Strollerderby : sacrifice

Mother-to-Be: Save The Baby's Life, Not Mine

Madeline Holler — Mon, 11 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

At some point during my last pregnancy, I was talking contingency plans with my homebirth midwife. She told me a funny story about another client who had said that were there to be some medical emergency that came down to choosing between the baby's life and her own, save her! Save the mom!

My response to my midwife was, "yeah, that sounds about right."

With that attitude, I started reading this LA Times piece, written by an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at UCLA, Linda Reid Chassiakos.

Chassiakos tells the story of a pregnant woman with a brain tumor who refused life-saving treatment that would have likely killed the 24-week-old fetus growing inside her. Doctors had told her viability for super-premature births is most likely after 28 weeks gestation and after the fetus is at least 2 pounds.

So the mom waited. And waited. Through brain swelling and continued growth of her tumor.

From the LA Times:

To our astonishment -- and joy -- the comatose woman "hung in" until the 28th week. At that point, an ultrasound showed the fetus was probably over the 2-pound mark, and her doctors scheduled the caesarean. Gasping for air, the child was born at a size and weight that would give her a fighting chance of life.

Over the next few days, the new father divided his time between the bedsides of his wife and his daughter. Neurosurgeons removed much of the mother's brain tumor, and the woman regained consciousness within a day. Her tiny girl did develop lung and gastrointestinal conditions -- common to extremely premature infants -- but responded to treatment and continued to grow.

The mother didn't do as well and died two weeks before the baby was released from the hospital at two months old.

The father is, of course, overjoyed with the little girl. As was the mother for the few weeks of their overlapping lives. But I still think I would have stuck with my original birth/death plan. Save me. Save me!

What about you?

Photo: mychildhealth.net

Hero Grandfather Saves Baby, Now In Critical Condition

Kate Tuttle — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:33:00 GMT

A retired Colorado firefighter made an instinctive move of self-sacrifice to save his newborn granddaughter last week; now he's battling back from a horrible array of injuries. Jim Lewin, a 29-year veteran of the Los Angeles County fire department, was walking with his family in Littleton, CO, last Friday night when an out-of-control truck came speeding toward them. As the truck approached, Lewin shoved the stroller holding his 12-day-old grandchild out of the way, seconds before being struck and dragged 75 feet by the truck.

Lewin's injuries include fractures to several ribs, wrist, nose, and other facial bones; a bruised lung; and a severed artery in his neck, which has caused several strokes. He's currently sedated and breathing with a ventilator, but the family reports that he has responded when he hears familiar voices.

I think we all wonder what kind of superhuman strength or courage we could muster when needed, and most of us hope we'd be able to do whatever was necessary to protect our children. Thankfully few of us will be faced with such a test, but Lewin was, and I can only hope he'll recover to enjoy more years with his family.

More by this author:

Baby Nearly Starves to Death, Diluted Formula to Blame
Grandmother’s Right? Or Totally Obnoxious?
Health Scam: Crisis Pregnancy Centers
Mama’s Got a Brand New Bag

When the Times Call for Frugality, What Goes? What Stays?

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 23:00:00 GMT

The Sunday Chicago Tribune reported responses from readers on what they would and wouldn't be willing to give up in tough economic times. (Interesting that they assume everyone can pick and choose, isn't it?)

It seems people are ready to cut Starbucks loose and the occasional automobile. I sympathized with a woman who couldn't bring herself to imagine giving up buying books. I have the same problem. I know the library is free, but I like to hold onto my books and squirrel them away for future reference. (Like the woman in the paper, I'm an academic too, which makes me feel entitled to own my books.)

One woman wouldn't give up her red wine. I found that interesting as my partner and I often congratulate ourselves on the money we save by being virtual non-drinkers. You go to library and drink your wine. I'll enjoy my own book and a cup of tea.

What would you give up? What wouldn't you? Do you have the choice, one way or another?

Father Forced to Chose Which Child to Save

Cole Gamble — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:00:00 GMT

There are some “what if's” that, as a parent, you cringe to even say aloud, let alone ponder. One of the most prevalent is the old “what if both your children were about to die and you could only save one?” The rest of us have the luxury of pushing that horrid thought out of mind. This father had to make the choice for real.

Ian Clayton was on a canoing trip with his eight-year-old twins when their boat capsized in fast current. Clayton's son has quickly pulled downstream, while is daughter was somewhere under the water. Clayton was faced with two options, stay and look for his girl or stop his son from being carried away. Despite his son's protests of “save my sister first,” Clayton went for the boy and successful pulled him to land. Unfortunately it was too late for Clayton's daughter.

Often in parenting it is not the choices we make, but living with the choices we didn't. There is no more extreme example of that fact than this. At least Clayton had the fortitude to take decisive action in the moment, though it will haunt him forever. I think some of us might hesitate, unable to make a horrible decision, and have to live with even more disastrous consequences.

When Boys Attack: 12-Year-Old Saves Mom, Kills Attacker

Cole Gamble — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:00:00 GMT

How does a young man say “I Love You” to his mother? Flowers? Candy? How about fending off her attacker and slaying the man? Yeah, extra points for originality.

When the boy, whose name was not released in this article, heard his mom’s screams, he ran to the kitchen of the boarding house where they live and found a fellow boarder pinning her to the floor and choking her. That’s when the boy picked up a knife…

According to the boy, he kept screaming "stop" at the attacker, all the while swinging the knife. The man would not stop. When police arrived the attacker was still alive and combative, but bleeding heavily. The man later succumbed to his wounds in the hospital.

I remember vividly a story from my childhood about a mother lifting a car off her pinned son. The message seemed to be, “Hey boys, your mama would do anything for you, so stop giving her lip.” Now with this episode of a son’s sacrifice, I think all boys can now say to their moms, “Let’s call it even.”

The story doesn’t end there, though: the boy may still be charged with homicide.

Photo: www.thespoof.com

Suave Isn't Hawking Hair Products, They Just Wanna Help a Martyr Mom Out

Kelly Mills — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 23:00:00 GMT

First, thank you to Mom2Two for pointing me towards this ad campaign by Suave (I have Tivo, so I see nary a commercial these days.) It goes like this: Rapid shots of lady looking pretty, lady then in wedding dress, pregnant lady, harried lady-mom in assorted outfits, mom-lady looking a little haggard, mom-lady fixed up purty by Suave styling products. The campaign line is: "Motherhood Isn't Always Pretty" and the ad says "89 % of moms admit they let themselves go... 100% can get themselves back." Wow, and 100% of moms in my house got crabby when they saw this.

Can you imagine if this campaign was aimed at dads? Dads, did you let yourselves go? Would a styling product help you get "yourself" back? Because this is a theme we've seen like, a billion times: Moms are martyrs who sacrifice even their looks for their families. And so making yourself beautiful again through the latest cream or shampoo or surgery isn't a question of feeling the external pressure on women to be beautiful, or even swallowing what advertisers want us to buy, oh no--it's an act of self-love. It's getting in touch with yourself, the real you, the pre-family you, the you who can only be uncovered when you look hot.

Yeah, 100% of moms can get themselves back, just by using styling products. You tired from all that sacrifice? Well, there's this hairspray that will do what a living wage and quality childcare and affordable housing and a good educational system and real healthcare won't do. It will totally take the place of a community that raises children, saving families from the isolation that hits us hard. And on a personal level, being pretty will give you that sense of personhood and satisfaction you'd never get from a society that values motherhood and parenting in general and encourages moms to be people, not endless fountains of sacrifice. Yippee for my friggin' Suave shampoo. Now, could we get a new way of selling crap to moms? Because I can only be so strident for so long.

Would You Camp Out To Get Your Kid in a Good Preschool?

Kelly Mills — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:08:00 GMT

In Houston, some parents have been sleeping in tents and in their trucks since Friday, saving a place in line to enroll their children and grandchildren in the Houston Junior Forum Community House Preschool. There are 39 slots available for entering children, and these parents--many of them alum of the school themselves--are determined to secure places for their kids in the first-come, first-served registration process. One former grad, who also sent her daughter to the school, recently took camping shifts in line to help her nephew get a spot. She said, "Making a sacrifice like this for your child, with this weather, there's nothing you won't do for your kids."

What makes this school so special? The school has a reputation for preparing low-income, Hispanic children for public school so that they can forgo ESL classes, and even offers college scholarships for some former preschool alums. Seems like maybe the real story is "Why aren't there more programs like this so parents don't have to camp out?" but that's getting complicated, isn't it. And you can see why a few days in the rain and cold might be a price parents would be willing to pay if they believed this school could help prepare their children for success in life.

Would you camp out for your kid? What would you do to get your child into a school?

Photo: Houston Chronicle

Crude And Unusual Punishment: Gas Prices Affecting Children's Healthcare

makeitadouble — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 18:45:00 GMT

The ever-rising cost of crude oil is affecting consumers in more ways than just what they pay at the pump for gasoline, which reached a National average of $3.11 in mid-November. Many common household items are derived from oil (plastic products, polyester, synthetic rubber and soapless cleaners just to name a few) which, coupled with increased shipping costs, is causing most Americans to closely monitor their spending and cut-back where they can. I think we’ve all felt the pinch and have tried to phase out spending money on unnecessary items and amenities like that $6 Starbuck’s Caramel Macchiato on the drive to work, certain name brand products at the grocery store and the health care of our children.

According to a poll conducted over the summer, before the gas prices even passed the $3 gallon plateau, 6% of parents surveyed admitted to cancelling a doctor’s appointment and/or not buying medication for their children in 2007 due to the cost of gasoline. If these numbers are accurate, that equates to over 4 million children on a national level that have had a medical visit or medications postponed because of high gas prices. Now, I think the easy targets here are the heartless and gluttonous oil companies as well as the self-interested politicians and policy makers, but I am going against the grain on this one and placing the blame squarely on the parents.

If you’re a parent in the lower 6% of this bell curve who thinks sacrificing the health of your child is justified due to the global demand of crude oil causing the price per barrel to flirt with the $100 mark I’d like to walk you through a simple exercise. You’ll need a piece of paper and a pencil, preferably a No.2 (ink is derived from oil you know). Ready?

Make a list of everything you can possibly cut-back on or sacrifice as a way to save money due to the high cost of gasoline, but leave “Denying My Child Healthcare” off the list for now. I’ll give you a couple minutes.

Done?

Alright, now that you're done take your kid to the Doctor.

(Photo: Bloomberg.com)