her meeting with Sarah Brown, Mrs. Obama apparently handed over two toy models of Marine One, the Presidential helicopter, for the Brown boys, Fraser and John. Yes, toy helicopters for little boys. How dare she? (It should be noted that the Brown children are not the ones acting like prats here.)

Sarah Brown, by the way, went all out with dresses from Top Shop accompanied by matching necklaces and a series of children's books by British authors. Perfectly nice gifts, of course. But does that make them any better than some toy helicopters for little boys? My daughter would LOVE a toy helicopter.

The exact charge from the London Times was that Michelle Obama was "solipsistic" because the models of Marine One rubbed in the Browns' faces that her husband is president of the United States. Er, OK. But he is. And last time I checked, that's WHY Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Obama were exchanging pleasantries. If we're really going to put that spin on it, couldn't it be argued that a selection of British literature is a slam on the American lit the girls are used to? (Not that I'd agree, just playing devil's advocate here). Or perhaps I'm rubbing it in my southern in-laws faces that their son married a Yankee when I bring them jugs of fresh maple syrup from New York to Virginia?

Perhaps the British press could find something better to focus on than the toys given to two little British children by the first lady of the United States. Like, maybe, what their father was in town to discuss?

Image: London Times

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Smackdown: Party On Baby!

JeanneSager — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:37:00 GMT

I love birthday parties.

Not the Chuck E. Cheese fifth circle of hell parties, but the sprawling mid-summer lawn parties with the kids running wild through a backyard sprinkler, the adults huddled under the trees with a few bottles of wine, coolers of beer and a big cheese platter.

Somehow, the big guy (girl) upstairs saw fit to ensure I can throw one every year - they made sure I gave birth in June. And every year since my daughter turned one, I've made a trip to the beer store, stocked up on veggie burgers and hamburgers and pulled out the grill.

My colleague Jen says birthday parties for kids under three are silly unless you're inviting immediate family only. I respectfully disagree - and not just because I love me a good party on a warm summer's day.

Our kids' birthdays are momentous not just for the kids. At one or two, Jen's right, they barely know what's going on. They cover their faces and clothes with cake and make feeble attempts to rip through wrapping paper. Those first two birthday parties are as much about the adults in the equation as they are the kids. They're a celebration of a Mom and Dad's proudest little accomplishment; and when it comes to celebrating - I say the more, the merrier.

The mentality comes, perhaps, from having a large extended family. Invite one of my father's siblings and you have to invite all six . . . and their spouses . . . and their kids. The summer birthday thing plays a role too - I'd feel strange throwing an outside party in my close-knit neighborhood and not inviting the neighbors over to join in. Truth be told, it wouldn't be a party without them. When something is worth celebrating, I'd like to make it a truly celebratory occasion - and that means piling on the guest list.

It also means inviting plenty of kids. Because I can't fathom how to make the "invite the number of children equal to your child's age" method work. Most of my closest friends HAVE kids. So cutting down on the number of children would mean cutting down on my own friends as well. And a party - a summer barbecue anyway - doesn't feel like a party to me without kids. Kids splashing in the wading pool. Kids peddling tricyles down the driveway. Kids having juice box squirting contests in the backyard.

For my daughter, there is fun too. Even at one she knew she was the center of attention, and she was lavished with love. The photos to me are priceless memories - not least because the two parties before my daughter turned three were the last two attended by my grandmother. One day, my daughter will be able to look back through the pictures and see her great-grandmother there, alive, vivacious and thoroughly enjoying the chance to spend time with several of her great-grandchildren.

Soon enough, my daughter will beg for the Chuck E. Cheese party or its equivalent. A few years after that, she'll be begging to go to the mall with her friends on her birthday - without her parents. Marking the day that forever changed my life and my husband's will shift entirely to her, and we will have to honor our favorite day some other way, some private way.

Kids are kids for only so long. I say celebrate every moment.

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Kindergartner Gets Best Birthday Present EVER

JeanneSager — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:34:00 GMT

I pride myself on being a pretty good gift giver - at least when it comes to my kid. But I can't top Casey Hurles.

The Army specialist came home from Iraq, then let his family wrap him in a box and cart him to son Gabriel's elementary school.

While Gabriel chowed down on cupcakes with his classmates, Casey sat quietly in the box, waiting. When he finally tore off the bright balloon-covered wrapping paper, the kindergartner jumped back and yelped - but it didn't take too long to recover.

The Nevada six-year-old hadn't see his dad since June when Spc. Casey Hurles left for his second tour of duty in Iraq. When Hurles realized his leave would fall right in line with his son's sixth birthday, he hatched a plan that's been four months in the making. Returning home, he had to hide out at his parents' house to make sure the surprise wouldn't be ruined.

Watching little Gabriel burrow his face in his Dad's chest, returning again and again for more hugs, might bring on the waterworks (it did for me), so grab the tissues before you watch!

Now isn't that the best birthday present a kid could get?

Image/Source: Nevada Appeal

Is It Ever Too Late for the Thank You Note?

JeanneSager — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:46:00 GMT

We do a lot as a family around this house. But the thank you notes? Somehow they landed in my court - for all three of us.

This year, I've rebelled. Instead of writing out sweet, thoughtful notes pretending to be my daughter and allowing her to make a scribbly mark at the bottom to signify they are from her, I've told her she has to draw pictures.

For everyone.

That's grandparents on both sides, her uncle, my aunts, friends from my work, friends from my husband's work, her teacher, the teacher's assistant . . . the amount of people who buy "just for the kids" means the pile of thank yous "from the kid" is still high. And we're not done.

It would be faster to sit down and write them myself, I know that. I could bang it all out one evening during Toot and Puddle. But it's high time that she learn there's a little more involved than just shouting "thank you" and rushing back to play with her toys. I'd also like to think that people will appreciate something from her that much more, and they'll be so impressed that they won't mind the wait. Will they?

It hasn't been a full month since Christmas, so we have, what, a week left? Two? Until Easter?

We're moving along at pre-schooler pace on the pile of pictures, but we'll get there. I'm just happy to report the birthday presents won't start rolling in until June.

Image: Parties by Nina

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To Return or Not to Return, That is the Question

SunnyChanel — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 20:00:00 GMT

As we finally put away all the holiday presents, gifts and goodies given to our daughter, we are met with a dilemma. What to do with “that dress.” Now, we appreciate all the wonderful items our daughter received for Christmas, but we appreciate some more than others. Not every gift can be a “winner”. But when someone buys your child an outfit your child despises and will never, ever let touch their oh so picky skin, do you return it? Or do you hold onto it until you see that family member or friend again and then stuff your child into it against their will?

It seems to be a shame to have a present will just sit in the closet gathering dust when it could be exchanged for something that will actually be used, worn and liked. Or maybe you can just host an Ugly Baby Clothes Contest as suggested by Rookiemoms.com where you invite all your friends over with their kids dressed up in the ugliest apparel gifts they’ve gotten. Or an online version as held by the Durham Region Baby site last year.

We've come to our conclusion, we're going to return the dress in question. Is that tacky? What do you think?

Freaking and Shrieking: Christmas Morning Video

JeanneSager — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 22:32:00 GMT

There's nothing like those wide eyes on Christmas morn, the sweet smile spreading across that little face, the exclamation of "this is what I always wanted!"

Warning: this video of a Canadian kid getting a Wii on Christmas morning is nothing like that that. The boy's parents pull his present out of a bag, and apparently unwrap it (the lack of tearing noises made me wonder if this was staged until I realized they didn't bother really wrapping it - no wonder the kid freaks out!) and Dad does the excited "it's the Wii!" pronouncement.

The son, on the other hand? He looks shocked for a handfull of seconds before he starts shrieking. Not screaming excitedly. Shrieking - like some bad Meatloaf album title.

All of this is followed by maniacal laughter and a relative asking "are we on steroids buddy?" About the only thing that screamed normal kid about this video was the over-the-top grin on command at the end.

My daughter's three (and thus too young for a Wii), but if she acted like this, I think I'd be more tempted to send her to her room to blow off that steam than to keep filming. But then, we're still at the age where the mere fact that Santa came is enough.

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Time for Post-Holiday Gendered Toy Balancing?

Miriam Axel-Lute — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

I never really understood people who wanted to go shopping right after the winter holidays, except maybe for the very thrifty stocking up on cheap wrapping paper for next year. But suddenly I find myself contemplating it.

I blame it on my fellow 'Derby blogger who wrote about recent research arguing that traditional "girl toys" discourage the development of problem solving skills useful in science and math: "The toys reported [by parents] as girls' favorites didn't teach anything specific, allowing, rather for imaginative play mostly related to childcare. Boys' reported favorite toys, on the other hand, encouraged action, learning of new things, use of reading and problem solving skills as well as imagination."

See, I keep thinking of that post now, because it's striking, after all the grandparents have weighed in with their prezzies, how heavy my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter's haul is on the tea sets and dolls. Now, I'm not complaining. It's not like anyone was on a mission to make her a little princess. The personalized map of her neighborhood made for her by her GIS-enabled uncle is awesome and all about the abstract thinking. The just-like-daddy's painters' jeans and the red leather jacket are anything but prissy. And she adores each instance of the dolls (some of which came from us) and tea sets and jewelry. I don't have a problem with anything she got (even the pretty sexist Richard Scarry classic What Do People Do All Day? because it's awesome in so many other ways and such a nostalgia trip for me). In fact, it's all pretty great.

But I'm nonetheless finding myself aware of the gaps, aware that intentionally or not, the balance of her new possessions is clearly on the "caring and nurturing" side over the "making things, using their hands and solving problems" side. This is leading me to fantasize about spending money I don't have on a tool set or TinkerToys or Montessori counting rods (or the Free to Be reissue).

I am, of course, probably overreacting and should just take a deep breath, let life return to normal, and keep my eyes on the garage sales. It's not like imaginative nuturing play will limit her ability to develop other skills. It's more that I'm concerned about her getting to the age of developing a gender identity, which isn't far off, and deciding that based on the evidence so far, these are girl toys and she should eschew the others. Any other parents of daughters feeling the same way? (Or, for that matter, parents of sons having the reciprocal problem?)

Photo by Doeth, via Flickr.

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Lost Dog Makes it Home For Christmas

JeanneSager — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 19:05:00 GMT

If you think a nineteen-hour holiday drive would be tough on a family's three-year-old, how about the family dog?

Nine hours into the trip home from the Freeman family Thanksgiving, Australian shepherd mix Bentley slipped his collar in a hotel parking lot and took off. The Freemans were ten hours from home, and couldn't find their pooch. But three-year-old son Jonathan wasn't worried. Turns out - he didn't need to be.

Bentley was picked up and taken to the Wichita Humane Society in Kansas, who scanned his microchip and called the Freemans in Texas on Sunday. Jonathan was right - his pup made it home for Christmas.

It's one of those awwwwww stories that fills even the grinchiest with holiday cheer. It's also made me start thinking more seriously about taking my menagerie to the vet to be microchipped. All rescues, my pets never came through a store or breeder who chipped them as kittens/pups. Nor did they come from shelters - which have slowly started to invest in the microchip technology (funding his short at most shelters, so it's still hit and miss).

It will mean an expense on my part, but watching my own three-year-old "share" her Christmas cookies with the dog and plop her new crown on the cat's head, I realize I'm not the only one around here who needs the four-legged part of the family around. So I guess we'll be making the investment soon - as much for the kid's sake as the animals'.

Image/Source: The Dallas Morning News

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Stop Sending Palin Baby Presents

JeanneSager — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 13:03:00 GMT

So the economy's in the crapper, and parents are cutting back on everything from Santa to travel. So why are gifts pouring into the Palin household?

The former (so happy to say that) vice presidential candidate's father, Chuck Heath, told Grandparents.com that gifts for granddaughter Bristol Palin's soon-to-be born baby boy have been piling up from around the world. Really, this is what people are spending their money on?

In case none of you remember, the Palin family isn't exactly hurting. Mom just got offered a raise by one of the commissions she helped appoint (OK, OK, she turned it down - but who is actually getting offers for EXTRA money in their paycheck this year?). Then there are all those RNC shopping spree clothes (including that Ramones tee for a tot).

Bristol Palin does not need our charity. But at last count, Chuck Heath says there are one hundred thousand gifts waiting for baby boy Johnston. Yes, you read that right - one hundred thousand.

He admits she'll probably never use them all (ya think?), but I've yet to hear any offers to give these things away to a pregnancy center or maybe make some Christmases brighter around Alaska.

We get it, some people actually liked Sarah Palin. If you really want to pay tribute to her, how about donating some gifts in her name to someone who could actually use them?

Ooh, I know, how about one of those centers for pregnant teens she cut funding from? Just a suggestion.

Image: Reuters Via ParentDish

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Is This Why We Escalate the Holidays?

Miriam Axel-Lute — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Is some of the holiday excess we see a symptom of parents trying to recapture the thrill of introducing a special time to their youngest kids?

I ponder that in my biweekly column for the local paper this week:

"If you enjoy the winter holidays, as my family decidedly does, introducing them to a toddler is a blast. Our daughter wakes up each morning (and after each nap) asking "Is it a new day?" because she wants to snap another felt ornament on our advent calendar ("alendar calendar" to her). She hugs the Christmas tree. She wants to take walks to see her favorite moving lit-up reindeer contraptions in neighbors' yards. . . .

Right now it's so easy. She's full of wonder anyway; everything is new and exciting. . . . In fact, if we act excited about something, we have an 80 percent chance of her being excited too. I remember clearly how last year, when she was one and a half, getting to eat a cookie first thing in the morning and getting a gift of a container of raisins that was under her control, to be eaten at whatever pace she wanted, was enough to make a red-letter day.

This year, the simple little idea of shining our shoes on Christmas Eve is so exciting she can barely wait and keeps lobbying to do it earlier.

I think it was the shoes thing that made me realize: I am in grave danger of trying to recapture this thrill, this sense of being able to effortlessly offer my children wonder, every December. I know that no matter how much she might continue to like the holidays, it won't be like this again. But who wouldn't want it to be?

Suddenly I had a flash of compassion for the parents escalating their purchases each year or fighting to hold on to their kids' belief in Santa one more season. Even if you're not facing peer-instigated disappointment from older kids who didn't get the latest whatsit, who wouldn't feel the urge to keep reaching after the irreplaceable delight of a kid facing her first snow, first menorah, first stocking?"

Here's the rest. Does it ring true, or am I off base?

Photo by OctopusHat.

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Gifts I Want That I Can Pretend Are For The Kids

Brett Singer — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:00:00 GMT

One of the things I like about being a parent is the fact that it allows me to regress with impunity. For example, a childless man who plays with Legos? Creepy. A father who plays with Legos? Aw, that's so sweet. He's such a good dad. With that in mind, here are a few gifts that I want this holiday season that I can pretend are really for the children. If they're lucky, I might even let the kids play with them.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed – when we got a Wii, one of the first things I thought of was, "I want a game that lets me use the WiiMote like a sword." When I heard about a new Star Wars game that would allow you to use the WiiMore like a LIGHTSABER, I realized that this was potentially a dream come true. A dream I didn't even know I had. Namely, that I could use the WiiMote like a lightsaber. Hello? How many times did I imagine that I was Luke Skywalker, battling Darth Vader, denying he was my father as I swung my lightsaber in defiance? (Yes, Han Solo was cooler but Luke was a Jedi and was a more attainable goal – you weren't going to be as cool as Han, but you could definitely be like Luke. OK, I was a kid with self-esteem issues.) The idea that I can do this as an adult and get away with it because I have a son is almost too cool to imagine. Reviews of the game on Amazon are mixed, ranging from "pretty good" to "Worst. Game. Ever." There are a few "all my childhood dreams realized" comments on there. Until I actually play the game, I'll stick with those.

To make the nerdy experience truly complete, there is the Thrustmaster Glow Saber Duo Pack, which sounds like the name of a sex toy from a Woody Allen movie but is actually a Wii accessory where you insert the WiiMote into a glowing piece of plastic and wave it around like a lightsaber.

Peanuts Holiday Collection (It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown / A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving / A Charlie Brown Christmas): This one isn't as embarrassing as the other two. The various Peanuts holiday specials have, in my opinion, stood the test of time better than any others. The animation is pleasantly low-key, the voice acting isn't obnoxiously loud and the kids actually sound like kids, and there are no stupid adults around. It's sentimental without being saccharine, funny without resorting to lowbrow comedy (nothing wrong with that but it's nice to see something different everyone now and then), and its great when you can enjoy something from your childhood with your kids without being forced to explain to them why you like it.

Marvel Transformers: It's unclear how I managed to not hear about these amazing new toys. It could be because I'm an adult. But I don't like that explanation. How can something as unbelievably cool as an Iron Man Transformer action figure not have been on my geeky radar? I might have to turn in my Platinum Nerd Card. In all seriousness – well, not ALL seriousness, this isn't a very serious topic – these look cool, appear to be in stock at Amazon, and would provide hours of fun for me, I mean MY CHILDREN. So come on. Fill my stocking with superheroes!

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When Wrap Rage Attacks

SunnyChanel — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 18:30:00 GMT

I hate kid’s Christmas presents. And I have the scars to prove it. Each year parents like me get cut, poked and mercilessly maimed by the sharp edges, slivered plastic and spiky wire twist ties that encase toys for our kids. Case in point, someone recently gave my daughter the My Little Pony Ponyville Sweet Sundae Amusement Park (yeah, it was a gift…what can you do), I spent more time attempting to unleash this beast from the packaging than my child spent playing with it. When you have to spend that much time, employ tools like scissors and pliers and actually shed not only sweat but blood in attempting to open the plethora of packaging, you know something is very very wrong.

One company heard the cries of the package openers across this great land and has launched an initiative that is "designed to alleviate "wrap rage", a very noble cause indeed. Amazon.com is stocking a selection of gifts that they deliver which are free of the hard plastic, plastic bindings and wire ties and are instead simply packaged in a recyclable box. They call it The Amazon Frustration Free™ Packaging. They even have a website called the Gallery of Wrap Rage where people post their pictures and videos of cuts, scraps and crying babies, all victims of excess packaging.

Let’s hope this trend continues. I’d really like to see clam shells only on the dinner table and never again under the tree.

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Babble Talk: Staying Home and Skipping the Santa Myth

Miriam Axel-Lute — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 21:10:00 GMT

All around me it seems, my peers and my fellow Babble writers are exploring putting their collective feet down about holiday traditions. Perhaps it's that we feel emboldened to declare our own rules once our kids start getting older, or maybe it's just time for a little generational power shift. Who knows.

One of the major issues is who goes where when. Jeanne Sager, in her bad parent column "Sorry Can't Make It" has a firm answer: We're staying put. I seem to be luckier than Jeanne in that I generally enjoy the family holiday gatherings I'm expected to attend, but I know plenty of people in her boat, and I recognize all of her other points: The non-festiveness of travel, of being in company mode, of being expected to dress up the kid. I would add to that the sheer exhaustion of decisions and logistics, since in my extended family we've never settled on a default plan—I think we've spent Christmas day in five different places over the past eight years.

So we, too, have decided to make it our new default to stay in our very own house for most of Christmas day itself, with a drive to nearby grandparents for dinner. It feels like declaring a center, and lets us create a Christmas tradition that is our family's own, instead of trying to awkwardly re-create the childhood Christmases of one of our families of origin.

We're still getting in the car on the 26th for a long drive, it's true, but somehow that feels different.

Meanwhile, Sasha Brown-Worsham won't let her child believe in Santa, and commenters seem to think she's taking an extreme and Grinchy stance. I never would have expected it, having been a believe-until-late kid myself, but as a parent, I'm with Sasha. For me it doesn't have to do with trauma from mall santas, or even wanting to avoid waiting in line to see one. Nor does it have to do with being a humbug or a Grinch—if anything we go a bit overboard with emphasizing the magic and stories of the season. If my daughter decides for herself to believe in Santa, as some kids who are explicitly told otherwise do, that won't bother me.

Nor I don't mind telling the story. I've read Rudolph in the original rhyming couplets a dozen times in the past week. In fact, the way we've decided to handle Santa's omnipresence is just to add a bunch of other stories about gift-giving figures (La Befana, Holle, St. Nicholas) to my daughter's repetoire of seasonal tales.

The thing that gets me is how people suddenly get seriously invested in our children really believing something that isn't true, as if that's required in order to have a sense of wonder about the season. Not just telling a fun story, but going to major contortions to make it seem plausible (different handwriting on the tags etc.) and having hysterics if another kid lets the truth slip (or a parent opts out of the game). I am also pretty creeped out by the idea that some random old guy is keeping track of your behavior and is going to judge you worthy of gifts or not a year later. How very Calvinist. Besides, no parent I've heard of actually withholds gifts for bad behavior any more.

There's also the story I remember hearing of the girl who kept asking Santa for things she knew her parents couldn't afford, and kept getting them. When she learned, she was consumed with guilt. Yippee! There's the Christmas spirit for you!

So, while I won't be on a crusade to spoil other families' Santa charades, we're not playing, thanks.

More by this author:

Are these toys sold out?

Brett Singer — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

According to Gareb Shamus of Toy Wishes Magazine, these toys are what all the kids want. But, says Shamus, you can't get them, because they're sold out. I'm not sure that he's correct about that. We checked on seven toys here, now let's try eight more.

8. Clone Wars Voice Changing Helmet: Again, Amazon's got it, not even from a third-party shipper. But it's not Darth Vader. So what's the point? According to the product description, "Kids want to be clone troopers." (That's actually listed as a product feature. Odd.) I hope that this statement is not true. If it is, that is sad. Wanting to be Han Solo, I get. Wanting to be a Clone Trooper? Say it ain't so, Bo(ba).

9. Wall-E - U-Command, i-Dance and Transforming: i-Dance they have. Same with U-Command. (Couldn't find Transforming for some reason.) However, both are from third-party folks, and U-Command is over $150.00. That seems like a bad idea unless one of the commands is "rob a bank."

10. Club Penguin Plush and trading cards: Bingo! Club Penguin Plush, not in stock as of this writing. Available from a random person. Looks kind of ugly to me but what do I know. Trading cards they have from third party folks.

11. Webkinz – Plush: It might be tough to find the specific one your kid wants (Webkinz Platypus, anyone? I just made that up) but these are out there.

12. Imaginext – Superfriends: Amazon has it! At least, they have some of them, like this Batmobile. If these are from the same series of toys that my younger son has, I highly recommend them. It's like Batman-lite – more BatMite than Dark Knight. (If you get that reference, you earn points towards your Geek Gold Card.) Fun for kids and also dads. At least this dad.

13. Nerf - all the Nerf Blasters: Well, not ALL, since Amazon has this ominously named Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 Dart Blaster. Weapon of kiddie mass destruction, anyone? Also not for the under 3 set.

14. Eyeclops night vision goggles: These look kinda cool, and are in stock. My problem with toys like these is that in my experience kids get bored with them pretty quickly. But perhaps your children are different.

15. Girl Gourmet cupcake maker: I'm not a fan of children making "real" food with dopey fake playsets like these. Why is that? Because I can't imagine that the ingredients of the "special cupcake mixes" are substances that occur in nature. This comment from Amazon, titled "What's that smell??" is telling and quite helpful: "At the end of the day, it was fun for them, stinky for all of us and too darn messy. You are better off with supervised baking then this junky mix." The commenter goes on to say that the product is a good idea but the "flavoring needs tweaking." I beg to differ, but hey, to each his or her own. I'm not against my children eating crap, but they should eat good old American pre-packaged crap that doesn't require further preparation.

So no offense to Mr. Shamus, but this stuff doesn't appear to be as sold out as he said. I'm thinking bad economy = easier to find popular toys. To be fair, many of the items were unavailable except through third-party sellers. But it seems like, with a little digging, you can get most of what your kids want. Not that the holidays are all about toys. But sometimes they are.

When Holiday Toys Attack

Half Price Toys at Target

Last Day For Free Holiday Shipping

Indiana Planned Parenthood Sells Gift Certificates

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Babble Podcast for December 15, 2008

They Say – Lots of Toys Are Sold Out – Or Are They?

Brett Singer — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

According to Gareb Shamus of Toy Wishes Magazine, these toys are what all the kids want. But, says Shamus, you can't get them, because they're sold out. I'm not sure that he's correct about that. Let's see what we can find in stock.

1.      Bakugan: My son actually got this as an early Chanukah present. Not bad but a little over-rated in my opinion. Basically you throw little balls into a plastic arena, and if the balls hit a particular magnetic card, they pop open. It's neat but only for the first hundred times. There are also rules that seem too complex for my taste, but I’m old and sometimes these games confuse me. Available at Amazon.
2.      Lego Star Wars and Lego Batman: Lego Star Wars is great. Lego Batman, feh. Don't bother. I'm talking about the video games, though, not the Legos themselves. In general I believe that any Legos are good Legos, so if you can't find Star Wars or Batman versions, just go with regular ones. If the kids complain, tell them they should be glad they're getting any presents at all in this economy. (OK, telling them that would be mean. But it's fun to think about, right?) Lots of options at Amazon, but it does appear that most are sold out.
3.      Star Wars Action Figures - All, particularly Clone Commander Cody and Ahsoka Tano: This reveals me to be a tremendous nerd, but I think I've outed myself as Dorky Dad a long time ago. Commander Cody action figures are sold out??? That just doesn't seem right. I mean, I remember when Boba Fett was hard to find. That I can understand. But Commander Cody? C'mon. Available at Amazon for a whopping $44.99. Crazy.
4.      Dora Magical Figures: I found these on Craig's List, although they're probably gone by now. (Note: I am not suggesting you buy something from Craig's List. Also not suggesting that you DON'T buy from Craig's List. That is what is known as a "covering my butt disclaimer". That's a legal term.)
5.      Ben 10 Alien Creation Chamber: Amazon has it from a third-party retailer. Sadly, it does not appear to create life-size "Island of Doctor Moreau" creatures.
6.      Hasbro - Marvel Transformers: I was unaware of the existence of these action figures, but now that I am, I must have them. I mean, my son must have them. Iron Man meets Transformers? Are you kidding me??? Amazon seems to have them in stock from third-party retailers. I… I mean, my SON, really wants these. All of them.
7.      Yo Gabba Gabba Dance Mat: Amazon's got it. It looks fun, but noisy. Also: "CHOKING HAZARD -- Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs." Which seems odd because that's an age I would think this product appeals to. But I guess not.

Hmmm... so far lots of stuff is in stock, although sometimes from third-party sellers. For eight more, check out part 2 here.

When Holiday Toys Attack

Half Price Toys at Target

Last Day For Free Holiday Shipping

Indiana Planned Parenthood Sells Gift Certificates

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Babble Podcast for December 15, 2008

When Holiday Toys Attack

Brett Singer — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:15:00 GMT

Remember the Cabbage Patch Riots of 1983? How about the Tickle Me Elmo Fiasco of 1996?

MentalFloss has helpfully provided a round-up of "5 Dangerously Popular Holiday Toys," complete with video.

At various times in our nation's history, there have been toys that capture the public's imagination. The desire for said toy becomes so intense that folks will do anything – ANYTHING – to get it for their children. They become blinded by desire, and sometimes that desire can turn to rage. Or, if not rage, the spending of far too much money on eBay.

I don't think that there is a toy out there this season that has achieved this level of frenzied consumerism, but it's possible that there is and my kids aren't into whatever it is. Anyone looking for something that they haven't been able to find? Let us know in the comments.

Anyway, here are The Toys That Once Made Parents Hearts Pound:

1. Cabbage Patch Kids (1983)
I personally never got into these dolls at all, and never understood their appeal. But I was in the minority. Stories of people spending hundreds of dollars for one of these odd-looking mushy dolls that did nothing except come with adoption papers were rampant. What I never knew was that Coleco, the company that made the dolls, created fake hospitals where the Patch Dolls were "born" in order to entice toy buyers. It worked, but a little too well – check out this video of people literally attacking store managers and other customers just to get one of what the anchorwoman calls "dumpy little dolls." Ah, good times. Bonus: 80's hairstyles.

2. Tickle Me Elmo (1996)
I've never liked Elmo. To me, he took over one third of Sesame Street and relegated show business veteran Grover to a supporting role, something I will never forgive him for. (For more about Elmo's creulty to Grover, check out this site.) Clearly little kids love the little red monster (who himself loves only his crayon and his goldfish), so toys were inevitable. But who could have predicted the craziness that ensued when Tickle Me Elmo showed up? Luckily, I didn't have kids yet or I might have been trampled trying to obtain an Elmo for my kids to tickle. Hm. Something about that sentence seems wrong.

The others are the Furby, which was an early interactive toy that I personally just found irritating; Beanie Babies, which were as much a grown-up collector thing as they were a toy for tots; and the Wii and PS3. This last one I think MentalFloss missed the boat on. Yes, the PS3 was briefly a hard to get item, but a high price, a limited amount of games and the availability of the much cheaper but still fun PS2 combined to throw a wet blanket onto consumer desire. The Wii is still tough to find; I know of two parents who are trying to get one right now. And the Wii Balance Board, or Wii Fit, is sold out everywhere. Of course, parents aren't trampling each other in an attempt to get one, they're just overpaying on eBay. That, my friends, is progress.

For some less stressful and more current gift choices, check out Babble's Ultimate Gift Guide.

Source: MentalFloss

Are these toys sold out? (Part 2)

Last Day For Free Holiday Shipping

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Half Price Toys at Target

Indiana Planned Parenthood Sells Gift Certificates

They Say – Most Toys Are Toxic

Girly Gift Guide

White House Sends Chanukah Card With Christmas Tree On It

How to Choose a Chem Set for Your Kid

Miriam Axel-Lute — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

Worried that gender-specific toys are hampering your daughter's math and science prospects? Longing to have your garage blown up so you have an excuse to build a better one? Nostalgic for the days when we believed in better living through chemistry?

The folks from Make magazine have got you covered with their chemistry gift guide. Don't be put off by some of the expensive stuff up front—it gets more reasonable, on average, as you scroll down. If you're ambitious (maybe for next year), there are articles on collecting the materials to make your own. Think of it as a DIY project that doesn't really take skill, just chutzpah.

You might want to be careful about older sets from places like eBay—they could contain mercury thermometers and the like. On the other hand, the newer ones might contain nothing all that interesting, in the name of safety, so you'll have to judge the tradeoff.

As for me, I feel like I ought to be excited by all these options, and instead I'm reminded that fact that I find chemistry more interesting in a book than in the flesh means I had no business completing a chemistry degree. But at least it's more interesting than having a misbegotten English major. Someday I'll give my kids a chance to be more experimental, as it were, than I was.

More by this author:

Last Day For Free Holiday Shipping

Brett Singer — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:15:00 GMT

With the economy in shambles (even the wealthy are losing big money) I wanted to do my part to tell people how to save a little cash this holiday season. We began with Please Buy Stuff Part 1 – Cheap Toys, which featured a half-off toy sale at Target. Now here is Please Buy Stuff Part 2 – Free Shipping.

If you put off your holiday shopping because you were (a) busy, (b) waiting until the last possible second in an attempt to secure the best price, or (c) all of the above, more than 100 merchants are in your corner. On Thursday, December 18, web retailers from 1800Mustang (specializing in Mustang parts – the cars, not the horses) to Zappos.com (shoes) will ship your stuff for free AND guarantee delivery by Christmas. On the list are Babies R Us, Apple, Big Toe Soccer, OhToy.com – a huge list, and it keeps growing, according to FreeShippingDay.com.

Once again, procrastinators are rewarded. In fact, the web site even says, "Free Shipping Day is the last chance for many procrastinators."

As one who celebrates Chanukah, I wish the same deal applied for the festival of lights. That said, The First Night of Jewy Christmas coincides nicely with Actual Christmas this year – the evening of December 21, with the final night occurring on December 28. So you can pick up some chachkis to give the kids on the first few days (thereby supporting your local merchants), then give them the good stuff later in the week.

That actually works well for the way we do Chanukah in our house. We do eight gifts, but most are of the smaller variety, with a big one on or about the final night. So although FreeShippingDay unsurprisingly focuses on Christmas, it also works for Chanukah, as well as Kwanzaa, which begins on December 26.

It's as if merchants everywhere are saying, "Please – please buy something! The toys are half price, you get free shipping with guaranteed holiday delivery even if you wait until the last minute – wouldja just buy something already? Please? No, really. Buy something. Anything. What's that? My watch? Um, it's not for sale… oh, you'll take a Barbie Dream Car Set if I throw in my watch? And my shoes? Uh… sure! It's the holidays. Why not? Merry New Year!"

Anyone else feel like retailers are desperate? And while it's nice to be the beneficiary of some of this stuff-based holiday cheer, doesn’t it feel a teeny bit weird?

Oh well. Get it while the getting's good. Nothing distracts a kid from the world's problems like a shiny new toy. And seeing them open it is still one of the best freebies around.

Are You Cutting Back This Holiday Season?

Indiana Planned Parenthood Sells Gift Certificates

What NOT to Tell Your Child After You've Been Laid Off

White House Sends Chanukah Card With Christmas Tree On It

It's Hip Hop . . . for Babies

They Say – Most Toys Are Toxic

Parents Make Son Hold 'I Will Never Shoplift Again' Signs

Mini Baby Sculptures Not Edible, Selling Like Hotcakes

Toy Libraries: An Idea in Need of a Comeback?

Girly Gift Guide

Vonage Offers Free Calls To Santa

Make Your Own Religious Doll

Banana Wieners and the 10 Other Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 2)

Cole Gamble — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Celeb 4 A Day

For somewhere between $250 and $1,500 this company will give your child the celeb treatment, including screaming fans, paparazzi, limousines and bodyguards. If you ever fretted your child would never have the opportunity to get mentally warped like a child star, here’s a great way to make up for it.

Houdini Action Figure

Have fun explaining to your kid who Houdini is. “Whaddya mean ya don’t know Houdini? Why he was the real McCaw, sonny boy. Twenty-Three Skidoo!”

Pet Rock

No, you can’t buy the Pet Rock in stores anymore, but you can always grab a rock out of your backyard, toss it in a shoe box and call it a day. I bring up the Pet Rock now because the story behind it is an interesting one. Ad Exex Gary Dahl thought up the idea of tossing rocks into a box and calling it a pet back in 1975. The Pet Rock became a short-lived fad, only selling for six months, but in that six months Dahl sold 5 million of the rocks for $3.95 each. Because of the low cost of the product (they are rocks); Gary pocketed 3 bucks on each sale, which netted him $15,000,000 in only six months. That equates to $56,166,419.02 today. The moral of the story: I hate Gary Dahl.

Trailer Trash Doll

Please don’t give this to your child. Please don’t.

M134 7.62mm Minigun

I thought I’d end the list with something obscenely dangerous. What you are looking at, ladies and gentlemen, is a BB gun. Yes, the gun that shot Ralphie’s eyes out. This particular air gun is exactly modeled after a real military gun. Instead of bullets, this baby shoots 6mm BBs from a 3,000 round magnum. You could literally fight a small nation with one of these, or take on a horde of murderous, but honorable aliens (Predator reference, sorry). Why this would be considered a toy for anyone any age is a mystery.

Having said that…OH MY GOD THAT LOOKS SO AWESOME!

Go Back to Part 1

More by this author:

A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Banana Dildos and the 10 Worst Toys and Gifts This Christmas (part 1)

Skinny Jeans for Little Boys?

Desert Island Disks – Kid Music Edition

Gangsta’ Muppets: 12 of the Best Kids Show/Rap Mash-Ups

The Worst Baby Products Ever (Part I)

10 Things You May Not Know About Pregnancy (and might shock you)

The 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever

Angelina and Brad are Christmas Crafters!

SunnyChanel — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:00:00 GMT

Are you wondering what Angelina, Brad or their brood will be getting for Christmas? Well get out the yarn, the popsicle sticks and the glittered pipe cleaners because, according to Hello! Magazine, the Jolie-Pitt family prefers a thoughtfully handmade gift as opposed to a extravagant present.

Pitt told the magazine, "We do exchange gifts, although we don't feel any pressure to make them big or expensive gifts… the kids don't ask for big gifts for the reason that they don't see a lot of the American cartoon television, which is packed with all those manipulative commercials for big toys that look so fantastic.”

With their gift giving, they try too not overdo it and spend a lot of money on the family presents. “The rule is that everyone's got to make something for someone else, you got to put time into it," Pitt said.

I’d love a gift made by Angelina or Brad…hello eBay! It is sweet that they are on a quest to satisfy the family thirst for presents with items of the home made variety. I know that the kids in my life, who do happen to watch ‘American cartoon television’, would be none too pleased with such gifts. I wish they would. But really, who am I kidding, I don’t even have the time to do the laundry let alone craft something meaningful and majestic enough to pass as a decent Xmas present.

Do you give your kids handmade gifts? And do they like them?

Source

Photo: W Magazine

Santa Reinvented: Decidedly Naughty and Passing for German

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

If kids from 1907 were around today, they would be sorely disappointed in the lack of technological advancements Santa has made in the last century. The picture to the right is taken from a 1907 children's book, depicting what Santa would look like in 100 years. Screw the rein deer, our predecessors seemed to think. Santa's gonna be powered by a fan. And forget the sleigh; give the old man what Jezebel has not inaccurately termed a "dildo-shaped blimp."

In more inappropriate Santa news, The Guardian asked 10 contemporary artists to "reinvent the image of Father Christmas." The results include bikinis, beer bellies, strangulation, and Barack Obama. To give just one example by the artist Juergen Teller:

Now there's a Santa your kids would probably rather not meet.

Another artist, Rob Smith, included a cautionary tale with his Santa depiction:

"Last year, in the village where I live, I was asked to dress up as Father Christmas and give presents to the local kids. I was really flattered. I took the role seriously. I put on what I thought was a Scandinavian accent. When I asked what one little girl wanted for Christmas, she burst into tears....She cried, 'Father Christmas is a Nazi.'"

So the next time you try to impersonate a Scandinavian Santa Claus, make sure your accent is flawless.

Photos: Jezebel, The Guardian

Letter to Santa: Make My Relative Stop Touching Me