Marvel's greatest sh*t

Brett Singer — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 18:00:00 GMT

The latest attempt at a film version of "The Incredible Hulk" hits theaters on June 13. Hopes are not high among True Believers, but it can't be as bad as the Ang Lee stinker that came out in 2003, right? Marvel is riding high on the massive success of "Iron Man", and the fine ferrous fellow has a cameo in the new "Hulk", which should bring out a few more folks on opening weekend.

"Hulk" is the second film that Marvel has produced on their own. Before "Spider-Man" was a massive hit, Marvel licensed out their characters to seemingly anyone, often with very little success.

So in honor of this momentous occasion, here is a list of some of Marvel's failed movie offerings.

Roger Corman's Fantastic Four

This was supposed to be released in theaters, I even remember seeing the trailer. The word is that Roger, the king of schlocky flicks, spent most of his budget on a costume for The Thing, then had to piece together the rest of the film with almost no money. Somebody looked at his effort and said, "No way are we releasing this." It never saw the light of day but bootlegged versions can be found in video stores and online. Here's somebody who thinks this version is better than the 2005 film. YouTube has clips, 'natch; here is the trailer and the ending.

Fantastic Four - 1994 Roger Corman Original Movie Trailer!

1994 Fantastic Four ending

The Punisher

This one never made it to theaters either. Dolph Lundgren plays Frank Castle, the man whose family was killed by gangsters and then he devotes his life to killing every criminal he can find (hey, not all comics are for kids, you know). This was a bad idea from the start; the final product isn't any better. There was another Punisher film that was released, but it got pretty bad reviews.

Punisher 1989 Witty Comments

The Punisher (1989) trailer

Nick Fury

A TV movie starring David Hasselhoff. Was there ever a chance this would be watchable? It is worth noting that when Nick Fury appears in the new Iron Man movie (you gotta stay for the credits, dude) he's played by Samuel L. Jackson. So they, you know, decided to go in a different direction. I couldn't find video for this one but here's a photo.

(image: David Hasselhoff Online)

Captain America

In a lot of ways this one is the most tragic. Marvel has announced a new Cap film, which is good, but this one has to be seen to be believed. It almost looks like a home movie. Here's a video of Cap versus the Red Skull. The dubbing is in Italian but it should give you an idea of the low-quality filmmaking going on.

Capitan America vs. Red Skull

There are more stinkers out there; if you know of any good/bad ones that I missed, leave it in the comments.

Strollerderby : punisher

Marvel's greatest sh*t

New York Comic Con Photos - Part 1

New York Comic Con Photos - Part 2

5 Best Discoveries from the NY Comic Con, by Ayun Halliday

Gwyneth Paltrow Leaves Family For Robert Downey Jr.

This Is What Happens When Geeks Mate

Gwyneth Paltrow's Traumatic Experience

Iron Man Meets Lactacting Woman

Little Rivets in the Future for Iron Man Robert Downey Jr.?